Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaws-tuh-mer

Sentence: Jerry is perfect for the complaint department. He can tolerate the worst caustomer because he really believes that his opinion is the only one that counts.

Etymology: caustic (severely critical or sarcastic) + customer (a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer)

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Created by: Redrover

Pronunciation: fool-uh-bluster

Sentence: Mark's earbuds are so small that his customers aren't even aware that he can't hear a single word of their foolablustering.

Etymology: fool= a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense bluster = noisy, empty threats or protests

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmänstər

Sentence: Oh no, here he comes Jody said to herself. Her customonster liked to come in at least once a week to make himself feel powerful by chewing on her for a while. He would go out of his way to find an item with some sort of scratch or blemish. Then he would demand a discount. She finally turned the tables on him when she caught him scratching a piece of her merchandise. She scolded him like he was a naughty puppy. She never saw him again.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + monster (an imaginary creature that is typically large, ugly, and frightening)

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: stor - mon - grrr

Sentence: Nathan was full of hostility and he took it out on everyone, especially service people. One of his favorite pastimes was venting his unhappiness and frustrations on unsuspecting customer service representatives. It was a fertile field filled with an endless supply of targets and he stealthily stalked his prey, victimizing unsuspecting clerks who were only trying to help him. On a good weekend, he might hit 35 stores, leaving a wide swath of storemonger victims. It was a verbal carnage!

Etymology: Store (A place where merchandise is offered for sale; a shop). + Monger (A person promoting something undesirable or discreditable. Often used in combination: a scandalmonger; a warmonger).

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COMMENTS:

Love the monger combination -esp. the obscure ones such as : Lovemonger, fashionmonger, pardonmonger, statemonger, insect-monger, miracle-monger, massmonger, boroughmonger, wordmonger, questmonger, phrasemonger, jobmonger, loanmonger, conspiracy-monger, legacy-monger, dietmonger, technomonger, scammonger etc,. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:23:00

So a Viagra pitchman is a longermonger?? - Nosila, 2008-11-13: 20:38:00

Just saw the word "joymonger" on the UK cable channel. Perhaps, a viagra pitchman is a longerjoymonger ?? - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-14: 06:45:00

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Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: lou-zer-air-er

Sentence: It never occurred to Melody that her computer problems might not actually be the fault of the poor guy at tech support who she berated daily. He tried, as politely as he could, to help her understand that her inability to turn on her computer was a losererror and not a hardware malfunction. Only after she accidentally stepped on the powerstrip and turned it back on did she stop calling the hapless support team.

Etymology: user error transformed into loser error.

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Created by: logarithm

Pronunciation: kursstəmər

Sentence:

Etymology: From 'customer' - a person or company that buys goods or services; and 'curse' or 'cuss' - to utter obscenities or profanities.

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COMMENTS:

Or, better still, 'cusstomer', where the 'cuss' is pronounced with extra hissing sound. - logarithm, 2008-11-17: 05:53:00

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: creep/zoom/er

Sentence: The worst job at Sears is the product return desk which attracts one creepsumer after another.

Etymology: CREEPSUMER noun - from CREEP (an annoyingly unpleasant, or repulsive person) + CONSUMER (one that acquires goods, or services for direct use )

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COMMENTS:

Good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:51:00

Excellent - Mustang, 2008-11-13: 22:36:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: whyne styne

Sentence: Mrs. Gorgonzola was a real Whinestein. You know the type of customer we mean...one who complained about everything, was a retail snob and showed off her ignorance at the same time. Every week she entered the Gourmet Cheese Shoppe in the Mall called Cheese Louise. And every week she berated the owner, Louise, with her usual rants: "These Emmenthalers were no Gouda...I could barely Edam!"; "It's a Feta Accompli that this Roquefort will be Stilton my Children's Gruyereth!"; "Why is this Fontina the Mozza expensive cheese in the Store?"; "I simply Camembert to try the Chevre...it makes me Cheddar to think what's in it!" "Must they alwheys make Swiss Cheese with holes in it...what poor workmanship!";"My daughter, Velveeta, Brie-ds American Cheese Dogs and is Whey beyond her years!" and "Why does it always smell like milk gone bad in this Shoppe...couldn't you come up with a grater scent?" Louise would smile and nod and take her money, thinking to herself, I hate her, but I'm Fondue, my little greenbacks. Yes, Louise thought it appropriate to have a little Whine with her Cheese!

Etymology: Whine (to moan and complain in a plaintive manner) & Stein (a mug) & Einstein (a genius,someone who has exceptional intellectual ability and originality)

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COMMENTS:

You're examples are the best...a little cheesy, perhaps, but I've found none butter! - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

I meant your, not you're. - Nuwanda, 2008-11-13: 11:54:00

What a grate story. Lets Rock n Rocqefort!! - rombus, 2008-11-13: 12:53:00

Very clever - OZZIEBOB, 2008-11-13: 16:49:00

Nothing like a fromage a trois! Cheers! - Nosila, 2008-11-14: 23:54:00

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Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: ahy-ur-BAHY-uhr

Sentence: Bob quickly became an irebuyer, scowling at the brow, when his local cheesemaker decided to decrease the size of the holes in the emmentaler.

Etymology: Conflation of IRE:anger, wrath, rage, & BUYER:purchaser, vendee, client

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COMMENTS:

Rhyming creations always ring my bell. Nice one! - silveryaspen, 2008-01-16: 08:06:00

His argument definately had some holes in it. No holes in your word though! - bananabender, 2008-01-17: 02:27:00

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Created by: Maxine

Pronunciation: graw bul

Sentence: Every time he was displeased with a purchase, Mike would grobble about his difficult life.

Etymology: grob, n., a petty complaint issued by whiny lips and registered by those who don't know better.

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