Verboticisms

Created by: yellowbird

Pronunciation: ty-rate

Sentence: Judy waited for the red-faced woman to wind up her tirate before holding up the little white score card on which she had written 8.5. For some reason, this seemed to make the customer even angrier.

Etymology: tirade + rate(as in product rating)

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: in-FIR-meh-dayt

Sentence: Waldo would try to infermidate customer service clerks with belligerently exaggerated complaints about products or services.

Etymology: Blend of 'infer' (to hint; imply; suggest)and 'intimidate' (to make timid; fill with fear)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaws-tuh-mer

Sentence: Jerry is perfect for the complaint department. He can tolerate the worst caustomer because he really believes that his opinion is the only one that counts.

Etymology: caustic (severely critical or sarcastic) + customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer)

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: trans-fer-re-turn-ence

Sentence: A good CSR knows when an irate customer is making a transfereturnence. When a man complains about a kitchen gadget it means that he had a fight with his wife. When an irate woman argues with him about a sweater it's often because her mother made a nasty comment about it. But when someone returns Postits because they're the wrong color it often reveals some serious potty training issues.

Etymology: transference:in psychoanalysis - the process whereby emotions such as rage or hatred are unconsciously shifted from one person or object to another + return: to bring back to the original place of purchase; coming back to a place or situation

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tantrəmänstərs

Sentence: Reggie knew his day was shot when he saw them coming through the door. The tantrumonsters had arrived. The bus from the assisted-living home must have jettisoned its cargo. These three seemed to have nothing better to do than complain over minutia. He calls them T-Vex, Rageasaur and Triscarytops. This time he was ready for them. He threw up a bogo (buy one, get one) banner to momentarily distract them and made a dash for the stock room. It didn't take long for them to get bored and move onto another store and another customer service rep to gnaw on.

Etymology: Tantrum (an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in young child) + Monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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COMMENTS:

Nice blend. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:50:00

Nice story....those dinosars put the "Sore" in Thesaurus! - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:46:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne styne

Sentence: Mrs. Gorgonzola was a real Whinestein. You know the type of customer we mean...one who complained about everything, was a retail snob and showed off her ignorance at the same time. Every week she entered the Gourmet Cheese Shoppe in the Mall called Cheese Louise. And every week she berated the owner, Louise, with her usual rants: "These Emmenthalers were no Gouda...I could barely Edam!"; "It's a Feta Accompli that this Roquefort will be Stilton my Children's Gruyereth!"; "Why is this Fontina the Mozza expensive cheese in the Store?"; "I simply Camembert to try the Chevre...it makes me Cheddar to think what's in it!" "Must they alwheys make Swiss Cheese with holes in it...what poor workmanship!";"My daughter, Velveeta, Brie-ds American Cheese Dogs and is Whey beyond her years!" and "Why does it always smell like milk gone bad in this Shoppe...couldn't you come up with a grater scent?" Louise would smile and nod and take her money, thinking to herself, I hate her, but I'm Fondue, my little greenbacks. Yes, Louise thought it appropriate to have a little Whine with her Cheese!

Etymology: Whine (to moan and complain in a plaintive manner) & Stein (a mug) & Einstein (a genius,someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality)

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COMMENTS:

You're examples are the best...a little cheesy, perhaps, but I've found none butter! - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

I meant your, not you're. - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

What a grate story. Lets Rock n Rocqefort!! - rombus, 2008-11-13: 12:53:00

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:49:00

Nothing like a fromage a trois! Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-11-14: 23:54:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: payn tron

Sentence: Most customers are nice. They are happy you help them, grateful when you go out of your way to serve them. They are true patrons, they pay your wages. Then there is the paintron, he makes you earn your wages and then some. Although he is only one in a hundred, he makes noise and aggravation enough for the other ninety-nine. You may not remember all the nice ones, but you can never forget the bad ones. Thank goodness they are in the minority!

Etymology: Pain (emotional distress; a fundamental feeling that people try to avoid;a bothersome annoying person)& Patron (client, customer)

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: TYE-ran-UH-suhr-VIS-veks

Sentence: Bob, at first, an irebuyer, quickly became an tyranuservicevex, scowling at the brow, when his local cheesemaker decided to decrease the size of the holes in the emmentaler.

Etymology: Blend of TYRANUS; SERVICE & VEX. Loosely based on Tyranusaurus Rex. This creature is probably the most famous and most fearsome predator of all times (Cretaceous, 85-65 million years ago), its name meaning 'terrible king lizard'. VEX: To make angry or annoyed by little provocations; to irritate; to plague; to torment; to harass; to afflict; to trouble;

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COMMENTS:

wonderfully wacky - love it - Jabberwocky, 2008-11-13: 14:47:00

Very clever! - Mustang, 2008-11-13: 22:36:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər

Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyn ex pert

Sentence: John came into the venders every week, bought 2 bottles of the chaepest plonk he could find and then complained about them next week. He was quite the whinexpert and grew so annoying, the finally barred him from the shop.

Etymology: Whine (complain in annoying manner) & Wordplay on Wine Expert (oenophile;connoisseur)

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