Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gye browz

Sentence: Most men hate shopping and even worse hate waiting while someone they are with shops. Mark was no exception and when his wife Lana dragged him to the store to wait for her to try on some new fashions, he took that waiting opportunity to guybrowse in other departments. When Lana finished shopping in a department store, armed with lots of bags and boxes, she then would waste half an hour looking for Mark. Invariably she'd find him sampling free food; catching up on the latest thought-provoking articles in Playboy Magazine; watching a big screen TV football game or trying out the latest Lazyboy recliner. She often wished that the stores would smarten up and copy an idea of Harrod's. They had a lounge area similar to a gentleman's club, with comfy wingback chairs set in a room with television and newspapers, serving cold ale to waiting guybrows. It was like a nursery for men.

Etymology: Guy (male;an informal term for a youth or man) & Browse (look around casually and randomly, without seeking anything in particular;shop around; not necessarily buying) & rhyming with: Eyebrows (the arch of hair above each eye...when raised it acts as an unspoken question (Are you really buying that?)

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COMMENTS:

You never let us down, Nosila. Mark had a lot of nerve- I would NEVER break with protocol and drft away from the store entrance... - metrohumanx, 2008-08-27: 00:58:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-27: 16:05:00

How true. It takes years of practice to become a champion guybrowser. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-28: 00:53:00

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Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: mahl-uhn-kuhl-eee

Sentence: Dave went mallancholy as he stood holding Debra's handbag at the Emasculation Station outlet store.

Etymology: mall + melancholy

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 11:50:00

Seems as if Dave got himself into a eunuch predickament. Might decide to keep the handbag! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-26: 22:19:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: shop-pur-FUNKSHO-rate

Sentence: Bob is not an optimist, he never double parks while Roxie is shopping. All he hopes for, as he shoperfunctorates, is that Roxie's feet will start to hurt before his wallet does. And when she's seriously shoprocrasty, he never ridicules her or becomes boutique-piqued, but remains mart-smart even when she tries on a dozen dresses and an imelda of shoes.

Etymology: Blend of shop & perfunctorate: done merely to get rid of the duty, performed mechanically, by rote, superficially. Cognates: Shoperfunctory, Shoperfunctoriness.

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COMMENTS:

I love boutique-piqued and the imelda of shoes - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-26: 10:46:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: mas/ter/weyt

Sentence: To keep her happy, he goes along shopping and will masterwait patiently while she tries on every pair of shoes in the store.

Etymology: master (of course she is this) + wait

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COMMENTS:

Oh geez, I just now "got it"! Funny! - purpleartichokes, 2007-09-26: 11:55:00

Ah you beat me to it!! >:) Voting now. - joelb, 2007-09-26: 21:55:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: SLO-mad

Sentence: As Tom wandered from store to store waiting for his wife to finish her shopping he became just one more slowmad, looking over each item as if he really cared, fending off sales clerks with the slowmad's mantra "Just looking". He also knew that this activity was slowly driving him stark-raving mad. He could feel his sanity slipping away with each step he took. The last thing he wanted to become was a husbutt-parker — those old men who take up every inch of available bench space vacantly staring into space while a mound of packages accumulates at their feet.

Etymology: Slow (Very not fast) + nomad (a desert wanderer)

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COMMENTS:

RIGHT ON! Great sentence, artr. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:03:00

Slowmad reminds me of Strongbad. http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:38:00

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Created by: astorey

Pronunciation: lye-a-round

Sentence: Tom didn't know why Mindy was so eager for his validation when she was buying clothes, but he had long since become accustomed to his role...he needed to liearound the dressing room, saying encouraging--though not completely honest-- things things like "No you're butt doesn't look fat" or "I don't think that black dress looks too much like your other black dress."

Etymology: lie in two senses--to not tell the truth and to lounge; around in the sense of either prevaricating or lounging in proximity to the shopping.

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gape.shunt

Sentence: Willard knew the routine as a practiced gapetient: wait outside the dressing rooms, holding the clothes his wife couldn't take in. After she had tried on all her selected items (several trips back and forth), pinched her cellulite while staring into the mirrors until she was bruised, she would appear and say there wasn't a thing she could use. Yes, he had suffered all these years with great gapetience. All this because he had thought she was the cutest car hop at Bob's Big Boy in Glendale in 1963.

Etymology: combination of gape, to stare with mouth open wide + patient, uncomplaining endurace or as well, a person undergoing treatment for disease!

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COMMENTS:

Beautiful writing...and hilarious.Thanks RW - metrohumanx, 2008-08-28: 03:29:00

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: guy-browz

Sentence: every time his wife took clothes into the change rooms he would wander awkwardly around the store, trying to guybrowse without drawing attention to himself

Etymology: guy, browse, eyebrows

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Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: man-SHOW-pause

Sentence: William casually browsed through the spring fashions trying to look manly while taking a manshopause holding his wife's purse as she tried on the new dresses.

Etymology: Man+ shop + (meno)pause

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COMMENTS:

very nice - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 17:22:00

Funny stuff! - cfinleyca, 2007-09-26: 19:30:00

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Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: ˈkash trāt

Sentence: Leonard always felt cashtrated at the mall whilst his girlfriend Amanda took charge of his credit card and tossed him like a hangar in the dressing home

Etymology: cash ( currency, money) + castrate (to emasculate, deprive vigor)

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COMMENTS:

That's why they call money geld! - Nosila, 2012-11-02: 19:27:00

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