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'Why are you putting that by the front door?'

DEFINITION: n., An ugly decorative item or article of clothing received from friends or relatives, which is kept stored away but ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice in anticipation of a return visit. v., To temporarily place an old, and perhaps unattractive gift in a place of honor.

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Verboticisms

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Beautifake

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'byu ti fayk

Sentence: "Uncle Simone is coming over, Samantha. Time to beautifake yourself."..."No way, Dad. That plaid sweater is such an ugly beautifakation."

Etymology: beautify + fake

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Gifthoarse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Ornamenstrocity

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ohr nam ens troh sitee

Sentence: it took three men and a JCB to mount the ornamenstrosity on the patio, but a gift from toni was a gift from toni, capese?

Etymology: ornament, monstrosity

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COMMENTS:

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-16: 11:24:00

Great word - TJayzz, 2008-12-16: 13:15:00

Capese! You keep trying to put it away, but they keep pulling you back! - Nosila, 2008-12-16: 22:20:00

Fuggetaboutit! - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:05:00

Ornamentatious! - dochanne, 2008-12-17: 03:19:00

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Treasuredpest

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tres shured pest

Sentence: It all started when Fred's father was in prison and made everyone items in the woodshop for Christmas. Most of the family got normal, carved items, like ducks or horses or dogs. But lucky Fred was given a large whittled evil-looking rat. It's beady eyes followed you around the room and the little kids were scared of it. When his Dad was paroled, he came each major holiday to visit with Fred and his family, and they would have to dig out "You dirty rat" as it became known to proudly display on the mantle. Fred's wife was afraid to dust it and it became a treasuredpest, much to the smug laughter of other family members. They all knew Fred got the treasuredpest because he had been the one to phone Crimestoppers and turn in the old man for passing counterfeit money in the first place. So much for anonymity!

Etymology: Treasured (something valued or feeling fondness for) & Pest (something persistently annoying) & Play on term Treasure Chest (a chest filled with valuables)

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Eyestore

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: i-store

Sentence: When Dave's Auntie Joan had given him the hideous orange and green vase for Christmas last year he smiled broadly and thanked her very much telling her it was beautiful. However as soon as she had left he wrapped up the eyestore and put it straight into the loft. Auntie Joan is due to visit again this year on christmas day, so the plan is to get in the loft on Christmas eve and put the offending object in pride of place on the mantlepiece in the hope that it fools her into thinking that it has been there all year.

Etymology: Play on Eyesore

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Embhellishment

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: emb/hell/ish/ment

Sentence: Sally prided herself on her home's sleek minimilist decor and cringed in horror every time she had to bedeck the bathroom in the fuzzy pink acrylic toilet embhellishments her best friend had given her.

Etymology: embellishment + hellish

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COMMENTS:

Nice - TJayzz, 2008-12-16: 13:14:00

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