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DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.
Verboticisms
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Medigab
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: med/i/gab
Sentence: Dentist's medigab is designed to move the patient's attention past the procedure so they will be somewhat more relaxed.
Etymology: MEDIGAB - noun - from - MEDICAL + GAB
Outerlocutor
Created by: Deirdre
Pronunciation:
Sentence:
Etymology: Form the word interlocutor, meaning a participant in a conversation.
Examoration
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: igzamôrāshən
Sentence: It was only being subjected to an examoration that William found out that Dr. Bob was a member of Toastmasters and due to deliver a speech that evening. Somehow he isn*t sure he is better off knowing everything he now knows about newts.
Etymology: examination (a detailed inspection or investigation) + oration (a formal speech, esp. one given on a ceremonial occasion)
Afflictscussion
Created by: amandaprater
Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun
Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.
Etymology:
Proprattlaction
Created by: jmckays
Pronunciation: pro-prattl-aktion
Sentence: The doctor's proprattlaction proved ineffective as the scope slid into an intimate location no one but myself and my closest lovers had gone before...
Etymology: professional; prattle; distraction
Jabberflossy
Created by: wordslikevenom
Pronunciation: Jab-ber-floss-ee
Sentence: The dental nurse yanked the tape from the spool and pulling it taut, sliced down into Dick's incisors, grinning as she sawed to-and-fro. He could taste the blood from his gums running down into the back of his mouth. "One, two! One, two! And through and through the vorpal floss went snicker-snack! She left him dead, and with his head she went galumphing back". As the jabberflossy flowed so did the puddle beneath Dick's seat ...
Etymology: Jabber - To talk rapidly, unintelligibly, or idly. Floss - dental floss
Nitrousyakside
Created by: mplsbohemian
Pronunciation: nye-truhs-YAK-syed
Sentence: Little did the dentist know that Alex could counter her nitrousyakside by talking even longer and more boringly than she.
Etymology: nitrous oxide (administered at the beginning of dental work to ease pain) + yak + bedside manner
Wompachat
Created by: danny
Pronunciation: wom-pa-chat
Sentence: The wompachat eased the dental patient.
Etymology: chat- a conversion
Qandaches
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kew and ayks
Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!
Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)
Jabwitter
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Jabb-wit-er
Sentence: Dr B. Kindly always resorted to the tried and tested method of jabwitter to put his patients at ease while injecting them. He would ask them trivial questions, such as, where they were going for their holiday or what they intended to have for lunch to distract their attention away from the pain. After twenty years in the profession he found this was the best tactic to use on most people.
Etymology: Jab(a hypodermic injection) + Witter(to speak about trivial matters) = Jabwitter
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James