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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Denalangage

Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: denal-langage

Sentence: With her mouth open wide, she tried to learn the denalangage.

Etymology:

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Healspiel

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Heel-speel

Sentence: Until he met Dr Fang, Bob thought that Dr Payne's leechspeak was doctrivial. But after a few minutes with Fang, Bob soon realized that, despite all the healspiel, it hurts just as much to have a tooth extracted as it does to have one pulled.

Etymology: heal: to make better,well & spiel: plausible, glib talk; patter, line of gab. Doctrivial: blend of doctor, doctrine and trivial.

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COMMENTS:

Showoff, great job. - fourgirls, 2007-10-16: 09:59:00

how true - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

nice blending - scrabbelicious, 2007-10-18: 07:44:00

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Faqsdicine

vmalcolm

Created by: vmalcolm

Pronunciation: /fæksdsin/

Sentence: While she was attending him, she engaged in a little faqsdicine to relax him a bit.

Etymology: FAQSDICINE. From FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions) + Medicine (the science which relates to the prevention, cure, or alleviation of disease)

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Communicache

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kom myun i kayke

Sentence: Every time Eddy went to see his Dentist, Dr.Iva Payne, he had to endure their usual communicache exchange. She would communicate with him inane questions about the weather, politics and his family and he would endure the ache. He honestly did not know how she understood him, but after years of doing this, she could understand the answers of her victims, er patients.

Etymology: Communicate (transmit thoughts or feelings or information) & Ache (pain)

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Distractigab

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: di-strakt-ih-gab

Sentence: Part of medical training is a day of distractigab techniques, tips for safe topics and appropriate tone of voice. They generally pratice on squirrels and rats.

Etymology: distract + gab (yammer, chat)

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COMMENTS:

Love the word!!! So descriptive. - FayeWord, 2007-10-17: 17:47:00

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Hospitalitalk

Created by: Koekbroer

Pronunciation: hos.pit.al.lee.torque

Sentence:

Etymology: hospital, talk

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Shiberism

Created by: Jpwareham

Pronunciation: Shi/ber/ism

Sentence:

Etymology: Shi-random,berism- type of gibberous

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Jabjabber

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: jab-jab-bur

Sentence: The only thing worse than the jabjabber that commences when a doctor pokes, prods, or jabs you with an instrument, is the ensuing phybberish you're expected to respond to.

Etymology: jab, jabber

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COMMENTS:

I was expecting some jabbertalky when I saw the definition but I thought the jab would come from Rikbadboyee - good word purple - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 06:00:00

Ha! Jabbertalky was my first word, but I figured I'd leave it to someone else to make that jab first. - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-16: 09:33:00

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James