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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Assistocramp

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation:

Sentence: That girl was so hot that I had an assistocramp and shut her purse in the car door.

Etymology: assistance + cramp

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Clumourteous

Created by: vnamdoc

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Negehelp

Entombor2

Created by: Entombor2

Pronunciation: negg eyy help

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Doomerang

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: doōmərang

Sentence: Wendel tried once again to do the gracious thing. As he attempted to help an older woman carry a heavy bag of groceries to her car only to trip and scatter the contents across the pavement. He would have stayed and helped her clean up the mess but she seemed much more intent on beating him with her cane than retrieving her broken eggs. Once again he found himself to be an expert at creating doomerangs, those deeds that always find a way to come back and boot you in the seat.

Etymology: doom (death, destruction, or some other terrible fate) + boomerang (a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower)

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COMMENTS:

great sentence - bookowl, 2008-09-24: 13:44:00

Nice word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:21:00

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Polchumpite

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: puhl-chuhmp-ahyt

Sentence: He wanted to offer his sobbing co-worker a tissue, and as he fumbled around to fetch one he mistakenly handed her his used up snot-ridden one thus adding himself to the roster of office polchumpites.

Etymology: polite + chump (as in oaf, klutz))

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Shrivalry

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sh riv al ree

Sentence: His attempt at chivalry quickly turned into shrivalry as the revolving crushed his pride and other more sentitive bits

Etymology: chivalry, shrivel

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COMMENTS:

ouch! - very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:15:00

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Kinddesirity

Created by: greenbree

Pronunciation: ka/in/de/sai/ri/ti

Sentence: yesterday my boyfriend do a kindesirity thing, opening the door of the car for me.

Etymology: kind+desire

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Backsquire

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: BAK-skwyre

Sentence: Alex, ever the backsquire, spread out his coat for his date to cross a puddle, only to put her in the way of the spray of a speeding car.

Etymology: backfire + squire (a gentleman)

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Missistance

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: mis-sis-tans

Sentence: When Cindy dropped her pencil Fred bent down to pick it up for her. The problem was that Cindy also bent to get it, and Fred ended up headbutting her in the nose. He's since learned not to offer his missistance to others.

Etymology: miss+assistance miss (To fail to accomplish or achieve) assistance (Aid, help)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James