Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: inn sull twin jerr eee

Sentence: Her latest insultwinjury occurred due to her using tweezers while driving. it gave new meaning to "keeping an eye on the road"

Etymology: insult to injury.

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COMMENTS:

great twist - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:51:00

It's like when you put mascara on while driving...or so I'm told...good one. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:56:00

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Ped-est-rain

Sentence: Greg lived a very beige life and enjoyed it's banality. He went to work, did his grocery shopping and walked his dog. He occasionally visited family and had dinner with friends but that was the extent of his excitement. Greg was a cautious man who didn't want to get hurt, so no snow-boarding, rollerblading or motorbike riding for him. "Oh my god what happened to you?" blabbered his secretary Janine when he came in for work in casts one day. "I slipped down the stairs with my groceries when my dog ran passed me out the door. The detergent bottle I had bought burst open and I slid and fell all the way from the sixth floor to the foyer in the detergent." He said blandly. Janine burst out laughing. "And then I crashed into the floral display, which fell on me. The rose thorns got stuck in my skin." "Wow." Said Janine giggling. "That's a real pedestrain," but Greg didn't get it.

Etymology: Pedestrian - banal, boring, hum-drum, mundane, insipid and prosaic. Also referring to the boring act of walking somewhere.. Strain - injury usually induced by using a part of your body in a way it's not used to. Also happens when you're doing very little but doing it alot. I note that this verbotomy is found quite frequently on google due to the sad fact that many people can't spell pedestrian. I think that makes it all the more poignant.

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: mag neh dent

Sentence: Phil was a congenital magnadent. To say he was accident prone would be an understatement. Accidents seemed to find him in the most mundane and safe places. It was a good thing he had insurance, because otherwise he's be in quite a bind. His policy has several riders on it that prohibit him from climbing steps, riding bikes with any amount of wheels, crossing the street, eating while walking, and hundreds of other scenarios that indicate a troubled past.

Etymology: magnet + accident

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COMMENTS:

Phil probably could not walk past a fridge without sticking to it...Good One! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:49:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: orto-BASH-full

Sentence: "Have you been in a car accident?" she asked on seeing the family with plaster casts, limps and bruises. Autobashfully he replied, "no we were just having a cup of tea on the verandah when the kids called the dog and it came charging up, knocking me off my seat. I stood up pushing the table back and it fell through the decking and down went the rest of the family too".

Etymology: auto (self) + bash (hit hard) + bashful (embarrassed)

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: ax-e-dumb

Sentence: After tying my shoes, I stood up too fast and got an accidumb as my leg cramped up.

Etymology: accident+dumb

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ouch-puh-tey-toh

Sentence: A sedentary lifestyle with a certain level of atrophy have left Roger an ouchpotato.

Etymology: ouch (interjection used to express pain) + couch potato (a lazy person whose recreation consists chiefly of watching television and videos)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: mort - iff - im - payrd

Sentence: Morton was completely mortifimpaired, suffering both injury and embarrassment at his being wheelchair bound thru an injury acquired during foolish horseplay.

Etymology: Blend of mortified and impaired.

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: harm ill ee ate

Sentence: Stanley felt like he was born with a large "L" for Loser on his forehead. No one could harmiliate themself the way he could. He had lost every job he had ever worked at and injured himself over and over in the process. Like the time he got 3rd degree burns working at a fast food place, bobbing for French fries. Or the time he crashed his taxi cab by backing up at great speed into the police car that had pulled him over for speeding. The impact had caused him to crack his nose open on his own steering wheel and get 2 black eyes. Or the time he was sitting on the glass of the office photocopier to copy his bare bum, when the glass shattered and splintered into his flesh. Or the time he had worked at the bowling alley and got his fingers stuck in the holes of the ball that he was demonstrating for some kids. He went flying down the alley and into the pinsetter machine. He now knew where the terms "spare tire","gutter mouth", "pins & needles" and "split lip" came from. Yes, Stanley spent so much time at the local emergency room, that the staff had bought him his own coffee mug, just so they could take turns cracking up over his incident reports. But all that was about to change. Stanley had been hired to do his dream job. No more harmiliation for him...it would be someone else's turn. Yes, Stanley had been hired as a consultant for the Workers Compensation Board!

Etymology: harm (any physical damage to the body caused by violence or accident or fracture etc. or the act of damaging something or someone) & humiliate (cause to feel shame; hurt the pride of or embarrass)

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COMMENTS:

Yes, but will Stanley now get a paper cut on his eye, stab himself with stapler, or even smash his finger on the copy machine lid? - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:17:00

Most likely given his track record...I forgot about the time he worked at the butchers and accidentally backed up into the meat grinder, which made him get a little behind in his work...Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:41:00

Good one! - Mustang, 2008-04-16: 05:15:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: freek-seh-dent

Sentence: Being a wholly uncoordinated and clumsy oaf, Manfred seems to suffer one freaccident after another, goofy injuries that for anyone else would be very rare.

Etymology: Blend of 'freak' (A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular) and 'accident' (an unforeseen and unplanned mishap)

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