Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ef ir af ter

Sentence: Once upon a time there was a prince and princess who made the mistake of getting a real tree on their first Christmas together. One of the things that keeps them together still is finding and vacuuming tree needles,all year long, happily efirafter.

Etymology: Everafter (from now on, to eternity) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees)

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Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: pur-muh-need-l

Sentence: She couldn't decide which was worse, the permaneedles that she found stuck in her slippers in June or the obnoxious neighbours that always overstayed their welcome.

Etymology: permanent + needle (as in coniferous tree needles) and (to heckle or tease)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: cone iffer oshus

Sentence: Douglas Fir was a mild-mannered sap. His bark was certainly worse than his bite. He ran a Branch Office for his company and struggled to maintain profitability. Out of frustration, he ran for local politics and was elected. He was a coniferocious campaigner. People always used him to get votes and persuade the policymakers, but Doug would have no such influence. He just wanted to be the town Christmas Tree and light up peoples' lives. The only problem he had was that he shed a few thousand needles a day and when Christmas was finally over, he was a stick with lights on him. Needleless to say, his detractors who were larchly the undeciduous voters,would plant false stories about him in the cyPress. Despite what they said, he campaigned for the EverGreen Party. He was a tree Fir the People!

Etymology: conifer ( any gymnospermous tree or shrub bearing cones) & ferocious (marked by extreme and violent energy)

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COMMENTS:

Tree-mendous avalanche of chuckles, N! - metrohumanx, 2008-12-18: 17:39:00

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /piyn-dem-ik/

Sentence: Since the relatives began arriving more than three weeks before the holidays this year, the tree had to be up early. Now the living room is the source of a widespread pinedemic outbreak, which has spread to every other room in the house, further complicated the inguestation of Christmas visitors, tracking needles everywhere. And we can't even vacuum, because Uncle Frank is still down there under the tree, wrapped in his carpet of rugretfulness — and pine needles.

Etymology: pine - traditional Christmas evergreen (Latin, pīnus) + pandemic - a widespread outbreak (from Greek, pándémos "common" - typical of a disease)

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COMMENTS:

good one - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:35:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2007-12-17: 15:15:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon if fer men tay shun

Sentence: It started the moment the Christmas Tree and the In-laws had arrived at the same time, a week before Christmas. The conifirmentation process. Tree needles everywhere and verbal needles about the food, the decor, the drinks, the gift choices, etc. At least the fir needles knew when to depart the host branch, unlike the In-laws, who thought that all could benefit from their "suggestions" and constructive criticism. "Next Year", she said to her husband, "We buy the air tickets for them and make sure that they are only here for a few days, not the current one month long visit!" Houseguests, as they say, are like fish...after a few days they start to smell.

Etymology: Conifer (any gymnospermous tree or shrub bearing cones) & Fir (any of various evergreen trees of the genus Abies; often used for Christmas Trees) & Fermentation ( a process in which an agent causes an organic substance to break down into simpler substances; especially, the anaerobic breakdown of sugar into alcohol;be in an agitated or excited state;go sour or spoil)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: vel-kroh-neez

Sentence: Jimmy thought it would be nice to throw a Christmas party for his buds. Now it's getting late and he has to work tomorrow but his velcronies just won't take a hint and go home. Even changing into his pajamas didn't do the trick.

Etymology: velcro (tradename for a hook & loop fastener) + cronies (a close friend or companion; chum)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nēdiˈli ng kwənts

Sentence: Joyce didn*t realize when she invited a young tree into her home for the holidays that she was also inviting in needelinquents. These little hooligans had no respect for their elders and made every effort to separate themselves from the bough. They would lodge themselves in the fiber of the carpet and stab passersby with their tiny daggers at every opportunity. Even Hoover, the meanest thug Joyce knew had trouble dislodging these troublemakers. Just when she thought they were gone, she*d find more.

Etymology: needle (the adult leaves of a conifer) + delinquent (typically of a young person or that person*s behavior showing or characterized by a tendency to commit crime, particularly minor crime)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fir en siks

Sentence: It was time to call in Lt. Horatio "Eye Candy" Cane. You know...he of the red hair, straight face and cool sunglasses. His team would soon figure out where the infestation of green needles was coming from. Christmas was 6 months ago, so where was the source? Pulling off his cool shades and standing with hands on hip, the lieutenant said that the trail of firensics evidence lead to a bag in the garage, covered in dead boughs and green plastic. The ghost of Christmas Tree past.

Etymology: Fir (coniferous tree, often used a Christmas tree) & Forensics (relating to the use of scientific methods to solve crimes and to find out who committed them...the evidence the gathers to prove criminal activity)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Tree - de - bree

Sentence: Norman and Leona decided to have an artificial Christmas tree next year after seeing the extraordinary amout of treedebris this year's tree had shed.

Etymology: Tree + debris

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: car-pet-ton-nul-sin-drum

Sentence: Every December, my living room rug gets carpettunnelsyndrome from the tree needles. The rug rasps eventually get vacuumed up or compost by June.

Etymology: carpal tunnel syndrome, carpet, tunnel

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COMMENTS:

Superb! - Mustang, 2007-12-17: 06:09:00

ouch - Jabberwocky, 2007-12-17: 13:37:00

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