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'We have securitized the lavatory entrance systems'

DEFINITION: v. To demonstrate your superior knowledge and intellect by using complex, confusing and mind-numbingly stupid jargon. n. A person who uses big words to inflate their unusually small ideas.

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Verboticisms

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Idiochat

Created by: hiladizzle

Pronunciation: id-ee-uh-chat

Sentence: She likes to make herself sound smart by using idiochat.

Etymology: Idiot (an utterly foolish or senseless person) + Chat (to talk or converse)

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Pompbastic

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: pomp/bas/tic

Sentence: Petty, pushy, pathetic Paul, the executive assistant of the boss, takes an annoyingly pompbastic approach to simple office memos, aggrandizing them with complicated, enigmatic, esoteric and over-bearing verboseness that royally pisses every body off.

Etymology: POMPBASTIC - from POMPOUS (excessive self-esteem; pretentious) + BOMBASTIC (high-sounding; high-flown; inflated)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Right ON, Big "O"! I can see this definition is going to evoke a lot of verbotomistic primal screams. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-31: 00:57:00

A good verbotomy. - OZZIEBOB, 2009-01-01: 00:21:00

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Masterverbate

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: mas-ter-ver-beyt

Sentence: After Jim finished his daily masterverbating on everyone, going on and on about proper code of conduct they all felt icky and wanted to take a shower.

Etymology: masturbate + verb (as in verbal gratification through self-stimulation)

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COMMENTS:

Love it! "Master", as in I am so much better than you, should be in the etymology as well! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-06: 18:08:00

Laughed long and hard! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 21:32:00

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Snobblahblahing

Aardvark

Created by: Aardvark

Pronunciation: Snaw BLAH BLAH ing

Sentence: Bill was always trying to impress the boss. In almost every meeting he was snobblahblahing his way through his presentation.

Etymology: Snob = believing oneself to be superior, Blah = useless talk (repeated).

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COMMENTS:

Nifty! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 21:40:00

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Gobbledygush

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: GOB-uhl-dee-gush

Sentence: Samantha had a smattering of technical knowledge regarding electronic, photographic and surveillance systems but she had a vast vocabulary and would ramble on with enthusiastic gobbledegush not realizing that most folks knew she was talking nonsense.

Etymology: Blend of 'gobbledygook' (language characterized by circumlocution and jargon, usually hard to understand) and 'gush' (to express oneself extravagantly or emotionally; talk effusively)

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Jargontificate

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /jahr-gon-TIF-i-keyt/

Sentence: All of Ken's employees and co-workers wondered how he had gotten his job, as an Information Technology Manager, since he was practically computer-illiterate and he could barely turn a computer on without help. He was a charismatic talker though, so even though he went around using inappropriate techno-terms and unrelated buzzwords, and he would jargontificate endlessly, he only sounded convincing to other computer-illiterate people. Then he mentioned his background as a Car Salesman, and it all started to make sense.

Etymology: Jargon - language characterized pretentious vocabulary and convoluted syntax, often vague in meaning (from Old French, gargon "a chattering" [of birds]) + Pontificate - to speak in a pompous or dogmatic manner (from Latin, pontifex "bridge-maker")

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COMMENTS:

Great last line in your sentence! Well selected etymology. Good word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-06: 10:55:00

So many good submissions today picking was tough. But this one's a peach, so I picked it. - stache, 2008-03-06: 15:13:00

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Malaproporter

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mal a prop por ter

Sentence: When Christine was in charge of giving instructions, she was a malaproporter. Her big, convaluting words and writing, often left the office staff with confusing instructions. When she ran for the office of Safety and Evacuation Officer, she was voted out, due to her unclear and head-spinning guidance!

Etymology: Malapropism (A malapropism is the production of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous utterance & Purporter (the intended meaning of a communication have the often specious appearance of being, intending, or claiming)

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Patteronise

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: pat err owe n aye z

Sentence: She constantly patteronised Patty, despite doubts being brought forward about the verissimilitude of her verbosity.

Etymology: patronise, patter.

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Pompalicious

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: pomp-a-lishius

Sentence: Listening to the office manager's pompalicious description of simple office tasks depicts how much time she had on her hands.

Etymology: Pompous (excessive display of self-importance) + (a)licious [from lacere meaning deceive or lure; used in words like delicious (de =away) and bootylicious ;)].

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Uberloquitor

Created by: XMbIPb

Pronunciation: /ü-bər-lo-kwi-tor/

Sentence: I can’t even tell you what George and I drank over the weekend. Nor how much of it we drank. Neither remembers. All I can say is that Master George – and there’s no other way I can call him from now on – is a bloody genius! Despite a massive hangover and absolute lack of preparation, he managed to UBERLOQUITATE the entire board meeting into extending our contract for two (count’em – t-w-o) more years! I mean I was sitting there with my head feeling like a cracked egg shell, while Master George managed to pull a presentation full of “gestalt,” “zeitgeist,” “sine qua non,” “parallax,” and at least a dozen words all of which had at least one vowel with an umlaut. I love that guy!

Etymology: uberloquitor (n.), uberloquacious (adj.), uberloquitate (v.) ----- UBER- (fr. Germ.): over, beyond. [Recently replaced other such superlative prefixes as “super-“ and “ultra-“ (see: “ubergeek,” “uberhack,” “ubercool”)] LOQUI – (fr. Latin) to speak.

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COMMENTS:

Ausgezeichnet story... - Nosila, 2010-05-18: 00:41:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-06: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-06: 21:11:00
Love the 'toon today James. I think my boss is considering installing one on our bathroom doors, complete with an age-appropriate timer, which leaves me wondering when I'm gonna get a chance to pluck my eyebrows.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-07: 06:05:00
Thanks Purple, Is there a personal purpose code for plucking your eyebrows? ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-17: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by Nosila. Thank you Nosila. ~ James