Verboticism: Toolfoolery

'My nose hairs are scary!'

DEFINITION: n. A tool which has been re-purposed and is now being used (perhaps unsafely) to perform a completely different function. v. To use a tool for a different purpose than for which it was originally designed.

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Limplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lim ple ment

Sentence: Eileen was attemting to use her recycled saw to trim her nose hairs. Unfortunately, it slipped and severed her leg, making it a limplement. She now spells her name I-Lean...

Etymology: Limb (arm or leg or tree branch) & Implement (tool, device, instrument)

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COMMENTS:

Are you sure her name wasn't Noeleen? - galwaywegian, 2013-07-04: 07:29:00

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Conglomergreats

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: cun glom er grates

Sentence: Alan Rench was out camping. He liked to rough it in the mountains. His sawtoothed blade doubled as his comb. His screw driver stirred his beans in the tin bucket, simmering over the campfire, as it hung by the tire iron, held aloft by his jack. His plate was one of his hubcaps. His pocket knife did triple duty, for he used it as his spoon and fork, too. He sang the old saw "I eat my beans with honey. I done it all my life. It makes 'em taste quite funny, but it keeps 'em on my knife." He also used his pocket knife to scrape his hubcap plate clean. Alan's multi-duty use of all his tools made them his conglomergreats!

Etymology: CONGLOMERATE - mix of many things. GREAT - large in number. So tools that be used for a mix of many things in a large number of ways are conglomergreats.

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COMMENTS:

It's a bit of a tongue twister, but if you can eat your beans off your knife, your tongue won't trip over it! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:11:00

metrohumanx I'd LOVE to camp out with you! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:13:00

metrohumanx Did you know you can cook flounder on your engine's manifold? It's VERY eco-efficient ! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:18:00

I'd only cook a fish on the manifold for the halibut! And ps, silvery, they should be called BEEns! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:53:00

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Gadgetlag

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gad jet lag

Sentence: Ever since Wilbur & Orville had sent air travel to the next plane, A.Fred O'Travel worked night and day to find something to help passengers get over the fear of flying. More specifically, he found passengers were not as much afraid of flying and as afraid of getting the dreaded jet lag, which could immobilize them upon disembarkment. So Fred made a device which helped passengers to calm down and not shout out as embarrassing statements as "They are going in the wrong direction" and turn them into positive statements, like, "We don't care where the pilots land, as long as it is on Earth!" Not only did this tool (which was placed in each passenger's drink, act as an anti-gadgetlag, it made the passengers remember a happy, ethereal experience, which made them want to book again and again with NirvanAir.

Etymology: gadget (a device that is very useful for a particular job) & Jet Lag(fatigue and sleep disturbance resulting from disruption of the body's normal circadian rhythm as a result of jet travel)

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COMMENTS:

Egad! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 14:57:00

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Electrocutilize

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: ee lek tro CYU til ize

Sentence: Stumpy likes to electrocutilize power tools for more mundane purposes. Last year, he electrocutilized his belt sander to polish his shoes - while he was still wearing them. That's why his nickname is Stumpy.

Etymology: electrocute + utilize

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Toastercoaster

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: toe/ster/coe/ster

Sentence: The toastercoaster is a wonderful invention for making toast and keeping your hot chocolate warm.

Etymology: toaster + coaster

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Dimprovise

Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: Dimm-pro-vize

Sentence:

Etymology: Dim + Improvise

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COMMENTS:

like it ! - galwaywegian, 2010-09-21: 03:22:00

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Insinkerjuicer

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: IN-sinker-juicer

Sentence: Darren, tired of cleaning the fibrous mess from his juicer, cobbled together a weird attachment for his garbage disposal unitt so that he could extract his favourite vegetable and fruit juices while the leftover bits simply disappeared down the sink. Being an ardent greenie, he also plumbed the outlet so that the watery mass of vegetable matter was washed into the compost bin.

Etymology: Insinkerator (garbage disposal) + juicer

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Pimplement

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp lem ent

Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.

Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)

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Adapdeadly

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ad ap ded lee

Sentence: Her array of adapdeadly tools included the cheesecuttercontraceptivewire, which took all risk of pregnancy and enjoyment out of the proceedings

Etymology: adapted, deadly

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Macgyvervise

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: mak-gai-ver-vais

Sentence: When Dean returned to the parking lot only to find that some vandal had ripped the spark plug wire off his motorcycle, he pulled out his handy little wire-bound notebook, unwound the wire, and used that to MacGyvervise the spark plug wire, and was quickly on his way home.

Etymology: MacGyver - fictional television character known for his inventive use of common items, and practical science, to solve problems. + Improvise - to make or provide from available materials.

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COMMENTS:

If you read my sentence, that really happened to me. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 01:57:00

metrohumanx I believe, Tigger. I once plugged a vacuum hose on my Toota Corolla with a golf pencil and escaped from very unsavory suburb just in the nick of time. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:04:00

metrohumanx And iu repaird my muffler at a rest stop with an empty tomato paste can, aluminum foil, and the ever-useful coat hanger! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:22:00

metrohumanx Mye pennmonchip seams toobe deteriorating az da nite wears on....zorry! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 02:24:00

Truth is always stranger than fiction. Great Create! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 11:07:00

what do you mean fictional? - galwaywegian, 2009-03-09: 12:00:00

he pulled out his handy little wire-bound notebook, unwound the wire, Very inventive and good word there & fast thinking on your part to repair your motorcycle!> (and used that to MacGyvervise the spark plug wire, and was quickly on his way home.) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-14: 19:01:00

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