Verboticisms

Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: ooh-burr-klutz

Sentence: I pulled a real uberklutz when I pulled my back tying my shoes.

Etymology: uber+klutz

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: in/ka/pass'/i/tate

Sentence: Brian told eveyone he had broken his leg by diving in front of a speeding car to save a small child. He was too embarrassed to admit he had incapassitated himself by tripping over a speed bump in the parking lot.

Etymology: incapacitate + ass

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:50:00

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: owch pot ay to

Sentence: Dudley Dolittle was admitted to the ER with life-threatening (in his mind)injuries. He was innocently lying on the couch, watching Law & Order Special Victims Unit at 3:00 pm, just before The Office came on in double episode at 4:00 pm. When all of a sudden the remote fell on the floor. He reached over to grab it and fell off the couch, hitting his head and temporarily knocking himself out. When he regained conciousness, he got up off the floor to go look in the mirror at any possible bruises. Unfortunately, the cat had knocked over a vase filled with flowers and water and he slipped on the hardwood floor. When the ambulance came, Dudley was in major pain. Turns out he'd wrenched his back, broke his ankle and wrist. He'd turned from a Couchpotato into an Ouchpotato. Later, when asked what caused his injury, he was able to truthfully tell people that while on an undercover assignment, he was attacked when a wild cat hit him in his sweet peas, on his way to The Office. Sadly, he was believed...

Etymology: Ouch (hurt;wound;exclamation used to express pain) & Couch Potato (an idler who spends much time on a couch (usually watching television)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/jur/sheea

Sentence: Mark suffered from chronic injurtia. He often injured himself surfing the internet or changing stations on the remote.

Etymology: injure + inertia

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Created by: catgrin

Pronunciation: ahyd-l-joor, ahyd-l-joor-ee

Sentence: How I managed to idlejure both my legs while folding laundry I'll never understand, but I guess that's the nature of idlejuries. One minute you're standing there minding your own business, the next you're in a body cast!

Etymology: idle + injure

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: harm ill ee ate

Sentence: Stanley felt like he was born with a large "L" for Loser on his forehead. No one could harmiliate themself the way he could. He had lost every job he had ever worked at and injured himself over and over in the process. Like the time he got 3rd degree burns working at a fast food place, bobbing for French fries. Or the time he crashed his taxi cab by backing up at great speed into the police car that had pulled him over for speeding. The impact had caused him to crack his nose open on his own steering wheel and get 2 black eyes. Or the time he was sitting on the glass of the office photocopier to copy his bare bum, when the glass shattered and splintered into his flesh. Or the time he had worked at the bowling alley and got his fingers stuck in the holes of the ball that he was demonstrating for some kids. He went flying down the alley and into the pinsetter machine. He now knew where the terms "spare tire","gutter mouth", "pins & needles" and "split lip" came from. Yes, Stanley spent so much time at the local emergency room, that the staff had bought him his own coffee mug, just so they could take turns cracking up over his incident reports. But all that was about to change. Stanley had been hired to do his dream job. No more harmiliation for him...it would be someone else's turn. Yes, Stanley had been hired as a consultant for the Workers Compensation Board!

Etymology: harm (any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. or the act of damaging something or someone) & humiliate (cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of or embarrass)

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COMMENTS:

Yes, but will Stanley now get a paper cut on his eye, stab himself with stapler, or even smash his finger on the copy machine lid? - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:17:00

Most likely given his track record...I forgot about the time he worked at the butchers and accidentally backed up into the meat grinder, which made him get a little behind in his work...Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:41:00

Good one! - Mustang, 2008-04-16: 05:15:00

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ad-vert-eh-dent

Sentence: You would think Roger would have been better served if he had stayed in bed this morning. Or perhaps that wouldn't have mattered either. That is because Roger was a schlemiel. It seemed as if every normal everyday thing he did, he got injured. He was so clumsy that the he didn't have to show his insurance card at the local hospital. In fact, the emergency room looked more like the bar at Cheers whenever he was rolled in for some inadvertadent, real or imagined. They couldn't wait to hear what mundane activity happened this time. Would it be his toothbrush needing to be removed from deep within his nasal cavity, like the last time he came? There was a running bet within the facility.

Etymology: inadvertent, not attentive; heedless + accident, something that happens by chance, mishap

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COMMENTS:

Haven't we all known guys like Roger...good story. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:44:00

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: ack-said-in-tear-ree

Sentence: The first thing Robert noticed when he regained consciousness after the accedentary was that he had lost the race. Then he noticed the large glinting shards of the glass coffee table, reflecting images of tiny go-carts zooming past an imaginary camera. He slowly righted himself, his face crusted in blood and glass. There on the screen, displayed in repeating 1080p glory was the turn on Koopa Troopa Beach where he had lost the entire affair. Upon hitting the shortcut ramp dead on and rocketing into the dank tunnel, his excitement overwhelmed him, and with his hands thrust toward the heavens, mocking Zeus with his three-proged controller like a vengeful Poseidon brandishing his trident, he knew he alone reigned over this beach. Every crab and palm tree must now pay fealty to his awesome might. He triggered his stored lightning item for effect and basked in the power. And that was when he had the stroke.

Etymology: accident + sedentary

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:49:00

Great story - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:52:00

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Ped-est-rain

Sentence: Greg lived a very beige life and enjoyed it's banality. He went to work, did his grocery shopping and walked his dog. He occasionally visited family and had dinner with friends but that was the extent of his excitement. Greg was a cautious man who didn't want to get hurt, so no snow-boarding, rollerblading or motorbike riding for him. "Oh my god what happened to you?" blabbered his secretary Janine when he came in for work in casts one day. "I slipped down the stairs with my groceries when my dog ran passed me out the door. The detergent bottle I had bought burst open and I slid and fell all the way from the sixth floor to the foyer in the detergent." He said blandly. Janine burst out laughing. "And then I crashed into the floral display, which fell on me. The rose thorns got stuck in my skin." "Wow." Said Janine giggling. "That's a real pedestrain," but Greg didn't get it.

Etymology: Pedestrian - banal, boring, hum-drum, mundane, insipid and prosaic. Also referring to the boring act of walking somewhere.. Strain - injury usually induced by using a part of your body in a way it's not used to. Also happens when you're doing very little but doing it alot. I note that this verbotomy is found quite frequently on google due to the sad fact that many people can't spell pedestrian. I think that makes it all the more poignant.

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