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'Why are you putting that by the front door?'

DEFINITION: n., An ugly decorative item or article of clothing received from friends or relatives, which is kept stored away but ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice in anticipation of a return visit. v., To temporarily place an old, and perhaps unattractive gift in a place of honor.

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Eyestore

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: i-store

Sentence: When Dave's Auntie Joan had given him the hideous orange and green vase for Christmas last year he smiled broadly and thanked her very much telling her it was beautiful. However as soon as she had left he wrapped up the eyestore and put it straight into the loft. Auntie Joan is due to visit again this year on christmas day, so the plan is to get in the loft on Christmas eve and put the offending object in pride of place on the mantlepiece in the hope that it fools her into thinking that it has been there all year.

Etymology: Play on Eyesore

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Treasuredpest

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: tres shured pest

Sentence: It all started when Fred's father was in prison and made everyone items in the woodshop for Christmas. Most of the family got normal, carved items, like ducks or horses or dogs. But lucky Fred was given a large whittled evil-looking rat. It's beady eyes followed you around the room and the little kids were scared of it. When his Dad was paroled, he came each major holiday to visit with Fred and his family, and they would have to dig out "You dirty rat" as it became known to proudly display on the mantle. Fred's wife was afraid to dust it and it became a treasuredpest, much to the smug laughter of other family members. They all knew Fred got the treasuredpest because he had been the one to phone Crimestoppers and turn in the old man for passing counterfeit money in the first place. So much for anonymity!

Etymology: Treasured (something valued or feeling fondness for) & Pest (something persistently annoying) & Play on term Treasure Chest (a chest filled with valuables)

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Gifthoarse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Horroronour

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: horror-on-er

Sentence: Holly hauled the horrific heirloom out of the house and secreted it behind a heavyduty tarpaulin in the shed. She felt sure that Granny, at 94, would surely not live to see out another Christmas. This was likely the last time she would have to horroronour the hand-carved horologue.

Etymology: horror + honour

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COMMENTS:

Hysterical :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-16: 05:39:00

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Beautifake

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'byu ti fayk

Sentence: "Uncle Simone is coming over, Samantha. Time to beautifake yourself."..."No way, Dad. That plaid sweater is such an ugly beautifakation."

Etymology: beautify + fake

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Whitelephantasmagoria

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: whyt EL eh fan TAZ ma GOR ee ah

Sentence: Over the holidays, my house becomes a whitelephantasmagoria of sorts, as I rotate in and out the succession of useless and hideous items given to me over the years by various relatives. I have to keep a calendar of who is coming when, so that the correct one is on display on the correct day. God forbid I put out the horrid quilt made for my grandchildren by their grandmother, my EX-mother-in-law, when my CURRENT mother-in-law visits. She has an uncanny sense for such things.

Etymology: white elephant + phantasmagoria (a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined; a series or group of strange or bizarre images seen as if in a dream)

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COMMENTS:

Whitelephantasmagoria are kept in a special trunk...good word - Nosila, 2009-12-16: 22:15:00

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Sightelephant

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: site - el - e - fant

Sentence: Every gift that Jan's dad had given them seemed to be something he must have obtained as a "White Elephant" in a gift swap or, the only other explanation was that he shopped for them at flea markets. Whenever he came to their house, they had to quickly bring them up from storage so they could be seen....thus becoming a sightelephant until he left....

Etymology: Sight (range of vision, ability to see) + "White Elephant" (Gifts that are inexpensive, humorous or used items from home)

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Giftquester

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gift/kwes/ter

Sentence: We have a box in our closet in the family room where we giftquester all the awful presents our relatives have given us and can be retrived at a moments notice and be placed accordingly some where in sight.

Etymology: gift + sequester

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Artdecohno

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: art dek o no

Sentence: his mother had a huge collection of artdecohno on display, screaming aesthetic abuse from the mantlepiece,

Etymology: art deco, oh no

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Unbelievabauble

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: un-bee-leave-uh-baw-bull

Sentence: Martin could see Cheryl's car coming down his street. He immediately lept into action. Ordinarily, he would have been prepared and had the hand sequined tapestry of Liberace taken out and hung well in advance of her visit, but as this was an unannounced drop-in, he had to scurry to unpack the unbelievabauble from the depths of the cellar storage room.

Etymology: unbelievable + bauble ok... this was my submission last time too... but i couldn't think of another.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-12: 01:20:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie Thank you kabloozie ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-16: 00:08:00
Today's definition was suggested by kabloozie. Thank you kabloozie. ~ James