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'Computer programmers do not make mistakes.'

DEFINITION: n. A computer programmer who corrects software problems by bugging the users, rather than debugging the software. v. To pinpoint the blame for any defects in a product, especially a software product which you have created, on "illogical" end-users.

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Verboticisms

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Progrimist

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: pro-grim-ist

Sentence: Victor the Progrimist was scheduled to do his rounds on the floor at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays. The employees all held a meeting to discuss what problems they had beforehand so they would be prepared for his sarcastic and abusive ways and attitude. They even took a poll to see who's problem would probably attract the most ire and ridicule from him. Every once in a while they would concoct a fake IT problem just to see him react if there was not many issues to discuss.

Etymology: Program + grim +ist

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Computerpogromer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kom pew ter po grom er

Sentence: Ivan the Terrible was the scourge of the Company because he ran his own personal little empire in the IT Dept. He terrorized the quasi-technical employees and carried out a reign of terror as a computerpogromer to the masses, making them fear turning on their computers each morning. Like all despots though, he was overthrown when the company outsourced his job overseas, in an effort to save money and lives.

Etymology: Computer Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)& Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group (especially Jews)

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Developastard

Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: duh-vel-op-AHS-turd

Sentence: "It's crashing when I hit the spacebar!", screamed Ms. Yewser. "That's probably because you've damaged my software by mashing the return button one too many times!" was Arman Gheddon's reply. Being a developastard of considerably little patience, Arman then simply left her office.

Etymology: developer: as in, software developer + bastard: insulting term of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous.

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Theebugger

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: dee buh gur

Sentence: Verily I say unto thee, if yon bugger of a theebugger shouldst approach thee, flee with the greatest urgency, lest he bug thee further.

Etymology: debug, bugger, thee

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COMMENTS:

your sentences always make me laugh - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-14: 14:07:00

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Technillogicrat

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tech - neh - LODJ - uh - crat

Sentence: Having an overblown ego and chutzpah to match, Cranston was a technillogicrat in the extreme who would never admit ignorance but would always blame everyone and everything else for things he could not remedy.

Etymology: Blend of 'technical' and 'illogical' with suffix '-crat'...member of a dominant class

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Buggle

Created by: jrogan

Pronunciation: bug-gull

Sentence: Jonathan was a real buggle and depended on user feedback to make sure all his software worked as expected... Whatever they said he'd feed it back to them as user errors.

Etymology: bug + gle

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Itsk

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: I-tisk

Sentence: When Susan's screen went black she dreaded having to call the crabby ITsk guy but she was stymied. The all-knowing geek strolled into the office with his short sleeved shirt, coffee cup and smarmy attitude, looked at the wall where someone had accdentally kicked out the plug. He stood there with the plug in his hand, tsking, then made a huge show of plugging it in. "Please check the plug before you call next time," he snarled, and wafted out of the office.

Etymology: IT: pronounced I - T is the acronym for Informational Technologist + Tsk: sucking sound used to express disappointment or sympathy.

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Progcastigator

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: prog/cass/ti/gay/tor

Sentence: Many software developers are progcastigators who put off reworking their programs and instead berate users.

Etymology: programmer + castigate (reprimand, berate) + procrastinator

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Softwarespecialass

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: soft ware spesh ial ass

Sentence: Hank's new income tax software’s many glitches prompted him to call technical support. However, the softwarespecialass maintained his program was flawless. He suggested Hank give the software another try while completing another random task, such as juggling oranges or counting sheep.

Etymology: From software specialist and ass.

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Pogrommer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: poe grom mer

Sentence: Gerd the Nerd, King of the Keys, WiFi Art Thou was on his usual grumpy morning rounds. It was always demeaning for a man of his superior intellect and obvious supreme being status to have to help the peons in data entry sort their miniscule problems. And so he conducted his morning pogrommer act, successfully designed to terrify and cower. But when he deigned to enter the murky waters of the call centre, he was blinded by the beauty of the end-user. She had long gold plaits and looked so helpless and vulnerable, so he went gently on her. He found himself thinking of her all day and dreamed that night that his Big Fat Geek Wedding would soon be a reality.

Etymology: Pogrom (organized persecution of an ethnic group, in this case, blonde end-users) & Programmer (a person who designs and writes and tests computer programs)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-05-14: 00:03:02
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-06-26: 00:00:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James

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