Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
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Dumbstructions
Created by: denise
Pronunciation: DUM-struc-shun
Sentence: Poor girl. Due to her nervousness over her first Thanksgiving dinner, she skipped over the dumbstructions clearly written on the turkey which specifically said, "remove turkey from plastic covering and dispose of the plastic covering in the nearest garbage container. Then insert hand in body of turkey and remove inner bag which contains inner organs before putting turkey in oven..."
Etymology: A blend of dumb (stupid, not able to figure out the obvious) and instructions (a set of steps or rules one follows)
Idiotag
Created by: Kazizzle
Pronunciation: ih/dee/oh/tahg
Sentence: Marie was rolling on the ground laughing after seeing this idiotag on a pack of matches: "Danger - Fire Kills Children".
Etymology: idiot - A common term for a person of low general intelligence and tag - A small label.
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COMMENTS:
Good word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-09: 03:52:00
Gonna use this word a lot! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 14:08:00
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Warnmenot
Created by: beardo
Pronunciation: Worn me not
Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.
Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont
Dimwiterature
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: dim/wi/tur/i/chur
Sentence: Sally was an English professor and had no trouble reading the classics. She was, however, totally incapable of understanding the dimwiterature on product instructions.
Etymology: dim wit + literature
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COMMENTS:
i can welate to that! - galwaywegian, 2008-11-05: 10:02:00
Excellent! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 12:10:00
great word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:42:00
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Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Duhlabel
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dəlābəl
Sentence: As Jerry got ready for work he noticed that everything he picked up had a duhlabel on it, from the shampoo he wasn't supposed to drink to the electric appliances that were not to join him in the tub; from the razor that was a hazard because it was sharp to the Q-tip that wasn't intended to go in his ear (then why are they shaped like that?) He wondered to himself just how anybody could get safely through their day without these "pearls of wisdom". Of course, Jerry might be a bit slow. It took him 38 years to notice them in the first place.
Etymology: duh (exclamation: used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + label (a small piece of paper, fabric, plastic, or similar material attached to an object and giving information about)
Dimstruction
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dim-struhk-shuh n
Sentence: Many products come with dimstructions, directions that are so obvious or illconceived that most people don't even bother to read them.
Etymology: dim (not clear to the mind) + instruction (knowledge or information imparted)
Klutztructions
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/
Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.
Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")
Ninnyguide
Created by: logarithm
Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd
Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.
Idiotified
Created by: tituba
Pronunciation: i di ot ti fied
Sentence: The lady was idiotified when she used her hairdryer in the shower.
Etymology: id iot i fied dumb in the brain
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James