Verboticisms

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: duh-reck-shuns

Sentence: It seems evident to me that one shouldn't place their bare hand directly into a running snow blower, but apparently all of the visitors to my emergency room that come in with missing fingers due to doing just that failed to read the clearly marked duhrections on the side of the machine.

Etymology: duh + directions

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COMMENTS:

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

This is perfect - zxvasdf, 2008-11-05: 10:46:00

Very good!! - Mustang, 2008-11-05: 19:49:00

Duhlightful! - Nosila, 2008-11-05: 21:58:00

But duh snow wasn't coming out! Love your word! - artr, 2008-11-06: 07:46:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Re - dun - dunse

Sentence: Beatrice was annoyed that the manufacturer considered her a redundunce by including instructions on the hair dryer warning against using while sleeping.

Etymology: Redundant + dunce

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COMMENTS:

Great creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-08: 13:18:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /kluht-struk-shuhns/

Sentence: The klutztructions that came with Donna's toaster said not to use a knife to pry out the toast if it got stuck, so she shrugged and grabbed a fork instead.

Etymology: klutz - a stupid or foolish person(from Yiddish, klots "clumsy person") + instructions (from Latin, instructus "to put in order")

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Created by: denise

Pronunciation: DUM-struc-shun

Sentence: Poor girl. Due to her nervousness over her first Thanksgiving dinner, she skipped over the dumbstructions clearly written on the turkey which specifically said, "remove turkey from plastic covering and dispose of the plastic covering in the nearest garbage container. Then insert hand in body of turkey and remove inner bag which contains inner organs before putting turkey in oven..."

Etymology: A blend of dumb (stupid, not able to figure out the obvious) and instructions (a set of steps or rules one follows)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dim/wi/tur/i/chur

Sentence: Sally was an English professor and had no trouble reading the classics. She was, however, totally incapable of understanding the dimwiterature on product instructions.

Etymology: dim wit + literature

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COMMENTS:

i can welate to that! - galwaywegian, 2008-11-05: 10:02:00

Excellent! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 12:10:00

great word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-05: 15:42:00

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Guy-dunce

Sentence: When Tom bought a tin of gloss paint to brighten up his front door he was amazed at the guidunce given, when he read on the back of the label, 'WARNING' 'Do not eat contents'. He wondered how long it had taken the production team to come up with that little gem!

Etymology: Guidance(Advice,information) + Dunce(a person who is slow to learn, or not intelligent) = Guidunce

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COMMENTS:

Was he licking the paint off his finger at the time? - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-05: 14:57:00

Ha Ha. No but he ate the brush when he finished, that didn't come with instructions! - TJayzz, 2008-11-05: 16:21:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: kah-vey-ab-sur-di-gous

Sentence: The folks in legal, being highly tagmatic, applied caveabsurdigious directions to every product to protect the company from lawsuits that may come due to accidents or death by stupidity.

Etymology: caveat: legalese term for warning, caution; an explanation or qualification + absurd:ridiculously unreasonable or illogical + litigious: tending to engage in lawsuits

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: binstrəkshənz

Sentence: Many products come with grinstructions, directions that are so ludicrous that you have to laugh. Others, especially those from power tools, have grimstructions with their graphic depictions of severed limbs. Ultimately all are binstructions, destined or a quick trip to the recycle container.

Etymology: bin (a receptacle in which to deposit trash or recyclables) + instructions (detailed information telling how something should be done, operated, or assembled)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: heed full things

Sentence: Sandy was in for a shock because she failed to believe the heedfulthings written on her blowdryer!

Etymology: heedful things (like needful things)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sad vice

Sentence: When self-evident, oxymoron warnings on packaging actually are needed for some dumb people, it is actually sadvice. But then again, why do they put electrical outlets beside showers in bathrooms anyway?

Etymology: Sad (pathetic,bad,unfortunate) & Advice (a proposal for an appropriate course of action)

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