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'Let me hold the door for you...'

DEFINITION: n., A gallant gesture which does not produce the desired effect because of poor execution. v., To offer a small gesture of assistance, which backfires as you trip over your own kind intentions.

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Verboticisms

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Missistance

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: mis-sis-tans

Sentence: When Cindy dropped her pencil Fred bent down to pick it up for her. The problem was that Cindy also bent to get it, and Fred ended up headbutting her in the nose. He's since learned not to offer his missistance to others.

Etymology: miss+assistance miss (To fail to accomplish or achieve) assistance (Aid, help)

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Polchumpite

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: puhl-chuhmp-ahyt

Sentence: He wanted to offer his sobbing co-worker a tissue, and as he fumbled around to fetch one he mistakenly handed her his used up snot-ridden one thus adding himself to the roster of office polchumpites.

Etymology: polite + chump (as in oaf, klutz))

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Kindmiss

Created by: tumblebehr

Pronunciation: kind miss

Sentence: His kindmiss tends to dis attract women.

Etymology:

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Chivowry

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: shiv-ow-ree

Sentence: The act of Danny helping Kim out of the car and throwing his back out in the process proved to be another fine example of chivowry

Etymology: chivalry + owwww

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Negehelp

Entombor2

Created by: Entombor2

Pronunciation: negg eyy help

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Urbean

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ur/bean

Sentence: John's attempt to be urbane, chivalrous, courteous, polite and just plain well-mannered became urbean when his head got jammed in the doorway helping a damsel in distress.

Etymology: URBEAN - noun - from URBANE (polite, refined and often elegant in manner) + MR. BEAN

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COMMENTS:

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-09-25: 18:22:00

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Jestugh

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jess-t-ure

Sentence: Harry had fancied Suzie for ages, so when he saw that she was having troube starting her car he swiftly offered to help. He began push the car and soon got it going , unfortunately he pushed so hard that he fell over and landed headfirst in a muddy puddle. As he stood up all he could here was Suzie's hysterical laughter, it was a good thing that his face was covered in mud so that she could not see his embarrassment.

Etymology: Jest(Joke)+ Ugh(an exclamation of horror) = Jestugh (play on gesture)

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Zeable

Created by: KenM2

Pronunciation: zea-bull

Sentence: Nice zeabull you pulled back there, wonder if you should have offered to pick up the old lady you dropped while helping her to cross the street.

Etymology: Zeal+Stumble

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Ineptsuavitis

Created by: mryder

Pronunciation: in-ept / swah-ve / itis

Sentence: Billy would have loved to open the door for the pretty girl; however his ineptsuavitis set in and he ended up getting himself trapped in the door.

Etymology: inept-ORIGIN originally in the sense unsuitable: from Latin ineptus, from in- ‘not’ + aptus ‘fitted. Suave-ORIGIN Latin suavis ‘agreeable’ itis (suffix)— ORIGIN from Greek -ites

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Majestiklutz

Created by: dredryder

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "It is a wonder he has any face left; he is so prone to majestiklution!"

Etymology: too obvious - "majestic" and "klutch" (a "klutz" who panics in a pinch)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-26: 04:21:00
After you. No after you. No after you. No after yooooooeeeeouwwww!

Kevcom - 2007-10-26: 07:38:00
Awesome cartoon James! That is so funny - I was almost dyin' of laughter of the expression on the guys face...

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 10:05:00
Thanks to Kevcom and Petaj for your hurteous thoughts and magnanimistakian clobbergestures ~ James

Lidipop - 2007-10-26: 10:19:00
I actually printed this one out...it's so good, well done!!!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-26: 17:46:00
We must not forget to thank ErWenn again for his generous courteslip. ~ James

purpleartichokes - 2007-10-26: 18:57:00
Yes, thank you ErWenn and James. Fabulous contributions from you two!

yellowbird - 2008-09-24: 11:49:00
Haven't we seen this definition before?

petaj - 2008-09-26: 04:19:00
Yep - looking forward to some new ones

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-23: 00:10:00
Today's definition was suggested by ErWenn. Thank you ErWenn. ~ James