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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Unnecesspeak

Created by: scrabbelicious

Pronunciation: Un-ne-ciss-speak

Sentence: I longed for a speedy outcome which I knew was unlikely due to a constant barrage of unnecesspeak.

Etymology: Unnecessary Speak.

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Whynecology

Created by: lumina

Pronunciation: wi/neck/ol/ojee

Sentence: It's bad enough for us ladies to endure what we do annually. Would it be too much to ask that we don't have to also engage in meaningless whynecology?

Etymology: Why? Why, oh why????????? :) and Gynecology

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Obligastory

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/story

Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.

Etymology: obligatory + story

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Babblagonize

Created by: touch72

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Jabberflossy

Created by: wordslikevenom

Pronunciation: Jab-ber-floss-ee

Sentence: The dental nurse yanked the tape from the spool and pulling it taut, sliced down into Dick's incisors, grinning as she sawed to-and-fro. He could taste the blood from his gums running down into the back of his mouth. "One, two! One, two! And through and through the vorpal floss went snicker-snack! She left him dead, and with his head she went galumphing back". As the jabberflossy flowed so did the puddle beneath Dick's seat ...

Etymology: Jabber - To talk rapidly, unintelligibly, or idly. Floss - dental floss

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Ompafone

Created by: BigKP

Pronunciation: Ew-mp-a-fone

Sentence: The doctor continued to make ompafone with me during the procedure.

Etymology: Ompa- funny little people fone- projection

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Qandaches

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kew and ayks

Sentence: Dr. Yvonne is one multi-tasking dentist. She can mask up, get both fists in your mouth simultaneously, probe and scrape and poke and pull and all the while, ask what you thought about medical/political/societal and philosophical issues, while giving you the benefit of her own thoughts on each topic and understanding your feeble, numb, unintelligible answers. At the same time, she gives verbal notes to her dental assistant for your file, as she tells her what she needs next and calculates your bill and how much your insurance will pay for each treatment. Yes, she has QandAches down to a fine science. No wonder they call her Leader of the Plaque!

Etymology: Q and A (Questions and Answers)& Aches (a dull persistent (usually moderately intense) pain; be the source of pain;feel physical pain)

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Eloquesia

MrDave2176

Created by: MrDave2176

Pronunciation: ello-QWEE-shuh

Sentence: Dr. Lonnigan's eloquesia wasn't putting Harry at ease. In fact, his muttercal [filtered through medical apparatus] responses were painful to make and - to his ears - unintelligible.

Etymology: Eloqu(ence) + (anesth)esia EDIT: it occured to me that the word Queasy is sort of in there. I know I get a little queasy when the doctor starts talking to me.

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COMMENTS:

Will Doc Lonegan's eloquesia, cause Harry to have alopecia?! Great word. - OZZIEBOB, 2007-10-16: 23:02:00

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Docquisition

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After checking my chart, the gynocologist began the docquisition.

Etymology: doctor+inquisition

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COMMENTS:

petaj Could almost be a tax audit. - petaj, 2007-10-16: 09:04:00

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Examoration

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: igzamôrāshən

Sentence: It was only being subjected to an examoration that William found out that Dr. Bob was a member of Toastmasters and due to deliver a speech that evening. Somehow he isn*t sure he is better off knowing everything he now knows about newts.

Etymology: examination (a detailed inspection or investigation) + oration (a formal speech, esp. one given on a ceremonial occasion)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James