Verboticisms

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/

Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.

Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")

| Comments and Points

Created by: beardo

Pronunciation: Worn me not

Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.

Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont

| Comments and Points

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: KLOD-uh-suhl

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the clodicil on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." And he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages.

Etymology: Blend of CLOD: a dolt, blockhead & CODICIL: a short writing containing an explanation .. for a blockhead.

| Comments and Points

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dəlābəl

Sentence: As Jerry got ready for work he noticed that everything he picked up had a duhlabel on it, from the shampoo he wasn't supposed to drink to the electric appliances that were not to join him in the tub; from the razor that was a hazard because it was sharp to the Q-tip that wasn't intended to go in his ear (then why are they shaped like that?) He wondered to himself just how anybody could get safely through their day without these "pearls of wisdom". Of course, Jerry might be a bit slow. It took him 38 years to notice them in the first place.

Etymology: duh (exclamation: used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + label (a small piece of paper, fabric, plastic, or similar material attached to an object and giving information about)

| Comments and Points

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To

Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.

Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: IDDIO-blig-uh-tome

Sentence: ERIKA the Red was a good consumer. Whenever she purchased a new product, she diligently sent in the warranty card and saved the original packing, even though it filled her garage completely. Erika refused to even plug in an appliance until she had carefully read the IDIOBLIGATOME from cover to cover, including the upside-down part printed in Portugese. Erika devoted a five drawer file cabinet to her collection of preposterous pamphlets, superfluous booklets and imbecilic instructions. Recalcitrant by nature, she nonetheless struggled to heed every warning after translating them into Engrish. Fearful of voiding a warranty, she unplugged everything at the first sign of a thunderstorm, and refused to operate her pool filter near liquids of any kind. Ironically, Erika didn't read the fine print on the IDIOBLIGATOME which accompanied her variable-rate mortgage...now she lives in her Volvo station wagon behind the Wal-Mart.

Etymology: IDIOt+oBLIGATory+tOME=IDIOBLIGATOME....IDIOT:usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation,a foolish or stupid person;Middle English, from Anglo-French ydiote, from Latin idiota ignorant person, from Greek idiōtēs one in a private station, layman, ignorant person, from idios one's own, private; akin to Latin suus one's own.....OBLIGATORY:to constrain by physical, moral, or legal force or by the threat of litigation ;Middle English, from Anglo-French obliger, from Latin obligare, literally, to bind to, from ob- toward + ligare to bind.....TOME:a volume forming part of a larger work, a huge or infernally detailed book; Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin tomus, from Greek tomos section, roll of papyrus, tome, from temnein to cut; akin to Middle Irish tamnaid he lops, Polish ciąć to cut, and perhaps to Latin tondēre to shear.

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

I guess nobody ever checks out these links, but this one is highly recommended: http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/hall/main.php - metrohumanx, 2008-11-05: 06:09:00

Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:50:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz

Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.

Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)

| Comments and Points

Created by: paintergrl1313

Pronunciation: No-sho

Sentence: These hair dryer instructions are common sense, a real knowshow.

Etymology: To show someone what they should already know. Also a play on no show, cause anyone that needs a knowshow has no show common sense.

| Comments and Points

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: nob/vee/us

Sentence: Ha ha how nobvious is that!! "Not for use by idiots"

Etymology: obvious + nob (silly person)

| Comments and Points

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dim-struhk-shuh n

Sentence: Many products come with dimstructions, directions that are so obvious or illconceived that most people don't even bother to read them.

Etymology: dim (not clear to the mind) + instruction (knowledge or information imparted)

| Comments and Points