Verboticisms

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: mus/cah/la/tore/chur

Sentence: Musculatorture occurs when the muscles are strained beyond endurance which often happens trying to open the heavy gym doors.

Etymology: musculature + torture

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: were couch

Sentence: The annual january workouch proved as painful as always, the treadmill became a headmill, the bench press got a stranglehold which didn't release it's grip until he had peed on the pilates ball. The visit was followed by the annual visit to the chiropracter.

Etymology: workout, ouch

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COMMENTS:

Ouch indeed! - TJayzz, 2008-05-06: 20:56:00

Good one...do you think chiropractors own shares in gyms? mmmm - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:06:00

Excellent word! Simple yet versatile. - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 21:57:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fit-fawl

Sentence: Jim had not been in the gym for some time. His major fitfall was being friends with a "gym rat" who pushed him to pursue the same routine that he follows. Jim now has more pulled muscles than the number of muscles he knew he had.

Etymology: fitness (The state or condition of being physically sound and healthy, especially as the result of exercise and proper nutrition) + pitfall (any trap or danger for the unwary)

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Arobe-Ego-nakker-ism

Sentence: At the age of "he should have known better", Richard's desperate desire to recapture his (self-deluded and fictional) youth and prowess, led him to the foolish act of joining the local gym. Once there, the sight of all the highly flexible and youthful "Gumby" girls and the muscular posturing of the male "Hunk" brigade led him to the disasterous effort of trying to compete with those a generation his Junior. The next day in the intensive care wing of the local hospital, his medical chart was filled in by the docter with the phrase "Suffered from an acute case of Arobegoknackerism during an overenergetic kneebend"

Etymology: Arobe- Arobic- (Self-inflicted pain) / Ego (Delusional self opinion) / Knacker (to bring something or oneself to the point of destruction or injury)

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Created by: stache

Pronunciation: jĭm-mām'ē-əm

Sentence: He figued it was just a HALF-marathon, surely it would be no big deal. After all, before he'd laid off running-what was it, three and a nalf years now?-he'd had quite a few fun runs and even that one ten-K under his belt. Predictably, however, the event resulted in extensive gymaimium, from severe shin splints to bleeding, chafed nipples.

Etymology: Gym, var. of Jim, after workout guru Jum Belushi; maimi, var. of Mamie, after famous Jack LaLane mistress, Mamie Eisenhower; um, speech filler related to 'uh.'

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COMMENTS:

Galway's workouch goes well with your gymaimium. - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-06: 12:32:00

good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:44:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: ree-al-ittee-ayk

Sentence: Realityache. Newsome knew it all too well. Who was he kidding? What did he think was going to happen when he finally decided to get off his butt and start working out? Moderation? Nah. With full tilt workouts from the start and after a life of increasing sedentary circumstances, Newsome knew what realityache meant with each excrutiating movement of muscle in his body.

Etymology: reality + ache

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Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: week-tard

Sentence: Wes is such a weaktard when it comes to working out...he always lifts more than he can handle.

Etymology: Weak- Not strong. Tard- part of the slang word re'tard'- Acting stupid.

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

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