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DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
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Dimstruction
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dim-struhk-shuh n
Sentence: Many products come with dimstructions, directions that are so obvious or illconceived that most people don't even bother to read them.
Etymology: dim (not clear to the mind) + instruction (knowledge or information imparted)
Heedfulthings
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: heed full things
Sentence: Sandy was in for a shock because she failed to believe the heedfulthings written on her blowdryer!
Etymology: heedful things (like needful things)
Ninnyguide
Created by: logarithm
Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd
Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.
Warnmenot
Created by: beardo
Pronunciation: Worn me not
Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.
Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont
Sadvice
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sad vice
Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?
Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)
Uselessain
Created by: jack189
Pronunciation: Use-less-ain
Sentence: Joe turned over the bag of peanuts and saw a warning label "Do not eat if allergic to peanuts". "What a Uselessain!" said Joe aloud.
Etymology: Useless(to have no use)+ ain(sufix used to create new word, changed it to a noun)
Stuffover
Created by: avklive
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Oh, again this exclamation sign attracts attention to this stuffover.
Etymology: To stuff the instructions with exuberant and obvious concepts.
Oklikethatsjustsilly
Created by: legion
Pronunciation: that-cartoon-is-very-silly-right-like-who-and-when-did-anyone-find-temselves-in-the-shower-using-a-hairdryer-you-are-already-out-by-then-derrrrrr
Sentence: ok, this one worries me a little!..i understand where you are going with this but in all honesty look at the image and read the text....if you have grabbed your hairdryer to dry your hair in the shower email me......YOU NEED HELP...excuse me but this is very silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also very untruthful
Etymology: i won't grace this with explanation...one word.......HELLO!!!!!!
Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Binstructions
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz
Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.
Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James