Verboticisms

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation: sales-ass-hol-sternt

Sentence: i chose to leave the store rather than hand over money to that salesassholestant

Etymology: sales assistant, asshole

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Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: Steve+Clerk-ol

Sentence: The line growing increasingly longer, the SteveClerkel, immersed in his conversation with his girfriend couldn't sense that everyone in line wanted to strangle him.

Etymology: Steve Urkel (the annoying TV character) + Clerk

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Created by: looseball

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: cheklout

Sentence: Harry is an only child. He grew up thinking that he is the center of the universe. That’s just the way he treats his job as a checklout clerk. If a customer is so rude as to expect service he is quick to correct them. He’s been known to freeze a customer mid-sentence with just a look.

Etymology: checkout (a point at which goods are paid for in a supermarket or other store) + lout (an uncouth or aggressive man or boy)

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: cashier-basher

Sentence: Despite the number of cashearbashers working at CashCow, they seemed to make inordinate amounts of money. Yet, every week on the current affairs show, there were complainants describing their pitiful stories of how they had been ignored by sales staff too busy chatting to offer real service and how they had resorted to violence to get some attention.

Etymology: cashier + earbasher (someone who talks a lot) + basher (customer who eventually gives the chatty cashier a black eye)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: cla/sheer

Sentence: Most customer dissatisfaction is caused by confrontational clashiers who hate their jobs and looking for a fight.

Etymology: clash + cashier

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COMMENTS:

which begs the Clash question "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 13:10:00

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Created by: Rutilus

Pronunciation: Cus-time-eed

Sentence: Jackie couldn't believe how poor service was in the UK compared to the states. She was sick of being custymied by surly shop assistants. Bring on the flight back to LA!

Etymology: Customer - buyer, client; stymied - obstructed, blocked

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COMMENTS:

Excellent blend. - Mustang, 2008-05-13: 20:26:00

very nice - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-15: 06:36:00

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: slack er cash er

Sentence: Bill first thought the store had planted a mannequin, arms crossed, at the cash desk. She possessed a vacant stare and exhibited limited life. He stood perplexed, waited for the slackercasher to get into motion. Patience turned to desperation as he heard another cusstomer behind him snarl for help. “OK LET’S GET SOME SERVICE HERE, we don’t have all day!” The slackercasher did get into action: she picked up her cell and began typing a text! Bill resigned to step over to wait in a long line of another aisle.

Etymology: From slacker and casher or cashier.

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: cash-sheer-gall

Sentence: Brandon often displayed casheergall while working the counter at the convenience store and would continue on with personal chores while ignoring waiting customers.

Etymology: blend of cashier, sheer, and gall

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COMMENTS:

They must go to a special school... - Nosila, 2009-06-25: 11:19:00

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Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Vecks-kewz-amee

Sentence: Im really fed up with those vexqueuesamees, every time I go into that shop I have to wait ages in the queue whilst those girls chat away. Im sure I must know their business more than they do by now!

Etymology: Vex (perturbed,put out) Queues(a long line of customers waiting to be served) =Vexqueuesamee(excuse me)

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COMMENTS:

funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:41:00

Vexcellent vord! - Nosila, 2008-05-13: 23:21:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TILL-shy

Sentence: Why don't you shop on-line, and stop rudely interrupting my day, was the routine retort to customers from the tillshy, check-out "chick".

Etymology: Combination of TILL: drawer for money in cash-register etc., & SHY: as in workshy - to be afraid of.

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fai - ls - purs - son

Sentence: Oscar went to the check-out counter at Sears and encountered yet another failesperson who ignored him and busied herself talking on the phone....

Etymology: fails, salesperson

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COMMENTS:

Oscar forgets who really pays his wages...Sears is just the distributor... - Nosila, 2009-06-25: 11:21:00

Good word! - splendiction, 2009-06-25: 22:31:00

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: dĭ-sō'shē-ĭt

Sentence: After she made her way back to the electronics department, having to make her way past one dissociate after another who, apparently oblivious to her existence or that of any other customer, had no apparent function beyond taking up aisle space, the blue-smocked critters became scarce. When she finally found one and asked where she could find an adapter to use her ipod with her home stereo, the dull-eyed response was, "that's not my aisle, but if we have 'em they would definitely be in this half of the store."

