Verboticisms

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-lit-er-eh-shur

Sentence: Reading the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, and the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Wanda was again reminded of all the duhliturature she'd encountered on other similar products.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used derisively to indicate that something just stated is all too obvious or self-evident) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material such as labels, circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)

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Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: No-sho

Sentence: These hair dryer instructions are common sense, a real knowshow.

Etymology: To show someone what they should already know. Also a play on no show, cause anyone that needs a knowshow has no show common sense.

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Created by: day4ghee

Pronunciation: RET-ARD-IT-URE

Sentence: BECKY SOON LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF RETARDITURE AFTER DROPPING HER MEGADRY 21,0000 IN THE TUB.

Etymology:

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Created by: Abraxised

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: gemmgemms

Pronunciation: id-ee-aht-la-soot-pree-caht

Sentence: No one wants to be slapped with an easily prevented lawsuit. Use an idiotlawsuitprecaut on your product.

Etymology: idiot+lawsuit+precaution

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Created by: beardo

Pronunciation: Worn me not

Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.

Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dədirekshənz

Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!

Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns

Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".

Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)

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COMMENTS:

Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00

No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: duh-reck-shuns

Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparently all of the visitors to my emergency room that come in with missing fingers due to doing just that failed to read the clearly marked duhrections on the side of the machine.

Etymology: duh + directions

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COMMENTS:

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

Very good!! - Mustang, 2008-11-05: 19:49:00

Duhlightful! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:58:00

But duh snow wasn't coming out! Love your word! - artr, 2008-11-06: 07:46:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/

Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.

Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")

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