Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: Christmas Season means family visits and redecorating to accommodate and proudly show off the bizarre previous gifts reveived from the visitors. When Wendy & Peter redecorated, they always included the present his Mother had given him and thought was a perfect addition to their lodge-like home, Billy-The-Singing-Big-Bass-Fish-Stuck-On-A-Wall-Plaque. She would repeatedly push the button and play "YMCA" over and over, laughing all the way. Luckily so many years of abuse had almost worn out his singing voice and Billy was now a gifthoarse.

Etymology: Gift (present) & Gifthorse (a gift (usually of inferior quality) that should be accepted uncritically) & Hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion)

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Created by: grauntlet

Pronunciation: zam bIft

Sentence: His wife was beginning to serve tea to her mother when Duncan said: "where did you get this god-awful tea set? why dont you get the nice one?". His wife didn't have the time to warn him about the zombift.

Etymology: zombie + gift

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: pre-sen-ten-tious

Sentence: The green and blue speckled ash tray that Sam's mother made was presententiously displayed whenever the old bat came to visit, since neither Eileen, her husband, nor anyone else they knew smoked, except for Sam's mother.

Etymology: present:gift + pretentious: receiving or demanding a distinction of merit, especially when not justified; making an outward show

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Created by: emdeejay

Pronunciation: Faye Solder

Sentence: Dear old Aunt Faye. She would be best described as having a heart of gold, being generous to a fault, and possessing a taste for the profoundly kitsch. The cupboards of her relatives were stacked to the brim with gifts ranging from the impossibly garish, to the patently absurd. This year, Jayne and John were taking their turn at hosting the family festive gathering. Some show of appreciation for Faye's presence would have to be shown, so after a short deliberation it was down with the Salvador Dali print, and up with "Big Mouth Billy Bass"! Fortunately the luncheon passed without major incident; the family chipper, overfed, and blissfully subdued. Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence fell over the mirthful murmur as Faye inquired: "John whatever became of that delightful water feature I gave you, or that fabulous paisley shirt?" Faceholder to the rescue! John strolled casually over to Billy Bass and just before pressing the button he remarked "Dear Aunt Faye! My shirt has been worn so often, it's at the tailors for a mend. But Billy you see is the pride of the mantle!" And the family, relieved, joined Billy in a rousing rendition of "Take me to the river"

Etymology: Placeholder: Object or entity employed until an adequate replacement can be found. Face (to save): action employed for the purpose of maintaining dignity.

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Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: 'byu ti fayk

Sentence: "Uncle Simone is coming over, Samantha. Time to beautifake yourself."..."No way, Dad. That plaid sweater is such an ugly beautifakation."

Etymology: beautify + fake

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: loo di tee

Sentence: Every Christmas, Jethro's Mom would arrive for her annual visit and he and his wife wouud be forced to hang up her gift to them. It was a black velvet painting of Santa sitting on a toilet and it was the height of loodity to them and a source of hilarity to others who happened to visit.

Etymology: Loo (toilet) & Lewd (rude & suggestive)& Oddity (unusual)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: rəglē

Sentence: It was a wedding gift from Aunt Martha. It’s hideous. Nonetheless with her impending visit, the handmade rugly thing is front and center in the foyer. As long as it is on the floor, the dogs insist on entering and exiting the back door.

Etymology: rug (a floor covering of shaggy or woven material, typically not extending over the entire floor) + ugly (unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in appearance)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/tens/gift/fie

Sentence: Quick, we'd better intensgiftfy the weeping madonna by taking her out from behind the couch and seating her at the table.

Etymology: intensify + gift

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: rez-ure-REG-ahl-ee-uh

Sentence: Babs and Jake always greeted the holidays with excitement and dread. With extended family coming to visit, these reunions often degenerated into verbal slug fests. Babs would prepare the mandatory dishes, and Jake's job was to break out the RESURREGALIA...those tacky gifts and mementoes which would have been endearing if they weren't SO ugly and tasteless. Jake was especially fond of Aunt Lydia's "Sceptre of Authority"- a self-contained toilet accesory with disturbingly phallic qualities which kept everyone laughing well into the wee hours. Bottoms up!

Etymology: RESURREct+reGALIA=RESURREGALIA.........RESURRECT:to bring to view, attention, or use again,to raise from the dead;back-formation from resurrection-1772......REGALIA:: the emblems, symbols, or paraphernalia indicative of royalty,decorations or insignia,special dress or trappings;Medieval Latin, from Latin, neuter plural of regalis-1540

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COMMENTS:

Re(as)suringly regal resurrection complete with elegant use of Latin. Very nice! - dochanne, 2008-12-16: 03:00:00

Brings back so many memories. I like it. - Mustang, 2008-12-16: 21:00:00

Good word...been there done that! - Nosila, 2008-12-16: 22:16:00

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