Verboticism: Whinestein

'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Customonster

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər

Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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Paintron

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: payn tron

Sentence: Most customers are nice. They are happy you help them, grateful when you go out of your way to serve them. They are true patrons, they pay your wages. Then there is the paintron, he makes you earn your wages and then some. Although he is only one in a hundred, he makes noise and aggravation enough for the other ninety-nine. You may not remember all the nice ones, but you can never forget the bad ones. Thank goodness they are in the minority!

Etymology: Pain (emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid;a bothersome annoying person)& Patron (client, customer)

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Transfereturnence

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: trans-fer-re-turn-ence

Sentence: A good CSR knows when an irate customer is making a transfereturnence. When a man complains about a kitchen gadget it means that he had a fight with his wife. When an irate woman argues with him about a sweater it's often because her mother made a nasty comment about it. But when someone returns Postits because they're the wrong color it often reveals some serious potty training issues.

Etymology: transference:in psychoanalysis - the process whereby emotions such as rage or hatred are unconsciously shifted from one person or object to another + return: to bring back to the original place of purchase; coming back to a place or situation

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Tirate

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Whinexpert

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyn ex pert

Sentence: John came into the venders every week, bought 2 bottles of the chaepest plonk he could find and then complained about them next week. He was quite the whinexpert and grew so annoying, the finally barred him from the shop.

Etymology: Whine (complain in annoying manner) & Wordplay on Wine Expert (oenophile;connoisseur)

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Shopabrawlic

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: shop - a - brawl - ick

Sentence: John had a really nasty problem that he couldn't seem to control. He often got into intense arguments with shop clerks and check-out personnel in stores over everything from the prices of goods to their functionality. His shopabrawlic behavior was out of control and he couldn't seem to help himself. He felt so much better after an argument that he often bought things just for the thrill of the argument.

Etymology: The word shop (which means to purchase or look for) is combined with brawl (to quarrel angrily or disruptively). This is also kind of smashed in with alcoholic to denote an addiction to the behavior.

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COMMENTS:

very nice - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-13: 14:47:00

Spot on. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:48:00

And the Shopabrawlics all come out at the full moon...oh, that's today! Good Word, timely. - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:48:00

Great! - TJayzz, 2008-11-14: 04:23:00

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Tantrumonsters

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tantrəmänstərs

Sentence: Reggie knew his day was shot when he saw them coming through the door. The tantrumonsters had arrived. The bus from the assisted-living home must have jettisoned its cargo. These three seemed to have nothing better to do than complain over minutia. He calls them T-Vex, Rageasaur and Triscarytops. This time he was ready for them. He threw up a bogo (buy one, get one) banner to momentarily distract them and made a dash for the stock room. It didn't take long for them to get bored and move onto another store and another customer service rep to gnaw on.

Etymology: Tantrum (an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in young child) + Monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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COMMENTS:

Nice blend. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:50:00

Nice story....those dinosars put the "Sore" in Thesaurus! - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:46:00

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Schmucack

Created by: courty3303

Pronunciation: sh-moo-sack

Sentence: I schmucacked that idiot.

Etymology:

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Conshrewmer

Created by: grohldberg12

Pronunciation: (Cun//shroo//mar)

Sentence:

Etymology: Consumer + Shrew

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Cursetommer

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: kurs tom mer

Sentence: He returned the swearword dictionary with plenty of loud cursetommer. "What a cursetommer!" said the courtesy counter lady, "Why he probably wrote that book!"

Etymology: Interplay of curse and customer. Curse having the double meaning of (1)swearing (using bad negative words) or (2) casting a spell, usually an evil one. Customer meaning one who purchases goods or services.

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