Etymology: dissociate (-āt'), from the psychological defense mechanism dissociation, whereby an individual compartmentalizes certain thoughts, emotions, sensations, and/or memories; term coined by The French psychiatrist Pierre Janet, later expanded on in Jung's theories; associate (-ĭt), term used by a certain (world's largest)retailer as a euphamism for what passes as a sales staff.

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COMMENTS:

Like it! - pieceof314, 2008-05-13: 13:29:00

thanks, 314. first time I've tried to give a verbotomy to an existing word. - stache, 2008-05-13: 17:02:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: sales/clurk/sum/ness

Sentence: Sally's excitement about shopping at the new megastore was quickly squelched when she discovered the salesclirksomeness of the staff who flipped a 'this register closed' at 9 of the 10 queues.

Etymology: sales clerk + irksomeness(irritating, maddening, infuriating)

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Created by: Kallystie

Pronunciation: a-ssh-ier

Sentence: The clerk was talking on the phone and completely ignoring me. I waited there, while my, once frosty cold, can of soda started getting warm. Finally, I stated... "Asshier! Can I get some service before my soda starts boiling in this heat?"

Etymology: Asshier is a combination of the words ass and cashier.

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: assss hoe llll say lur

Sentence: If she had her way this asswholesaler would need to be re-tailed

Etymology: wholesaler asshole

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COMMENTS:

good one! - Nosila, 2010-07-16: 01:03:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: cla/sheer

Sentence: Most customer dissatisfaction is caused by confrontational clashiers who hate their jobs and looking for a fight.

Etymology: clash + cashier

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Created by: marianasoffer

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: No - negation ASkHole - asshole/ask hole

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: serv-ih-toe-sis

Sentence: Brad suffered from an acute case of servitosis, or rather, it was the customers who were the direct victims of this insidious disease at the local MunchieMart. Brad's shallow indiference to basic customer service couldn't have been more overt. The dwindling customer base seemed to think that they were going to an inconvenience store every time they stopped by.

Etymology: service + (t)osis, state of disease

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Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: kr - ass - is - tant

Sentence: Dominick was waited on by a crassistant in the local Starbucks.... She grudgingly took his order because he interrupted her "texting" marathon.

Etymology: crass (lacking in discrimination and sensibility), assistant

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COMMENTS:

good one - Mustang, 2009-06-26: 02:17:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: krass issss tant

Sentence: The crassistant finally gave her the attention she had been trying to attract for the previous twenty minutes. In less than one minute he managed to detatch the barbecue tongs from what was left of his manhood, gift wrap it and hand it to her with such a dazzling smile that she didn't carry out plan b after all. she left the store, dropping the garlic crush on the floor as she walked out.

Etymology: assistant, crass

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COMMENTS:

Great word gww! - didsbury, 2008-05-13: 13:53:00

She didn't give him much choice as she had him in a eunique position. Just lucky she didn't threaten him with a castrato iron fry pan - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:37:00

...or the dreaded brissket pan. Excellent word — great sentence too. Girl's got attitude! - Tigger, 2008-05-13: 17:45:00

Sometimes, you've just gotta grab their attention... - Nosila, 2008-05-13: 23:28:00

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Created by: scissorlips

Pronunciation: saylz jurk

Sentence: All too often the end of our long wait in line is met by a salesjerk; a cocky, nitwit who can exert authority only through annoying customers.

Etymology: sales + JERK, similar to salesclerk

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: cells-rep

Sentence: Adept at multitasking, Sean excelled as a cellsrep by chatting with his girlfriend, waiting on customers and doing his geometry homework all at the same time.

Etymology: cells: cellular + rep (short for representative) as in sales rep.

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Created by: didsbury

Pronunciation: mal-conn-ten-dant

Sentence: I am in a hurry but the staff in this shop are all such malcontendants there is no one who will serve me.

