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'Why are you licking your pizza?'

DEFINITION: v. tr. To eat in a peculiar or ritualistic manner in an effort to lose weight while consuming more. n. An idiosyncratic method of eating, usually adopted for "health reasons".

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Lickosuction

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: lik o suk shun

Sentence: Her Catholic upbringing had programmed her to believe that acts were only sinful when you took pleasure in them, so she applied the same logic to eating, figuring that you wouldn't get fat if you didn't enjoy the food. Her lickosuction technique unfortunately had the opposite effect, as it didn't involve chewing, which was the only calorie burning part of the process.

Etymology: liposuction, lick, suction

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COMMENTS:

Obviously, she was a Cathaholick. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:11:00

it made eating salad difficult because she was a romaine catholick - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:31:00

Life would have been easier if she were Chewish. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:40:00

foodha would say that the existance of her cheeseburger would be moo. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 10:07:00

and Gibran would say 'Beauty is eternity grazing at itself in a mirror' - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:05:00

petaj And the love of honey is the pursuit of all weevils. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:08:00

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Conflume

Created by: ryanpetie

Pronunciation: kon-floom

Sentence: Diana was conflicted: she wanted to eat the battered Twinkie so much, but the wedding dress wasn't going to magically alter itself. So she conflumed the Twinkie and felt much better about life.

Etymology: conflict-consumed

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Manicmange

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: man-ik-monj

Sentence: Jenny Craig insists that manicmange is healthy for their overweight clients.

Etymology: manic (frenzy) + mange (to eat en francais)

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Safepecks

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: safe-pex

Sentence: After failing on both the Fatkins Diet and SlimFat, Louise tried practicing Safepecks, slowly nibbling on small bits of food. Unfortunately, for her, it only meant that it took her two hours to finish off the entire pizza.

Etymology: safe sex, peck

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COMMENTS:

It's important to use condiments. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 05:56:00

especially if you're a dominoatrix - galwaywegian, 2007-06-20: 06:41:00

You guys are hot and cheesy today! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 06:49:00

Saucy, even. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:08:00

petaj Pizza with condiments - sounds like sheaths on toast. The Welsh like a rarebit, and salesmen like to celibate. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 08:24:00

Louise was a Pizza Slut. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:54:00

A crusty, hand-tossed Pizza Slut. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 17:23:00

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Richewalesstic

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: rich/chew/a/less/tic

Sentence: The richewalesstic method involves a tic like motion which causes one to chew less and therefore absorb fewer calories.

Etymology: rich + chew + less + tic + ritualistic

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COMMENTS:

Sucking the marrow there owly. Bon apetit! - scrabbelicious, 2008-08-14: 11:00:00

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Ritestuffing

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ryte stuf fing

Sentence: Ava Dupois had developed a system called ritestuffing to try and watch her calories. If she ordered a big juicy hamburger with all the trimmings, she would be sure to order a diet soda with which to wash it down. Her logic being that the no calories in the soda would counteract the many calories of the burger. In her mind, you could undo all the harm that your favourite fatty foods might do simply by counterbalancing with non-caloric foods. By the same ritestuffing philosophy, she'd eat apple pie with low-cal frozen yogurt on top;mix rum with diet Coke; wash down chocolate cake with skim milk and eat French fries with diet ketchup. She dreamed she could market her philosophy and become the next big diet guru to make a fortune. Move over Jenny Craig and WeightWatchers! Although mentally she felt skinnier using ritestuffing, for some reason, she was having problems fitting into her clothes. This of course she put down to the theory of the dreaded shrinkhangers that lurked in her closet.

Etymology: Rite (ritual,of or relating to or characteristic of religious rituals; any customary observance or practice)& Stuffing (overeating or eating immodestly; make a pig of oneself; fillng completely)& The Right Stuff (You've got what it takes, and then some!)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Goddess of glee! Pasha of puns! Ava Dupois, INDEED! - metrohumanx, 2008-08-13: 03:33:00

Very nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-08-13: 18:23:00

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Gluttiquette

Created by: airliebee

Pronunciation: gluh-tee-kett

Sentence: Michelle ate each pea, each grain of rice and each lentil individually, with chopsticks, observing carefully the gluttocol of her gluttiquette. Afterwards, she rewarded herself for her excellent adherence with a big bowl of choc-chip caramel swirl extra-sugar superfudge ice-cream, eaten with a fork whilst standing up so that the calories were cancelled out. See also: Gluttocol, the rules of gluttiquette.

