Verboticisms

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: ax-e-dumb

Sentence: After tying my shoes, I stood up too fast and got an accidumb as my leg cramped up.

Etymology: accident+dumb

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: mort - iff - im - payrd

Sentence: Morton was completely mortifimpaired, suffering both injury and embarrassment at his being wheelchair bound thru an injury acquired during foolish horseplay.

Etymology: Blend of mortified and impaired.

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Created by: bdraffen0002

Pronunciation: /ˈskôfəl/

Sentence: I pulled my back when I got in a scoffle with my phone, I was trying to plug it in under the counter without it turning on.

Etymology: Scoff: late 18th century (as a verb): originally a variant of Scots and dialect scaff . The noun is from Afrikaans schoff, representing Dutch schoft ‘quarter of a day,’ (by extension) ‘meal.’ and Scuffle late 16th century (as a verb): probably of Scandinavian origin; compare with Swedish skuffa ‘to push’; related to shove and shuffle.

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Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: som/no/lem/demic

Sentence: A somnolemdemic experiences injuries caused by twisted sheets and bed bugs.

Etymology: somnolent (asleep) + endemic

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: owch pot ay to

Sentence: Dudley Dolittle was admitted to the ER with life-threatening (in his mind)injuries. He was innocently lying on the couch, watching Law & Order Special Victims Unit at 3:00 pm, just before The Office came on in double episode at 4:00 pm. When all of a sudden the remote fell on the floor. He reached over to grab it and fell off the couch, hitting his head and temporarily knocking himself out. When he regained conciousness, he got up off the floor to go look in the mirror at any possible bruises. Unfortunately, the cat had knocked over a vase filled with flowers and water and he slipped on the hardwood floor. When the ambulance came, Dudley was in major pain. Turns out he'd wrenched his back, broke his ankle and wrist. He'd turned from a Couchpotato into an Ouchpotato. Later, when asked what caused his injury, he was able to truthfully tell people that while on an undercover assignment, he was attacked when a wild cat hit him in his sweet peas, on his way to The Office. Sadly, he was believed...

Etymology: Ouch (hurt;wound;exclamation used to express pain) & Couch Potato (an idler who spends much time on a couch (usually watching television)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: misˈsnap

Sentence: It doesn't take much for Jimmie to create a missnap; a cough, a sneeze, a turn of the head. It can be dangerous for him to tie his shoes. Somehow he doesn't think of Rice Krispies when he hears snap, crackle or pop. Pop and lock is not a dance style. It's a lifestyle.

Etymology: misstep (a clumsy or badly judged step) + snap (break or cause to break suddenly and completely, typically with a sharp cracking sound)

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Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ad-vert-eh-dent

Sentence: You would think Roger would have been better served if he had stayed in bed this morning. Or perhaps that wouldn't have mattered either. That is because Roger was a schlemiel. It seemed as if every normal everyday thing he did, he got injured. He was so clumsy that the he didn't have to show his insurance card at the local hospital. In fact, the emergency room looked more like the bar at Cheers whenever he was rolled in for some inadvertadent, real or imagined. They couldn't wait to hear what mundane activity happened this time. Would it be his toothbrush needing to be removed from deep within his nasal cavity, like the last time he came? There was a running bet within the facility.

Etymology: inadvertent, not attentive; heedless + accident, something that happens by chance, mishap

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COMMENTS:

Haven't we all known guys like Roger...good story. - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:44:00

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Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Ped-est-rain

Sentence: Greg lived a very beige life and enjoyed it's banality. He went to work, did his grocery shopping and walked his dog. He occasionally visited family and had dinner with friends but that was the extent of his excitement. Greg was a cautious man who didn't want to get hurt, so no snow-boarding, rollerblading or motorbike riding for him. "Oh my god what happened to you?" blabbered his secretary Janine when he came in for work in casts one day. "I slipped down the stairs with my groceries when my dog ran passed me out the door. The detergent bottle I had bought burst open and I slid and fell all the way from the sixth floor to the foyer in the detergent." He said blandly. Janine burst out laughing. "And then I crashed into the floral display, which fell on me. The rose thorns got stuck in my skin." "Wow." Said Janine giggling. "That's a real pedestrain," but Greg didn't get it.

Etymology: Pedestrian - banal, boring, hum-drum, mundane, insipid and prosaic. Also referring to the boring act of walking somewhere.. Strain - injury usually induced by using a part of your body in a way it's not used to. Also happens when you're doing very little but doing it alot. I note that this verbotomy is found quite frequently on google due to the sad fact that many people can't spell pedestrian. I think that makes it all the more poignant.

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: orto-BASH-full

Sentence: "Have you been in a car accident?" she asked on seeing the family with plaster casts, limps and bruises. Autobashfully he replied, "no we were just having a cup of tea on the verandah when the kids called the dog and it came charging up, knocking me off my seat. I stood up pushing the table back and it fell through the decking and down went the rest of the family too".

Etymology: auto (self) + bash (hit hard) + bashful (embarrassed)

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: mag neh dent

Sentence: Phil was a congenital magnadent. To say he was accident prone would be an understatement. Accidents seemed to find him in the most mundane and safe places. It was a good thing he had insurance, because otherwise he's be in quite a bind. His policy has several riders on it that prohibit him from climbing steps, riding bikes with any amount of wheels, crossing the street, eating while walking, and hundreds of other scenarios that indicate a troubled past.

Etymology: magnet + accident

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COMMENTS:

Phil probably could not walk past a fridge without sticking to it...Good One! - Nosila, 2008-04-15: 20:49:00

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