Verboticism: Clockstalk

'Don't tell me your trying to sneak out early?'

DEFINITION: n. A type of frustration created by a manager who never notices when you work late, but always nags you for leaving early whenever you leave on time. v. To carefully monitor your subordinates to ensure that they never leave work a minute early.

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Clockstalk

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Timebeing

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: tīmbēing

Sentence: Tom works for the timebeing. That timebeing is his boss. It doesn't seem to matter how much he gets done or that he arrives early and skips lunch, closing time is closing time. Tom and his boss do a mental minute waltz as 5 o'clock approaches. The fact that the boss's office is aligned with the hallway Tom uses for his escape makes him seem something like a troll guarding a bridge.

Etymology: time (the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future) + being (a real or imaginary living creature)

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COMMENTS:

very cerebral - bookowl, 2009-06-16: 16:46:00

mrskellyscl creepy - mrskellyscl, 2009-06-16: 16:55:00

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Hourgrass

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: our/grass

Sentence: Stan was the company hourgrass and would tattle on anyone who took a minute longer for coffee breaks or lunch. He had a special alarm that would sound if the door was opened before 5:00 p.m.

Etymology: hour glass + grass (as in tattle)

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COMMENTS:

Stan sounds like a grasshole! - Nosila, 2009-06-16: 10:48:00

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Bostard

Created by: wordmeister

Pronunciation: bos tard

Sentence: He was a real bostard and would sit by the door watching the clock just in case some one tried to sneak out before 5:00pm

Etymology: boss + tard

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Stimie

karenanne

Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: STY mee

Sentence: Early on in his new job, Ernest made the mistake of working late every day to catch up and to prove himself, thinking that would place him in the boss's good favor. Instead, it means that the boss, who himself doesn't usually hit the office until 10 am, has now forgotten Ernest's actual contract hours and assumes he will always be there until 7 pm. So now when Ernest decides to leave on time (5 pm) to actually spend time with his family, he is stimied at every turn by the boss's obvious disapproval. The boss likes to do such things as staring pointedly at his watch, sighing loudly and saying, "I guess I'll have to stay and finish things by myself tonight since there won't be anyone here to help," and making comments about how "people who are team players will the ones to keep their jobs when cuts are made." The funny thing is, Ernest has actually begun to feel guilty and acts apologetic as he is leaving (on time).

Etymology: time + stymie (to frustrate, hinder, or thwart)

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COMMENTS:

Truer words never spoken... - Nosila, 2010-06-29: 19:25:00

karenanne My first thought was "clocksucker" but then I figured I had already put in my share of vulgarity a couple of months ago with "dicktionary," "motherducker," and "bitchnessperson." - karenanne, 2010-06-29: 19:40:00

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Obeywatch

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o bay weatch

Sentence: Mr.Smedley fancied himself a dedicated disciple of the obeywatch old school of management. He decided that those employees who had the misfortune to report to him were not to be trusted with important things like personal time management. Far too often they let their personal lives get in the way of being at work. Imagine calling in sick and failing to come in just because you broke a leg or had minor surgery, like an appendicitis. Where was the loyalty these days? So what if there were days they worked for 12 hours straight and other days when the work flow slowed down? He still expected them to be there 9 to 5, without exception. He positioned his desk near the time clocks, so no one could sneak out past him. He recorded all these indiscretions in a black book. Needless to say, morale was at an all time low and fuses were getting shorter at such treatment. One of these days, someone would go postal and punch out his time clock permanently!

Etymology: obey (be obedient to) & watch (a purposeful surveillance to guard or observe;a small portable timepiece;a person employed to watch for something to happen) & Baywatch(you know,that show, where Hoff says, "Hey we gotta save that guy!" and Pamela goes boing, boing, boing running down the beach after him carrying that red thing...)

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COMMENTS:

petaj That's hard to beat - petaj, 2008-04-23: 02:50:00

I guess the "mean" in 'GMT' meant everything to him! Very clever. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 06:25:00

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Minutger

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: min - ut - jer

Sentence: Clyde was a brutal minutger. No matter how many hours his employees worked, he monitored every minute that they spent going to the bathroom, eating lunch, or talking to customers. He wanted to make sure that not a minute was ever wasted

Etymology: minute, manager

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Slackervise

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: slak'-ər-vīz'

Sentence: Fred's secretary Ethel had arrived seventy-seven seconds past her forty-minute allotted lunch period, so Fred made sure to slackervise even more diligently than usual to insure she made up the time at actual work before leaving for the evening; at her claimed typing speed of 110 wpm, that should work out to an extra 141.16667 words for the day.

Etymology: 'slacker,' less taut; 'vise,' device for holding objects firmly in place.

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COMMENTS:

Nice word! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-04-23: 17:50:00

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Ticcompoop

Created by: jrogan

Pronunciation: tik-com-poop

Sentence: My boss is a real ticcompoop. He even has a ticcompooter to calculate how may seconds we spend in the washroom.

Etymology: tick + nimcompoop

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Timepeeper

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: time-peep-er

Sentence: Helen suspected that Tom, the manager, was a timpeeper when she saw him standing by the coffee machine watching every move she made and checking his watch to make sure her break wasn't too long. He was always at the door in the morning with a creepy look on his face watching her take off her coat and he was there in the evening when she put her coat back on to go home. He was seen peeping over the top of her cubicle to make sure she wasn't on Ebay instead of working and wasting company time. One day, however, he went too far and followed her to the ladies room to see that she didn't take too long. He was caught on a surveilance video and her attorney had no problem filing a harassment suit.

Etymology: play on timekeeper -- peeper: voyeur (Peeping Tom)

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COMMENTS:

The peep became a purp! Good word. - Nosila, 2009-06-16: 10:45:00

Excellent - Mustang, 2009-06-17: 00:45:00

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Streptoclockus

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: streptəkläkəs

Sentence: As a new manager Tom has a bad case of streptoclockus. He watches every minute of his new subordinates workdays as if each second was being pulled from his soul.

Etymology: streptococcus (a bacterium of a genus that includes the agents of souring of milk and dental decay, and hemolytic pathogens causing various infections such as scarlet fever and pneumonia) + clock (a mechanical or electrical device for measuring time)

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