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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Assuccour

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: assuc cour

Sentence: Fred saw his crush and in his dash to be chivalrous he committed a dastardly assuccour. Fred finds himself in the middle of an assuccouring just about everyday; an assuccouring Fred is in his element. Fred doesn't feel right about his day if he hasn't had assuccoured at least once. Assuccourism is sweeping the country as closet geeks finally venture from monitor light to seek adventure and love.

Etymology: Ass (a fool) & succour (to assist)

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Jobole

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: JA-BOWL

Sentence: As Dan had been planning for months, he finally decided to take his chance when suddenly he got his neck caught in the dore, all the while while jaboling Diane.

Etymology:

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Shrivalry

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sh riv al ree

Sentence: His attempt at chivalry quickly turned into shrivalry as the revolving crushed his pride and other more sentitive bits

Etymology: chivalry, shrivel

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COMMENTS:

ouch! - very funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:15:00

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Chivalwreck

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: shi val rek

Sentence: I tried to help the old lady across the street, but I was a complete chivalwreck when I got my foot run over, and she dropped her groceries.

Etymology: Chivalry + Wreck

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Gallnerdant

Created by: looseball

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After that gallnerdant attempt,I dipped my head an ran.

Etymology:

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Genteelgaffe

Created by: thebaron

Pronunciation:

Sentence: If it wasn't for his genteelgaffe, she might have spoken to him.

Etymology:

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Galahadaglitch

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: gal-ah-had-uh-glich

Sentence: It always seems that the harder Freeman tries to be a charming knight in shining armor the more often he experiences a new galahadaglitch, where his best efforts backfire and leave him looking like the dork that he actually is.

Etymology: Blend of galahad, had, and glitch.

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COMMENTS:

nice word - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-24: 13:16:00

Very good. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:18:00

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Doomerang

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: doōmərang

Sentence: Wendel tried once again to do the gracious thing. As he attempted to help an older woman carry a heavy bag of groceries to her car only to trip and scatter the contents across the pavement. He would have stayed and helped her clean up the mess but she seemed much more intent on beating him with her cane than retrieving her broken eggs. Once again he found himself to be an expert at creating doomerangs, those deeds that always find a way to come back and boot you in the seat.

Etymology: doom (death, destruction, or some other terrible fate) + boomerang (a curved flat piece of wood that can be thrown so as to return to the thrower)

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COMMENTS:

great sentence - bookowl, 2008-09-24: 13:44:00

Nice word - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:21:00

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Benefracture

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ben-uh-FRAK-cher

Sentence: Roxie was a tender-hearted tryplease, who sincerely shambled her way through life. And though her intentions remained pure and noble, her saintretemps and benefractures were often plain scary. In the end, to kin and kith alike, she became a must-to-avoid.

Etymology: Benefracture: blend of benefactor & fracture - " when good intentions comes apart or unstuck." Saintretemps: blend of saint & contretemps-"hitch"

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COMMENTS:

Sweet word OZZIEBOB! You long time-verbotomists are really creative with your words. For me, its hard to stay away from the thesaurus! - Kevcom, 2007-10-28: 00:23:00

I did this one time -- A female coworker dropped a paper by the printer and, trying to be gentlemanly, I quickly bent down to grab it (as she was also) and 'benefractured' her glasses. :/ - Tigger, 2007-11-06: 17:41:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James