Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: cone iffer oshus

Sentence: Douglas Fir was a mild-mannered sap. His bark was certainly worse than his bite. He ran a Branch Office for his company and struggled to maintain profitability. Out of frustration, he ran for local politics and was elected. He was a coniferocious campaigner. People always used him to get votes and persuade the policymakers, but Doug would have no such influence. He just wanted to be the town Christmas Tree and light up peoples' lives. The only problem he had was that he shed a few thousand needles a day and when Christmas was finally over, he was a stick with lights on him. Needleless to say, his detractors who were larchly the undeciduous voters,would plant false stories about him in the cyPress. Despite what they said, he campaigned for the EverGreen Party. He was a tree Fir the People!

Etymology: conifer ( any gymnospermous tree or shrub bearing cones) & ferocious (marked by extreme and violent energy)

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COMMENTS:

Tree-mendous avalanche of chuckles, N! - metrohumanx, 2008-12-18: 17:39:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PEST-tuh-klawz

Sentence: When Bob hadn't left Christmas celebrations at the home of Roxie's parents by New Year's day, her family decided that it was time to look for ways to kinstirpate this perdurable pestaclaus.

Etymology: PESTACLAUS: blend of pest & Santa Claus. KINSTIRPATE: (kin & extirpate)-not my word: source??

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:36:00

I'm a fan of Kinstirpate, but maybe it should be (kin + constipate), i.e. like when you can get the kin-folk to leave, your house is kinstirpated. - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:34:00

Ah, I meant "like when you _can't_ get the kin-folk to leave..." - Tigger, 2007-12-17: 23:36:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon if fer men tay shun

Sentence: It started the moment the Christmas Tree and the In-laws had arrived at the same time, a week before Christmas. The conifirmentation process. Tree needles everywhere and verbal needles about the food, the decor, the drinks, the gift choices, etc. At least the fir needles knew when to depart the host branch, unlike the In-laws, who thought that all could benefit from their "suggestions" and constructive criticism. "Next Year", she said to her husband, "We buy the air tickets for them and make sure that they are only here for a few days, not the current one month long visit!" Houseguests, as they say, are like fish...after a few days they start to smell.

Etymology: Conifer (any gymnospermous tree or shrub bearing cones) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; often used for Christmas Trees) & Fermentation ( a process in which an agent causes an organic substance to break down into simpler substances; especially, the anaerobic breakdown of sugar into alcohol;be in an agitated or excited state;go sour or spoil)

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: holly dazed

Sentence: Like a good shepard, we watered the flock on our tree. Yet, flocks of needles fell to the floor. Prickly pairs of party animals, all spruced up, rollicked fir hours, drooping into the pine droppings. They eventually decked the halls, wherever they fell, not even aroused by herds of belles. All (people and trees) were thoroughly holidazed.

Etymology: Holidays, Dazed

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COMMENTS:

Clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-18: 04:11:00

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Created by: gemmgemms

Pronunciation: pest-ee-nee-da-lers

Sentence: She noticed a few pestyneedlers over by the booze and headed off to prevent a prickly situation.

Etymology: pesty:annoying or well pestersome + needle:prickles

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Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: pahyl-muhng-kee

Sentence: Ouch! I stepped on another pilemonkey. I thought we got all of those pine needles out of the carpet. ... Dan became a pilemonkey after he got drunk at our New Years party, and slept it off wrapped in the carpet from our foyer.

Etymology: pile: as in carpte pile + Monkey: a person likened to such an animal, as a mischievous, agile child or a mimic. OR Monkey: a burdensome problem, situation, hindrance.

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COMMENTS:

will you need a pilemonkotomy to get the needle out? - tonii, 2007-12-17: 22:56:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ef ir af ter

Sentence: Once upon a time there was a prince and princess who made the mistake of getting a real tree on their first Christmas together. One of the things that keeps them together still is finding and vacuuming tree needles,all year long, happily efirafter.

Etymology: Everafter (from now on, to eternity) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fir en siks

Sentence: It was time to call in Lt. Horatio "Eye Candy" Cane. You know...he of the red hair, straight face and cool sunglasses. His team would soon figure out where the infestation of green needles was coming from. Christmas was 6 months ago, so where was the source? Pulling off his cool shades and standing with hands on hip, the lieutenant said that the trail of firensics evidence lead to a bag in the garage, covered in dead boughs and green plastic. The ghost of Christmas Tree past.

Etymology: Fir (coniferous tree, often used a Christmas tree) & Forensics (relating to the use of scientific methods to solve crimes and to find out who committed them...the evidence the gathers to prove criminal activity)

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Fest-y-lence

Sentence: Joe was sick and tired of pulling pine needles out of his socks, tinsel from his jackets and various other christmas detritus from his clothes and furniture. The rug was hopeless, having been unceremoniously rolled up by an intoxicated friend who was himself a vexmastation (vexxing xmas infestation) and who had proceeded to topple the christmas tree and scatter needles, baubles, tinsel and lights asunder. 'Tis the season of festilence', he thought to himself as he vacuumed the rug again.

Etymology: Festive - of the season and the proliferation of easily dispersed and infesting decorations. The mood and wild abandon with which such infesting objects are dispersed and initially ignored. Pestilence - a nuisance or pest, such as the inevitable pine needles, tinsel, baubles, ribbon, cookie crumbs and scraps of wrapping paper that breed when you're not looking and bedeck the house after the christmas hiatus.

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COMMENTS:

love it - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-18: 14:45:00

Brilliant. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-19: 04:16:00

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Created by: Lingoism

Pronunciation: pahyn-uh-tak

Sentence: Look after your Christmas tree with care if you don't want your home to be the next victim of pinattaque.

Etymology:

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