Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: u til layt

Sentence: In his Victim's Statement, Mervin could only lay blame on himself for the disfiguring stapler incident. He did indeed unwittingly youtilate himself by pointing the offending sharp electric stapler towards his groin area before firing at will. Sure he couldn't have kids now, but at least he was able to keep his legs together. His fastenating career at Staples was now secure!

Etymology: You (as in yourself, no one else;second person singular) & Mutilate (destroy or injure severely;alter so as to make unrecognizable)

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 00:00:00

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: misˈsnap

Sentence: It doesn't take much for Jimmie to create a missnap; a cough, a sneeze, a turn of the head. It can be dangerous for him to tie his shoes. Somehow he doesn't think of Rice Krispies when he hears snap, crackle or pop. Pop and lock is not a dance style. It's a lifestyle.

Etymology: misstep (a clumsy or badly judged step) + snap (break or cause to break suddenly and completely, typically with a sharp cracking sound)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: harm ill ee ate

Sentence: Stanley felt like he was born with a large "L" for Loser on his forehead. No one could harmiliate themself the way he could. He had lost every job he had ever worked at and injured himself over and over in the process. Like the time he got 3rd degree burns working at a fast food place, bobbing for French fries. Or the time he crashed his taxi cab by backing up at great speed into the police car that had pulled him over for speeding. The impact had caused him to crack his nose open on his own steering wheel and get 2 black eyes. Or the time he was sitting on the glass of the office photocopier to copy his bare bum, when the glass shattered and splintered into his flesh. Or the time he had worked at the bowling alley and got his fingers stuck in the holes of the ball that he was demonstrating for some kids. He went flying down the alley and into the pinsetter machine. He now knew where the terms "spare tire","gutter mouth", "pins & needles" and "split lip" came from. Yes, Stanley spent so much time at the local emergency room, that the staff had bought him his own coffee mug, just so they could take turns cracking up over his incident reports. But all that was about to change. Stanley had been hired to do his dream job. No more harmiliation for him...it would be someone else's turn. Yes, Stanley had been hired as a consultant for the Workers Compensation Board!

Etymology: harm (any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. or the act of damaging something or someone) & humiliate (cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of or embarrass)

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COMMENTS:

Yes, but will Stanley now get a paper cut on his eye, stab himself with stapler, or even smash his finger on the copy machine lid? - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:17:00

Most likely given his track record...I forgot about the time he worked at the butchers and accidentally backed up into the meat grinder, which made him get a little behind in his work...Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:41:00

Good one! - Mustang, 2008-04-16: 05:15:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: owch poe tay toe

Sentence: the unfortunate juxtaposition of the remote control between cushions and the couchpotatos descending butt transformed him to an ouchpotato.

Etymology: couch potato, ouch

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: ax-e-dumb

Sentence: After tying my shoes, I stood up too fast and got an accidumb as my leg cramped up.

Etymology: accident+dumb

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kôfrakchərd

Sentence: Jimmy doesn’t really want to talk about his latest injury. Apparently he is embarrassed that he coughractured his finger while picking his nose.

Etymology: cough (expel air from the lungs with a sudden sharp sound) + fratcured (the cracking or breaking of a hard object or material)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hak sid dent

Sentence: Although in full body cast after his mishap, Steve was lucky to be alive. He had accessed secret Defense Dept. records and his hackcident was as a result of a professional visit by some burly, zealous Marine MP's. Semper Fi!

Etymology: Hack (To gain access to (a computer file or network) illegally or without authorization) & Accident (a mishap; especially one causing injury or death)

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dough-maim

Sentence: Willard became king of his domaim when he slipped on wet linoleum on the way to his porcelin throne. Embarassed to admit the true cause of his injury, he quickly fabricated a more exciting story so his friends wouldn't think he was a complete idiot.

Etymology: domain: territory, environment, kingdom + maim: to injure, wound, disable

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: zip lash

Sentence: When Henry accidentally caught himself in the fly of his pants(ouch), he jerked his head down so quickly to see what he had done, that he gave himself ziplash.

Etymology: Zip (zipper, fly, fastener of clothing) & Whiplash (an injury to the neck as a result of rapid acceleration or deceleration)

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