Verboticisms

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jak-grahm-mer

Sentence: In the Teacher's Room, out of her hearing, of course, the red-haired English teacher was referred to as "The Jackgrammar." Even the Physics teacher, a man of few words and much substance, laughed out loud at the label. The barrage of her daily correction was intolerable. Her red pen not only marked her students papers, but the notice board ("final grade's due on...") , the photocopy machine ("put xtra paper here.."), the Principle's (sic) suggestion box. Little did the teachers know that her boyfriend was a tattoo artist and that underneath her long-sleeved blouses, on the skin of her left forearm (unseen in the drawing), was a red and blue heart and the words, "Luv Conquers All."

Etymology: A play on "jackhammer," a pneumatic tool for breaking pavement and drilling rock.

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COMMENTS:

Laughed all the way through the sentence. Luv the way the etymology implies such people hit us like a hammar and break us. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:08:00

Good one! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:46:00

This one's destined to be a classic. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:34:00

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Tag-mem-ic-rect-if-i-Kay-shun-o-file

Sentence: Verbosity and gramatic eloquence cannot singularly direct the attentive comprehension of the average individual through auditory reception; without the proper corrective parameters being established by a fully qualified tagmemicrectificationophile!

Etymology: Tagmemic (Words) Rectification (Correction) Phile (To admire or be devoted to)

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COMMENTS:

indubitably, a singularly meritoreous and commendable candidate, no component occluded. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:38:00

Alas, I lament my reiteration of your expression, "singularly." - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Albeit unheeding, and contextually distinguishable. - stache, 2008-03-26: 11:45:00

One for "The Dictionary of Longest Verboticisms" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:46:00

A preeminently jocular submission, (although hard to say in one breath). - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:16:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taks as ses sor

Sentence: Comma Chameleon found her mark in her new boyfriend, Colon. Although he came from good parenttheses, was very dashing, earned a high income bracket and had a hyphenated name, his English skills were dreadful. Although his Grammar had taught him well, Comma found she had to edit everything he said. She became his syntaxassessor and if it were not for the fact that he had a cute asterisk and was great at the old interrobang, she would have put a bullet beside his name before now. It did not hurt that he punctuated his wedding proposal with a large caret diamond ring...

Etymology: Syntax ( the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences) & Wordplay on Tax Assessor (an official who evaluates property for the purpose of taxing it)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: par-SNIK-ety

Sentence: Being a stickler for grammar, Esmerelda was thoroughly parsnickety and always quick to correct even the most insignificant grammatical blunders, and was especially critical of her boyfriend, Leonardo, whose grammar skills were particularly weak.

Etymology: Blend of 'parse' (To break (a sentence) down into its component parts of speech with an explanation of the form, function, and syntactical relationship of each part. ) and 'persnickety' (Overparticular about trivial details; fastidious)

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: speek-rite-ur

Sentence: It's, like, impossible to talk at Mary. Always correcting me, she is. She's a speakrighter determined to make me speak righter.

Etymology: speak, right, speech writer

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COMMENTS:

Dylan Thomas said, 'British broadcasters speak as if they had Elgin's marbles in their mouth," - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:36:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sin taxi der mist

Sentence: Lynn Gwistik was secretly known as Marian the Grammarian. She was a stickler for correct grammar. She was neither passive nor active, but always very tense. When she fell in love with the object of her desire, Jerry Und, she knew he was not perfect and she would have to try and modify him, because he was such an onomatopoeian. He had prepositioned her and when their ellipsis met, he was superlative. But we all know that love is of a transitive nature and when she tired of his dangling modifiers, her clause came out and she attempted a ligature on him. Jerry had not known that Lynn was a syntaxidermist before she had tried to have him mounted on her trophy wall with her other antecedents. Thanks to his testimony, she is serving an indefinite,run-on, compound sentence for her crimes.