Etymology: gluttony + etiquette. (gluttocol = gluttony + protocol)

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Dietscary

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: di-et-scare-y

Sentence: Marie's dietscary requirements consisted of whatever wacko fad-diet she read about in the supermarket check-out. One day she would eat nothing but papaya, another day, nuts and twigs. At least she never had to worry about her lunch being stolen.

Etymology: diet: a regulated system of food for health or cosmetic reasons + dietary: a system or regimen of diet + scary: frightening

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Grazecraze

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: grayze/crayze

Sentence: The latest diet endorsed by leading experts was the grazecraze which involved eating small amounts of food all day whenever one felt the urge - usually by nibbling bits of everyone elses snacks. The guy in the comic has been on the diet for a month and is pissed off that the girl is licking his next snack.

Etymology: graze (forage) + craze

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COMMENTS:

Grazey, man, grazey. - Clayton, 2007-06-20: 07:12:00

I've been ruminating on this. Bet I cud lose weight this way. Anybody got a Moo Pie? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 08:43:00

you guys aren't going to milk this are you? - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 09:00:00

Not me - I lactose kind of comments. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:09:00

you udder yet another pun! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:17:00

I'm gonna bovine another thing to do on the internet. i swear. - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:18:00

Fine! Beef that way! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:20:00

goodness grazeious - great bulls of fire - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 09:24:00

Bullocks! Another freakin' song! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 09:38:00

cattle be stuck in your head for the rest of the day! - jadenguy, 2007-06-20: 09:50:00

Yep, til the cows come home. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:15:00

I got temporarily logged off - cow'd that happen? - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 10:41:00

Dangus thing I ever herd of! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 10:56:00

Maybe it just happens heifery so often? - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 11:03:00

you guys are just so clheifer. I calf never laughed so herd - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 11:32:00

I like this brand of humor, it eases my moosery. - Alchemist, 2007-06-20: 14:44:00

well moosery does love cowpany - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 15:25:00

Hey! All this cow talk just reminded me that I need to send for the tickets to the annual Cow Flop. Thanks! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 15:53:00

I calfn't had so much pun in ages - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-20: 16:40:00

I believe the word is "Cowabunga!" - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 17:12:00

can you stop punning??....i bet your not cowpabull...go on...i dairy you - rikboyee, 2007-06-20: 18:12:00

Never! I won't cow-tow to the likes of you! (I mean that in a nice way.) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-20: 18:26:00

petaj I bet 5 bucks that we cowd goat on forheifer. But maybe it's time to steer the topic away. Can you ranch yourself away from cattle? No more sheep laughs at the cow's expense. - petaj, 2007-06-20: 23:19:00

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Bingenibbler

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: bin-ge-nib-eler

Sentence: When the doctor told Monica that she was obese and advised her to lose weight, she went home and devised, what she thought, was a foolproof plan. She decided to use the bingenibbler method which involved taking very small bites of food while still consuming exactly the same amount as before.

Etymology: Binge(excessive eating) + Nibble(to take small bites, gently bite at) = Bingenibbler

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COMMENTS:

wouldn't that be nice if it worked? - Jabberwocky, 2008-08-13: 10:34:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-20: 01:30:00
Today's definition was inspired by Robert J. Sawyer's Rollback. It may be science fiction, but when Rob gets rolling you can't help but laugh at the details of our daily lives -- like eating pizza. Rollback's pizza moment starts off with, "She was used to the way her husband ate pizza, but couldn't actually say she liked it", and then jumps right into the gory details. Thanks Rob! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-06-20: 04:41:00
This summer it's Double Verbotomy with Verbotomy Text and Verbotomy Classic. Get the details: Double Verbotomy for the Summer Season.