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'These Post-it Notes don't post!'

DEFINITION: v., To share your feelings with a customer service representative by using a perceived product deficiency to express your own sense of inadequacy and/or deep seated rage against the world. n., An irritating or annoying customer.

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Verboticisms

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Whinebuyer

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne by er

Sentence: Corky McPlonk was a regular complainer to the winery. He usually had a burgundy beef, a grape gripe, a grappa grumble, a cabernet carp, a retsina regret or a white whine whimper. He was a whinebuyer they just hated to hear from...they didn't know if he drank too much or too little of their products. From Rhone moans, to Liebfraumilch laments, to Rosé rants to Muscatel mutters, he was never happy. One day he phoned and had a cork kvetch. "Your merlot is hard to open...how can I enjoy it if I can't decant it?" he bellowed. The service associate told him that the bottle would open easier if he simply unscrewed the metal cap. Shiraz shooting, it worked!

Etymology: Whine (complain;a complaint uttered in a plaintive whining way) & Buyer (Customer, patron;purchaser)

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Transfereturnence

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: trans-fer-re-turn-ence

Sentence: A good CSR knows when an irate customer is making a transfereturnence. When a man complains about a kitchen gadget it means that he had a fight with his wife. When an irate woman argues with him about a sweater it's often because her mother made a nasty comment about it. But when someone returns Postits because they're the wrong color it often reveals some serious potty training issues.

Etymology: transference:in psychoanalysis - the process whereby emotions such as rage or hatred are unconsciously shifted from one person or object to another + return: to bring back to the original place of purchase; coming back to a place or situation

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Tirate

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Infermidate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: in-FIR-meh-dayt

Sentence: Waldo would try to infermidate customer service clerks with belligerently exaggerated complaints about products or services.

Etymology: Blend of 'infer' (to hint; imply; suggest)and 'intimidate' (to make timid; fill with fear)

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Cathareturn

Created by: zavijava

Pronunciation:

Sentence: After the 100th complaint that someone's Mii didn't love them anymore, Best Buy set up a separate line for people wanting to cathareturn things, with a pyschology student running customer service.

Etymology: catharsis+return Noun: Cathareturner

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Crusstomer

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: cruss/tum/ur

Sentence: All clerks manning the crusstomer service counters should be equipped with IPODS playing soothing music with positive reinforcement lyrics.

Etymology: customer + crusty (irritable) + cuss (slang for curse)

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COMMENTS:

Shades of "Crusty the Clown." Nicely blended. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:53:00

Good word - TJayzz, 2008-11-14: 04:21:00

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Grobble

Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: graw bul

Sentence: Every time he was displeased with a purchase, Mike would grobble about his difficult life.

Etymology: grob, n., a petty complaint issued by whiny lips and registered by those who don't know better.

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Harasshole

Created by: Tigger

Pronunciation: /hah-ras-hohl/

Sentence: Oscar had plenty of cars he needed to work on today, but for twenty minutes now he'd been stuck listening to some harasshole complain that the forty thousand mile warranty on his wife's car tires 'under normal driving conditions' should cover her repeatedly running over curbs, because, he claimed, that's how she normally drives.

Etymology: harass - to torment, as with troubles or cares; pester; persecute (Middle French, harasser "to harry") + asshole - a stupid, mean, or contemptible person, [or a donkey's poopchute, perhaps?] (Origin: 1350–1400; Middle English, arshole "anus")

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COMMENTS:

How funny!!! I can't stop laughing! Love the word, sentence and the description. Good one! - bananabender, 2008-01-16: 05:50:00

great word - Jabberwocky, 2008-01-16: 10:45:00

Funny and a great word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-01-16: 16:23:00

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Custobluster

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəbləstər

Sentence: The store wasn’t even open yet but there he was, Mr. Bellow. At least that’s what Carlos and his coworkers call him. He is full of custobluster, all too ready to scream and yell about whatever minor issue he could find. He doesn’t really worry Carlos that much. He can easily be distracted by the introduction of the newest ”shiny thing”.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + bluster (talk in a loud, aggressive, or indignant way with little effect)

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Foolabluster

Created by: Redrover

Pronunciation: fool-uh-bluster

Sentence: Mark's earbuds are so small that his customers aren't even aware that he can't hear a single word of their foolablustering.

Etymology: fool= a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense bluster = noisy, empty threats or protests

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2008-01-16: 01:08:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-04-12: 00:30:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James