Verboticisms

Created by: grohldberg12

Pronunciation: (ree-dun-duh-low-kway-zh[i]un

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: stu/plic/it

Sentence: The warning label on the glass bottle was completely stuplicit; "Do not eat the bottle".

Etymology: stupid + explicit

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Guy-dunce

Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!

Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce

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COMMENTS:

Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00

Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/

Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.

Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dull-LIT-er-uh-chur

Sentence: When she saw the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, amd the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Stephanie was once again reminded of all the dulliturature she'd encountered on other similar (usually imported) products.

Etymology: Blend of 'dull' (mentally slow; lacking brightness of mind; somewhat stupid; obtuse) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material, as circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)

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COMMENTS:

Dullectable - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 22:01:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: nob/vee/us

Sentence: Ha ha how nobvious is that!! "Not for use by idiots"

Etymology: obvious + nob (silly person)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: dil-LURT-iv

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the dillertive on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." However, he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages for not putting a more meaningful clodicil on the cup.

Etymology: DILL: a fool, dillbrain, dunderhead; dill a cognate of dull; LERT from Alert: a warning or alarm against impending danger & IVE: suffix meaning having a tendency to, having the quality, character or nature of. consider woprds such as captive, derivative, objective.

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COMMENTS:

love clodicil too - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:58:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To

Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.

Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: heed full things

Sentence: Sandy was in for a shock because she failed to believe the heedfulthings written on her blowdryer!

Etymology: heedful things (like needful things)

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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