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'This may hurt a little. So tell me, how are your kids?'

DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.

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Verboticisms

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Docquisition

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After checking my chart, the gynocologist began the docquisition.

Etymology: doctor+inquisition

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COMMENTS:

petaj Could almost be a tax audit. - petaj, 2007-10-16: 09:04:00

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Splatterpatter

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur

Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore

Etymology: patter, splatter

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Healspiel

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: Heel-speel

Sentence: Until he met Dr Fang, Bob thought that Dr Payne's leechspeak was doctrivial. But after a few minutes with Fang, Bob soon realized that, despite all the healspiel, it hurts just as much to have a tooth extracted as it does to have one pulled.

Etymology: heal: to make better,well & spiel: plausible, glib talk; patter, line of gab. Doctrivial: blend of doctor, doctrine and trivial.

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COMMENTS:

Showoff, great job. - fourgirls, 2007-10-16: 09:59:00

how true - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

nice blending - scrabbelicious, 2007-10-18: 07:44:00

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Chatstract

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈtʃætˌstɹækt/

Sentence: At first, I thought she was flirting with me, but it turns out that the proctologist was just chatstracting.

Etymology: from chat + distract

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COMMENTS:

funny! - remistram, 2007-10-16: 10:05:00

ha ha - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-16: 12:27:00

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Afflictscussion

Created by: amandaprater

Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun

Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.

Etymology:

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Raahhrahhllll

beardo

Created by: beardo

Pronunciation: Rah rah l

Sentence: As an answer to the dentists question of how his summer was, Steve replied "Raahhrahhllll."

Etymology: Ra-Cant ahh-now rahh-answer llll-idiot

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Anesthymology

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Uh-nes-thym-ology

Sentence: The dentist absentmindedly practiced anesthymology when he attempted to distract his patients while he worked.

Etymology: Anesthesia- ology

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Awkwords

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: awk-werds

Sentence: Jim is not a fan of dental appointments, not because of a concern for pain or the loss of productive time. What he hates is the awkwords that fill the room as the procedures progress. It's difficult, at best, to carry on a conversation with fingers, water spray and other tools in your mouth.

Etymology: awkward (lacking social graces or manners) + words (speech or talk)

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Nitrousyakside

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: nye-truhs-YAK-syed

Sentence: Little did the dentist know that Alex could counter her nitrousyakside by talking even longer and more boringly than she.

Etymology: nitrous oxide (administered at the beginning of dental work to ease pain) + yak + bedside manner

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Prostagrabgab

Created by: aayeye

Pronunciation: prŏs'tĭ-'grăb-găb

Sentence: Dr. Stinky would not shut up during my prostate exam. He definately has the gift of prostagrabgab.

Etymology: Postate+grab= prostate exam gab= chit chat during said exam

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-16: 17:54:00
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology

lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-11: 00:03:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James