Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fit-ness-shlok

Sentence: Melvin once again found that he is a fitnesschlock, in such lousy physical condition that even moderate exercise caused not only excruciating pain, but left him lying on the couch for days recuperating.

Etymology: Blend of 'fitness' (physical condition) and 'schlock' (of low quality or value)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: strech/arms/st/rong

Sentence: Sam had a difficult time explaining why one of his arms was longer than the other after returning from his fabled lunchtime workouts. His only explanation was he stretcharmstwrong.

Etymology: stretch arms wrong + Stretch Armstrong

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: train-crash

Sentence: Connor's traincrash was the worst I'd ever seen at the gym. After two full days of repetitions on the machines, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep against the weights rack, which caused the weights to roll along the floor taking out half the yoga class, the rest of whom ran screaming towards the treadmills causing one of the joggers to lose his footing and suddenly shoot backward wherein he splashed into the pool causing a huge puddle to flood the floor beneath the weight rack giving Connor a terrible electric shock resulting in burns to 75% of his body and a nasty tremor that he'll have for the rest of his life.

Etymology: train (undertake a fitness program) + crash (incident that often causes injury) + train crash (something that is awful to witness)

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COMMENTS:

I've had a couple of those. Guess you could say I'm a 'trainwreck'. Great word. - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:49:00

too much loco motion, I suppose - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:49:00

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Created by: Jaye721

Pronunciation: here oh eye tis

Sentence: The gym was filled with pretty girls and his heroitis kicked in. When he lifted the 300lb weight he strained his arm and dropped the weight on his foot.

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2010-07-10: 04:35:00

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Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [pind] or [pwind]

Sentence: Determined to defeat his winter love handles, Mark finally returned to the gym only to be pwgymned by the chest press machine for five minutes, like a gnat under a toothpick, while he waited for a trainer to rescue him.

Etymology: A combination of 'gym', a building or room designed and equipped for indoor exercise, and 'pwned', a corruption of the word 'owned' denoting domination by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force. The combination sounds like 'pinned', meaning to hold something fast in a spot or position.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hurt ills

Sentence: Frankie's new fitness routine was self-designed and not well thought out. He tried to force ten years of inactivity into one afternoon at the gym to get in shape. Of course he instead caused himself a series of hurtills which required medical attention.

Etymology: Hurdles (to jump a barrier)& Hurt (injured;feel pain or be in pain ) & Ills (not in good physical or mental health)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: ōvərdoōd

Sentence: It doesn’t take much to get Mickey to overdude his weightlifting routine. Just someone looking his way can cause him to stack on extra weight. The resulting strains and pulls will keep him out of the gym for weeks.

Etymology: overdo (carry to excess; exaggerate) + dude (guy/fool)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

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