Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: press stress

Sentence: Murray's patience was running out...he was feeling the presstress of waiting on the phone for over 10 minutes now, after having been forced to press many choices to get to his final destination and then they put him on hold. What happened to when you phoned somewhere and got a live human to answer your questions? What made the powers that be decide to substitute pretend humans for real ones. He knew that lady's voice on the phone better than his own mother's! His aggravation grew and he presstressed some more, only to still end up on that message,"Your call is important to us, we value your business, please wait on the line for the next available operator". Sheesh, how hard was it to get a pizza anyway? And then he realized his error...in his presstress, he had not called Tony's 30 Minute Pizza, but had in error pushed another number. Good thing he was not dying or in trouble, just hungry, because he had accidentally pushed 911 instead!

Etymology: press (the act of pressing; the exertion of pressure or the state of urgently demanding notice or attention) & stress (a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense; or test the limits of)

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: hap-line

Sentence: I called up customer service trying to resolve my issue. Navigating the Indo-audio maze, I eventually surrendered to the hapline and just hung up.

Etymology: hapless- ill fated + helpline- customer service via phone

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: helpwīn

Sentence: Most every company has some version of a helpwhine. If you can push the right buttons, you are allowed to vent your frustrations to somebody who may or may not care what you have to say — somebody who may or may not speak discernible English. This assumes that you are ever able to find that lone human in the maze of options. ”Your Call is very important to... click”.

Etymology: help (assist) + whine (a feeble or petulant complaint)

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COMMENTS:

Dead on! - catgrin, 2010-06-21: 05:49:00

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Created by: phonesalad

Pronunciation: Annoy-o-answer

Sentence: OMG. This anoyoanswer is killing me. It thought I said "French fries and pickle goats taste like cheddar."

Etymology: annoy + o + answer

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Created by: dessessopsid

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: PHONE: abrv Telephone: electronic equipment that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds AGGRAVATOR: an unpleasant person who is annoying or exasperating

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter

Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.

Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ĭl'ĭ-dĭ-jĭt'ə-mĭt

Sentence: The illedigitemate "help" menu Bjorn reached when he called AT&T was all but helpful. After wearing a blister on his button finger and being irritated to the point of requiring three double gin-and-tonics he hung up and found the answer he needed in the help menu on his cell phone.

Etymology: meld of 'illegitimate' and 'digit' (finger)/'digital.'

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COMMENTS:

fun to say - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-14: 16:21:00

Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhm. Three double gin-and-tonics . . . I can almost taste the lime on my stirring digit. - doseydotes, 2008-04-14: 16:35:00

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /skrēmˈkərijmənt/

Sentence: I was foaming at the mouth; their menu was absolute screamcouragement.

Etymology: From the words Scream: Middle English: origin uncertain; perhaps from Middle Dutch. And Encouragement: Middle English (formerly also as incourage ): from French encourager, from en- ‘in’ + corage ‘courage.’

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Vois-men-u-man-e-uh

Sentence: Ted Textired was fed up with the voicemenumania of the length of time he spent to get to one person on his telephone!

Etymology: Voice:The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human. (or computer generated voice)A sound resembling or reminiscent of vocal utterance. Menu:A list of available options. Mania: An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire; a craze. Voicemenumania:Taken in part from voice and menu to be voicemenu as in a recorded phone prompting and added mania to show the irration of using prompts to get through on a phone call that used to be simple... What happened to,"Hello this is____ may I help you?????"

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: aw-tuh-heyt-ed

Sentence: After receiving hundreds of complaints about uneven treatment by customer-service reps - helpful and cordial one day, rude and uncaring the next - company executives decided that the only way to be fair and treat the entire public the same was to install an autohated voice mail system that would frustrate and hang up on everyone equally. They seem happy that the call volume has dropped dramatically.

Etymology: automated (to operate or control with a minimum of human interaction)+ hated (the object of extreme aversion or hostility)

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