Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

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Oblividude

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: Oblee-vee-Dude

Sentence: Michael's was the oblividude of the whole office, as apart from arriving late for the meetings he never took any action items during the meetings.

Etymology: Oblivious (lacking meaningful attention) + Dude

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Antiestablishmentcontraranism

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: antīistablishməntkəntrerēənizəm

Sentence: Justin expresses his antiestablishmentcontraranism by showing up for the annual company meeting in a clown outfit. Far from disrupting the gathering, the CEO ad libbed his speech to talk about the clowns that needed to be weeded out of the company.

Etymology: anti (against) + establishment (a business organization, public institution) + contrarianism (a person who opposes or rejects popular opinion)

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Procrasturbate

youmustvotenato

Created by: youmustvotenato

Pronunciation: pro-crass-stir-bate

Sentence: Rick whipped out his phone and commenced forth to procrasturbate during the meeting, much to the chagrin of corporate. Rick, of course, worked in IT.

Etymology: procrastinate and mast**bate.

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Agendabender

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ah jenda ben der

Sentence: Todd was a first class Agendabender. He hated meetings with a passion and felt they were a waste of time. Sometimes they had meetings just to decide when the next meeting would be! He was considered a renegade for not wanting to attend the meetings, he felt it cut into his time at work. Iromically, those persons who convened meetings ad nauseum, just want to hear their own voices and ideas and apparently did not have enough real work to do, nor deadlines to meet. Todd analyzed what these meetings comprised: "Minutes" of the meetings should actually be called "Hours"; The "Board Room" should have been renamed The "Bored Room"; the "Chair Person" should be called the "Stare Person"...'cause they always managed to spear the attendees with their eyes; and Preparation for a meeting?...the only one anyone really needed was "Preparation H" for the long periods of time spent sitting on the hard wooden chairs! Yes, it was obvious to Todd that some people in his firm got their MBA's specializing in congregation and mind-numbing rhetoric. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, Todd's days attending these mindless marathons were soon to be ended. He had just inherited the company from his uncle and his first order of business would be to agendabender the hell out of these pointless meetings!

Etymology: agenda { a list of matters to be taken up (as at a meeting)} & bender (someone who modifies the rules to suit themselves) & genderbender (for rhyming purposes, not that there's anything wrong with that!)

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COMMENTS:

I admire your witty word plays in quotes, and your story, for they very humorously and successfully convey the feeling of frustration. Perhaps before his agendabender to ease his frustration, he went on another kind of bender! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:35:00

Perhaps Todd is a "Boy George" fan? Clever word; luv the sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 02:26:00

Workershirker? Congrats! - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 09:30:00

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Convennui

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: kən-vēn'-wē'

Sentence: Having finished the crossword, sudoku and cryptoquote, Mervin was left to endure the remainder of the meeting in a tortured state of convennui.....OK, fine, this is a noun, not a verb. Take this: There was a young lawyer named Bree, Who practiced up in Kankakee. In the docket meeting, her interest was fleeting: She had a case of convennui. Whatever, dude.

Etymology: convene,to meet, Middle English convenen, from Old French convenir, from Latin convenīre, + ennui, boredom, from Old French enui, from ennuyer, to annoy, bore

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COMMENTS:

hehe! - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-24: 10:46:00

Fine job on the pronunciation. Your sentence is a double dose of hitting the definition, once in prose and once in rhyme ... you really fit everything in this time! Love the French flair in your etymology and verboticism. So well put together. Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:46:00

Enui-ne-scrumptious, as usual, stache. - doseydotes, 2008-03-24: 17:21:00

Mervin sounds like a real Convennuinie (pron. con-ven-wee'-nee). - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:05:00

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Attendunce

CrayonWarrior

Created by: CrayonWarrior

Pronunciation: X-SAMPA - QtendVns At-end-un-s

Sentence: Margaret was a real attendunce. she would show up at a meeting and sit there playing on her IPhone, with no clue as to anything going on around her

Etymology: Attend - to be present Dunce - a fool

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Offassoffender

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er

Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.

Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,

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COMMENTS:

That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00

Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00

Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00

Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00

Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00

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Disenwage

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: dis-en-WEYJ

Sentence: When Bob's eyes looked upon the bonuslessness of his salary cheque, he knew that tomorrow's monthly, marathon meeting would be a day full of disenwagement.

Etymology: With "disengagement" in mind, a blend of DIS+EN: to free oneself from & WAGE: Venturing, undertaking participating and WAGE: salary, reward, payment. COGNATES:DISENWAGEMENT, DISENWAGING, DISENWAGEE.

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COMMENTS:

petaj Bob was completely disincentivized and unmotiveized - petaj, 2008-03-24: 06:35:00

Short sentence but the powerful words and verboticims are put together so well it is very potent in conveying that feeling of being unappreciated being the reason for disenwaging. Great angle on this topic. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:11:00

Versatile word — could also be used to describe what people do when they go gambling in 'Lost Wages', Nevada, US (nickname for Las Vegas). - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:24:00

missed this yesterday - very apt - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-25: 12:19:00

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Slactor

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore

Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.

Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress

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Abspirited

Created by: Saylor

Pronunciation: ab-spirited

Sentence: Jack was always abspirited during our meetings. He never paid any attention.

Etymology: absent + spirit = abspirited. Absent in spirit only.

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James