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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Docquisition

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After checking my chart, the gynocologist began the docquisition.

Etymology: doctor+inquisition

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COMMENTS:

petaj Could almost be a tax audit. - petaj, 2007-10-16: 09:04:00

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Izeartless

Created by: brimuth

Pronunciation: is - art- less (is heartless)

Sentence: As soon as the the medico inserted the needle the izeartless smalltalk poured from his mouth.

Etymology:

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Jabjabber

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: jab-jab-bur

Sentence: The only thing worse than the jabjabber that commences when a doctor pokes, prods, or jabs you with an instrument, is the ensuing phybberish you're expected to respond to.

Etymology: jab, jabber

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COMMENTS:

I was expecting some jabbertalky when I saw the definition but I thought the jab would come from Rikbadboyee - good word purple - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 06:00:00

Ha! Jabbertalky was my first word, but I figured I'd leave it to someone else to make that jab first. - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-16: 09:33:00

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Faqsdicine

vmalcolm

Created by: vmalcolm

Pronunciation: /fæksdsin/

Sentence: While she was attending him, she engaged in a little faqsdicine to relax him a bit.

Etymology: FAQSDICINE. From FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) + Medicine (the science which relates to the prevention, cure, or alleviation of disease)

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Drivelish

Created by: Boomertoo

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The dental staff's drivelish did not distract him from anxiously awaiting the procedure.

Etymology:

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Therapalaver

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: THAYR ah puh LAV er

Sentence: Believe it or not, the exercises for my burned hand weren't nearly as painful as the therapalaver I had to be subjected to during the treatments. At least talking about the record-setting snowfall in our area, how difficult it was to drive to the clinic, etc., gave me about two weeks off from listening to celebrity gossip....

Etymology: therapy + palaver (superfluous or idle talk)

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Mediblather

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: medi-blathər

Sentence: The treatment was bad enough. The mediblather was about to make him scream. The only thing that was mildly distracting him from the pain was the thought of choking the shallow life out of this jabbermonkey.

Etymology: medical (of or relating to the science of medicine, or to the treatment of illness and injuries) + blather (talk long-windedly without making very much sense)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James