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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Fewtility

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: fyoo til lit tee

Sentence: Fewbert's heroic gestures towards his fewture wife, Fewgenia, were often attempts in fewtility. Like when he placed his coat over a puddle in the street for her, only to discover that it actually covered an open manhole. Or when he chased her cat FewFew through hill & dale, caught it, was scratched to death and brought it home to her, only to find the real FewFew happily sitting in front of the hearth at home. Poor Fewbert, his fewtile efforts made Fewgenia think that a fewture with Fewbert might be fewtile, at least until after he passed fewberty.

Etymology: Few (an indefinite but relatively small number) & Futility (uselessness as a consequence of having no practical result)

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COMMENTS:

Beware the fewmious bandersnatch.... - Mustang, 2008-09-25: 00:02:00

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Assuccour

zxvasdf

Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: assuc cour

Sentence: Fred saw his crush and in his dash to be chivalrous he committed a dastardly assuccour. Fred finds himself in the middle of an assuccouring just about everyday; an assuccouring Fred is in his element. Fred doesn't feel right about his day if he hasn't had assuccoured at least once. Assuccourism is sweeping the country as closet geeks finally venture from monitor light to seek adventure and love.

Etymology: Ass (a fool) & succour (to assist)

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Negehelp

Entombor2

Created by: Entombor2

Pronunciation: negg eyy help

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Chivalgaffe

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: shiv-uh l-gaf

Sentence: Robert commited a chivalgaffe when he closed the car door on his dates leg.

Etymology: ME: chivalrie + F: gaffe

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COMMENTS:

Also chivalwrong - milorush, 2007-10-26: 09:24:00

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Gallahadabooboo

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Gallahad-ah-boo boo

Sentence: No knight in shining armor, Harvey committed a gallahadabooboo when he introduced his new bride as his 'first wife'.

Etymology: The gallant Sir Gallahad + boo boo or 'blunder'

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COMMENTS:

Good effort- harvey's no galahad more a galah! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-28: 02:30:00

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Jesture

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: jest chur

Sentence: While trying to impress Inga on their first date, Jeremy used all his polite charms to ensure she thought him a true gentleman. Allowing her to go first buit trying to stay with her, he got caught in the fast moving doorway. Although his intention was good, his attention was not and he got caught in the door. "Son of a gun", she thought. "His jesture proved to me that he does not know how to handle a revolver. I guess he is not quite of the calibre I thought he should be".

Etymology: Jest (act in a funny or teasing way;activity characterized by good humor)& Gesture ( something done as an indication of intention;show, express or direct through movement)

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Chivnorant

Created by: MithrilShadow

Pronunciation: Shiv-noor-ant

Sentence: Mike's chivnorant attempt to hold the door open for his girl friend ended up with him pinned under the waiter cart, that came through the door right at that moment.

Etymology: from: Chivalry: gallant or distinguished gentlemen. And Ignorant: resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence

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Missistance

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: mis-sis-tans

Sentence: When Cindy dropped her pencil Fred bent down to pick it up for her. The problem was that Cindy also bent to get it, and Fred ended up headbutting her in the nose. He's since learned not to offer his missistance to others.

Etymology: miss+assistance miss (To fail to accomplish or achieve) assistance (Aid, help)

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Chivalwreck

Created by: QuantumMechanic

Pronunciation: shi val rek

Sentence: I tried to help the old lady across the street, but I was a complete chivalwreck when I got my foot run over, and she dropped her groceries.

Etymology: Chivalry + Wreck

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Urbean

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ur/bean

Sentence: John's attempt to be urbane, chivalrous, courteous, polite and just plain well-mannered became urbean when his head got jammed in the doorway helping a damsel in distress.

Etymology: URBEAN - noun - from URBANE (polite, refined and often elegant in manner) + MR. BEAN

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James