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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Chatstract

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈtʃætˌstɹækt/

Sentence: At first, I thought she was flirting with me, but it turns out that the proctologist was just chatstracting.

Etymology: from chat + distract

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COMMENTS:

funny! - remistram, 2007-10-16: 10:05:00

ha ha - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Mediblather

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: medi-blathər

Sentence: The treatment was bad enough. The mediblather was about to make him scream. The only thing that was mildly distracting him from the pain was the thought of choking the shallow life out of this jabbermonkey.

Etymology: medical (of or relating to the science of medicine, or to the treatment of illness and injuries) + blather (talk long-windedly without making very much sense)

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Denalangage

Created by: kimbo123

Pronunciation: denal-langage

Sentence: With her mouth open wide, she tried to learn the denalangage.

Etymology:

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Vexferous

Created by: alyssatassi

Pronunciation: vex/fer /us

Sentence: He was the most Vexfurus dentist as he shoved the drill in my mouth

Etymology: vex comes from the word vexatatious which means troubling the nerves or peace of mins ferus comes from vociferous which means loud and insistent.

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Dentachatter

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: dentachatər

Sentence: To avoid the dentachatter Ron would sometimes pretend to doze off. Even when he flinched the dentist allowed him to continue the ruse.

Etymology: dental (of or relating to the teeth) + chatter (talk rapidly or incessantly about trivial matters)

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Nitrousyakside

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: nye-truhs-YAK-syed

Sentence: Little did the dentist know that Alex could counter her nitrousyakside by talking even longer and more boringly than she.

Etymology: nitrous oxide (administered at the beginning of dental work to ease pain) + yak + bedside manner

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Snoozeloquate

Created by: pendraghon

Pronunciation: snüz-LO-qwate

Sentence: The dental tech snoozeloquated throughout my cleaning, boring me to tears.

Etymology: snooze (to sleep or nap)origin unknown; Loquate from Loquacious (wordy), Latin loquac-, loquax, from loqui to speak v. snoozeloquate, snoozeloquation, snoozeloquated n. snoozeloquator

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Distromain

Created by: lauren

Pronunciation: dis/tro/main

Sentence:

Etymology: dist ffrom distract, rom from 'from', and ain from pain.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James