Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv loynd

Sentence: Nothing was sadder than Elsie and Bessie,the Bovine Sisters, a pair of loveloined heifers. Their success at attracting true love was terribull...there had been no chance of oxtasy for them. They were always steered in the wrong direction and although they played the field, literally, they were never stampeded by suitors. They decided to join an on-loin dating service on their cowmputers. They only had one beef with this service, it was udderly impossibull to find a young stud who told the truth and did not shoot the bull. These mavericks were always born a "Taurus", owned their own spread and would love to be a fodder. Their names turned out not to be Angus or Delmonico, but Chuck or Stew. Any success the sisters had with this service was strictly oxcidental. When she herd what they had done, their mother had warned them that Internet dating always ended in steers.

Etymology: lovelorn (unhappy in love; suffering from unrequited love) & loin (a cut of meat taken from the side and back of an animal between the ribs and the rump)

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COMMENTS:

Udderly Puntastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:26:00

Gives a whole new meaning to beefcake! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:37:00

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: li/bee/doe/oe/no

Sentence: Once again Sally was a victim of libidohno when she was lead by her errant hormones to a singles bar for transvestites.(not that there's anything wrong with that)

Etymology: libido + "oh no"

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COMMENTS:

being lead, her errant hormones were heavy metal? - readerwriter, 2009-02-11: 10:25:00

reminds me of the farside cartoons - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 13:38:00

Dunno which is worse...errant hormones or truant hormones. Eggzellunt word. - Mustang, 2009-02-11: 22:11:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: skôrnikāted

Sentence: After his blind date fell through — some lame excuse about a car accident and coma — Tim decided to see if he could get some action at the new bar in town. As he entered he thought to himself ”My lucky night. Must be lady’s night, the place is full of chicks”. As he made his way around the bar every eye seemed to follow him as well as a mood of disgust. Finally he left the Silver Beaver without scoring but feeling scornicated.

Etymology: scorn (feel or express contempt or derision for) + fornicate (sexual intercourse between non-married partners)

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COMMENTS:

Silver Beaver...Dam! - Nosila, 2010-08-25: 22:08:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: mādnchois

Sentence: Joice always seems to make the maidenchoice. She always seems to make decisions that keep her from meeting guys. Whether it's where she lives, between two retirement communities or her job in the morgue, she rarely finds herself in a position to meet anyone datable. The last handsome young man she saw in person was very cold, laying on a stainless steel table. The ugly hole in his head was a major deterrent to a night on the town.

Etymology: maiden (a girl or young woman, esp. an unmarried one) + choice (an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities)

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COMMENTS:

Does that mean that all the young women who live on Maiden Choice Lane won't find suiters? - otherguy, 2009-02-11: 07:28:00

or suitors... :-) - wayoffcenter, 2009-02-11: 07:59:00

Yes she's in a job where there is stiff competition to find a live one...especially with that co-worker of hers, Myra Mains! - Nosila, 2009-02-12: 00:39:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: Waylon Jennings

Sentence: After checking out the refuse collection station, the palliative care hostel and the bipolar support group for potential partners, Stephen finally joined Wailinjennings Anonymous, where ironically he met a sweet girl. They fell in love and were promptly kicked out because their change of demeanour was anathema to the other miserable members.

Etymology: Waylon Jennings - country singer who was "lookin for love in all the wrong places" + wailing (crying or singing plaintively)

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COMMENTS:

Great song and verbotomy! You have a humringer here! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 12:19:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: BLUN-der-lust

Sentence: Heloise once again found herself suffering the pangs of failed blunderlust, looking for love in all the wrong places and for all the wrong reasons, and feeling used, abused and definitely discarded....and of course, vowing once again to never go that route again.

Etymology: Blend of blunder and lust, and a play on the word 'wanderlust'...(a strong, innate desire to rove or travel about)

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COMMENTS:

At one time or another, doesn't everyone go through a case of blunderlust? Unforgettably good! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 12:14:00

Enjoyed this perfect blend of blunder and lust. - mweinmann, 2009-02-12: 09:10:00

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Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: chair-ub

Sentence: Cupid's arrow had struck her, right through the heart. From now on there was only one serial killer for her and it was Ivan. His scarred shaven head and crazy eyes made her weak at the knees. She was his chairub and she fought hard to save him from the chair, despite the 11 witnesses who saw his axe wielding escapade. Her scented love letters were the last thing he would read, before his eyeballs boiled and exploded from the 2000 volt current that would pass through his oddly shaped head.

Etymology: 1.cherub - an angelic baby eg Cupid the Roman God of erotic love. 2. chair (electric) - a device used for capital punishment for the most heinous crimes.

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COMMENTS:

Clever! Also plays on RUB, meaning difficulty or dilemma.. - readerwriter, 2009-02-11: 10:30:00

Electtrifying! Shocking! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:41:00

What a sentence! Too bad it couldn't have been commuted...where is that Governor when you need him? - Nosila, 2009-02-14: 23:19:00

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Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: HAL HOLE TROLE

Sentence: Ever since she and Hal broke up she's got that void to fill...so where else can you go to fill it other than the same kind of hellhole...Hal's favourite watering hole. When she gets that look in her eyes, you can tell she's doing the Halholetroll.

Etymology: HAL: a man's name HELLHOLE: terrible place WATERING HOLE: slang for drinking place TROLL: slang for looking for a member of the opposite sex by putting out bait and waiting for someone to show interest

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COMMENTS:

Gives a whole new meaning to holesome! etymology fits 'wrong places' to a T! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:31:00

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Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: gud-barr-ees-ta

Sentence: During her summer vacation, Miss Misty Pristine, tried working as a barista in the local tanning salon cum cafe, Sun Brew. She was so overt in her flirting attempts with the married insurance man who liked his French-pressed with hazelnut or the EMT studying to be a Paramedic who always asked for two shots in his Zippee, the house special. The local college students, making up courses in summer sessions, who loved her HavaJavaMints, called her The Goodbarista.

Etymology: From Looking for Mr. GOODBAR, the story of a young teacher looking for love + BARISTA, a mocha maker

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COMMENTS:

terrific reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-11: 10:39:00

Also a well-crafted, very clever sentence - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 11:45:00

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Created by: hyperborean

Pronunciation: rome-ee-oh

Sentence: He was getting lots of action, but couldn't find a nice girl to settle down with him. Could it be he was a roameo? He still hoped to hear wedding bells when he took that thirteenth step at Sex Addicts Anonymous.

Etymology: Romeo (Shakespeare's doomed lover) + roam (to go from place to place without purpose or direction.)

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