Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ryte stuf fing

Sentence: Ava Dupois had developed a system called ritestuffing to try and watch her calories. If she ordered a big juicy hamburger with all the trimmings, she would be sure to order a diet soda with which to wash it down. Her logic being that the no calories in the soda would counteract the many calories of the burger. In her mind, you could undo all the harm that your favourite fatty foods might do simply by counterbalancing with non-caloric foods. By the same ritestuffing philosophy, she'd eat apple pie with low-cal frozen yogurt on top;mix rum with diet Coke; wash down chocolate cake with skim milk and eat French fries with diet ketchup. She dreamed she could market her philosophy and become the next big diet guru to make a fortune. Move over Jenny Craig and WeightWatchers! Although mentally she felt skinnier using ritestuffing, for some reason, she was having problems fitting into her clothes. This of course she put down to the theory of the dreaded shrinkhangers that lurked in her closet.

Etymology: Rite (ritual,of or relating to or characteristic of religious rituals; any customary observance or practice)& Stuffing (overeating or eating immodestly; make a pig of oneself; fillng completely)& The Right Stuff (You've got what it takes, and then some!)

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COMMENTS:

Goddess of glee! Pasha of puns! Ava Dupois, INDEED! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-13: 03:33:00

Very nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-13: 18:23:00

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Created by: ajcor

Pronunciation: as it sounds

Sentence: What is bound to happen if one tries to eat another's person's PIZZA while indulging single mindly in a frolic of one's own!

Etymology: Pizza as in food of choice and Slap as in what happens as a direct result to the Pizza Top Licker. Particularly when the Crumb to yummy Pizza Top ratio has been studied empirically and found lacking!

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: grayze/crayze

Sentence: The latest diet endorsed by leading experts was the grazecraze which involved eating small amounts of food all day whenever one felt the urge - usually by nibbling bits of everyone elses snacks. The guy in the comic has been on the diet for a month and is pissed off that the girl is licking his next snack.

Etymology: graze (forage) + craze

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COMMENTS:

Grazey, man, grazey. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:12:00

I've been ruminating on this. Bet I cud lose weight this way. Anybody got a Moo Pie? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:43:00

you guys aren't going to milk this are you? - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 09:00:00

Not me - I lactose kind of comments. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:09:00

you udder yet another pun! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:17:00

I'm gonna bovine another thing to do on the internet. i swear. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

Fine! Beef that way! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:20:00

goodness grazeious - great bulls of fire - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:24:00

Bullocks! Another freakin' song! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:38:00

cattle be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:50:00

Yep, til the cows come home. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:15:00

I got temporarily logged off - cow'd that happen? - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 10:41:00

Dangus thing I ever herd of! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:56:00

Maybe it just happens heifery so often? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 11:03:00

you guys are just so clheifer. I calf never laughed so herd - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:32:00

I like this brand of humor, it eases my moosery. - Alchemist, 2007-06-20: 14:44:00

well moosery does love cowpany - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 15:25:00

Hey! All this cow talk just reminded me that I need to send for the tickets to the annual Cow Flop. Thanks! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 15:53:00

I calfn't had so much pun in ages - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 16:40:00

I believe the word is "Cowabunga!" - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 17:12:00

can you stop punning??....i bet your not cowpabull...go on...i dairy you - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 18:12:00

Never! I won't cow-tow to the likes of you! (I mean that in a nice way.) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 18:26:00

I bet 5 bucks that we cowd goat on forheifer. But maybe it's time to steer the topic away. Can you ranch yourself away from cattle? No more sheep laughs at the cow's expense. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:19:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: veg/uh/bey/shun

Sentence: Vegebation is the peculiar ritual Jenny practises. She is a vegetarian who only drinks her food. She juicers all her vegetables and tofu together and drinks her meals. Vegebation is part of the 'X-Man' cultasy which proclaims that this activity will reduce the side effects of youthanesia and prevent wear and tear on teeth and reduce facial aging lines from chewing.

