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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Jabbertalky

Created by: TheFlawlessWord

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "Beware the Jabbertalk, my twit! The hose that sucks, the drills that buzz! Beware the dental bird, and spit The voluminous cottonmouth fuzz!"

Etymology: Apologies to Lewis Carroll

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Jabwitter

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jabb-wit-er

Sentence: Dr B. Kindly always resorted to the tried and tested method of jabwitter to put his patients at ease while injecting them. He would ask them trivial questions, such as, where they were going for their holiday or what they intended to have for lunch to distract their attention away from the pain. After twenty years in the profession he found this was the best tactic to use on most people.

Etymology: Jab(a hypodermic injection) + Witter(to speak about trivial matters) = Jabwitter

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Mandrivel

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: man/dri/vel

Sentence:

Etymology: mandible (jaw bone) + drivel

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Spitchat

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: spit-chat

Sentence: Harold hated having to spitchat with the dentist when he had a mouth full of drool from novicaine and dental instruments jammed under his gums.

Etymology: wordplay on chitchat: an informal conversation

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Chatstract

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈtʃætˌstɹækt/

Sentence: At first, I thought she was flirting with me, but it turns out that the proctologist was just chatstracting.

Etymology: from chat + distract

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COMMENTS:

funny! - remistram, 2007-10-16: 10:05:00

ha ha - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

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Therapalaver

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: THAYR ah puh LAV er

Sentence: Believe it or not, the exercises for my burned hand weren't nearly as painful as the therapalaver I had to be subjected to during the treatments. At least talking about the record-setting snowfall in our area, how difficult it was to drive to the clinic, etc., gave me about two weeks off from listening to celebrity gossip....

Etymology: therapy + palaver (superfluous or idle talk)

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Afflictscussion

Created by: amandaprater

Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun

Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.

Etymology:

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Mediblather

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: medi-blathər

Sentence: The treatment was bad enough. The mediblather was about to make him scream. The only thing that was mildly distracting him from the pain was the thought of choking the shallow life out of this jabbermonkey.

Etymology: medical (of or relating to the science of medicine, or to the treatment of illness and injuries) + blather (talk long-windedly without making very much sense)

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Odilouge

Created by: e9b9t9

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Proprattlaction

Created by: jmckays

Pronunciation: pro-prattl-aktion

Sentence: The doctor's proprattlaction proved ineffective as the scope slid into an intimate location no one but myself and my closest lovers had gone before...

Etymology: professional; prattle; distraction

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James