Etymology: Combination of malcontent and attendant. First used by Mark Twain to describe a particularly slovenly, family-run restaurant he visited in Mississippi. The restaurant gained notoriety and indeed some short lived success until it was forcibly closed by the owners who had a sense of humour failure when even physical abuse of the clientele wasn't enough to deter the hordes of malcontent-watchers.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 15:40:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: närsəssərvis

Sentence: Meme just knew that some day soon she would be discovered by a Hollywood Producer or modeling agent. The only reason she was working at the Mall was because her mom just didn't understand how much money she needed for her wardrobe and makeup and, of course, for the exposure. As she provided narcisservice to her customers, and practiced her texting skills, she wondered why it was taking so long to become famous.

Etymology: narcissist (extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration) + service (the action of helping or doing work for someone)

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Created by: tmcg5625

Pronunciation: in-shop-ord-in-ayshun

Sentence: Well friends, imagine my suprise when the shop keeper was playing non other than a bit of the old Ludwig Van! I strolled nonchalantly to the counter where i was my friends completely ignored! I dare say the only response to this kind of dreadful inshopordination is a bit of the old ultra violence.

Etymology: shop- sartorial purveyance. Insubordination- "Come over here and say that!"

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: klərk

Sentence: Calvin knows he needs to have a job. He doesn’t always understand that he needs to work. With his cell phone firmly planted on the side of his head, he can clirk just about any customer in the store. If a client is rude enough to interrupt his chat time, they will likely get not much more than a sigh. And, as everybody knows "sighs matters".

Etymology: clerk (an assistant in a store) + irk (irritate; annoy)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: cus/tum/ur/swurv/iss

Sentence: Customerswervice was so bad that I couldn't even make eye contact with the cashier let alone pay for my purchases.

Etymology: customer service + swerve

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COMMENTS:

They also swerve who only fail to wait on us. Good one. - Mustang, 2008-05-13: 20:24:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nahr-suh-sis-tuhnt

Sentence: Jane stopped to pick up a snack at the convenience store and found that the term was an oxymoron. The narcissistant was also some kind of moron. His mother must have told him he was the sun and that all the planets revolved around him. His attitude was like, "wait your turn Uranus".

Etymology: narcissist (a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish)+ assistant (a person who assists or gives aid and support; helper)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: at ten duns

Sentence: Jason was typical of the attendunts a retail store can afford, someone who spent his whole shift texting and phoning friends. Jason made people sorry they stopped by. When the CEO came on a Royal Visit, the whole entourage got busy and decorated the store. Except Jason, who told his immediate supervisor (who was 17) that he had to catch up on his filing. I smell an audit coming. Jason is now filing again...his unemployment papers.

Etymology: Attendant (cashier or clerk) & Dunts (To strike; give a blow to; knock) &dunce (stupid person)

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Created by: rebelvin

Pronunciation: patron+neglect

Sentence: Patroneglect at the mall was almost bad enough to make me yearn for the steady but excruciatingly slow attention customers get at the Post Office.

Etymology: patron+neglect

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Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /pey-trun-EY-jent/

Sentence: Denise was a regular customer at Le Chic Boutique, but the new patronagent at the counter treated her as if she were some person off the street, and pointedly ignored her for several minutes while chitchatting with his coworker before snatching her credit card, and then slamming a pen and receipt down in front of her. She was infuriated at his rude behavior... yet strangely turned on, too.

Etymology: Patronage - a condescending manner or attitude in dealing with people; patronizing (from Old French, patroniser "power to give favors") + Agent - a representative of a business or firm (from Latin, agentum "one who acts or conducts action")

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: snub skrybe

Sentence: "It's no wonder people shoplift", Betty thought as she waited yet again at Customer Service to make a payment on her layaway. The cashier was going to snubscribe her again because he was too busy yakking on his cellphone on a social call. Fed up, she went to the Store Manager and told him loudly that the hardest part about shopping there was the fact that you had to wait endlessly for them to take your money. The Store Manager would have responded to her sooner, but he was too busy texting someone...

