Verboticism: Heartlyanycalories

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Heartlyanycalories

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Yomammasoghurt

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: yo-mumma-sow-gurt

Sentence: Brandon had made a special effort cooking for his wife Kylie for their 10th wedding anniversary. A seafood salad and some fine wine followed by fresh fruit and yomammasoghurt. "What's this?" asked Kylie. "Urm, the kids ate all the double choc-fudge ripple icecream" he sheepishly replied.

Etymology: 1. A play on the Yo' Mamma so fat jokes. eg 'Yo' Mamma so fat she aint got a waistline, she got an equator'. 'Yo' Mamma so fat they gotta take her licence picture with a satellite'. 2. yoghurt - a food product made from curdled milk.

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COMMENTS:

Never heard any Yo' Mamma jokes before, so thanks for for something new. Yoghurt is a word I'll be using as I don't like it. Well-crafted, punsome, funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:35:00

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Karatcake

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kar at kayke

Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.

Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)

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Heartlyanycalories

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: hart/lee/any/cal/or/ees

Sentence: Heartlyanycalories is the newest sensation to hit the shelves this Valentines day. Each box of these chocolate peanut butter hearts is generously laced with salmonella that will ensure not only that you don't gain an ounce but guarantees that you'll lose plenty.

Etymology: heart + hardly any calories

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COMMENTS:

Great - TJayzz, 2009-02-09: 07:52:00

Sizzling sentence, better than the news has done! Your verbotomy is a confection of perfection! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:42:00

good play on words...liked it. - mweinmann, 2009-02-10: 09:36:00

That's so funny. - kateinkorea, 2009-02-12: 21:25:00

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)

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Fannymaynot

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: fan - nee - may - not

Sentence: With Burt's Valentine's gift, Gloria's fanny may not become larger..... He gave her a fannymaynot heart, filled with little gifts instead of candy.

Etymology: Fanny + Fanny May + May Not >> Fanny (another word for buttocks) Fanny May (A popular brand of Candy, often given for Valentine's day) May Not (a prohibition, might not, not allowed to)

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Choconots

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots

Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.

Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"

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COMMENTS:

Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00

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Sweetgnawthings

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: sweet naw things

Sentence: Why was it when James whispered sweetgnawthings into Jenny's ear,she felt hungry. He called her his Sweetie Pie; his Lamb Chop, his Tutti Frutti, his Honeycakes and his Chocolate Passion. Luckily these sweetgnawthings cost her no calories, but left her feeling hungry and needing something tasty.

Etymology: Sweet Nothings (to whisper inconsequential expressions of affection into her ear) & Gnaw (to bite or chew on with teeth)

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COMMENTS:

Mind play with word play! Wow! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-11: 02:37:00

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Romancingthebones

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Ro-w-man-sing-the-bowns

Sentence: Noticing his wife had put on a few extra pounds over Christmas, Steve decided on a romancingthebones gift for Valentines Day. Instead of the usual large box of chocolates, he bought her a pair of trainers. He did also buy a huge bunch of flowers to bring out, just in case she tried to hit him with the footwear.

Etymology: Romance(Court the favour of) SEE ALSO Romancing the Stone(1984 Romantic Comedy starring Michael Douglas

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COMMENTS:

terrific - Jabberwocky, 2009-02-09: 08:43:00

Darling! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:37:00

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Goodiva

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gooddahyva

Sentence: Will's ample-figured girlfriend loves her chocolate. Valentine's Day puts him in a quandary. Does he support her desire to be healthier or her vices? He may have found a way to do both as long as she doesn't notice the slight labeling change on the big box of sugar-free knockoff brand of Goodiva chocolates.

Etymology: good (of high quality) + Godiva (brand of high-end chocolate)

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Xerofatgy

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy

Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.

Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT

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COMMENTS:

Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00

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