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'Thank goodness you walked in!'

DEFINITION: n. The mental state induced by the discovery your new husband, and your maid of honor, entangled in the satin sheets given to you as a wedding present by your grandmother. v. To catch your new husband in a close quarters with a close friend.

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Jigamortis

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: jig-uh-MAWR-tis

Sentence: "Nana! nana!-where are you?" I cried out. The door of Bob's and my bedroom was for some reason closed; but pushing against it I forced it open. My nana lay on the ground. A horrible feeling came over me, - I thought she was dead. On bending down I could find no injury, and I found that she still was breathing, so I trusted that she had only fainted. I sprinkled her face with water, and she shortly after heaved a sigh and opened her eyes. "Is this a hideous dream?" she asked; "and why are Bob and Trixie here wrapped only in the satin sheets I gave you for a wedding present!" "There's nothing to be alarmed about, nana," I answered. "Bob has gone to work and Trixie is holidaying in Far North Queensland" "Oh! go and look for yourself," she said, " I give her FNQ!" Assured that she had fully recovered, I hurried out only to find Bob and Trixie, on all fours and still wrapped in the satin sheets, their clothes in their hands, making their way to the front door. That indeed for me was a miserable sight and jigamortis set in. Nan did her utmost to comfort me. "You haven't got anything to worry about: you better off without them!" exclaimed nan. "So here's a pen and paper; just write a note to them, and get them to send back the satin sheets!"

Etymology: JIGA from jig-a-jig, jig-jig, jiggy-jig, jig-a-jog n. sexual intercourse, often found in (pidgin) slangs & rythming with rigor MORTIS: death's stiffening; in familar terms: numbness, a sense of chilliness.

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COMMENTS:

Great word! The jigs up! - wordmeister, 2008-06-11: 08:45:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-06-11: 12:12:00

love it - Nosila, 2008-06-11: 21:43:00

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Bridegloom

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: bryd - gloom

Sentence: Coming into the honeymoon bedroom with joyful expectations only to find her new husband, Brad, and her best friend Miranda staining grandmas heirloom satin sheets, Samantha first had a hysterical fit followed by a case of very deep and foreboding bridegloom.

Etymology: Blend of bride and gloom, play on the word 'bridegroom'.

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COMMENTS:

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-06-11: 12:13:00

good one... - Nosila, 2008-06-11: 21:40:00

Excellent - OZZIEBOB, 2008-06-12: 08:19:00

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Somethinblue

Created by: Bulletchewer

Pronunciation: Sum-thin-bloo

Sentence: She went somethinblue, a rage beyond red, an envy exceeding green, pure despair, having found the rat and his cat christening the most thoughtful gift. (my word that's pretentious nonsense)

Etymology: From the tradition that a bride wears something old, new, borrowed and blue. Also based on the idea that "blue" denotes both sexual behaviour and sadness. Note also "thin" (as opposed to "thing") as describing the sheets.

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COMMENTS:

Very colourful. Especially "the rat and his cat", wearing her white dress I imagine... - wordmeister, 2007-03-27: 06:53:00

something blew - I just got it - clever - Jabberwocky, 2007-03-27: 20:02:00

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Matricidicalapses

Created by: Jaxies

Pronunciation: /matri-sidical-laps-ease/

Sentence: "After attempting to kill both her new husband and best friend after finding them writhing around in bed together, Sally pleaded matricidicalapses as her defence in court. The judge ruled in her favour."

Etymology: Matrimony + homicidal + lapses

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Bridalpathology

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: bry dal path ol ogee

Sentence: It was a nightmare when Marey found her Groom Ed in bed with her bridesmaid, Fillymena...On the satin sheets that she had begat from her Grandmare, Mustang Sally, of all places and she did not like it one bit! She yelled until she was a little hoarse, okay, just a Quarterhoarse! She experienced Bridalpathology and found a need to harness her mane anxiety and buck the trend to overlook such horseplay. Of course, she knew that Ed had to sew his wild oats, the stud, but really...wasn't he more stable than that after becoming hitched? Spurred by the thoughts of a lengthy court battle and saddled with wrangling high legal fees, she decided divhorse was out of the question, even though he was no longer no pal-o-mino! She would instead pretend to curry Ed's favour, get into her Pinto, drive through the neigh-borhood gaits and go get her sire's Colt 45. No one was going to make a foal out of her! No one was going to rein on her parade or slow her gait, once she shod him, she would remane Appaloosa, whether he ended up in horsepital, gelding better or in an anonymous plod of land. She would live on thorough bread, seabiscuits and ponies of horse liniment if she had to and run off to Canter-bury. That was her tale and she was sticking to it...even if all the horse manure to be guilty!

Etymology: Bridal (of or relating to a wedding )& Pathology (any deviation from a healthy or normal condition;the branch of medical science that studies the causes and nature and effects of diseases ) & Bridle Path (the act of restraining power or action or limiting excess;a road fit for riders, but not vehicles)

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COMMENTS:

A narrative that a Mustang would surely find equinable. A tail that even a neigh sayer would consider to be a whinnying entry. - Mustang, 2008-06-11: 07:47:00

Thanks, Mustang...glad it Triggered a Champion response in you. - Nosila, 2008-06-11: 21:45:00

Thanks for the horseplay. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-06-12: 07:25:00

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Sheetcheats

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sheet-cheet

Sentence: Jill was stunned to find that her new husbum was a sheetcheat. She began to suspect something when she heard that her girlfriend just happened to book a vacation the same place they were having their honeymoon.

Etymology: sheet (a large rectangular piece of cotton, linen, or other material used as an article of bedding) + cheat (to deceive)

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Instavorcial

Created by: Tanik

Pronunciation: in-sta-vor-s-ial

Sentence: Sally was feeling instavorcial when she saw Bob and Tina in the guest room trying out Grandma's gift. She had always wanted satin sheets!

Etymology: instant + divorce

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Shagrin

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: shagg ran

Sentence: Her shagrin at what she witnessed on the shagpile of the honeymoon suite was expressed in an infortinate manner. Strangulation by old borrowed blue garter was the coronor's verdict.

Etymology: chagrin (sadness) Shag (erm...)

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COMMENTS:

great - Jabberwocky, 2008-06-11: 12:09:00

Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-06-12: 08:19:00

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Matrimoanial

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /ma-truh-MOWN-ee-ul/

Sentence: Linda couldn't cry anymore — she was all out of tears by now. Having mostly gotten over the initial shock of her new husband's and her best friend's betrayal, she was now feeling matrimoanial, seeking the comfort of her family, who would listen to her complaints and try to console her. "And worst of all Grandma, they were doing it right there on those lovely silk sheets you gave us." Her grandmother patted Linda on her knee and said, "If it's any consolation dear, that wasn't real silk anyway."

Etymology: Matrimonial - of or relating to the state of marriage (from Latin, matrimonium "wedlock, marriage") + Moan - complaint or lamentation (from Old English, mænan to mourn)

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COMMENTS:

Good one! - Nosila, 2008-06-11: 21:41:00

Good word; nice story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-06-12: 07:29:00

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Sluttony

Created by: mwveasey

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-03-27: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by sunny09.
Thank you sunny09! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-10-14: 04:06:00
Today's definition was suggested by sheets. Thank you sheets. ~ James