Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: Gram-stop-oh

Sentence: Maude was a good wife. She tollerated and suffered throught many of her pet peeves about Larry, but the one she couldn't pass up was his poor language. He constantly spewed out mixed tenses as often as he mixed metaphors, and noun-verb agreement would always get lost somewhere in a sentence. Larry paid as much attention to what he said as much as she how much she corrected him. He just laughed it off as he called her his little "Gramstapo."

Etymology: Gram -from grammar + gestap - the Nazi secret police

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COMMENTS:

gestapo, that is. (Consider this a preemptive correction for the missing "o" to avoid any wannabe gramstapos out there from pouncing on me. lol - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

Or, would it be called "gramstapoes?" - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:42:00

or "gramstopi?" - stache, 2008-03-26: 12:55:00

Larry should not forget, "We ask the questions!" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:34:00

Ja, gutes wort (yes, good word). Did you realize that you can 'Edit' your entry arrrteest? - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:54:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taxi der mist

Sentence: Lynn Gwistik was secretly known as Marian the Grammarian. She was a stickler for correct grammar. She was neither passive nor active, but always very tense. When she fell in love with the object of her desire, Jerry Und, she knew he was not perfect and she would have to try and modify him, because he was such an onomatopoeian. He had prepositioned her and when their ellipsis met, he was superlative. But we all know that love is of a transitive nature and when she tired of his dangling modifiers, her clause came out and she attempted a ligature on him. Jerry had not known that Lynn was a syntaxidermist before she had tried to have him mounted on her trophy wall with her other antecedents. Thanks to his testimony, she is serving an indefinite,run-on, compound sentence for her crimes.

Etymology: Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences; studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement & Taxidermist (a craftsman who stuffs and mounts the skins of animals for display)

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COMMENTS:

That was a lot of thought on your part - very clever! I voted for yours but forgot to sign in first. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:49:00

I count 18 grammatical references, plus the two punny names. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:51:00

They call me the Queen of the Pundra...what can I say? - Nosila, 2010-06-03: 00:11:00

SO - you are on the site at 11 min. past midnight - THAT'S how you do it. Most of your REM sleep is probably spent on dreaming up words and sentences for Verbotomy! - karenanne, 2010-06-03: 19:37:00

Oh, that's right - I forgot you are on Mountain Standard Time, so it was only 10:11 pm for you. - karenanne, 2010-06-04: 19:17:00

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: gram-a-mend

Sentence: Rohit was a grammamend I couldn't date, much less tolerate in any setting. So what? -I meant "couldn't bear it" rather than "couldn't bare it". He corrected me in the instant messenger, and my replying with "Ahh" was not good enough. He went on to say that he can't stand people who can't handle criticism, and he thinks I'm petty. He wouldn't move on until I cyber-bowed down before him and thanked him for putting me on the right path. Quite bizarre. At first I didn't mind the correction at all..It didn't even phase me.. It was his insistence for recognition of his brilliance that was the clincher! And he actually thought I'd go out with him for a first-meet after that.

Etymology: grammar + amend

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like a true story. [By the way, you mixed verb tenses in one of your sentences. — Yours Truly, Rohit] Just kidding, diyan. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:10:00

Don't worry. I'm not your [hopefully fictional] linguistalker. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:15:00

Tigger, "linguistalker" is correct! The linguadventure is a true tale. hahaha... And he did keep calling me and IMing me after that one, but I linguiblocked him. - diyan627, 2008-03-27: 11:48:00

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Created by: doseydotes

Pronunciation: ˈgra-mər-ˈä-dər

Sentence: Jacob turned to his dad. “Me and Jim are going to the mall . . .” “Jim’s not mean,” Tim interrupted. “What?” Jacob asked. “Jim’s not mean. You said he was mean,” replied his dad. “Oh, DAD. JIM AND I are going to the mall,” said Jacob, exasperated. “Your dad is such a grammarauder,” whispered Jim. “TELL me about it,” grumbled Jacob.

Etymology: From the Greek, gram, meaning "really old lady with really good cookies"; from the Neptune, mer, meaning "handsome eunich water sprite"; from the Shyamalan, aud, meaning "strangeness bordering on scariness which is somehow still lucrative"; and from the Irish, er, a place-holder in speech which prevents others from talking while one thinks of something else to say.

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COMMENTS:

Sounds somehow familiar. And the obscure etymological sources from whence your creations spring never cease to amaze. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:58:00

marauder could be someone who goes in search of blunder - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:41:00

Grammatical Error - When Grandma screws up. Interesting blend. (Johnny Hart, The Book of Phrases - BC Comic Strip) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:10:00

Oh, that's my #1 pet peeve — when people say 'me and ' where they should say ' and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:01:00

That didn't show up right. I meant — when people say 'me and [so-and-so]' where they should say '[so-and-so] and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:03:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: gram-o-poop

Sentence: Alicia's act of gramopooping every sentence spoken by her mismatched boyfriend Billy Bob was fully justified in her heard; she had a Master's degree in English Language, while poor Billy Bob never even completed his high school education. Even though Alicia was the biggest ever gramopoop Billy has come across, he knew that's the highest level of intellectual dating chain he will ever get, so he kept hoping for Alicia's "gramonstipation".

Etymology: Grammar + Poop (slang for a person regarded as spoiler/fun destroyer).

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COMMENTS:

"Gramonstipation"! Oh, that takes the cake! No pun intended. - diyan627, 2008-03-26: 03:45:00

It seems that Billy Bob knew all about the "dative case" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:54:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin tax

Sentence: Joel knew that contant correction of his dreadful grammar by the lovely Davina was the sintax he had to pay for her affections.

Etymology: Sin (commit a sin; violate a law of God or a moral law) & Tax (set or determine the amount of (a payment such as a fine);use to the limit) & Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences)

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Created by: Kirubeza

Pronunciation: Strikt - acks

Sentence: Kevin's grasp of grammar was not what one would call the best and while his feeble attempt to verbalize how he felt about Jodie would perhaps have come across as cute to someone else, it was not in her nature as a strictax to allow such atrocities go unpunished and she brutally (yet somewhat suggestively) corrected his many grievous errors.

Etymology: A combination of STRICT - Exactly correct - and SYNTAX - The grammatical arrangement of words in a sentence.

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Esmerelda was thoroughly parsnickety and always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Leonardo, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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