Verboticism: Progenitorturer

Progenitorturer

Created by: Clayton

Definition: n. A chosen mating partner who is not well-accepted by one's parents. v. To fight with one's parents over the selection of a suitable mate.

Pronunciation: proh-jen-i-TAWR-cher-uhr

Sentence: Kate brought the progenitorturer home again for Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that he managed to convince Grandma to give him a lap dance during grace. And that wouldn't have been so terrible, were it not for the cranberry sauce he'd smeared on his stomach. And that wouldn't have been so horrible, aside from the fact that...

Etymology: progenitor + torturer

Points: 157

Vote For

Comments: Progenitorturer

Jabberwocky - 2007-06-22: 10:32:00
he gargled with the wine and snorted the salt. He also...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 10:46:00
blew his nose on the host's napkin...

Jabberwocky - 2007-06-22: 13:11:00
and then he quoted the French Guard from The holy Grail and said 'I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!' At that outburst....

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 14:00:00
Kate realized she had to do something quick to stop his further indescretions. She abruptly rose from the table, scurried over to the progenitorturer, and stuffed the snotty napkin in his...

bubbos - 2007-06-22: 15:25:00
inverted third nipple

Jabberwocky - 2007-06-22: 15:45:00
which caused him to scream in pain. He then took the turkey carcass and hurled it at...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 16:50:00
Kate's grandma, who adeptly ducked the flying featherless fowl, and caused it to go careening across the room, knocking over the glass that held Grandpa's spare teeth in the process, which caused Grandpa to exclaim...

Clayton - 2007-06-22: 18:36:00
"I need my Viagra!," which confused everyone, including old widow Jones, who promptly removed her inhaler from her purse and began attempting CPR on the struggling cat, who was really a secret agent working for...

Stevenson0 - 2007-06-22: 18:46:00
CHAOS! The boyfiend jumped up and yelled "Let's wrestlemateia!", at which point ...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 18:56:00
Grandpa chimed in and said, "Well, I may be an old toothless impotent bugger, but I'm game!" Grandpa sprung, as fast as a grandpa can spring, to his feet and lunged at...

Clayton - 2007-06-22: 19:06:00
the mutilated turkey, which old Widow Jones was now attempting to revive with electric shocks from her taser, which she had received as a gift from...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 19:36:00
President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 19:49:00
President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 19:49:00
President Bush, who thought that all seniors should be equipped with semi-automatic weapons, but settled for tasers. While trying to resuscitate the mass of meat and bones, Widow Jones suddenly realized the phallic qualities of "stuffing the turkey", and turned her attentions to Grandpa. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her K-Why Jelly. Grandpa wasn't in the mood anyway, as he had just ...

Clayton - 2007-06-22: 20:04:00
the mutilated turkey, which old Widow Jones was now attempting to revive with electric shocks from her taser, which she had received as a gift from...

purpleartichokes - 2007-06-22: 20:12:00
James, who was trying to figure out why multiple posts happen. He was stumped. But Grampa quickly realized that it was all because...

Jabberwocky - 2007-06-22: 20:41:00
why read something once when reading it 3 times is so much better. But to get back to why Grandpa wasn't in the mood, it was because he had landed in a bowl of apple jelly and assumed it was Grandma. Now it was time for dessert and...

Clayton - 2007-06-22: 21:22:00
SUDDENLY - Garrison Sergeant Major Davis kicked in the front door and exclaimed, "What in Heaven's name have you done to my turkey?!" Apparently, there'd been so mix-up at the grocery store, when Mrs. Peterson, the local notary, had stumbled upon what she believed to be an indispensable clue as to the identity of the pharmacy technician counterspy responsible for stealing Grandpa's hormones from the bakery, but then she remembered that an elderly woman in the photo department had given her a picture of a cat with a hospital wristband engaged in some sort of illicit act with a gooseberry cobbler from the deli. A cobbler that may in fact contain Grandpa's missing pharmaceuticals, which upon its serving would...

petaj - 2007-06-22: 22:50:00
render the entire company with explosive diarrhoea and projectile vomiting. In the chaos that followed Grandpa mistook the remaining cranberry sauce for Grandma's k-why jelly due to his extreme colour blindness. He immediate scooped up a handful and ...

Clayton - 2007-06-22: 23:19:00
went to work on his treatise concerning time warps, prehistoric sharks, and the double negation principle, but his plan was cut short as a dozen pineapples fell on his head, knocking him unconscious and prompting old widow Jones to turn to Garrison Sergeant Major Davis, who had begun to strangle the cat, and say:

petaj - 2007-06-23: 00:31:00
"I can smell something burning, Sar'major Davis, you really must desist from spreading your wedding tackle with coconut oil and sunbaking. You'll come to a nasty end! and it sets a worrisome example for the young uns." Just then Grandpa came to muttering about pineapples at twice the speed of light, being relatively generally unified and not supporting string theory at all. "Eureka" he announced to the assembly who were still clutching their guts and trying to avoid slipping in what they had just voided. "Kate you must not marry this progenitorturer, until he returns triumphant from a quest. He must prove himself worthy by ..."

Jabberwocky - 2007-06-23: 00:47:00
gathering together all the verbotomists in a steel lined cell and mind melding their idiosyncrasies into one superhuman nurosies.. thus

Stevenson0 - 2007-06-23: 01:20:00
we must figure how to get them altogether. One way is to have a transitive verb, intransitive verb ,proper noun, common noun, adjective and adverb contest. James! Inform them of the contest. They will come. James informed them all by e-mail on the 23rd of June 2007 and...

Clayton - 2007-06-23: 02:56:00
sit back and watch the fireworks. Only then shall the turkey, the cat, Kate, her progenitorturer, Grandma, Grandpa, old widow Jones, Garrison Sergeant Major Davis, Mrs. Peterson the notary, and the rest of the unnamed characters in this story, who we will assume also includes a disgruntled Ma and a dipsomaniac Pa, as well as a few aunts, uncles, and cousins, truly be free. The end. We hope.