Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: u til layt

Sentence: In his Victim's Statement, Mervin could only lay blame on himself for the disfiguring stapler incident. He did indeed unwittingly youtilate himself by pointing the offending sharp electric stapler towards his groin area before firing at will. Sure he couldn't have kids now, but at least he was able to keep his legs together. His fastenating career at Staples was now secure!

Etymology: You (as in yourself, no one else;second person singular) & Mutilate (destroy or injure severely;alter so as to make unrecognizable)

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COMMENTS:

Clever! - Mustang, 2009-06-02: 00:00:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: sha-GRIN-jry

Sentence: Elwood suffered yet another chagrinjury when he got his finger caught in the whisk attachment on his mixer, jerked the mixer off the counter wherein it fell on his toes, and while dancing about in pain knocked himself senseless when his head whacked into the open cupboard door.

Etymology: Blend of 'chagrin' (a feeling of vexation, marked by disappointment or humiliation) and 'injury'

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COMMENTS:

What a klutz! Good one. - Nosila, 2009-06-01: 14:37:00

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: mag neh dent

Sentence: Phil was a congenital magnadent. To say he was accident prone would be an understatement. Accidents seemed to find him in the most mundane and safe places. It was a good thing he had insurance, because otherwise he's be in quite a bind. His policy has several riders on it that prohibit him from climbing steps, riding bikes with any amount of wheels, crossing the street, eating while walking, and hundreds of other scenarios that indicate a troubled past.

Etymology: magnet + accident

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COMMENTS:

Phil probably could not walk past a fridge without sticking to it...Good One! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:49:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: zip lash

Sentence: When Henry accidentally caught himself in the fly of his pants(ouch), he jerked his head down so quickly to see what he had done, that he gave himself ziplash.

Etymology: Zip (zipper, fly, fastener of clothing) & Whiplash (an injury to the neck as a result of rapid acceleration or deceleration)

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Created by: Jamagra

Pronunciation: in/ka/pass'/i/tate

Sentence: Brian told eveyone he had broken his leg by diving in front of a speeding car to save a small child. He was too embarrassed to admit he had incapassitated himself by tripping over a speed bump in the parking lot.

Etymology: incapacitate + ass

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:50:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: owch pot ay to

Sentence: Dudley Dolittle was admitted to the ER with life-threatening (in his mind)injuries. He was innocently lying on the couch, watching Law & Order Special Victims Unit at 3:00 pm, just before The Office came on in double episode at 4:00 pm. When all of a sudden the remote fell on the floor. He reached over to grab it and fell off the couch, hitting his head and temporarily knocking himself out. When he regained conciousness, he got up off the floor to go look in the mirror at any possible bruises. Unfortunately, the cat had knocked over a vase filled with flowers and water and he slipped on the hardwood floor. When the ambulance came, Dudley was in major pain. Turns out he'd wrenched his back, broke his ankle and wrist. He'd turned from a Couchpotato into an Ouchpotato. Later, when asked what caused his injury, he was able to truthfully tell people that while on an undercover assignment, he was attacked when a wild cat hit him in his sweet peas, on his way to The Office. Sadly, he was believed...

Etymology: Ouch (hurt;wound;exclamation used to express pain) & Couch Potato (an idler who spends much time on a couch (usually watching television)

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: ôr'dn-ou'ē

Sentence: Kip couldn't believe the pain of the muscle strain in his lower back. He had been in fights and car wrecks, and had sufferred various wounds in them as well as during his stint as a military policeman in Saigon, but this was just an ordinowie-a channel-changing injury-he'd pulled his back reaching for the remote.

Etymology: 'Ord,' Army post in Monterey Bay, California; 'inow,' var. on the mantra of the know-it-all; 'ie,' abbr. for id est, latin, 'that is.'

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COMMENTS:

interesting ety, there! - pieceof314, 2008-04-15: 13:12:00

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: in - jur - eees

Sentence: Judy had a new injurease. She sprained her arm when she reached into the refrigerator to get the orange juice. It seemed that it hurt just to be alive.

Etymology: injury, ease

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COMMENTS:

Makes you want to avoid orange juice. Evil orange juice. - artr, 2009-06-01: 05:22:00

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: ack-said-in-tear-ree

Sentence: The first thing Robert noticed when he regained consciousness after the accedentary was that he had lost the race. Then he noticed the large glinting shards of the glass coffee table, reflecting images of tiny go-carts zooming past an imaginary camera. He slowly righted himself, his face crusted in blood and glass. There on the screen, displayed in repeating 1080p glory was the turn on Koopa Troopa Beach where he had lost the entire affair. Upon hitting the shortcut ramp dead on and rocketing into the dank tunnel, his excitement overwhelmed him, and with his hands thrust toward the heavens, mocking Zeus with his three-proged controller like a vengeful Poseidon brandishing his trident, he knew he alone reigned over this beach. Every crab and palm tree must now pay fealty to his awesome might. He triggered his stored lightning item for effect and basked in the power. And that was when he had the stroke.

Etymology: accident + sedentary

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COMMENTS:

clever - Jabberwocky, 2008-04-15: 10:49:00

Great story - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:52:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dough-maim

Sentence: Willard became king of his domaim when he slipped on wet linoleum on the way to his porcelin throne. Embarassed to admit the true cause of his injury, he quickly fabricated a more exciting story so his friends wouldn't think he was a complete idiot.

Etymology: domain: territory, environment, kingdom + maim: to injure, wound, disable

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