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'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

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Verboticisms

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Phongravator

Created by: dessessopsid

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating

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Voicemenumania

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Vois-men-u-man-e-uh

Sentence: Ted Textired was fed up with the voicemenumania of the length of time he spent to get to one person on his telephone!

Etymology: Voice:The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human. (or computer generated voice)A sound resembling or reminiscent of vocal utterance. Menu:A list of available options. Mania: An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze. Voicemenumania:Taken in part from voice and menu to be voicemenu as in a recorded phone prompting and added mania to show the irration of using prompts to get through on a phone call that used to be simple... What happened to,"Hello this is____ may I help you?????"

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Presstress

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: press stress

Sentence: Murray's patience was running out...he was feeling the presstress of waiting on the phone for over 10 minutes now, after having been forced to press many choices to get to his final destination and then they put him on hold. What happened to when you phoned somewhere and got a live human to answer your questions? What made the powers that be decide to substitute pretend humans for real ones. He knew that lady's voice on the phone better than his own mother's! His aggravation grew and he presstressed some more, only to still end up on that message,"Your call is important to us, we value your business, please wait on the line for the next available operator". Sheesh, how hard was it to get a pizza anyway? And then he realized his error...in his presstress, he had not called Tony's 30 Minute Pizza, but had in error pushed another number. Good thing he was not dying or in trouble, just hungry, because he had accidentally pushed 911 instead!

Etymology: press (the act of pressing; the exertion of pressure or the state of urgently demanding notice or attention) & stress (a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense; or test the limits of)

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Dialdrone

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: dial/drone

Sentence: He kept trying to disconnect from the menu but instead of getting a dial tone he got a dialdrone.

Etymology: dial tone + drone

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COMMENTS:

Been there, done that. Good word. - Mustang, 2008-04-15: 03:36:00

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Autohated

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-heyt-ed

Sentence: After receiving hundreds of complaints about uneven treatment by customer-service reps - helpful and cordial one day, rude and uncaring the next - company executives decided that the only way to be fair and treat the entire public the same was to install an autohated voice mail system that would frustrate and hang up on everyone equally. They seem happy that the call volume has dropped dramatically.

Etymology: automated (to operate or control with a minimum of human interaction)+ hated (the object of extreme aversion or hostility)

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Automanic

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-man-ik

Sentence: Stephan had run out of patience when the automated system dumped him for a third time and in his automanic state he thoroughly destroyed his cell phone.

Etymology: Blend of automated and manic

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Screamcouragment

Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/

Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.

Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

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Oblivicurse

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: uh-bliv-eh-kers

Sentence: Jonesy had a secret life. Under the happy facade or bubbliness and congeniality, she was really a curmudgeon and a misanthrope. She was a call center operator script engineer. She was responsible for the impossible recursive loop design that would often frustrate callers. With each possible combination, she would oblivicurse the respondant with a multitude of irrelavent, ambiguous and time consuming questions that would often lead the person back to the beginning. With this, she would sit down and smile darkly.

Etymology: Oblivion + Curse

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COMMENTS:

Like that one, pieceof314...I just knew those IT types belonged to convens and every company has them! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:43:00

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Illedigitimate

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt

Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.

Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'

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COMMENTS:

fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00

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Digigeridoo

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: dij/i/uh-ree-doo

Sentence: Whenever I phone Bell Canada, our national phone company for service, I always encounter the digigeridoo system, which encompasses pressing hundreds of buttons which only produces unintelligible irritating voice activated drone sounds and than a very clear "Thank you for calling Bell".

Etymology: digit + didgeridoo (a musical instrument of Australian Aborigines that creates a low drone sound)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-14: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.

Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-15: 16:59:00
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James

Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-20: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-22: 08:24:00
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James