Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Slactor
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore
Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.
Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress
Spectraitor
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur
Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.
Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)
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COMMENTS:
Wow! I admire the way you select words and put them together in your sentence and verboticisms so that we don't just read and understand ... they also evoke feelings and emotions ... of all kinds. Not only is your sentence and word right on the definition, but evokes that antipathy we all feel when it happens. Outstanding verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:32:00
Cleverly constructed word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:49:00
...now if he could only get the competition to pay him for sabotaging the meetings. Hmmm. Nice word! - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00
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Offassoffender
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er
Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.
Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,
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COMMENTS:
That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00
Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00
Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00
Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00
Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00
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Poohpoohbah
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: poōpoōbä
Sentence: Bob attends meetings as directed. That doesn’t mean he feels the need to contribute anything useful. He is the self-appointed poohpoohbah of the conference. If anybody makes a suggestion he will begrudging look up from his Blackberry long enough to utter something like ”That won’t work” or ”That’s a stupid idea” and go back to ignoring the proceedings.
Etymology: Pooh-pooh (dismiss (an idea or suggestion) as being foolish or impractical) + Pooh-bah (a person having much influence or holding many offices at the same time, esp. one perceived as pompously self-important)
Participaint
Created by: karenanne
Pronunciation: par TISS ih paynt
Sentence: She isn't much of a participant in office meetings - more of a participaint, as in, she ain't contributing a whole lot. She mostly plays the Pac-Man game that Google put up free as a Google Doodle for Pac-Man's 30th anniversary. (Right, like you've never heard of it.) I guess she thinks we don't hear the munching sounds coming from her IPhone....
Etymology: participant + ain't
Blunderachiever
Created by: Tigger
Pronunciation: /BLUN-der-uh-chee-ver/
Sentence: Scott was a consistent blunderachiever at work. Last week he brought his newpaper to the project meeting, read the comics, and he even laughed out loud a few times during the status review. Then he started on his crossword puzzle — he leaned over and whispered to Jennifer "Psst, what's a 4-letter word for 'silence'?" and when she told him to "Hush!" he just just nodded and said, "Hey, thanks."
Etymology: Blunder - to move or act blindly, stupidly (from Old Norse, blundra "shut one's eyes") + Underachiever - a person who performs below expectations (under "below" & achieve "attain through effort")
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COMMENTS:
Scott was no doubt suffering from delusions of adequacy. He should consider taking up farming where he'd no doubt be truly outstanding in his field. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:35:00
Scott was once a pasture tending his flock, but he was vergerly a nave and they all flocked off. - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:41:00
I admire and enjoy the chuckles your witty sentence and word brings. I always learn a little something from your etymology when you include the word's country of origin. As always, very nice creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:00:00
Amusing sentence; nice word, too - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:52:00
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Procrasturbate
Created by: youmustvotenato
Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate
Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.
Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.
Illoiterite
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite
Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Thurgood typically came to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his girly magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.
Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)
Muteinear
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: myoot in eer
Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!
Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)
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COMMENTS:
great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:
Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin
As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.
But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.
Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.
I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.
Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.
I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.
I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.
Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.
I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.
A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.
I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!
purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James