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DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.
Verboticisms
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Afflictscussion
Created by: amandaprater
Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun
Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.
Etymology:
Prostagrabgab
Created by: aayeye
Pronunciation: prŏs'tĭ-'grăb-găb
Sentence: Dr. Stinky would not shut up during my prostate exam. He definately has the gift of prostagrabgab.
Etymology: Postate+grab= prostate exam gab= chit chat during said exam
Proprattlaction
Created by: jmckays
Pronunciation: pro-prattl-aktion
Sentence: The doctor's proprattlaction proved ineffective as the scope slid into an intimate location no one but myself and my closest lovers had gone before...
Etymology: professional; prattle; distraction
Unnecesspeak
Created by: scrabbelicious
Pronunciation: Un-ne-ciss-speak
Sentence: I longed for a speedy outcome which I knew was unlikely due to a constant barrage of unnecesspeak.
Etymology: Unnecessary Speak.
Qandaches
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kew and ayks
Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!
Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)
Medigab
Created by: Stevenson0
Pronunciation: med/i/gab
Sentence: Dentist's medigab is designed to move the patient's attention past the procedure so they will be somewhat more relaxed.
Etymology: MEDIGAB - noun - from - MEDICAL + GAB
Yackattack
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak
Sentence: When Bertrand went in for his dental appointments he knew he was going to be bombarded with a yackattack from the dentist who never seemed to run out of inane questions and commments.
Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about (a task) or go to work on (a thing) vigorously)
Spitchat
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: spit-chat
Sentence: Harold hated having to spitchat with the dentist when he had a mouth full of drool from novicaine and dental instruments jammed under his gums.
Etymology: wordplay on chitchat: an informal conversation
Vexferous
Created by: alyssatassi
Pronunciation: vex/fer /us
Sentence: He was the most Vexfurus dentist as he shoved the drill in my mouth
Etymology: vex comes from the word vexatatious which means troubling the nerves or peace of mins ferus comes from vociferous which means loud and insistent.
Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James