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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Goofinice

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Goof-E-nice

Sentence: He was going to put his coat over the puddle when he goofiniced and stepped on his shoelace and landed in the puddle instead.

Etymology: Goof - to make a mistake, + nice - to be kind to another person.

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Misstention

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: miss ten shun

Sentence: Leonard always meant well, but in his hurry to impress the fairer sex, his good deeds turned into the misstention kind. His awkward attempts at basic gallantry often came back to bite him. For instance, he tried to impress Mary Jane, the cute new receptionist by holding the revolving door open, only to get his head caught in it. Then when they got up to the office, he leaned on the wall to talk to her and set off the fire alarm. The final misstention was when he bought her a nice hot latte and accidently spilled it all over her new dress, computer keyboard and important report the boss was waiting on. Yes, sometimes the road to Hell is indeed paved with misstentions...

Etymology: Miss (fail to perceive or to catch with the senses or the mind;fail to reach or get to) & Intention (an act of intending; a volition that you intend to carry out;an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions)

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Clumsyhurl

vmalcolm

Created by: vmalcolm

Pronunciation: /'klʌmzihɜ:rl/

Sentence: In an attempt to be a gentleman, poor Harry ended up committing an act of clumsyhurl...

Etymology: CLUMSYHURL. From Clumsy + Hurl

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Benevoloser

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bənevəloōzər

Sentence: Despite his illusions, Charley is a benevoloser. When Cindy broke up with her boyfriend he envisioned himself as her knight in shining armor. He had her over for a gourmet meal where he started by spilling wine on her and ended by tripping and knocking her off her chair. Instead of sweeping her off her feet and winning her heart, he knocked her to the floor and sat on her spleen.

Etymology: benevolent (well meaning and kindly) + loser (failure)

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Beaujest

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: bo/jest

Sentence: My beau geste quickly turned into a beaujest as I slipped on the ice trying to help an elderly lady across the street. She fractured her hip and I bruised my ego.

Etymology: beau geste (gracious gesture) + jest

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:28:00

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Benefracture

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ben-uh-FRAK-cher

Sentence: Roxie was a tender-hearted tryplease, who sincerely shambled her way through life. And though her intentions remained pure and noble, her saintretemps and benefractures were often plain scary. In the end, to kin and kith alike, she became a must-to-avoid.

Etymology: Benefracture: blend of benefactor & fracture - " when good intentions comes apart or unstuck." Saintretemps: blend of saint & contretemps-"hitch"

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COMMENTS:

Sweet word OZZIEBOB! You long time-verbotomists are really creative with your words. For me, its hard to stay away from the thesaurus! - Kevcom, 2007-10-28: 00:23:00

I did this one time -- A female coworker dropped a paper by the printer and, trying to be gentlemanly, I quickly bent down to grab it (as she was also) and 'benefractured' her glasses. :/ - Tigger, 2007-11-06: 17:41:00

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Assuccour

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: assuc cour

Sentence: Fred saw his crush and in his dash to be chivalrous he committed a dastardly assuccour. Fred finds himself in the middle of an assuccouring just about everyday; an assuccouring Fred is in his element. Fred doesn't feel right about his day if he hasn't had assuccoured at least once. Assuccourism is sweeping the country as closet geeks finally venture from monitor light to seek adventure and love.

Etymology: Ass (a fool) & succour (to assist)

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Shrivalry

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sh riv al ree

Sentence: His attempt at chivalry quickly turned into shrivalry as the revolving crushed his pride and other more sentitive bits

Etymology: chivalry, shrivel

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COMMENTS:

ouch! - very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:15:00

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Kinddesirity

Created by: greenbree

Pronunciation: ka/in/de/sai/ri/ti

Sentence: yesterday my boyfriend do a kindesirity thing, opening the door of the car for me.

Etymology: kind+desire

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Mannerd

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: man-nerd

Sentence: Even though Sal was a brilliant rocket scientist, he was totally inept in social situations, especially when it came to his approach to women. In his dreams he was dashing, witty and chivalrous, but the reality was that he was well-mannerd because his attempts to be polite and helpful were so awkward.

Etymology: mannered (well) polite, courteous + nerd: socially inept

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James