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Verboticisms

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Splinterviewing

Created by: matte76

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.

Etymology:

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Crapplication

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars,

Etymology: application crap

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Applitruncation

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ap-li-truhng-key-shuhn

Sentence: After years of foreclosing loans on his neighbors Jim was reticent to mention his previous experience at job interviews. The needed paperwork often involves a fair amount of applitruncation.

Etymology: application (a written or spoken request or appeal for employment) + truncation (to cut short)

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Noncomplishments

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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Nabobfuscation

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: nay-BOB-fuss-cay-shun (nabobfuscate)

Sentence: Bob had managed to parlay his fortune into a pittance, and now he had to depend on the good will of others. He NABOBFUSCATED his job applications, and hoped that the people he had abused in the past wouldn't hold it against him. Once the haughty master of an offshore tax haven, he was lucky to wind up working in a gas station.

Etymology: NABOB+OBFUSCATION=NABOBFUSCATION.......NABOB:a person of great wealth or prominence;Hindi navāb & Urdu nawāb, from Arabic nuwwāb, plural of nā'ib governor.....OBFUSCATE: to be evasive, unclear, or confusing,to darken,to make obscure; Late Latin obfuscatus, past participle of obfuscare, from Latin ob- in the way + fuscus dark brown.

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COMMENTS:

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 19:38:00

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Curriculumbidet

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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Disconjobulation

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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Mcjobimize

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Mc/Job/i/mize

Sentence: To be even considered for the position at Dollarama, Joe had to McJobimize his resume leaving everything out that he did since high school.

Etymology: McJobimize - verb - from McJob (a none descript low paying job such as a burger server, or store greeter) + minimize (to represent at the lowest possible amount)

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Caredaction

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: Cer-re-dak-shun

Sentence: John really needed this menial job, so performed a little caredaction on his resume before submitting it.

Etymology: from Career (An occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress.) and redact(Edit (text) for publication.)

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Crapplication

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: He tried to gloss over the error on his crapplication, insisting that Doctor was his first name

Etymology: application, crap

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COMMENTS:

that would be a neat first name - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-02-25: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-08: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

'Didn't you used to be my Bank Manager?'

DEFINITION: v. To deny one's accomplishments, or minimize one's abilities in order to obtain a job. n. A resume, or list of qualifications, which has been disembellished and disemboweled to meet extremely low job requirements.

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