Verboticism: Uglament

'Why are you putting that by the front door?'

DEFINITION: n., An ugly decorative item or article of clothing received from friends or relatives, which is kept stored away but ready to be pulled out at a moment's notice in anticipation of a return visit. v., To temporarily place an old, and perhaps unattractive gift in a place of honor.

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Uglament

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Gifthoarse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: Christmas Season means family visits and redecorating to accommodate and proudly show off the bizarre previous gifts reveived from the visitors. When Wendy & Peter redecorated, they always included the present his Mother had given him and thought was a perfect addition to their lodge-like home, Billy-The-Singing-Big-Bass-Fish-Stuck-On-A-Wall-Plaque. She would repeatedly push the button and play "YMCA" over and over, laughing all the way. Luckily so many years of abuse had almost worn out his singing voice and Billy was now a gifthoarse.

Etymology: Gift (present) & Gifthorse (a gift (usually of inferior quality) that should be accepted uncritically) & Hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion)

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Nandoohickey

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Nan-doo-hickey

Sentence: Dave looked high and low, knowing Sandra would have hidden the dastardly thing well, and eventually found it. Tucked behind the blankets on the bottom shelf in the linen cupboard, he found his grandmother's favourite teapot, the grotesque frills and golden seashells just too much to bear. But Nanna was coming for tea and would expect her most obvious rellymajigs to be on show. "Good grief!" said Sandra, "You can't expect me to use that awful nandoohickey! I should have dropped the damn thing last time."

Etymology: Nan or nanna - grandmother, or great-aunt, frequently known for giving strange or age-inappropriate gifts because you were five last time they saw you. Doohickey - gadget, thingamebob or whatchamacallit that some dolt gave you but you don't know what to do with.

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COMMENTS:

Good one - OZZIEBOB, 2008-12-17: 04:10:00

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Whitelephantasmagoria

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: whyt EL eh fan TAZ ma GOR ee ah

Sentence: Over the holidays, my house becomes a whitelephantasmagoria of sorts, as I rotate in and out the succession of useless and hideous items given to me over the years by various relatives. I have to keep a calendar of who is coming when, so that the correct one is on display on the correct day. God forbid I put out the horrid quilt made for my grandchildren by their grandmother, my EX-mother-in-law, when my CURRENT mother-in-law visits. She has an uncanny sense for such things.

Etymology: white elephant + phantasmagoria (a constantly shifting complex succession of things seen or imagined; a series or group of strange or bizarre images seen as if in a dream)

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COMMENTS:

Whitelephantasmagoria are kept in a special trunk...good word - Nosila, 2009-12-16: 22:15:00

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Ornamenstrocity

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ohr nam ens troh sitee

Sentence: it took three men and a JCB to mount the ornamenstrosity on the patio, but a gift from toni was a gift from toni, capese?

Etymology: ornament, monstrosity

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COMMENTS:

terrific word - Jabberwocky, 2008-12-16: 11:24:00

Great word - TJayzz, 2008-12-16: 13:15:00

Capese! You keep trying to put it away, but they keep pulling you back! - Nosila, 2008-12-16: 22:20:00

metrohumanx Fuggetaboutit! - metrohumanx, 2008-12-17: 01:05:00

Ornamentatious! - dochanne, 2008-12-17: 03:19:00

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Giftquester

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: gift/kwes/ter

Sentence: We have a box in our closet in the family room where we giftquester all the awful presents our relatives have given us and can be retrived at a moments notice and be placed accordingly some where in sight when they arrive at the front door.

Etymology: GIFTQUESTER - verb - from GIFT (a present) + SEQUESTER (to remove, or withdraw into solitude, or retirement; seclude)

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Gaudygiftredux

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: gaw-dee-GIFT-ri-duhks

Sentence: As he did at every Christmas, Elwood began his gaudygiftredux ceremony, dragging out several tacky and worthless gifts he'd received in the past in an effort to see that no feelings were hurt should those givers visit him again this year.

Etymology: Blend of Gaudy (cheaply showy in a tasteless way) Gift, and Redux (brought back; resurgent)

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Interimantlepiece

Created by: hendrixius

Pronunciation: /in-tur-ruh-man-tull-pees/

Sentence: John reluctantly displayed the interimantlepiece over the couch in the family room, despite the fact that a singing bass did not exactly match the room's decor.

Etymology: "interim" and "mantle-piece"

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Gifthoarse

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gift hors

Sentence: It had become a tradition at Christmas as much as decorating the tree and putting up lights. It meant Mother was coming to stay for the holidays and although we loved her dearly and looked forward to seeing her, we had to dig out that painting she had given us many years ago and hang it over the fireplace. It stayed the rest of the yhear in the attic. That's because it was painted on black velvet, with glow-in-the-dark paints, framed inside a gaudy rococco gilt frame. Yes, being his #1 fan, Mother had bought us a portrait of Elvis. Wearing a white jumpsuit, sneering into the microphone in his hand and tilting his pelvis our way! You could push a button at the bottom of the frame and tinny music of him singing would belt out. Our friends who visited over the years hooted and hollered at the tacky image. Neighbours would make the pilgrimmage each year to see The King. He was a gifthoarse that made people laugh and sing along. We always said we would pull him out for Mother's visit, so as not to hurt her feelings, but one of these years old age would overtake her and we would no longer be obligated to carry on the charade. It was then that we realized that the song he sang from the portrait, "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you" would become very poignant to us.

Etymology: gift (a present, something given) & hoarse (deep and harsh sounding as if from shouting or illness or emotion) & old saying: "Never look a gift horse in the mouth" old proverb which means don't question how you acquired something or what it cost. The advice given is be grateful for your good fortune and don't look for more by examining it to assess its value.

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Awwww. How moving. Nice work, Lady. - metrohumanx, 2008-12-16: 02:40:00

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Disguift

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: dis-gwift

Sentence: Mary smiled through gritted teeth as she opened the box containing Aunt Sally's latest knitted monstrosity. The crocheted trousers would be consigned to the disguift drawer immediately.

Etymology: disgust + gift

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Loodity

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: loo di tee

Sentence: Every Christmas, Jethro's Mom would arrive for her annual visit and he and his wife wouud be forced to hang up her gift to them. It was a black velvet painting of Santa sitting on a toilet and it was the height of loodity to them and a source of hilarity to others who happened to visit.

Etymology: Loo (toilet) & Lewd (rude & suggestive)& Oddity (unusual)

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