Verboticisms

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: wurd-PREE-fekt

Sentence: "But this is madness. I am trying to stop this company from becoming a grammatical graveyard! Don't you realize it concerns every person in this country - and, moreover, in the greater part of the world to speak English perfectly" Behind his back, in a low voice, someone murmured, " Oh no, has someone split an infinitive again." Things were becoming tense as Bob, flushing crimson, started to leave the room. After few moments, someone said, "Hope that's the last of "Verndracula" for a while. "Verndracula", "Dipthong", "Cretaphor" and, quasi-officially, "The Wordprefect" were but a few pejoratives for Bob, whose habitual correcting of even the slightest grammatical error was driving his colleagues to demential declensia. However, they agreed, that it was a "critical period" in the company's history, and that it would be a "double negative" if they sat there tangentiality, and did nothing to put a "glottal stop" to his psycholinguistic punishment. Firstly they started to mutilate plurals, one boomerang became two "beemearang"; one cuckoo was two "cuckee". And, in an attempt, to render this onomatopedant almost apoplexic: 'Boo-hoo' became "bee-hee" and "boom" became "beem" Reaching for the mountain top of malapropisms, they uttered howlers such as a "let's not talk about tattoo subjects". Gradually, Bob began to realize that he had lost all "soap in his hole" when he began to slip, more and more, into spoonerisms - of course, that should be speenerism.

Etymology: Blend of WORD & PREFECT: School boy,especially in English Grammar schools, with responsibility for th discipline and "proper" behavior of other students.

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COMMENTS:

There's nothing like clouding up the waters with a good mixed metaphor, ya know! - arrrteest, 2008-03-26: 12:04:00

excellent sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 14:00:00

So many hysterical stories today! Very amusing. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 22:29:00

Loved it...it left me almost comma-tose. Period. Doesn't a dipthong sound like the kind of low-cut bathing suit that Borat wore? Isn't a beemerang a carphone call for a yuppie? Cheers!(Is the singular form of that a cher?) - Nosila, 2008-03-26: 22:40:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: pedd ant

Sentence: Hilary , a complete pedaunt, had driven all of her nephews to totally reject education with her "little chats"

Etymology: pedant, aunt

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COMMENTS:

pedant - how nicely arcane... :) - otherguy, 2009-01-16: 04:50:00

Exceptional. Perfectly fits the definition. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-16: 09:34:00

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Created by: Biscotti

Pronunciation: in-glish-may-jor

Sentence: Alex really took his englishmajorism over the top when he tried to convince people they were speaking with the wrong form of the word (too, two, to).

Etymology: english (a language many people speak) + major (the main course of study at a 4 year university or college)

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Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: gram-a-mend

Sentence: Rohit was a grammamend I couldn't date, much less tolerate in any setting. So what? -I meant "couldn't bear it" rather than "couldn't bare it". He corrected me in the instant messenger, and my replying with "Ahh" was not good enough. He went on to say that he can't stand people who can't handle criticism, and he thinks I'm petty. He wouldn't move on until I cyber-bowed down before him and thanked him for putting me on the right path. Quite bizarre. At first I didn't mind the correction at all..It didn't even phase me.. It was his insistence for recognition of his brilliance that was the clincher! And he actually thought I'd go out with him for a first-meet after that.

Etymology: grammar + amend

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COMMENTS:

Sounds like a true story. [By the way, you mixed verb tenses in one of your sentences. — Yours Truly, Rohit] Just kidding, diyan. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:10:00

Don't worry. I'm not your [hopefully fictional] linguistalker. - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:15:00

Tigger, "linguistalker" is correct! The linguadventure is a true tale. hahaha... And he did keep calling me and IMing me after that one, but I linguiblocked him. - diyan627, 2008-03-27: 11:48:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: the/good/gram/air/i/tan

Sentence: Thegoodgrammaritan is a selfless individual who will stop to correct bad grammar no matter what the consequences to himself might be.

Etymology: good + grammar + the good samartitan

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COMMENTS:

Nice word. Montaigne said: " The basis of most of the world's troubles are matters of grammar" - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:07:00

Clever entry! - Tigger, 2008-03-26: 23:17:00

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Created by: jajsr

Pronunciation: Come-plane-i-z-i-shun-ist

Sentence: Delores was quite the complainisitionist. When her husband came down for breakfast and asked, "Is that grits I smell", she quickly replied, "you mean, ARE those grits I smell".

Etymology: Combination of "Complain" - to express grief, pain or discomfort; and "sition" from composition - an intellectual creation

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COMMENTS:

I'll bet he smelled them when the plate impacted his face. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-21: 15:39:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: gram-a-nag

Sentence: Grandma's grammarnaggery had galled her grandchildren greatly so they gratefully agreed to greet Grandpa and give up Grandma's gramma pie. (Australian version of pumpkin pie)

Etymology: grammar + nag

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COMMENTS:

good gracious - gallons of gs - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-26: 11:43:00

Gorgeous! - Jamagra, 2008-03-26: 15:09:00

Good one. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-26: 17:25:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: graməstäpō

Sentence: The Grammestapo is always vigilant when it comes to the spoken or written word. Texting just about drives them crazy. One good ”your (or yur) gr8” can send them into apoplexy.

Etymology: grammar (the whole system and structure of a language or of languages in general) + Gestapo (the German secret police under Nazi rule)

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Created by: badsnudge

Pronunciation: lin-truss-tee

Sentence: When I told her it was 'an' elephant and not 'uh' elephant, she told me that I was a nal. "Certainly not. I am merely a humble lynnetrustee." I replied.

Etymology: Lynne Truss (author of Eats, Shoots, and Leaves) + trustee

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: F-11

Sentence: Who cares if I said "me and my dog" instead of "my dog and I"? Don't be such an effeleven!

Etymology: from the keyboard shortcut for spellchecker

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