Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dədirekshənz

Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!

Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: duh-lit-er-eh-shur

Sentence: Reading the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, and the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Wanda was again reminded of all the duhliturature she'd encountered on other similar products.

Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used derisively to indicate that something just stated is all too obvious or self-evident) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material such as labels, circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)

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Created by: avklive

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Oh, again this exclamation sign attracts attention to this stuffover.

Etymology: To stuff the instructions with exuberant and obvious concepts.

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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Created by: legion

Pronunciation: that-cartoon-is-very-silly-right-like-who-and-when-did-anyone-find-temselves-in-the-shower-using-a-hairdryer-you-are-already-out-by-then-derrrrrr

Sentence: ok, this one worries me a little!..i understand where you are going with this but in all honesty look at the image and read the text....if you have grabbed your hairdryer to dry your hair in the shower email me......YOU NEED HELP...excuse me but this is very silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also very untruthful

Etymology: i won't grace this with explanation...one word.......HELLO!!!!!!

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz

Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.

Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)

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Created by: day4ghee

Pronunciation: RET-ARD-IT-URE

Sentence: BECKY SOON LEARNED THE IMPORTANCE OF RETARDITURE AFTER DROPPING HER MEGADRY 21,0000 IN THE TUB.

Etymology:

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Created by: grohldberg12

Pronunciation: (ree-dun-duh-low-kway-zh[i]un

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dull-LIT-er-uh-chur

Sentence: When she saw the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, amd the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Stephanie was once again reminded of all the dulliturature she'd encountered on other similar (usually imported) products.

Etymology: Blend of 'dull' (mentally slow; lacking brightness of mind; somewhat stupid; obtuse) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material, as circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)

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COMMENTS:

Dullectable - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 22:01:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad vice

Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?

Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)

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