Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: dil-LURT-iv

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the dillertive on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." However, he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages for not putting a more meaningful clodicil on the cup.

Etymology: DILL: a fool, dillbrain, dunderhead; dill a cognate of dull; LERT from Alert: a warning or alarm against impending danger & IVE: suffix meaning having a tendency to, having the quality, character or nature of. consider woprds such as captive, derivative, objective.

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COMMENTS:

love clodicil too - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:58:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: duh rek shuns

Sentence: He normally followed all the duhrections, so when his newly acquired driving licence told him to tear along the dotted line....

Etymology: directions duh

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COMMENTS:

I\'ve seen a bunch of these guys out on the road. Nice! - artr, 2010-04-05: 07:25:00

Duhlicious word - Nosila, 2010-04-06: 00:14:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz

Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.

Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns

Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".

Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)

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COMMENTS:

Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00

No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous

Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.

Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits

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Created by: tituba

Pronunciation: i di ot ti fied

Sentence: The lady was idiotified when she used her hairdryer in the shower.

Etymology: id iot i fied dumb in the brain

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Created by: Kazizzle

Pronunciation: ih/dee/oh/tahg

Sentence: Marie was rolling on the ground laughing after seeing this idiotag on a pack of matches: "Danger - Fire Kills Children".

Etymology: idiot - A common term for a person of low general intelligence and tag - A small label.

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COMMENTS:

Good word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-09: 03:52:00

Gonna use this word a lot! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-11: 14:08:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To

Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.

Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: duh-reck-shuns

Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparently all of the visitors to my emergency room that come in with missing fingers due to doing just that failed to read the clearly marked duhrections on the side of the machine.

Etymology: duh + directions

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COMMENTS:

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

Very good!! - Mustang, 2008-11-05: 19:49:00

Duhlightful! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:58:00

But duh snow wasn't coming out! Love your word! - artr, 2008-11-06: 07:46:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dəlābəl

Sentence: As Jerry got ready for work he noticed that everything he picked up had a duhlabel on it, from the shampoo he wasn't supposed to drink to the electric appliances that were not to join him in the tub; from the razor that was a hazard because it was sharp to the Q-tip that wasn't intended to go in his ear (then why are they shaped like that?) He wondered to himself just how anybody could get safely through their day without these "pearls of wisdom". Of course, Jerry might be a bit slow. It took him 38 years to notice them in the first place.

Etymology: duh (exclamation: used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + label (a small piece of paper, fabric, plastic, or similar material attached to an object and giving information about)

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