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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Obligastory

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/storee

Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.

Etymology: obligatory + story

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Prostagrabgab

Created by: aayeye

Pronunciation: prŏs'tĭ-'grăb-găb

Sentence: Dr. Stinky would not shut up during my prostate exam. He definately has the gift of prostagrabgab.

Etymology: Postate+grab= prostate exam gab= chit chat during said exam

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Proprattlaction

Created by: jmckays

Pronunciation: pro-prattl-aktion

Sentence: The doctor's proprattlaction proved ineffective as the scope slid into an intimate location no one but myself and my closest lovers had gone before...

Etymology: professional; prattle; distraction

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Sedababble

Created by: tdhall56

Pronunciation: SED a bab bul

Sentence: Dr. House failed the class "Sedababble 101" in med school.

Etymology: sed(ative) babble

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Chatation

Created by: Juny1

Pronunciation: chat-eh-tion

Sentence: The doctor enjoyed the chatation, being done to the paitent

Etymology:

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Chatstract

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈtʃætˌstɹækt/

Sentence: At first, I thought she was flirting with me, but it turns out that the proctologist was just chatstracting.

Etymology: from chat + distract

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COMMENTS:

funny! - remistram, 2007-10-16: 10:05:00

ha ha - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

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Yaplacate

Created by: Kevcom

Pronunciation: Yeah-plaa-kate

Sentence: Mr. Smith, the family doctor of the Joneses, often yaplicated to his patients so that he could carry on in his torturous dentistry operations without recieving yelps and complaints from his patients.

Etymology: yap (talk), placate (sooth)

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COMMENTS:

Says it all! - FayeWord, 2007-10-17: 17:47:00

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Conpainzation

Created by: niko23

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Healspiel

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Heel-speel

Sentence: Until he met Dr Fang, Bob thought that Dr Payne's leechspeak was doctrivial. But after a few minutes with Fang, Bob soon realized that, despite all the healspiel, it hurts just as much to have a tooth extracted as it does to have one pulled.

Etymology: heal: to make better,well & spiel: plausible, glib talk; patter, line of gab. Doctrivial: blend of doctor, doctrine and trivial.

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COMMENTS:

Showoff, great job. - fourgirls, 2007-10-16: 09:59:00

how true - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

nice blending - scrabbelicious, 2007-10-18: 07:44:00

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Spitchat

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: spit-chat

Sentence: Harold hated having to spitchat with the dentist when he had a mouth full of drool from novicaine and dental instruments jammed under his gums.

Etymology: wordplay on chitchat: an informal conversation

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James