Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Dimwiterature
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: dim/wi/tur/i/chur
Sentence: Sally was an English professor and had no trouble reading the classics. She was, however, totally incapable of understanding the dimwiterature on product instructions.
Etymology: dim wit + literature
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
i can welate to that! - galwaywegian, 2008-11-05: 10:02:00
Excellent! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 12:10:00
great word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:42:00
----------------------------
Oklikethatsjustsilly
Created by: legion
Pronunciation: that-cartoon-is-very-silly-right-like-who-and-when-did-anyone-find-temselves-in-the-shower-using-a-hairdryer-you-are-already-out-by-then-derrrrrr
Sentence: ok, this one worries me a little!..i understand where you are going with this but in all honesty look at the image and read the text....if you have grabbed your hairdryer to dry your hair in the shower email me......YOU NEED HELP...excuse me but this is very silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also very untruthful
Etymology: i won't grace this with explanation...one word.......HELLO!!!!!!
Heedfulthings
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: heed full things
Sentence: Sandy was in for a shock because she failed to believe the heedfulthings written on her blowdryer!
Etymology: heedful things (like needful things)
Guidunce
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Guy-dunce
Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!
Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00
Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00
----------------------------
Uselessain
Created by: jack189
Pronunciation: Use-less-ain
Sentence: Joe turned over the bag of peanuts and saw a warning label "Do not eat if allergic to peanuts". "What a Uselessain!" said Joe aloud.
Etymology: Useless(to have no use)+ ain(sufix used to create new word, changed it to a noun)
Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Redundinstructions
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns
Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".
Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00
No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00
----------------------------
Duhrections
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: duh rek shuns
Sentence: He normally followed all the duhrections, so when his newly acquired driving licence told him to tear along the dotted line....
Etymology: directions duh
----------------------------
COMMENTS:
I\'ve seen a bunch of these guys out on the road. Nice! - artr, 2010-04-05: 07:25:00
Duhlicious word - Nosila, 2010-04-06: 00:14:00
----------------------------
Ninnyguide
Created by: logarithm
Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd
Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James