Vote for the best verboticism.

'Our boss said I had to attend this meeting.'

DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.

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Verboticisms

Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...

You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.

Attendunce

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: att enn duhn sssssss

Sentence: The attendunce at the meeting was blimpressive

Etymology: attendance, dunce

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Muteinear

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: myoot in eer

Sentence: Phil was always a lazy, subversive radical in our management meetings. A Rebel without a Clause; a true American Idle;a Gatorade Renegade;an Insurgence Agent and a Maverick Manager. He never contributed any items to the agenda, never participated in discussions, absolutely never volunteered for any committees or extra tasks. He was a facilitator's nightmare. Instead of participating with his peers, he did crossword puzzles, read novels or watched his mini-tv. It had gone on so long unchecked that his peer group and a long line of his bosses just learned to ignore him. His purpose was ornamental, not functional. Just before he retired, the secret was revealed. He was a Muteinear...before each meeting, in fact before each work day, he simply took the batteries out of his hearing aids and enjoyed stress-free work days!

Etymology: Mutineer (open rebellion and refusal to obey authorities) & Mute (a device used to soften the tone of a musical instrument;deaden a sound or noise;expressed without speech; especially because words would be inappropriate or inadequate) & In Ear (inside the the sense organ for hearing and equilibrium)

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COMMENTS:

great word! - galwaywegian, 2009-01-14: 04:46:00

Laughed all the way through from the great first line to the punch line ending! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-14: 12:07:00

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Agendabender

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: ah jenda ben der

Sentence: Todd was a first class Agendabender. He hated meetings with a passion and felt they were a waste of time. Sometimes they had meetings just to decide when the next meeting would be! He was considered a renegade for not wanting to attend the meetings, he felt it cut into his time at work. Iromically, those persons who convened meetings ad nauseum, just want to hear their own voices and ideas and apparently did not have enough real work to do, nor deadlines to meet. Todd analyzed what these meetings comprised: "Minutes" of the meetings should actually be called "Hours"; The "Board Room" should have been renamed The "Bored Room"; the "Chair Person" should be called the "Stare Person"...'cause they always managed to spear the attendees with their eyes; and Preparation for a meeting?...the only one anyone really needed was "Preparation H" for the long periods of time spent sitting on the hard wooden chairs! Yes, it was obvious to Todd that some people in his firm got their MBA's specializing in congregation and mind-numbing rhetoric. Unbeknownst to the other attendees, Todd's days attending these mindless marathons were soon to be ended. He had just inherited the company from his uncle and his first order of business would be to agendabender the hell out of these pointless meetings!

Etymology: agenda { a list of matters to be taken up (as at a meeting)} & bender (someone who modifies the rules to suit themselves) & genderbender (for rhyming purposes, not that there's anything wrong with that!)

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COMMENTS:

I admire your witty word plays in quotes, and your story, for they very humorously and successfully convey the feeling of frustration. Perhaps before his agendabender to ease his frustration, he went on another kind of bender! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:35:00

Perhaps Todd is a "Boy George" fan? Clever word; luv the sentence! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 02:26:00

Workershirker? Congrats! - readerwriter, 2009-01-14: 09:30:00

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Narblivious

Created by: Niktionary

Pronunciation: nar-bli-vee-us

Sentence: Since she was the CEO's daughter, the new "Vice President of Positivity" was completely narblivious after finding out she had to fire the entire department.

Etymology: narscisistic+oblivious

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COMMENTS:

Never thought about this aspect! Potent sentence and etymology with an even more powerful verboticism. Powerful creation! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:50:00

I like the sound of it. - purpleartichokes, 2008-03-24: 14:07:00

Nice word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:48:00

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Barticipate

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: Bar-tissa-payt

Sentence: Roger arrived half-dressed and unshaven to the early sales meeting. He wasn't happy to be there so he sat back with the sports page and chose to barticipate for the entire meeting.

Etymology: 1.bar - to exclude. 2.participate - to take part in or share with others.

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Clusterduck

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kləstərdək

Sentence: Ron is pretty good at working alone but when it comes to meetings he's a clusterduck. If he attends at all, he is about as useful as a bent paperclip.

Etymology: cluster (a group of people or similar objects positioned or occurring close together) + duck (lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen) Also a derivative of another common term that starts with cluster.

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COMMENTS:

I know that guy! - otherguy, 2009-01-14: 08:02:00

I think we all know that guy... - Nosila, 2009-01-15: 00:13:00

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Illoiterite

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ill-OYT-er-ite

Sentence: An inveterate illoiterite, Thurgood typically came to the staff meeting totally unprepared, disinterested and withdrawn, chosing to read his girly magazine rather than to participate in the proceedings.

Etymology: Blend of 'illiterate' (displaying a marked lack of knowledge in a particular field) and 'loiter' (to linger aimlessly or as if aimless in or about a place) with the suffix 'ite' (Adherent or follower of)

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Slacktendant

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: slak-tend-ent

Sentence: Everyone who arrived at the meeting on time took a poll as to see what Jeff would bring with him to prove he was worthy of his slacktendant title. Two out of the four members who were there thought he would bring a copy of the latest anime or manga magazine he was sharing with Whistler from accounting. One said he would probably write emails and text his girlfriend on his Blackberry, while another said it had been a while since the last time he clipped his fingernails and toenails and plucked his nosehairs. Last Monday he brought the New York Times crossword puzzle and kept shouting out the words when he got them or muttering the clues under his breath.

Etymology: slacker (one who shirks work) + attendant (one who is present)

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COMMENTS:

Your sentence and word fit together, and fit the definition, like a hand in a glove Very well done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:40:00

You've no doubt met my brother in law, Mervyn? Great word! - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 06:13:00

Sorry, Mustang, I misspelled 'Mervyn' in my sentence. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:10:00

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Rotwhiler

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: rot while er

Sentence: Not one to bring a thing to the table, nor one to go and fetch, he never worked like a dog. He would sit for hours. He idled away the weeks, like they were all, dog days of summer. He was not a springer into action, and certainly not a pointer of the way. To meetings, he would go, but he was just a setter. He was a rotwhiler! Dog gone him!

Etymology: ROT, WHILE AWAY. Rot - to spoil; as in to spoil the meeting or the day. While away - to pass time idly.

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COMMENTS:

at least he went to meetings - our IT guys are all laptop dogs - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-14: 13:41:00

I had a dog just like that, but he was a pit poodle. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:56:00

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Doesntapplytameister

Created by: diyan627

Pronunciation: doesn't apply ta meister

Sentence: Rachna arrived at the meeting 10 minutes late sipping on her Starbucks coffee from a green straw, and set her cell phone on the conference table. Meanwhile the rest of us were contemplating how to merge the access databases so as to not lose the 10 months of research data and who was going to work on making the copies of the files before the merge. Her cell phone rang, and she excused herself. By the time she came back, we had assigned her a large portion of the inter-rater reliability data entry. After the meeting, she complained, "I have a Masters degree in public health; I shouldn't have to do data entry!" The Doesntapplytameister has been getting stuck with all the dirty work for so long now, and she can't quite figure out why.

Etymology: does not apply + to + me + meister

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:

Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin

As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.

But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.

Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.

I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.

Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.

I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.

I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.

Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.

I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.

A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.

I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-03-24: 08:40:00
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!

silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!

purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.

Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!

arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...

wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-05-31: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James