Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: dum ma ree

Sentence: Jim's resume for the fast fry cook's position was actually a dummary of his career's achievements. After cooking the books at the bank for 30 years, he felt he could cook anything this place served.

Etymology: Dumb (not so smart) & Summary (a resume, brief job/education history;

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: brev + som + ay

Sentence: Joyce had two versions of her resume ready so that she could qualify for both entry level and professional job openings. Her resume contained years of achievements, awards and education. Her brevsume was much shorter. It began with her illustrious career as a papergirl, progressed to bagging groceries and ended with her stint as a parking lot attendant...

Etymology: Brevity and Resume >> Brevity (The quality of being brief in duration; Succinctness; conciseness) Resume (summary of educational and employment experience)

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COMMENTS:

wonderful verbotomy - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:36:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-02-25: 21:18:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: dis-con-job-yu-LAY-shun

Sentence: With no possible chance to find another job in his highly specialized field, Horace found it necessary to apply for jobs he once considered beneath himself and found a little disconjobulation was necessary in order to 'qualify' for such menial positions.

Etymology: A play on the word discombobulation, or discombobulate (To throw into a state of confusion)

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COMMENTS:

I love the 'con-job' in the middle! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:15:00

great - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:39:00

Love it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-27: 07:50:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: jentrēlevəl

Sentence: When Prince Gustuv found that the family fortune was not what it once was, it became clear that he would have to find a way to make some money. There are few jobs earmarked for the nobility so it looked he would have to downplay his rank and take a (gasp!) gentrylevel position. The interviewer tried hard to not burst out laughing when he saw "formerly know as Prince" on the resume.

Etymology: gentry (the class of people next below the nobility in position and birth) + level (a height or distance from the ground or another stated or understood base) play on entry-level

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COMMENTS:

superb - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:40:00

Very good, and it made me laugh! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-26: 20:11:00

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Created by: matte76

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Bob was splinterviewing for the fry cook job since there was nothing else available. The 60-year olds' resume had obviously been splinterviewed to increase its' appeal.

Etymology:

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: WARE with DRAW eul

Sentence: After Bob was laid off from his job and he didn’t have the wherewithal to pay his bills, he decided he was too young to retire and needed to get a job. A long time salesman and way overqualified, he found that the wares he had to sell at this point in his life were his lack of credentials rather than his credentials. It became evident that if he worked at it he had the warewithdrawal he needed to undersell his abilities.

Etymology: WARE: an asset or product to sell WHEREWITHAL: means to make something happen NONE: WITHDRAWAL:

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:42:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: cellf-eh-fak-ting

Sentence: Downey Outman was so selfeffacting on his resume the Human Resources Manager, Noah Job, could hardly bear (or is it bare?) to read the words printed by hand on the soft double-ply tissues.

Etymology: A play on SELFEFFACING, humble or modest using FACT, knowledge or information based on real occurances

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COMMENTS:

very funny - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-25: 14:41:00

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Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Down-pay

Sentence:

Etymology: Downplay + pay

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krap lik ay shun

Sentence: His crapplication for the tobacco glossed over many of his achievements and qualifications, including one particularly high office which he held and where he had gleaned some experience which may have been of benefit when selling cigars,

Etymology: application crap

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: coor rik yu lum bee day

Sentence: His curriculum vitae read more like it had been made into a curriculumbidet...all the most recent events on his resume had been whitewashed and changed as though they never had happened or had not as much impact as one would have thought. When the recruiter asked him what skills he brought to the job of a waiter, Dubya as he was known for short, thought hard and long about it before responding. Okay, 10 seconds. "Well, I am good at taking orders from my Mom, Dad and Wife; I know how to run up a large tab; I can recommend Rice as a staple in any regime;Iraq up tips; I am good at nonsensical banter and if we get real busy, my two burly friends, who speak into their cufflinks, can lend a hand."

Etymology: Rhymes with Curriculum Vitae (a summary of your academic and work history) & Bidet (a basin for washing genitals and anal area)

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COMMENTS:

You are queen of the delightful denouement! His-tor-ically Funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:11:00

Make that His-story-cally funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-25: 02:12:00

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