Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: gram-o-poop

Sentence: Alicia's act of gramopooping every sentence spoken by her mismatched boyfriend Billy Bob was fully justified in her heard; she had a Master's degree in English Language, while poor Billy Bob never even completed his high school education. Even though Alicia was the biggest ever gramopoop Billy has come across, he knew that's the highest level of intellectual dating chain he will ever get, so he kept hoping for Alicia's "gramonstipation".

Etymology: Grammar + Poop (slang for a person regarded as spoiler/fun destroyer).

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COMMENTS:

"Gramonstipation"! Oh, that takes the cake! No pun intended. - diyan627, 2008-03-26: 03:45:00

It seems that Billy Bob knew all about the "dative case" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:54:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: lek ZAK tih tood

Sentence: Lexie's constant correcting of what everyone was saying was really wearing thin. I told her I was chomping at the bit to get out of there because I found her lexactitude so annoying, and she responded, "Actually, it's 'champing at the bit,' not 'chomping.'" I told her something she could chomp as I was leaving.

Etymology: lex- (prefix meaning "word") + exactitude

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COMMENTS:

Lexie...love it! - Nosila, 2010-06-02: 23:41:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taks ass sess or

Sentence: Sidney Nym had grown to hate his wife, Anne T. Nym. Almost since the day they were wed, she had made him tense in his past, present and future due to her incessant correction of his grammar. Their initial conjunction had been predicated on their indicative physical attraction to each other and they had conjugated their relationship regularly then. But she took her role as syntaxassessor very seriously and over the years, she had become the active voice and he the passive one. She was the definite article, he was the indefinite one. He would love to subject her to a taste of her own medicine, but unfortunately, his weak linguistic grasp of the vernacular just gave him a pain in his colon instead. He wished he had interjected a clause in their pre-nup to preclude her from modifying his income should the object of his affection preposition another man and leave. He had pondered many a time abbreviating her time on Earth, but he also had to consider the children: Acro Nym and Homo Nym (yeah, like he didn't get teased in school). He had also considered running off and becoming a transitive, but he was a pronoun and had an ellipsis....he decided to stay and work on his marriage. Besides, compounding his decision was the fact that every article he read said that the sentence for a case like his could be Capital punishment!

Etymology: syntax (studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences; the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement) & tax (make a charge against or accuse) & assessor (an official who evaluates things or judges their merits)

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COMMENTS:

Man, your sentence leaves me speechless. I have nothing-you used 'em all! expertly done. - stache, 2008-03-26: 09:10:00

Astounding sentence! Love the word too! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-26: 14:11:00

well thought out - bookowl, 2008-03-26: 15:14:00

Absolutely great sentence. Syntax - . // The money collected at the church from sinners. (Aiken Drum, POTD, 31 May 1999) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:19:00

I'll never look at ellipses the same way again. Simply punderful! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:25:00

Cheers, all...as you may have guessed my nickname is Nosila, Queen of the Pundra! This is a great place to practice my craft...few on the outside understand "us"! - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:45:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: the/good/gram/air/i/tan

Sentence: Thegoodgrammaritan is a selfless individual who will stop to correct bad grammar no matter what the consequences to himself might be.

Etymology: good + grammar + the good samartitan

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COMMENTS:

Nice word. Montaigne said: " The basis of most of the world's troubles are matters of grammar" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:07:00

Clever entry! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:17:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gram-puh-lees

Sentence: Mindy is sorry she ever introduced her Grampa to FaceBook. Worse yet is that she friended him. He has become the grammpolice, correcting her every misspelling, every errant comma or apostrophe. Her friends are leaving fewer and fewer comments because he has started "helping" them too.

Etymology: Grammar (the study of the way the sentences of a language are constructed) + Grampa (grandfather) + Police (an organized civil force for maintaining order, preventing and detecting crime, and enforcing the laws)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: grampä

Sentence: You could always count on Grammpa to correct his grandchildren whenever they spoke. Sometimes they could barely utter a word or two before he would jump in to rephrase what they had just said. Eventually the children stopped talking at all when he was around. Some think that was his goal in the first place.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general, usually taken as consisting of syntax and morphology) + grandpa (one’s grandfather)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin tax

Sentence: Joel knew that contant correction of his dreadful grammar by the lovely Davina was the sintax he had to pay for her affections.

Etymology: Sin (commit a sin; violate a law of God or a moral law) & Tax (set or determine the amount of (a payment such as a fine);use to the limit) & Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: throb jek tiv

Sentence: She tried to be objective, but her criticism was throbjective. It made him sad but not sobjective to finish this jobective. He smacked her in the gobjective because she was a grammar snobjective. His main robjective complete, he rejoined his mobjective, before he had to face the copjectives!

Etymology: Throb (an instance of rapid strong pulsation (of the heart) & Objective (serving as or indicating the object of a verb or of certain prepositions and used for certain other purposes)

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COMMENTS:

Seven great creates. Not easy to do that to include one base word in the etymology of them all. Very inventive! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 09:55:00

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