Vote for the best verboticism.

'Please listen carefully as our menu has recently changed...'

DEFINITION: v. To call a phone "help line" and spend 45 minutes pushing buttons and screaming at dumb voice-recognition system, before being automatically disconnected. n. A push-button or voice-activated phone menu system designed to irritate those who use it.

Create | Read

Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Presstress

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: press stress

Sentence: Murray's patience was running out...he was feeling the presstress of waiting on the phone for over 10 minutes now, after having been forced to press many choices to get to his final destination and then they put him on hold. What happened to when you phoned somewhere and got a live human to answer your questions? What made the powers that be decide to substitute pretend humans for real ones. He knew that lady's voice on the phone better than his own mother's! His aggravation grew and he presstressed some more, only to still end up on that message,"Your call is important to us, we value your business, please wait on the line for the next available operator". Sheesh, how hard was it to get a pizza anyway? And then he realized his error...in his presstress, he had not called Tony's 30 Minute Pizza, but had in error pushed another number. Good thing he was not dying or in trouble, just hungry, because he had accidentally pushed 911 instead!

Etymology: press (the act of pressing; the exertion of pressure or the state of urgently demanding notice or attention) & stress (a state of mental or emotional strain or suspense; or test the limits of)

| Comments and Points

Numericearpatter

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: new-merrik-kear-patter

Sentence: Paula's digit was sore from depressing numbers on her phone, but she found the numericearpatter even more distressing with that recorded voice droning on about options, menus and numbers and how much her call was valued. In a fit of pique she mashed down on the entire keypad thereby forfeiting her 17th place in the queue.

Etymology: numeric keypad + ear + patter

| Comments and Points

Helline

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: hel-line

Sentence: James became homicidal after waiting 45 minutes on the helline because he was suicidal. The smarmy sound of the robovoice telling him how important his call was and the 16 measure monophonic drone of Vivaldi finally drove him over the edge causing him to put an end to his suffering by putting a bullet through his earpiece.

Etymology: hell+line: wordplay on helpline

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

LOL good one Mrskellyscl !!! :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-05-20: 02:57:00

VERY good! - Mustang, 2009-05-20: 06:51:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Automaddening

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ah-toh-MAD-ning

Sentence: The more Lance fiddled with the automated answering service at the hospital the more automaddening it became, with him eventually tossing his cell phone on the floor and heading out to the hospital in his car knowing it would likely be faster.

Etymology: Blend of 'automated' and 'maddening'.

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Who needs bureaucracy when you have automaddening answering services to drive you insane? - dochanne, 2009-05-20: 23:29:00

Automaddening is so much quicker than doing it manually... - Nosila, 2009-05-20: 23:34:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Telrettes

griffiegrrl

Created by: griffiegrrl

Pronunciation: Tell-retts

Sentence: John was experiencing Tellrettes when he was on an automated help-line the other day, and required a tranquilizer to calm him down.

Etymology: Turrets Syndrome (Spelling tweaked), Telephone

| Comments and Points

Callnundrum

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôlnəndrəm

Sentence: When Geoff had an issue with his computer he decided to call the customer service hotline. What started as a good idea quickly turned into a callnundrum, a virtual quagmire of button-pushing choices. Like a digital tar baby, every touch of the keypad took him deeper into the morass. Just when he was about to climb out of the entanglement by hanging up, he broke through to a live human being. Geoff's elation was immediately dashed when the service rep, who insisted his name was Charlie, seemed to have trouble understanding even the simplest question. He suspected that Charlie's company-issued Rosetta Stone CD was still in the CD tray.

Etymology: call center (an office set up to handle a large volume of telephone calls, esp. for taking orders and providing customer service) + conundrum (a question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle)

| Comments and Points

Discontention

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: dis - con - ten - shun

Sentence: There was a tremendous amount of discontention as Lyle continued to scream and pound the phone on the table; even after the automaton had disconnected the call. Lyle was convinced that the automated voice had become angry and annoyed with his yelling and "hung" up on him....which made him even more riled up. He wondered how he could ever get revenge on the digitalmoron. It was indeed the winter of his digital discontent and disconnect...

Etymology: disconnection (Unexpected termination of a telephone connection) --> discontent (dissatisfaction,longing for something better than the present situation) --> tension (a balance between and interplay of opposing elements or tendencies,a state of mental or emotional strain)--> contention (controvery,a contentious speech act, In packet mode communication networks, contention is a condition that arises when two or more data stations attempt to transmit at the same time over a shared channel):)

| Comments and Points

Voicedeactivation

Created by: EmSheMe

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

| Comments and Points

Agendizzement

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: a/jen/deez/mant

Sentence: The agendizzement was so convoluted and confusing that he soon developed a case of mennui and gave up ordering pizza.

Etymology: agenda + dizzy + aggrandizement (cause to appear greater than is the case)

| Comments and Points

Show All or More...

 

Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-14: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-04-14: 07:25:00
I miss silveryaspen.

Mustang - 2008-04-15: 03:35:00
Where did silveryaspen go?

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-04-15: 16:59:00
Silveryaspen has retired from active duty. But I am sure she is still creating Verboticisms in her head and saying wonderful things about all the Verbotomy Writers! ~ James

Mustang - 2008-04-16: 06:26:00
She is missed. She did indeed say some very nice things about Verbotomizers.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-20: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by silveryaspen. Thank you silveryaspen. ~ James

readerwriter - 2009-05-20: 07:52:00
How long is summer vacation? Just trying to make plans...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-05-22: 08:24:00
We work flex hours, so it is variable. I will send out an announcement when we start anew. ~ James