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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Zeable

Created by: KenM2

Pronunciation: zea-bull

Sentence: Nice zeabull you pulled back there, wonder if you should have offered to pick up the old lady you dropped while helping her to cross the street.

Etymology: Zeal+Stumble

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Chivnorant

Created by: MithrilShadow

Pronunciation: Shiv-noor-ant

Sentence: Mike's chivnorant attempt to hold the door open for his girl friend ended up with him pinned under the waiter cart, that came through the door right at that moment.

Etymology: from: Chivalry: gallant or distinguished gentlemen. And Ignorant: resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence

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Polchumpite

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: puhl-chuhmp-ahyt

Sentence: He wanted to offer his sobbing co-worker a tissue, and as he fumbled around to fetch one he mistakenly handed her his used up snot-ridden one thus adding himself to the roster of office polchumpites.

Etymology: polite + chump (as in oaf, klutz))

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Circumschizspic

Created by: NeuroGlyph

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Shrivalry

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sh riv al ree

Sentence: His attempt at chivalry quickly turned into shrivalry as the revolving crushed his pride and other more sentitive bits

Etymology: chivalry, shrivel

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COMMENTS:

ouch! - very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:15:00

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Benevoloser

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bənevəloōzər

Sentence: Despite his illusions, Charley is a benevoloser. When Cindy broke up with her boyfriend he envisioned himself as her knight in shining armor. He had her over for a gourmet meal where he started by spilling wine on her and ended by tripping and knocking her off her chair. Instead of sweeping her off her feet and winning her heart, he knocked her to the floor and sat on her spleen.

Etymology: benevolent (well meaning and kindly) + loser (failure)

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Behalfgaffe

Created by: Wordfanne

Pronunciation:

Sentence: When Roland stood up to allow a pregnant, fellow-bus-rider his seat, his behalfgaffe of stepping on another woman's skirt hem, pulling its waist to her knees, rather nullified his desired "effect".

Etymology:

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Urbean

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ur/bean

Sentence: John's attempt to be urbane, chivalrous, courteous, polite and just plain well-mannered became urbean when his head got jammed in the doorway helping a damsel in distress.

Etymology: urbane + Mr. Bean

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COMMENTS:

Would never have thought to go down the Mr. Bean road. Great word! - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-26: 19:01:00

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Oopdonk

Created by: wordslikevenom

Pronunciation: Oup-don-k

Sentence: In the parallel universe, Sir Walter wasn't so lucky. Having laid his cloak over a puddle for the Queen to step onto so that she wouldn't muddy her feet, little did he realise it was well over 3 metres deep ..."Oopdonk!" went the crowd.

Etymology: Oops - an expression of surprise or feeling sorry about a mistake or slight accident. Donk (onomatopoeia) - Comedic knocking noise.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James