Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re duh n dants

Sentence: The instructions for the new hairdryer Millie bought were a bunch of reduhndants in her mind. "Point at wet hair" & "Blow until dry" seemed self-evident to her. Too bad they forgot the old "Don't plug in near water" instruction, declared the EMT sent in response to Millie's roommate's 911 call...

Etymology: Redundance (more than is needed, desired, or required;use of more words than required/necessary to express an idea) & Duh (Used to express disdain for something deemed stupid or obvious, especially a self-evident remark)

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: IDDIO-blig-uh-tome

Sentence: ERIKA the Red was a good consumer. Whenever she purchased a new product, she diligently sent in the warranty card and saved the original packing, even though it filled her garage completely. Erika refused to even plug in an appliance until she had carefully read the IDIOBLIGATOME from cover to cover, including the upside-down part printed in Portugese. Erika devoted a five drawer file cabinet to her collection of preposterous pamphlets, superfluous booklets and imbecilic instructions. Recalcitrant by nature, she nonetheless struggled to heed every warning after translating them into Engrish. Fearful of voiding a warranty, she unplugged everything at the first sign of a thunderstorm, and refused to operate her pool filter near liquids of any kind. Ironically, Erika didn't read the fine print on the IDIOBLIGATOME which accompanied her variable-rate mortgage...now she lives in her Volvo station wagon behind the Wal-Mart.

Etymology: IDIOt+oBLIGATory+tOME=IDIOBLIGATOME....IDIOT:usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation,a foolish or stupid person;Middle English, from Anglo-French ydiote, from Latin idiota ignorant person, from Greek idiōtēs one in a private station, layman, ignorant person, from idios one's own, private; akin to Latin suus one's own.....OBLIGATORY:to constrain by physical, moral, or legal force or by the threat of litigation ;Middle English, from Anglo-French obliger, from Latin obligare, literally, to bind to, from ob- toward + ligare to bind.....TOME:a volume forming part of a larger work, a huge or infernally detailed book; Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin tomus, from Greek tomos section, roll of papyrus, tome, from temnein to cut; akin to Middle Irish tamnaid he lops, Polish ciąć to cut, and perhaps to Latin tondēre to shear.

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COMMENTS:

I guess nobody ever checks out these links, but this one is highly recommended: http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/hall/main.php - metrohumanx, 2008-11-05: 06:09:00

Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:50:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: duh rek shuns

Sentence: He normally followed all the duhrections, so when his newly acquired driving licence told him to tear along the dotted line....

Etymology: directions duh

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COMMENTS:

I\'ve seen a bunch of these guys out on the road. Nice! - artr, 2010-04-05: 07:25:00

Duhlicious word - Nosila, 2010-04-06: 00:14:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: Low + Bot + To + How + To

Sentence: As Howard opened the box and plugged in his new electric can opener, he noiced a small booklet, which he identified as another lobotohowto. It offered the usual helpful hints such as "do not put fingers near sharp moving blades", "do not use to open hazardous materials", "do not put in dishwasher" and finally, "do not use to cut out coupons". He wondered how many hands, fingers, knees and toes had been saved by these little tidbits.

Etymology: Lobotomy is added to "how-to" (a set of instructions or manual) to yield a booklet or pamphlet of instructions meant for someone who has had sections of their brain removed.

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COMMENTS:

Love it! - metrohumanx, 2008-11-06: 23:48:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Re - dun - dunse

Sentence: Beatrice was annoyed that the manufacturer considered her a redundunce by including instructions on the hair dryer warning against using while sleeping.

Etymology: Redundant + dunce

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COMMENTS:

Great creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-08: 13:18:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dədirekshənz

Sentence: There are directions on products that make sense. Then there are duhrections that pluck at the nerves of the consumers who use them. ”Do not take internally” on shampoo; ”Keep hands and feet clear of spinning blade” on a lawn mower; ”contents may be hot” on a cup of coffee; DUHrections!

Etymology: duh (used to comment on an action perceived as foolish or stupid) + directions (instructions on how to reach a destination or about how to do something)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: stu/plic/it

Sentence: The warning label on the glass bottle was completely stuplicit; "Do not eat the bottle".

Etymology: STUPLICIT - from STUPID (foolish; senseless) + EXPLICIT (obvious, unequivocal)

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COMMENTS:

Neat & nice. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:52:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns

Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".

Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)

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COMMENTS:

Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00

No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stoop if loo us

Sentence: LuLu thought it ironic that when she bought a simple item like a comb for her hair, it came with lengthy instructions. Unwrap plastic around comb, place on top if head and pull through hair to detangle and smooth it. It was too bad that these stupifluous instructions did not come with furniture that needed assembly. Either the only clue to assembly was a simple diagram without enough detail or something written in Swedish. And don't get her started about those instructions that were very badly translated into English...they would have been clearer in their original lingo!

Etymology: Stupid (without much intelligence) & Superflous (more than is needed, desired, or required;extra;unnecessary)

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COMMENTS:

and it\'s fun to say. - artr, 2010-04-05: 12:08:00

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: nĭn'ē-gahyd

Sentence: Examples of ninnyguides: ON A HAIRDRYER: *Do not use while sleeping. ON A BAG OF FRITOS: *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: *Directions: Use like regular soap. FROZEN DINNER SERVING SUGGESTION: *Defrost. ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: *Fits one head. ON TESCO'S TIRAMISU DESSERT: *Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING: *Product will be hot after heating. ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON: *Do not Iron clothes on body. ON BOOTS CHILDREN'S COUGH MEDICINE: *Do not drive car or operate machinery. ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID): *Warning: May cause drowsiness. ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE: *Warning: Keep out of children. ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: *For indoor or outdoor use only. ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR: *Not to be used for the other use. ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS: *Warning: contains nuts. ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS: *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW: *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

Etymology: From 'ninny' - a stupid foolish person, and 'guide' - something that offers basic information or instruction. It means foolish instructions for the fools.

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