Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dim-struhk-shuh n

Sentence: Many products come with dimstructions, directions that are so obvious or illconceived that most people don't even bother to read them.

Etymology: dim (not clear to the mind) + instruction (knowledge or information imparted)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: stu/plic/it

Sentence: The warning label on the glass bottle was completely stuplicit; "Do not eat the bottle".

Etymology: stupid + explicit

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad vice

Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?

Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Guy-dunce

Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!

Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce

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COMMENTS:

Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00

Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00

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Created by: denise

Pronunciation: DUM-struc-shun

Sentence: Poor girl. Due to her nervousness over her first Thanksgiving dinner, she skipped over the dumbstructions clearly written on the turkey which specifically said, "remove turkey from plastic covering and dispose of the plastic covering in the nearest garbage container. Then insert hand in body of turkey and remove inner bag which contains inner organs before putting turkey in oven..."

Etymology: A blend of dumb (stupid, not able to figure out the obvious) and instructions (a set of steps or rules one follows)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dədirekshənz

Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!

Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: stoo-pi-speak

Sentence: Nowdays, everything comes with stupispeak labeling.

Etymology: a combo of stupid and speak

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To

Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.

Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dim/wi/tur/i/chur

Sentence: Sally was an English professor and had no trouble reading the classics. She was, however, totally incapable of understanding the dimwiterature on product instructions.

Etymology: dim wit + literature

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COMMENTS:

i can welate to that! - galwaywegian, 2008-11-05: 10:02:00

Excellent! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 12:10:00

great word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:42:00

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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