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'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

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Verboticisms

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Autohated

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-heyt-ed

Sentence: After receiving hundreds of complaints about uneven treatment by customer-service reps - helpful and cordial one day, rude and uncaring the next - company executives decided that the only way to be fair and treat the entire public the same was to install an autohated voice mail system that would frustrate and hang up on everyone equally. They seem happy that the call volume has dropped dramatically.

Etymology: automated (to operate or control with a minimum of human interaction)+ hated (the object of extreme aversion or hostility)

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Agendizzement

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: a/jen/deez/mant

Sentence: The agendizzement was so convoluted and confusing that he soon developed a case of mennui and gave up ordering pizza.

Etymology: agenda + dizzy + aggrandizement (cause to appear greater than is the case)

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Voicedeactivation

Created by: EmSheMe

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Illedigitimate

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt

Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.

Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'

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COMMENTS:

fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00

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Screamcouragment

Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/

Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.

Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

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Helline

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: hel-line

Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.

Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline

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COMMENTS:

LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00

VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00

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Voicerail

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: voyse rayl

Sentence: The worst offenders are the ones supposedly out there helping you. Places like government agencies, city services, big corporations,banks... virtually any company with more than 2 people working in it. Roy was like many frustrated people. His anger and fury were incensed even further by having to go through a voicemail system. Or as he called it, a voicerail system. The more menu options he had to go through, the more irate he became. He'd waste an hour tip-toeing through all these numbers only to have to contact "0" to speak to a live human, because none of these options concerned his query. Just as he was about to shoot his phone with his Smith & Wesson, he was told the correct transit number to take and when it would depart...sometimes it's quicker just to stand at the stop and wait an hour!

Etymology: Voice Mail (a computerized interactive system for storing, processing and reproducing verbal messages left through a conventional telephone network) & Rail (spread negative information about;criticize severely;complain bitterly;rebel against)

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Phongravator

Created by: dessessopsid

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating

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Vexmessaging

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vex mess ajing

Sentence: Vexmessaging is described as what used to be a 2 minute inquiry call to a company, greeted by a pleasant, real live person, which has been replaced with a very long battle with an automatronic simulated human voice which does not give you enough options to get an answer. Vexmessaging gives companies the statistics that say their complaints this year are fewer. It is only because no one can get through to anyone to complain!!! Your call is important to us... indeed!

Etymology: Vex (to irritate, annoy,disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress;cause annoyance in;especially by minor irritations or be a mystery or bewildering to) & Messaging (sending a message or receiving one)& rhymes with Text Messaging (how everyone under 30 communicates in abbreviated codes, by cell phone/blackberry or other computerized device...even if they are in the same room as those with whom they communicating!)

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COMMENTS:

Covers it quite nicely. Great word! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 04:58:00

so true - Jabberwocky, 2009-05-22: 13:15:00

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Annoyoanswer

phonesalad

Created by: phonesalad

Pronunciation: Annoy-o-answer

Sentence: OMG. This anoyoanswer is killing me. It thought I said "French fries and pickle goats taste like cheddar."

Etymology: annoy + o + answer

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-14: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.

Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-15: 16:59:00
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James

Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-20: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-22: 08:24:00
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James