Etymology: Syntax (the grammatical arrangement of words in sentences; studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences;a systematic orderly arrangement & Taxidermist (a craftsman who stuffs and mounts the skins of animals for display)

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COMMENTS:

That was a lot of thought on your part - very clever! I voted for yours but forgot to sign in first. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:49:00

I count 18 grammatical references, plus the two punny names. - karenanne, 2010-06-02: 15:51:00

They call me the Queen of the Pundra...what can I say? - Nosila, 2010-06-03: 00:11:00

SO - you are on the site at 11 min. past midnight - THAT'S how you do it. Most of your REM sleep is probably spent on dreaming up words and sentences for Verbotomy! - karenanne, 2010-06-03: 19:37:00

Oh, that's right - I forgot you are on Mountain Standard Time, so it was only 10:11 pm for you. - karenanne, 2010-06-04: 19:17:00

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Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: gram-o-poop

Sentence: Alicia's act of gramopooping every sentence spoken by her mismatched boyfriend Billy Bob was fully justified in her heard; she had a Master's degree in English Language, while poor Billy Bob never even completed his high school education. Even though Alicia was the biggest ever gramopoop Billy has come across, he knew that's the highest level of intellectual dating chain he will ever get, so he kept hoping for Alicia's "gramonstipation".

Etymology: Grammar + Poop (slang for a person regarded as spoiler/fun destroyer).

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COMMENTS:

"Gramonstipation"! Oh, that takes the cake! No pun intended. - diyan627, 2008-03-26: 03:45:00

It seems that Billy Bob knew all about the "dative case" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:54:00

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Created by: mercury258

Pronunciation: gram-you-scribe

Sentence: Jenna: Where'd you go to? My water broke and I need a ride to the hospital! Sarah: I think you mean to say, "To where did you go?" Jenna: Quit grammuscribing me and give me a ride!

Etymology: From Grammar and to Prescribe

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: Rek ti fy

Sentence: Killsay was excellent at morphemes and constituents. He was born a Grammar. Killsay was very in tense, and always in the accusative. He was overly generous in sharing his grammar. Killsay would restruckture the speecch of any one. No was was safe from his guydance (guidance) ... shuffling his feet, waving his finger, tweaking your verbose, nitpicking through one's words ... he would wrectify everything said.

Etymology: RECTIFY, WRECK. RECTIFY - correct, amend, revise. WRECK - to damage and destroy with too much revision. --- (Morphemes are basic word-building units. Constituents are sentence-building units. They are true grammatical words, not verbotomies.) Killsay Grammar is a pun on actor Kelsey Grammer, star of the tv show Frasier.

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COMMENTS:

Bet she had a bad rectutation.... - Mustang, 2009-01-16: 04:17:00

After she irritates enough people, she might turn a wreckluse. - mweinmann, 2009-01-16: 08:12:00

Thank you for the clever comments. But Killsay is a he ... not a she! Men are guilty of doing this, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 10:03:00

nice - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-16: 16:16:00

Killsay Grammar...love it! - Nosila, 2009-01-16: 20:43:00

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Created by: doseydotes

Pronunciation: ˈgra-mər-ˈä-dər

Sentence: Jacob turned to his dad. “Me and Jim are going to the mall . . .” “Jim’s not mean,” Tim interrupted. “What?” Jacob asked. “Jim’s not mean. You said he was mean,” replied his dad. “Oh, DAD. JIM AND I are going to the mall,” said Jacob, exasperated. “Your dad is such a grammarauder,” whispered Jim. “TELL me about it,” grumbled Jacob.

Etymology: From the Greek, gram, meaning "really old lady with really good cookies"; from the Neptune, mer, meaning "handsome eunich water sprite"; from the Shyamalan, aud, meaning "strangeness bordering on scariness which is somehow still lucrative"; and from the Irish, er, a place-holder in speech which prevents others from talking while one thinks of something else to say.

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COMMENTS:

Sounds somehow familiar. And the obscure etymological sources from whence your creations spring never cease to amaze. - stache, 2008-03-26: 10:58:00

marauder could be someone who goes in search of blunder - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:41:00

Grammatical Error - When Grandma screws up. Interesting blend. (Johnny Hart, The Book of Phrases - BC Comic Strip) - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:10:00

Oh, that's my #1 pet peeve — when people say 'me and ' where they should say ' and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:01:00

That didn't show up right. I meant — when people say 'me and [so-and-so]' where they should say '[so-and-so] and I'. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:03:00

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