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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Fartalite

Created by: connor

Pronunciation: far-ta-lite

Sentence: This doctor fartalites while working on my mouth.

Etymology:

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Medigab

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: med/i/gab

Sentence: Dentist's medigab is designed to move the patient's attention past the procedure so they will be somewhat more relaxed.

Etymology: MEDIGAB - noun - from - MEDICAL + GAB

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Yaplacate

Created by: Kevcom

Pronunciation: Yeah-plaa-kate

Sentence: Mr. Smith, the family doctor of the Joneses, often yaplicated to his patients so that he could carry on in his torturous dentistry operations without recieving yelps and complaints from his patients.

Etymology: yap (talk), placate (sooth)

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COMMENTS:

Says it all! - FayeWord, 2007-10-17: 17:47:00

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Mandrivel

Created by: porsche

Pronunciation: man/dri/vel

Sentence:

Etymology: mandible (jaw bone) + drivel

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Eyedoangiveashitchat

Created by: Lolagrrl

Pronunciation: Eye-doan-give-ay-shit-chat

Sentence: The two convention-goers made eyedoangiveashitchat while waiting for the elevator to take them to Karaoke night at the hotel's fireside lounge. Neither were enriched by the experience

Etymology: The name says it all... ;-)

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COMMENTS:

Btw: I consider singing Karaoke at a Hotel lounge to be an intimate, awkward AND painful procedure. ;D - Lolagrrl, 2007-10-18: 15:31:00

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Stumblemumble

Created by: sarabriggs

Pronunciation: stum-ble-mum-ble

Sentence: this situation couldn't be any worse because you have at least twenty fingers in your mouth, including grinding power tools that cant touch your toungue. so talking in the back of your throat is all that can really go on. maybe you should become a ventriliquist and learn how to speak correctly without moving your lips. stumble and mumble over all the words you can get out you ventriliquist you.

Etymology:

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Nitrousyakside

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: nye-truhs-YAK-syed

Sentence: Little did the dentist know that Alex could counter her nitrousyakside by talking even longer and more boringly than she.

Etymology: nitrous oxide (administered at the beginning of dental work to ease pain) + yak + bedside manner

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Docquisition

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After checking my chart, the gynocologist began the docquisition.

Etymology: doctor+inquisition

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COMMENTS:

petaj Could almost be a tax audit. - petaj, 2007-10-16: 09:04:00

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Anestactic

Created by: simoneshin

Pronunciation: an-uhs-tak-tik

Sentence: boy, nurse hilda had some good anestactics while doctor bob gently severed my toe. she kept on talking about that blueberry-lime cheesecake...

Etymology: anesthesia + tactic

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl good one. - mrskellyscl, 2010-02-11: 10:38:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James