Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Phongravator
Created by: dessessopsid
Pronunciation:
Sentence:
Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating
Pressbuttirritant
Created by: dochanne
Pronunciation: Press-butt-ear-it-ant
Sentence: David just wanted to talk to someone about how he felt, but no matter what he did he couldn't get through to a human and kept getting lost in the voice-menu options. Before long he was no longer suicidal but was instead homicidal. He cursed and swore - "Damned presbuttirritant!" but in the end the mental health helpline hung up on him when he pressed the two instead of the two twice.
Etymology: Press button - usually what you're told to do by a pressbuttirritant; Irritant - grrrr! Presbyterian - a conveniently named religion, used here because some religions insist their followers press your (door) buttons in the early hours on the weekends and are thus also irritating. Not necessarily the Presbyterians themselves you understand.
Phonejail
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /FOHN-jeyl/
Sentence: Kevin felt like a convict trying to escape from the phonejail system that his health care service provider used, where he'd been 'serving time' for most of the afternoon, forced to listen to their repetitive announcements and trying to navigate the labyrinth of menu options and the 'Interactive Voice Renouncement' system they use to support their customers. If he heard the words "your call is very important to us" a couple more times, Kevin thought, he might just go throttle somebody, who would then need to speak with the health care service more desperately than he did now.
Etymology: Play on the word 'phonemail': Phone - shortening of telephone (from French, téléphone "far" + "sound") + Jail - a detention facility or correctional institution (Old French, jaole "a cage, prison")
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COMMENTS:
Love it Tigger...somedays your 'sentences' are longer than others and there is no pardon or time off for good behaviour! - Nosila, 2008-04-14: 19:37:00
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Annoyoanswer
Created by: phonesalad
Pronunciation: Annoy-o-answer
Sentence: OMG. This anoyoanswer is killing me. It thought I said "French fries and pickle goats taste like cheddar."
Etymology: annoy + o + answer
Telrettes
Created by: griffiegrrl
Pronunciation: Tell-retts
Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.
Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone
Digigeridoo
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: dij/i/uh-ree-doo
Sentence: Whenever I phone Bell Canada, our national phone company for service, I always encounter the digigeridoo system, which encompasses pressing hundreds of buttons which only produces unintelligible irritating voice activated drone sounds and than a very clear "Thank you for calling Bell".
Etymology: digit + didgeridoo (a musical instrument of Australian Aborigines that creates a low drone sound)
Screamcouragment
Created by: bdraffen0002
Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/
Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.
Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’
Vexmail
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: veks mayl
Sentence: When Bruce tried calling the phone company to extend the minutes on his phone, he had to go through no less than 20 prompts of vexmail to reach the person he needed. By that point the call was moot because he had stomped his phone in an act of cellacide and put it into receivership.
Etymology: Vex (irritate, annoy) & Voicemail (automated phone message system)
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.
Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James
Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James
readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James