Vote for the best verboticism.

'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

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Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Vexmail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks mayl

Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.

Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)

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Oblivicurse

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: uh-bliv-eh-kers

Sentence: Jonesy had a secret life. Under the happy facade or bubbliness and congeniality, she was really a curmudgeon and a misanthrope. She was a call center operator script engineer. She was responsible for the impossible recursive loop design that would often frustrate callers. With each possible combination, she would oblivicurse the respondant with a multitude of irrelavent, ambiguous and time consuming questions that would often lead the person back to the beginning. With this, she would sit down and smile darkly.

Etymology: Oblivion + Curse

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COMMENTS:

Like that one, pieceof314...I just knew those IT types belonged to convens and every company has them! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:43:00

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Presstwosterloop

Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: press two ster loop

Sentence: Tina spent an hour and forty-five minutes on the most insane, frustrating presstwosterloop scam her cell phone company is putting customers through. After explaining her situation to 7 representatives, they still owed her $350 for the "promotional phone" she got 4 months ago. The presstwosterloop didn't stop her ... She finally hung up and drove down to the store where she raised a ruckus until the manager got her problem taken care of. Or so he said.

Etymology: Press two (ah, the options!) + ster (one that is associated with, participates, does) + loop (circular action)

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Helpwhine

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: helpwīn

Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.

Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)

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COMMENTS:

Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00

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Voicejail

Created by: mikewhite

Pronunciation: voice-jail

Sentence: can I add a sentence for voicejail later?

Etymology: voice+jail: wordplay on voice+mail

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COMMENTS:

like this word...describes it perfectly!! - mweinmann, 2009-05-20: 08:43:00

Great word, mike...yes, please make a sentence, you know you can! - Nosila, 2009-05-22: 12:10:00

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Phonejail

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /FOHN-jeyl/

Sentence: Kevin felt like a convict trying to escape from the phonejail system that his health care service provider used, where he'd been 'serving time' for most of the afternoon, forced to listen to their repetitive announcements and trying to navigate the labyrinth of menu options and the 'Interactive Voice Renouncement' system they use to support their customers. If he heard the words "your call is very important to us" a couple more times, Kevin thought, he might just go throttle somebody, who would then need to speak with the health care service more desperately than he did now.

Etymology: Play on the word 'phonemail': Phone - shortening of telephone (from French, téléphone "far" + "sound") + Jail - a detention facility or correctional institution (Old French, jaole "a cage, prison")

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COMMENTS:

Love it Tigger...somedays your 'sentences' are longer than others and there is no pardon or time off for good behaviour! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:37:00

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Limboloop

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: lim-boe-loop

Sentence: Jason knew that as soon as the computer started acting funny he had to call the customer service hotline. This frustrated him to no end because he knew that he would have to enter in the model number, serial number, the product code and the color of the unit before he even got to the limboloop hell of regional call centers, problem troubleshooting, cream and sugar preference, and choice of wait time muzak, only to have to give the same information when transfered to a human voice with a Irish Catholic name and an Indian accent.

Etymology: limbo, a place or state of oblivion to which persons or things are regarded as being relegated when cast aside, forgotten, past, or out of date + loop,Something having a shape, order, or path of motion that is circular or curved over on itself.

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COMMENTS:

Great word. Matches the definition very nicely. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:34:00

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Numericearpatter

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter

Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.

Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter

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Vlimtar

Created by: balku4

Pronunciation: vlimt

Sentence: i god this is a a vlimtar

Etymology: nonee

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-14: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.

Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-15: 16:59:00
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James

Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-20: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-22: 08:24:00
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James