Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: n., A set of product instructions, or a warning label, which is so obviously self-evident that it should be completely unnecessary. v., To provide unneeded directions, advice and/or warnings.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Duhliterature
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: duh-lit-er-eh-shur
Sentence: Reading the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, and the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Wanda was again reminded of all the duhliturature she'd encountered on other similar products.
Etymology: Blend of 'duh' (used derisively to indicate that something just stated is all too obvious or self-evident) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material such as labels, circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)
Qeduh
Created by: CDH167
Pronunciation: kyoo-ee-duh
Sentence: "Do not lick blade while chainsaw is running? QEDuh!"
Etymology: 'QED' from (quod erat demonstrandum), a phrased used at the end of a logical proof, Latin for 'ta-da!' + 'duh,' onomatopeic ignorance
Idiotlawsuitprecaut
Created by: gemmgemms
Pronunciation: id-ee-aht-la-soot-pree-caht
Sentence: No one wants to be slapped with an easily prevented lawsuit. Use an idiotlawsuitprecaut on your product.
Etymology: idiot+lawsuit+precaution
Redundinstructions
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns
Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".
Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)
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COMMENTS:
Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00
No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00
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Sadvice
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: sad vice
Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?
Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)
Warnmenot
Created by: beardo
Pronunciation: Worn me not
Sentence: Kyle warnmenoted the instructions because he did not want to waste his time with common sense stuff.
Etymology: warn-inform, me-me, not- dont
Dillertive
Created by: OZZIEBOB
Pronunciation: dil-LURT-iv
Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the dillertive on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." However, he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages for not putting a more meaningful clodicil on the cup.
Etymology: DILL: a fool, dillbrain, dunderhead; dill a cognate of dull; LERT from Alert: a warning or alarm against impending danger & IVE: suffix meaning having a tendency to, having the quality, character or nature of. consider woprds such as captive, derivative, objective.
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COMMENTS:
love clodicil too - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:58:00
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Guidunce
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Guy-dunce
Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!
Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce
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COMMENTS:
Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00
Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00
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Dimstructions
Created by: Dougalistic
Pronunciation: Dim-struct-shuns
Sentence: That's a bit of an obvious dimstruction
Etymology: Dim & Instruction
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COMMENTS:
nice combo - silveryaspen, 2008-01-08: 13:20:00
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Idiobligatome
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: IDDIO-blig-uh-tome
Sentence: ERIKA the Red was a good consumer. Whenever she purchased a new product, she diligently sent in the warranty card and saved the original packing, even though it filled her garage completely. Erika refused to even plug in an appliance until she had carefully read the IDIOBLIGATOME from cover to cover, including the upside-down part printed in Portugese. Erika devoted a five drawer file cabinet to her collection of preposterous pamphlets, superfluous booklets and imbecilic instructions. Recalcitrant by nature, she nonetheless struggled to heed every warning after translating them into Engrish. Fearful of voiding a warranty, she unplugged everything at the first sign of a thunderstorm, and refused to operate her pool filter near liquids of any kind. Ironically, Erika didn't read the fine print on the IDIOBLIGATOME which accompanied her variable-rate mortgage...now she lives in her Volvo station wagon behind the Wal-Mart.
Etymology: IDIOt+oBLIGATory+tOME=IDIOBLIGATOME....IDIOT:usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation,a foolish or stupid person;Middle English, from Anglo-French ydiote, from Latin idiota ignorant person, from Greek idiōtēs one in a private station, layman, ignorant person, from idios one's own, private; akin to Latin suus one's own.....OBLIGATORY:to constrain by physical, moral, or legal force or by the threat of litigation ;Middle English, from Anglo-French obliger, from Latin obligare, literally, to bind to, from ob- toward + ligare to bind.....TOME:a volume forming part of a larger work, a huge or infernally detailed book; Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin tomus, from Greek tomos section, roll of papyrus, tome, from temnein to cut; akin to Middle Irish tamnaid he lops, Polish ciąć to cut, and perhaps to Latin tondēre to shear.
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COMMENTS:
I guess nobody ever checks out these links, but this one is highly recommended:
http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/hall/main.php
- metrohumanx, 2008-11-05: 06:09:00
Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:50:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2008-01-09: 03:47:00
Great word!
Today's definition was suggested by yellowbird. Thank you yellowbird. ~ James