Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dim-struhk-shuh n

Sentence: Many products come with dimstructions, directions that are so obvious or illconceived that most people don't even bother to read them.

Etymology: dim (not clear to the mind) + instruction (knowledge or information imparted)

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Created by: tituba

Pronunciation: i di ot ti fied

Sentence: The lady was idiotified when she used her hairdryer in the shower.

Etymology: id iot i fied dumb in the brain

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Guy-dunce

Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!

Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce

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COMMENTS:

Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00

Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dull-LIT-er-uh-chur

Sentence: When she saw the instructions on her hair dryer warning her not to use it while sleeping or in the shower, amd the notation on the package of chips to 'open package, eat chips' Stephanie was once again reminded of all the dulliturature she'd encountered on other similar (usually imported) products.

Etymology: Blend of 'dull' (mentally slow; lacking brightness of mind; somewhat stupid; obtuse) and 'literature' (any kind of printed material, as circulars, leaflets, or handbills etc)

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COMMENTS:

Dullectable - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 22:01:00

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Created by: markhoward91

Pronunciation: warning/un/need/ed

Sentence: Dude, don't jump off a cliff. Warningunneeded.

Etymology:

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: dil-LURT-iv

Sentence: Bob fell into an uncontrollable fit of laughter when he noticed that the dillertive on his cup of coffee read: "CONTENTS ARE HOT." However, he laughed so much that he spilled the contents over his hands, and now is suing the coffee shop owner for damages for not putting a more meaningful clodicil on the cup.

Etymology: DILL: a fool, dillbrain, dunderhead; dill a cognate of dull; LERT from Alert: a warning or alarm against impending danger & IVE: suffix meaning having a tendency to, having the quality, character or nature of. consider woprds such as captive, derivative, objective.

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COMMENTS:

love clodicil too - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:58:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: IDDIO-blig-uh-tome

Sentence: ERIKA the Red was a good consumer. Whenever she purchased a new product, she diligently sent in the warranty card and saved the original packing, even though it filled her garage completely. Erika refused to even plug in an appliance until she had carefully read the IDIOBLIGATOME from cover to cover, including the upside-down part printed in Portugese. Erika devoted a five drawer file cabinet to her collection of preposterous pamphlets, superfluous booklets and imbecilic instructions. Recalcitrant by nature, she nonetheless struggled to heed every warning after translating them into Engrish. Fearful of voiding a warranty, she unplugged everything at the first sign of a thunderstorm, and refused to operate her pool filter near liquids of any kind. Ironically, Erika didn't read the fine print on the IDIOBLIGATOME which accompanied her variable-rate mortgage...now she lives in her Volvo station wagon behind the Wal-Mart.

Etymology: IDIOt+oBLIGATory+tOME=IDIOBLIGATOME....IDIOT:usually offensive : a person affected with extreme mental retardation,a foolish or stupid person;Middle English, from Anglo-French ydiote, from Latin idiota ignorant person, from Greek idiōtēs one in a private station, layman, ignorant person, from idios one's own, private; akin to Latin suus one's own.....OBLIGATORY:to constrain by physical, moral, or legal force or by the threat of litigation ;Middle English, from Anglo-French obliger, from Latin obligare, literally, to bind to, from ob- toward + ligare to bind.....TOME:a volume forming part of a larger work, a huge or infernally detailed book; Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin tomus, from Greek tomos section, roll of papyrus, tome, from temnein to cut; akin to Middle Irish tamnaid he lops, Polish ciąć to cut, and perhaps to Latin tondēre to shear.

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COMMENTS:

I guess nobody ever checks out these links, but this one is highly recommended: http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/hall/main.php - metrohumanx, 2008-11-05: 06:09:00

Good word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:50:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: stoop if loo us

Sentence: LuLu thought it ironic that when she bought a simple item like a comb for her hair, it came with lengthy instructions. Unwrap plastic around comb, place on top if head and pull through hair to detangle and smooth it. It was too bad that these stupifluous instructions did not come with furniture that needed assembly. Either the only clue to assembly was a simple diagram without enough detail or something written in Swedish. And don't get her started about those instructions that were very badly translated into English...they would have been clearer in their original lingo!

Etymology: Stupid (without much intelligence) & Superflous (more than is needed, desired, or required;extra;unnecessary)

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COMMENTS:

and it\'s fun to say. - artr, 2010-04-05: 12:08:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ree dun din struk shuns

Sentence: One of the main problems with globalization (besides losing jobs in developed countries) is that buying manufactured goods abroad leaves you at the mercy of the person translating the directions for use into the English language. One such example of these redundinstructions was a little plastic kitchen tool Henry bought called a Real Remon Sqweezer. Written on a piece of paper inside the little box containing this tool were the words: "Push tool inside the lemon's skin and turn the apple right until the orange juice comes running out of the onion. Wash off tool before seizing another fruit".

Etymology: Redundant ( more than is needed, desired, or required;repetition of same sense in different words; superfluous) & Instructions ( a manual usually accompanying a technical device and explaining how to install or operate it)

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COMMENTS:

Oh man. I didn't see this one. Either we did it simultaneously or, dang, I need to drain some more of that morning oil. - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:48:00

No problem,z, great minds think alike!! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:41:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: stoo-pi-speak

Sentence: Nowdays, everything comes with stupispeak labeling.

Etymology: a combo of stupid and speak

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