Verboticisms

Created by: grauntlet

Pronunciation: zam bIft

Sentence: His wife was beginning to serve tea to her mother when Duncan said: "where did you get this god-awful tea set? why dont you get the nice one?". His wife didn't have the time to warn him about the zombift.

Etymology: zombie + gift

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Created by: tonii

Pronunciation: /ug-ift-o-rate/

Sentence: If you don't ugiftorate that nasty green vase onto the coffee table, your sister-in-law will never speak to you again!

Etymology: ugly + gift+ decorate

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Created by: lavictoria

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Don't make fun of my sweater - it's a crapsake I got from my grandmother last year.

Etymology: crap+keepsake

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Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: ə-dôrn'moh-muhnt

Sentence: Prior to her mother-in-laws visit Lisa placed a bowl of glass grapes in the center of her coffee table. They were ugly, but they were a gift. So they were only going to be there an adornmoment.

Etymology: Adornment: Something that beautifies or adorns; an ornament. + Moment: an indefinitely short period of time.

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Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: tak eee tik

Sentence: They made a tackytical substitution over the fireplace in the living room. The singing fish replaced the Van Gogh for the duration of old uncle chuck's visit to town.

Etymology: tack tactic.

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Created by: drkesper

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Where is the box with our tempresents. Aunt Margret is visiting...

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

Perfect!!! - Niktionary, 2007-12-12: 12:05:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əgləmənt

Sentence: Bill and Joan have one of the prettiest Christmas trees in the neighborhood. The only thing that keeps it from being the best is the huge uglament they are obligated to hang prominently on their tree. It was a gift from Joan's mother. Mom made this atrocious bauble in her craft class from an egg carton and too much glitter.

Etymology: ugly (unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in appearance) + ornament (a thing used to adorn something but usually having no practical purpose)

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Created by: andrian

Pronunciation: blos-ta-tiz

Sentence: The man in the picture is blostatizing a toilet scrubber.

Etymology: This is the verb form. The noun is blostate.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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