Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Heedfulthings
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: heed full things
Sentence: Sandy was in for a shock because she failed to believe the heedfulthings written on her blowdryer!
Etymology: heedful things (like needful things)
Guidunce
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Guy-dunce
Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!
Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce
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COMMENTS:
Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00
Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00
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Ninnyguide
Created by: logarithm
Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd
Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.
Knowshow
Created by: paintergrl1313
Pronunciation: No-sho
Sentence: These hair dryer instructions are common sense, a real knowshow.
Etymology: To show someone what they should already know. Also a play on no show, cause anyone that needs a knowshow has no show common sense.
Warnmenot
Created by: beardo
Pronunciation: Worn me not
Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.
Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont
Sadvice
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sad vice
Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?
Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)
Dulliterature
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: dull-LIT-er-uh-chur
Sentence: When she saw the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, amd the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Stephanie was once again reminded of all the dulliturature she'd encountered on other similar (usually imported) products.
Etymology: Blend of 'dull' (mentally slow; lacking brightness of mind; somewhat stupid; obtuse) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material, as circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)
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COMMENTS:
Dullectable - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 22:01:00
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Lobotohowto
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To
Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.
Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.
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COMMENTS:
Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00
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Duhrections
Created by: libertybelle
Pronunciation: duh-reck-shuns
Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparently all of the visitors to my emergency room that come in with missing fingers due to doing just that failed to read the clearly marked duhrections on the side of the machine.
Etymology: duh + directions
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COMMENTS:
This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00
This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00
Very good!! - Mustang, 2008-11-05: 19:49:00
Duhlightful! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:58:00
But duh snow wasn't coming out! Love your word! - artr, 2008-11-06: 07:46:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James