Verboticism: Squirlvestor

'Is my money safe with you?'

DEFINITION: n. A bank which pays huge salaries to its executives who bet their customers' money on dumb investments, risky loans, and the inevitable government bail-out. v. To lend, spend, and mismanage a bank into bankruptcy.

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Squirlvestor

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Dinvestor

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: din - vest - or

Sentence: Margery began to suspect that her bank had become a dinvestor instead of an investor of her funds. Lately, she was growing suspicious that either they were incompetent or that they were siphoning off funds and worried that her money might disappear. There were an increasing number of expensive cars in the parking lot but the property was looking a bit unkempt. She had also stopped receiving statements lately....hmmmm

Etymology: Divest + Investor >>> Divest (In finance and economics, divestment or divestiture is the reduction of some kind of asset for either financial goals or ethical objectives. A divestment is the opposite of an investment) Investor (A person who invests money in order to make a profit)

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Perfundory

thegoatisbad

Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: per-fun-dor-e

Sentence: Kimberly wasn't concerned about the perfundory attitude of bankers because she kept all her dollars stuffed into a mattress locked inside her panic room. In her words: "my funds are not some fat cat's fundough to shape into a golden parachute!"

Etymology: Perfunctory (with little care) + Fund (reserve of money)

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Bankrapecy

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bangkrāp(t)sē

Sentence: The punishment for bankrapecy is a million dollars less in bonuses. Bad, bad banker! Take that you naughty person!

Etymology: bankruptcy (declared in law unable to pay outstanding debts) + rape (the crime of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse without their consent)

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Shitibank

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: Shit-EEE-Bay-n-k

Sentence: "I just got a job at Shitibank!" exclaimed Joe the plumber as he leapt unknowingly down the stairs to his demise. To the horror of his co-workers and recent ex-coworkers, they wondered if Joe knew he had been laid off before his neck hit the last step?

Etymology: A loan, a dick, and your ass.

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COMMENTS:

Good play on Citibank butt the etymology?? - mweinmann, 2009-01-27: 11:44:00

Great word...you'd think with exorbitant interest they charge they could keep a few more Joe's on staff.. - Nosila, 2009-01-27: 23:20:00

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Mortgouge

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mor gowj

Sentence: Remember the good old days, when a bank was synonymous with fidelity, trust, credit? Now they only pay you interest when they want to lien on you. They mortgouge your soul and make you do a balancing act everyday. They venture your hard-earned money and sell it into bondage. They make an asset out of you and me and you can take that to the bank.

Etymology: Mortgage (a conditional conveyance of property as security for the repayment of a loan; put up as security or collateral) & Gouge (obtain by coercion or intimidation)

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Bankrapers

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: bank rape ers

Sentence: As CEO (Cheat Em Officer) of the bank, the first disorder of business was to set my salary at a million of your invested dollars, per year. Of course, each bored member voted the same for themselves. Knowing loans made, would never be repaid, we voted to lend all our business buzzard friends, millions more, so they could carrion their extravagant lifestyles and hide their rotting businesses. The rest of your money, we sinvested in the worthless stock of these business buzzards' companies. For screwing you out of your money, and screwing the government out of billions more, we have become known as the biggest bankrapers in history!

Etymology: BANK, RAPE. Also a word play on bank robbers. BANK - business offering financial services: a business that KEEPS MONEY for individual people or companies, exchanges currencies, makes loans, and offers other financial services. RAPE - violent abusive destructive treatment.

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Baringesse

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: BAIR-ing-JES

Sentence: After the baringesse of his personal banker and his financial planner, Bob's life became downgraded to standard and poor. Furthermore, upon finding out that OED. had redefined "Profit" as an archaic word no longer in use; and that his key banker was living in luxury in the Virgin Islands, the term "instutionalised investor" repercussioned in his head.

Etymology: Formed from BARING: Speculative trading on Singapore's International Monetary Exchange caused the spectacular collapse of Barings Bank, the United Kingdom's oldest investment bank. Barings bank was founded in 1762 by John and Francis Baring & LARGESSE: generous bestowal of gifts. 2. the gift or gifts, as of money, so bestowed.

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COMMENTS:

World Class sentence and word. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:03:00

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-27: 10:18:00

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Investmentbanqueter

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: in/vest/ment/ban/kwet/tur

Sentence: When I was lining up at the soup kitchen I saw the group of investmentbanqueters who had managed my portfolio stepping into a limo to take them to the investmentbanqueting eat all you can buffet.

Etymology: investment banker + banquet

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COMMENTS:

Food for thought! Good one - TJayzz, 2009-01-27: 10:10:00

Well said. Super Word! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-27: 10:22:00

metrohumanx Only BELUGA caviar, please. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-27: 15:25:00

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Fiscalpredaterminus

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: FISS-cull-pred-uh-TERM-ih-nuss (fiscalpredaterminate)

Sentence: Chairman Moe bought his little bank at a fire sale in the 1980's and watched it grow into a financial ziggurat through astute aquisitions, lavish lobbying and deregulation. After stashing his nestegg in the Cayman Islands, Moe watched with detachment as his friendly neighborhood bank became a FISCALPREDATERMINUS - a final resting place for his depositor's hard earned money. As the pyroclastic flow of bad loans and foreclosures swept the monetary madhouse, Moe relaxed on a sandy beach, sipping tropical beverages from coconuts and playing idly with the little paper umbrellas. Next time he would have to increase his executive compensation.

Etymology: FISCAL+PREDATor+TERMINUS= FISCALPREDATERMINUS.....FISCAL:of or relating to financial matters;Latin fiscalis, from fiscus basket, treasury.....PREDATOR:one that preys, destroys, devours or plunders,a mode of life in which wealth is primarily obtained by the killing and consuming of lesser institutions or corporations;Middle English predacion, from Latin praedation-, praedatio, from praedari.....TERMINUS:a final goal,a finishing point,a route leading ultimately to death,being in the final stages of a fatal disease;Latin terminalis, from terminus.

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Bankboozle

Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: bank boo zl

Sentence: Bankboozle (noun or verb). The bankboozle denied its shifty ways of taking finance to the extreme: purchasing companies that didn't exist, providing discredit and embezzling the rest to their shrwiss accounts.

Etymology: This word is a combination of "bank" and part of the word "bamboozle". Bank means to hold (in this case, one's money or investments) and bamboozle means to hoodwink, deceive or confuse.

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COMMENTS:

I think I've been bankboozled before. Good word. - Mustang, 2009-01-27: 19:42:00

meaning so apparent, easy to say, fun to say, good pun, has originality ... exceptional verbotomy. - silveryaspen, 2009-01-28: 01:44:00

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