Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Duhrections
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dədirekshənz
Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!
Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)
Duhlabel
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: dəlābəl
Sentence: As Jerry got ready for work he noticed that everything he picked up had a duhlabel on it, from the shampoo he wasn't supposed to drink to the electric appliances that were not to join him in the tub; from the razor that was a hazard because it was sharp to the Q-tip that wasn't intended to go in his ear (then why are they shaped like that?) He wondered to himself just how anybody could get safely through their day without these "pearls of wisdom". Of course, Jerry might be a bit slow. It took him 38 years to notice them in the first place.
Etymology: duh (exclamation: used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + label (a small piece of paper, fabric, plastic, or similar material attached to an object and giving information about)
Stupispeak
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: stoo-pi-speak
Sentence: Nowdays, everything comes with stupispeak labeling.
Etymology: a combo of stupid and speak
Guidunce
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Guy-dunce
Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!
Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce
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COMMENTS:
Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00
Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00
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Klutztructions
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/
Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.
Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")
Lobotohowto
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To
Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.
Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.
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COMMENTS:
Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00
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Stuffover
Created by: avklive
Pronunciation:
Sentence: Oh, again this exclamation sign attracts attention to this stuffover.
Etymology: To stuff the instructions with exuberant and obvious concepts.
Duhrections
Created by: zebrahdh
Pronunciation: duh/rec/shuns
Sentence: I can't get this pen to write, without looking at the duhrections.
Etymology: um... duh?
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COMMENTS:
a word so good i can't even come up with anything right now - i'm infected by your word! - libertybelle, 2008-01-08: 08:41:00
great - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-08: 12:08:00
Too good! - bananabender, 2008-01-08: 18:56:00
Oh, this one's perfect! - Tigger, 2008-01-09: 20:28:00
"That's the way duh like it!" - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 14:06:00
Thanks everyone! - zebrahdh, 2008-01-13: 22:03:00
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Caveabsurdigious
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous
Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.
Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James