Verboticism: Toolfoolery

'My nose hairs are scary!'

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.

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Toolfoolery

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Disasterisk

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK

Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.

Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, ast─ôr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00

metrohumanx http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00

metrohumanx As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00

I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00

Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00

Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00

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Electrocutilize

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: ee lek tro CYU til ize

Sentence: Stumpy likes to electrocutilize power tools for more mundane purposes. Last year, he electrocutilized his belt sander to polish his shoes - while he was still wearing them. That's why his nickname is Stumpy.

Etymology: electrocute + utilize

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Mixmasterplumber

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: mix/mas/tur/plum/ur

Sentence: "Honey - this mixmasterplumber is working like a dream with the plug in the toilet and I'll be done in time for you to finish making the birthday cake."

Etymology: Mixmaster + master plumber

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COMMENTS:

Yikes! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-09: 18:34:00

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp lem ent

Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.

Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)

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Oooooooooohtensil

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ooooooooooh ten sihl

Sentence: with one quick twist of the pliers and the addition of an electric motor. the kitchen utensil became an oooooooooooohtensil.

Etymology: utensil, oooooooooh

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Machamorphosis

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Mak-a-mor-foe-sis

Sentence: Budding inventor Ivor Patent-Pending, cleverly adapted his ceiling fan every winter by machamorphosis so that it blew out hot air, thus being able to dry his clothes when the weather was bad.

Etymology: Blend of Machine(an apparatus using mechanical power) and Metamorphosis(alter, to change completely)

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx RIGHT-O TJ!...and with a string attached, it makes an EXCELLENT cat toy! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:20:00

metrohumanx Machamorphosis....like a luvely flutterby! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:25:00

good one - galwaywegian, 2009-03-09: 14:27:00

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Dimprovise

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Dimm-pro-vize

Sentence:

Etymology: Dim + Improvise

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COMMENTS:

like it ! - galwaywegian, 2010-09-21: 03:22:00

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Gadgetlag

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gad jet lag

Sentence: Ever since Wilbur & Orville had sent air travel to the next plane, A.Fred O'Travel worked night and day to find something to help passengers get over the fear of flying. More specifically, he found passengers were not as much afraid of flying and as afraid of getting the dreaded jet lag, which could immobilize them upon disembarkment. So Fred made a device which helped passengers to calm down and not shout out as embarrassing statements as "They are going in the wrong direction" and turn them into positive statements, like, "We don't care where the pilots land, as long as it is on Earth!" Not only did this tool (which was placed in each passenger's drink, act as an anti-gadgetlag, it made the passengers remember a happy, ethereal experience, which made them want to book again and again with NirvanAir.

Etymology: gadget (a device that is very useful for a particular job) & Jet Lag(fatigue and sleep disturbance resulting from disruption of the body's normal circadian rhythm as a result of jet travel)

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COMMENTS:

Egad! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 14:57:00

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Innovention

Created by: kalex

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Twingineering

Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: /TWNJNRNK/

Sentence: Carol's use of the wiffleball bat, a feral cat, and 22 binder clips in her perverse twingineering experiment resulted in the summoning of no less than three ambulances to attend to the neighbor who was mistaken for a burglar.

Etymology: twin + engineering (as if you hadn't already figured that out...)

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-09: 13:53:00

got a big laugh from the things you chose to twingineer. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 14:15:00

Good word. - kateinkorea, 2009-03-09: 18:42:00

I twin-ge with laughter! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:55:00

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