Verboticisms

Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Guy-dunce

Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!

Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce

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COMMENTS:

Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00

Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00

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Created by: avklive

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Oh, again this exclamation sign attracts attention to this stuffover.

Etymology: To stuff the instructions with exuberant and obvious concepts.

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Created by: beardo

Pronunciation: Worn me not

Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.

Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: stoo-pi-speak

Sentence: Nowdays, everything comes with stupispeak labeling.

Etymology: a combo of stupid and speak

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous

Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.

Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits

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Created by: Abraxised

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: legion

Pronunciation: that-cartoon-is-very-silly-right-like-who-and-when-did-anyone-find-temselves-in-the-shower-using-a-hairdryer-you-are-already-out-by-then-derrrrrr

Sentence: ok, this one worries me a little!..i understand where you are going with this but in all honesty look at the image and read the text....if you have grabbed your hairdryer to dry your hair in the shower email me......YOU NEED HELP...excuse me but this is very silly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and also very untruthful

Etymology: i won't grace this with explanation...one word.......HELLO!!!!!!

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Re - dun - dunse

Sentence: Beatrice was annoyed that the manufacturer considered her a redundunce by including instructions on the hair dryer warning against using while sleeping.

Etymology: Redundant + dunce

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COMMENTS:

Great creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-08: 13:18:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns

Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".

Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)

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COMMENTS:

Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00

No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00

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