Etymology: VEGEBATION - noun - fro VEGETARIAN (a person who does not eat meat) + LIBATION (the act of drinking; the drinking of a liquid offering as a religious ritual)

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COMMENTS:

Excellent ento! At least she's not reduced to mastication. - metrohumanx, 2008-08-13: 03:36:00

Eggcellent - Mustang, 2008-08-13: 08:23:00

great combo - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-13: 10:27:00

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Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: uhn - noh - reh - klehk - sha

Sentence: Dianne's unoreclexic behavior has led a lot of unoreclexia believers and a lot of doctors to question her reasons for her peculiar diet. She'd rather drink a soda through the nose or die. Upon hearing this, one particular doctor-- Dr. Pepper-- went mad.

Etymology: un [opposite of] + anorexia [loss of appetite and inability to eat] + eclectic [choosy; discriminating]

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Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /glʌtsplɔɪt/

Sentence: He spent much effort tyring to glutsploit his diets and fitnesse his exercise schemes, searching for a lazy way to lose weight. He did succeed in losing weight, but in the end, his complicated methods involved more work than he would have spent on calorie-counting and daily exercise. Some think that his weight loss was due more to the extreme stress caused by his methods than it was to the methods themselves.

Etymology: From glut + exploit

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COMMENTS:

Wow - no wonder it took you so long to get that sentence out - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 12:36:00

That actually only took a few minutes. I just had to go teach my classes for the day beforehand, and I wanted to get a word out first in hopes of gleaning some morning votes. - ErWenn, 2007-06-20: 18:01:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: od bal EE mee ah

Sentence: Candy can't understand why she can't lose weight. She scrupulously avoids starches after 5:00 pm ("it turns right to fat"). She always carefully counts her daily calories. She eats lots of celery ("it takes more calories to digest it than it has in it, so that's negative calories"). She also eats a lot of spicy foods too ("that revs your metabolism and burns more calories"). Of course, drinks don't really count because they are mostly water; the same goes for soup. And everyone knows that the bites you take while you're cooking, to "taste test" the food, don't count. She does eat whatever is left on her kids' plates, but those calories don't count either because she eats standing up.

Etymology: oddball + bulimia

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: gore-mand-go

Sentence: Some people thought Lenny was totally aliMENTAL, but he was a dedicated practitioner of gourmandgo. This diet regime required him to eat copious amounts of mangoes all the while fidgetlicking to burn up calories.

Etymology: go man go (encouraging cry for those exercising) + gourmandise (make a pig of oneself) + mango (yum, plus full of antioxidants)

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COMMENTS:

Don't blame me... I voted for Gourmand. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 05:59:00

Appearantly, he had no grape desire to change his currant eating habits. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:46:00

No, he was persimmonently sticking to the regime, although the side effects of all that fibre were difficult to pear. He kept appleying himself to the diet the same way he plummed the depths in his study of Mandarin and was still olive long after his grandchildren started dating. They apricioted his efforts and did not ban a nana from joining him, although he was figgin ginormous after a couple of years. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 22:53:00

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Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: lie-et

Sentence: she only ate fruit flavoured ice cream because she was on a very strict liet

Etymology: lie, diet

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COMMENTS:

Maybe she's not getting enough lietary supplicants. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 03:44:00

Probably reading too many literary supplements from the Medical journals. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 03:58:00

too many books spoil the broth - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 05:27:00

Too many books in the kitchen. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:06:00

Yet many hands make liet work. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 08:14:00

and in ice cream many calories liet in weight - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 12:18:00

and in ice cream many calories liet in weight - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 12:19:00

This may be the shortest verboticism ever...is it? - ErWenn, 2007-06-20: 12:22:00

Gets my vote. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 21:33:00

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: safe-pex

Sentence: After failing on both the Fatkins Diet and SlimFat, Louise tried practicing Safepecks, slowly nibbling on small bits of food. Unfortunately, for her, it only meant that it took her two hours to finish off the entire pizza.

Etymology: safe sex, peck

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COMMENTS:

It's important to use condiments. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 05:56:00

especially if you're a dominoatrix - galwaywegian, 2007-06-20: 06:41:00

You guys are hot and cheesy today! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 06:49:00

Saucy, even. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:08:00

Pizza with condiments - sounds like sheaths on toast. The Welsh like a rarebit, and salesmen like to celibate. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 08:24:00

Louise was a Pizza Slut. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:54:00

A crusty, hand-tossed Pizza Slut. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 17:23:00

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