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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Assistocramp

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation:

Sentence: That girl was so hot that I had an assistocramp and shut her purse in the car door.

Etymology: assistance + cramp

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Oafsistance

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: oaf-sis-tins

Sentence: "Let me be of oafsistance" were the last words she heard before sitting down in the chair that was no longer there.

Etymology: oaf, assistance

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COMMENTS:

petaj Oaffer heavens sakes - petaj, 2007-10-26: 09:22:00

funny - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-26: 12:06:00

Clever! - mryder, 2007-10-26: 15:28:00

Ilike it a lot. Good sentence,too! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:49:00

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Harmoanious

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: harm/o/nee/us

Sentence:

Etymology: harmonious + harm + maon

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Missistance

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: mis-sis-tans

Sentence: When Cindy dropped her pencil Fred bent down to pick it up for her. The problem was that Cindy also bent to get it, and Fred ended up headbutting her in the nose. He's since learned not to offer his missistance to others.

Etymology: miss+assistance miss (To fail to accomplish or achieve) assistance (Aid, help)

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Oopdonk

Created by: wordslikevenom

Pronunciation: Oup-don-k

Sentence: In the parallel universe, Sir Walter wasn't so lucky. Having laid his cloak over a puddle for the Queen to step onto so that she wouldn't muddy her feet, little did he realise it was well over 3 metres deep ..."Oopdonk!" went the crowd.

Etymology: Oops - an expression of surprise or feeling sorry about a mistake or slight accident. Donk (onomatopoeia) - Comedic knocking noise.

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Flubanthropy

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: His act of flubanthropy not only resulted in a wet coat, it sent her to the emergency room with a sprained ankle.

Etymology: flub+philanthropy

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Dorkalert

Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: Dork-Alert

Sentence: Once again, she fell victim of a Dorkalert.

Etymology:

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Chivalwreck

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: shi val rek

Sentence: I tried to help the old lady across the street, but I was a complete chivalwreck when I got my foot run over, and she dropped her groceries.

Etymology: Chivalry + Wreck

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Oopsamaritan

hooterbug

Created by: hooterbug

Pronunciation: oops/sə mer′ə tən

Sentence: I had a hard time looking concerned when the spinning door trapped the head of the Oopsamaritan that had so gallantly held the door for me.

Etymology: Oops! + Samaritan (A compassionate person who unselfishly helps others)

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:18:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James