Etymology: Snub (refuse to acknowledge;ignore) & Subscribe (receive or obtain by regular payment;pay (an amount of money) as a contribution to a charity or service, especially at regular intervals)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: rep - re - HENS - uh - tiv

Sentence: Gabrielle was appalled at the abysmal response of the customer service reprehensitive who seemed not to even notice her even though she made several attempts to gain his attention.

Etymology: Blend of 'reprehensible' ( Deserving rebuke or censure; blameworthy)and 'representative' (One that serves as a delegate or agent for another)

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Created by: RockLoveChick

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: dissed-sir-vissed

Sentence: June felt dissedserviced by the young cashier at the grocery. He was engrossed in texting his friends and flirting with the girls in the line next to him instead of paying attention to her. When she tried to get his attention he rolled his eyes. So, as a fequent customer, she felt justified in cussing him out.

Etymology: dissed: to show disrespect + serviced: assisted, helped

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash sneer

Sentence: When George stated on his application as a cashier at WalMart that he loved dealing with the public, he actually meant until he had to help them. He viewed all his transactions as interruptions and he was known by his bosses as a cashsneer. He further added to the popular notion that the hardest part about shopping there was trying to give them your money!

Etymology: Cashier (a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) )& Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls;smile contemptuously)

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COMMENTS:

funny! - splendiction, 2009-06-25: 22:32:00

I think I ran into George at the local toot and moo. Good one! - Mustang, 2009-06-26: 00:30:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: rep - re - HENS - uh - tuv

Sentence: Gabrielle was appalled at the abysmal response of the customer service reprehensitive who seemed not to even notice her even though she made several attempts to gain his attention.

Etymology: Blend of representative and reprehensible...

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COMMENTS:

Really good. A sterling effort! - Rutilus, 2008-05-13: 08:53:00

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-13: 13:06:00

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Created by: tim1998samson

Pronunciation: diminion marsion

Sentence: I had another one of those diminionmartion cash me out today I mean diminion's my favourite store but when a diminionmartion checks me out it's the worst.

Etymology: A mix of diminion and martion.

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COMMENTS:

For those of you who don't know diminion was a grocery store that was recently was taken over by Metro - tim1998samson, 2009-06-29: 08:14:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: un siv ill ser vant

Sentence: Megan was definitely a most uncivilservant. She never allowed anything as insignificant as a customer to interrupt her busy day. She was in a deep phone conversation (the fourth today) with her best friend, Vanessa, who was on duty working in another store, two blocks away. Their brainy exchanges usually went "Well, he says,I don't know,like, what are you doing?" "And I go,like, I dunno" "And he says 'Whatever'". "Can you imagine? Like, as if." Megan carried on in this vein for like five or ten minutes, when a customer arrived at her till. The customer was getting impatient. Megan glowered at him and turned her back to continue her very important phone call. When the man started saying, "Excuse me", Megan reluctantly turned around and chewing gum loudly, with her phone jammed into her ear, gave him an impatient "What do you want?" gesture with hands and face. Too late she twigged he wore a balaclava and held a gun in one hand (pointed at her head)and a bag to collect the money he was going to rob from her till, in the other hand. "Oh-Ma-God", she thought, "My cell phone is dying..."

Etymology: uncivil(rude, impolite,lacking good manners) & servant (one who serves or provides a service) & civil servant for rhyming (a public official, member of the civil service)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kash neer

Sentence: Joel is a customer service nightmare. He thinks customers are just there to annoy him and interrupt his more interesting pursuits. Joel is a cashneer. He neither knows nor cares why they are paying him. See Joel fail another secret shopper audit. Sorry, Joel, but you should have realized that the poor customer you detest gives your boss the money to pay you. Being paid is something you no longer have to worry about!

Etymology: cashier(a person responsible for receiving payments for goods and services (as in a shop or restaurant) & Sneer (a facial expression of contempt or scorn; the upper lip curls; a contemptuous or scornful remark;smile contemptuously)

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