Verboticisms

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Alexander found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ap-li-truhng-key-shuhn

Sentence: After years of foreclosing loans on his neighbors Jim was reticent to mention his previous experience at job interviews. The needed paperwork often involves a fair amount of applitruncation.

Etymology: application (a written or spoken request or appeal for employment) + truncation (to cut short)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: neg ayt she ay shun

Sentence: In Harris' negatiation attempt get a $10 per hour job at the local fast food place, he had not anticipated being interviewed by someone who knew his real past.

Etymology: Negate (to deny, omit) & Negotiation (bargaining, discussion to come to an agreement)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars,

Etymology: application crap

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting

Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.

Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: brev + som + ay

Sentence: Joyce had two versions of her resume ready so that she could qualify for both entry level and professional job openings. Her resume contained years of achievements, awards and education. Her brevsume was much shorter. It began with her illustrious career as a papergirl, progressed to bagging groceries and ended with her stint as a parking lot attendant...

Etymology: Brevity and Resume >> Brevity (The quality of being brief in duration; Succinctness; conciseness) Resume (summary of educational and employment experience)

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COMMENTS:

wonderful verbotomy - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:36:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 21:18:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Down-pay

Sentence:

Etymology: Downplay + pay

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: dee/ny/I/grate

Sentence: In these tough economic times the only way I could get a job at the local McDonalds was to denyigreat, which was difficult because I am.

Etymology: deny + I + great + denigrate (disparage)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: non kom plish ments

Sentence: When Bank Manager Mr. Drysdale applied at the fast food restaurant for a part-time job, his resume was full of noncomplishments. His interest in the job was on account of the fact that he'd lost a lot in his bank retirement savings plan. The Assistant Manager who interviewed him after he deposited his application did not trust his resume. It was a wicket lie he knew, but he could hardly teller the truth. He had worked at a Sperm Bank...

Etymology: Non (negative, not at all) & Accomplishments (achievements, qualifications, abilities acquired by training)

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