Created by: jadenguy

Pronunciation: pan ay see ak sen shu ay shon

Sentence: Little did Thomas realize that the memory pills would have this level of panaceaccentation. Soon, he was remembering the entire history of his family, learning deeper and darker secrets than he'd ever hoped to imagine, having seen in reminiscent first hand the moment of his conception, and what his father was doing at the other side of town when it happened.

Etymology: panacea + accentuation

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

The ashes of the latter half of last week are beneath me, forgotten, as I am reborn, at work again, assuming this week will suck as well. also, if you wanted to know what his dad was doing, *spoilers* probably drinking? - jadenguy, 2007-06-18: 11:38:00

His father must have been well hung -over to have managed it from the other side of town - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 11:49:00

that wasn't exactly the case, but let's just say they decided to stay together once the killherinsticts subsided. - jadenguy, 2007-06-18: 11:59:00

His mother was a peter panderer. (oops) - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-18: 13:00:00

Actually I think she only dated Dicks - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 14:25:00

She dated John's son for a schlong time - maybe he was the father. - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-18: 15:20:00

I think you're being a bit hard on John's son - he always practised safe sex - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 15:43:00

HA! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-18: 15:53:00

i warned you guys about getting cocky with puns! i'm really gonna have to drop The Hammer sometimes. it's getting hard to come here night after night. - jadenguy, 2007-06-18: 17:27:00

OMG, too funny! I guess the pen-is mightier than the sword! - purpleartichokes, 2007-06-18: 17:55:00

hehe - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 19:38:00

So, she dated John's son, and gave birth to Thomas, but where was John's Thomas? And how could she have known that Thomas wood grow into such a firm specimen? Sure, he seemed like a rigid tool to all the dorks he played ball with, but the staff found it hard to yank him. Of course, most of the jerks were jealous, having seen him whack multiple times with his club. Many of them attributed his exceptional schmuck to his years of wang chun training in Hung Dong. By the bellend he was ready to toss in the towel. - Clayton, 2007-06-18: 19:52:00

Clayton - you really are the master..... - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 19:58:00

I try. How's that for a happy ending? - Clayton, 2007-06-18: 23:35:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: not-thees [thin]

Sentence: Mr. Crooks always had a problem with his ears. One day, he went to the doctor and asked, "Doctor, my ears are semi-deaf. Hell, I can't even hear my own farts." The doctor gave him a wonder medicine that was described to miraculously heal the ears. One day, the meds kicked in and he was rushed to the emergency room with the wife screaming, "Notthis! Notthis!" The emergeny room was in a mess when the medicine that the doctor gave Mr. Crooks intensified his flatus rather than aid his hearing.

Etymology: not this

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: rephil

Pronunciation: pawnse

Sentence: Dr. A: "How did the procedure work out for Mrs. Hyde?" Nurse B: "The face lift turned out great -- got her a new boy toy. But he left over the stretch marks from the lipo -- so that was a bit of a ponce.

Etymology: Colloquial -- after Juan Ponce De Leon, first Spanish governor of Puerto Rico and legendary seeker of the Fountain of Youth.

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: joo ven eyl de lin kon se kwens

Sentence: Mabel was on the phone to her husband Walter's doctor about his most recent prescription and it's bizarre side effects. She asked him if was supposed to make him act young and immature again. "No", said, Dr. Gerry N. Tologist, "it's just supposed to revive his libido". "Well", said Mabel, "It has not done that because he is too busy listening to rap music, wearing his pants too low and acting like a punk. In fact, he's been arrested for driving his power chair too fast and spraying graffiti all over the neighbours' fences. I am throwing out these pills, because I cannot live with the juveniledelinconsequence of his actions!"

Etymology: Juvenile Deliquent (a young offender) & Consequence (aftermath;result;outcome of an action)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

wow what long word, it works too - sanssouci, 2010-01-13: 14:59:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: CharlieB

Pronunciation: ther-a-pew-tix

Sentence: Jim felt young again after he started taking the pills. He had endless energy and couldn't sit still. Unfortunately, the side effect was an uncurable nervous tic, where his head twitched manically all day and night. His wife left him and everyone pointed and laughed at him in the streets. But to him the therapeuttics were worth it. They'd all be dead and he'd be living it up in Ibiza.

Etymology: therapeutic (helpful healing) + tic (persistent muscular contraction)

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: ther-age-pew-trick

Sentence: The tragedy was that her older husband had only wanted to surprise her for her birthday, but instead the theragepeutrick resulted in him spending the weekend sucking on a pacifier and wetting his pants.

Etymology: therapeutic + age + trick

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

gives a whole new meaning to the endearment 'Baby' - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 14:23:00

----------------------------

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: Mrgoodtimes

Pronunciation: Pu - bes - cebo

Sentence: Martha would not have told her husband that she added a multivitamin to his breakfast if she could have foreseen the pubescebo effect it would have on him, resulting in a trip to the doctor after his back went out.

Etymology: Pubescent - Placebo

Voted For! | Comments and Points

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: yoo/thuh/ney/zee/ast

Sentence: Viagra and some other new miracle drugs are a form of youthanasia. With these drugs, young ideas, images and urgings are brought about in an old, incapable body.

Etymology: youth + euthanasia

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: Ree Flick Sir Lies

Sentence: I hesitated outside the brightly decorated shop and peered through the window. The shop was called Medimagic, it had only been trading for a month but already the business had got quiet a good reputation here in our little village of Greenwood, especially amongst the older community. Just the other day, while I was sitting on my wooden bench, relaxing in the afternoon sun outside my old little cottage. I was flabergasted to observe an energetic figure running towards me, my old mate Harold, 85 years old and there he was full of life like a sixteen year old lad! "They sell this herbal remedy George! They call it Relixerlize, I don't know what they put in it. It must be magic, look at me! I'm on fire" he loudly proclaimed, dancing around on my daffadils. Now here I was, curiosity got the better of me and I wanted a bit of what Harold had got. I stepped inside, I was getting myself some Relixerlize.

Etymology: reflex + elixer + revitalize = relixerlize reflex 1. noting or pertaining to an involuntary response to a stimulus 2. occurring in reaction; responsive. elixir 2.A substance believed to maintain life indefinitely. Also called elixir of life. 3. A substance or medicine believed to have the power to cure all ills. revitalize 1. to give new life to. 2. to give new vitality or vigor to.

Vote For | Comments and Points

Created by: bubbos

Pronunciation: You-ther-apy

Sentence: A heavy dose of youtherapy has made John realize what he's been missing all these years.

Etymology: Youth + therapy

Vote For | Comments and Points