Verboticisms

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Kw-osh-i-fi-kay-shun

Sentence: Having been made redundant from his job at the city stockmarket, Henry had tried for so many jobs that he had lost count. He decided to try quashification and when asked about his previous employment he would tell any future employer that he was nothing more than the tea boy.

Etymology: Quash(prevent from being expressed or becoming public knowledge) + Qualification(a pass of an exam or completion of a course in order to meet the requirements of a certain job) = Quashification

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COMMENTS:

nice blend - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: brev + som + ay

Sentence: Joyce had two versions of her resume ready so that she could qualify for both entry level and professional job openings. Her resume contained years of achievements, awards and education. Her brevsume was much shorter. It began with her illustrious career as a papergirl, progressed to bagging groceries and ended with her stint as a parking lot attendant...

Etymology: Brevity and Resume >> Brevity (The quality of being brief in duration; Succinctness; conciseness) Resume (summary of educational and employment experience)

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COMMENTS:

wonderful verbotomy - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:36:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 21:18:00

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Created by: feltcap

Pronunciation: ə-kŏm'plĭsh'mĭn

Sentence: She knew they would take one look at her resume and be worried about the safety of their own jobs. What she needed was an accomplishmin, minimizing her extensive over qualifications, just so should could get in the door.

Etymology: accomplishment - a special skill or ability acquired by training or practice, min - short for minimize, to reduce

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Down-pay

Sentence:

Etymology: Downplay + pay

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate

Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.

Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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Created by: matte76

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.

Etymology:

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: dumb me down

Sentence: Once upon a time, (for this is how all fairy tales begin) the king exiled Mr. Loang Gone Silver, the bank pirate, to the I'lland country, where he thought his stashed salary millions, awaited him in an off-shore account. King Blackberry, however, had used his magic compupowers to hi-hack the money back! Due to his infamy, Mr. Loang Gone Silver had to change his name, and hide the terrible fact he was once a note-orious bank president, and go looking for a job. His dummydown resume' led him to his new job, as the dumbme, down at the gift shop on the beach, where he became the strawboss and sole-seller of straw shoes and straw hats. Mr. Loang Gone Silver was given the ailias Mr. Long Gone Bigshot.

Etymology: DUMMY, DOWN which is synonymous with DUMB ME DOWN. Dummy - 1) a fake. -2) an offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence or credulity ( informal insult ). Dumb - of lesser intelligence. Down - at a lower level.

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COMMENTS:

Sometimes he moonlighted as a partner to Mr. BoJangles! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 01:59:00

He said I dance now at every chance in honky tonks for drinks and tips But most the time I spend behind these county bars 'cause I drinks a bit He shook his head, and as he shook his head I heard someone ask him please Mr. Bojangles, Mr. Bojangles Mr. Bojangles, dance.. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:01:00

his new job sounds nicer than being a bank president - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:43:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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