Verboticism: Realityache

'Help! Get this thing off of me! '

DEFINITION: v. To return to the gym in order to get back in shape, only to over-do-it and injure yourself. n. An injury which is the result of an overly ambitious exercise program.

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Realityache

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Inexertia

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

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COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

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Arobegoknackerism

Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Arobe-Ego-nakker-ism

Sentence: At the age of "he should have known better", Richard's desperate desire to recapture his (self-deluded and fictional) youth and prowess, led him to the foolish act of joining the local gym. Once there, the sight of all the highly flexible and youthful "Gumby" girls and the muscular posturing of the male "Hunk" brigade led him to the disasterous effort of trying to compete with those a generation his Junior. The next day in the intensive care wing of the local hospital, his medical chart was filled in by the docter with the phrase "Suffered from an acute case of Arobegoknackerism during an overenergetic kneebend"

Etymology: Arobe- Arobic- (Self-inflicted pain) / Ego (Delusional self opinion) / Knacker (to bring something or oneself to the point of destruction or injury)

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Excersciatica

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: eksərsīatikə

Sentence: Joyce is not one to do things halfway. If there is something to do, she will do it twice or twice as hard. She loves her exercise classes, but often ends up injuring herself with her exuberance. Her knees, legs, neck, elbows or back take the brunt of Taebo, Pilates and Jazzercise. Her latest fixation, EuroBlastTraining (don't ask). Her latest ailment? Excersciatica!

Etymology: exercise (activity requiring physical effort, carried out esp. to sustain or improve health and fitness) + sciatica (pain affecting the back, hip, and outer side of the leg)

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl Great word. - mrskellyscl, 2009-06-18: 06:39:00

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Gymnausium

Created by: TJayzz

Pronunciation: Jim-nor-zee-um

Sentence: 'Thats it, I've had enough of this fitness lark' said Tom, as he hobbled over to the nearest bench to rest his swollen ankle. 'From now on Im calling this place the gymnausium, cos it makes me sick!!'

Etymology: Gymnasium(A place to get fit and play sport.) + Nausea(To feel sick) =Gymnausim

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Realityache

Created by: pieceof314

Pronunciation: ree-al-ittee-ayk

Sentence: Realityache. Newsome knew it all too well. Who was he kidding? What did he think was going to happen when he finally decided to get off his butt and start working out? Moderation? Nah. With full tilt workouts from the start and after a life of increasing sedentary circumstances, Newsome knew what realityache meant with each excrutiating movement of muscle in his body.

Etymology: reality + ache

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Pwgymned

Created by: Ismelstar

Pronunciation: [pind] or [pwind]

Sentence: Determined to defeat his winter love handles, Mark finally returned to the gym only to be pwgymned by the chest press machine for five minutes, like a gnat under a toothpick, while he waited for a trainer to rescue him.

Etymology: A combination of 'gym', a building or room designed and equipped for indoor exercise, and 'pwned', a corruption of the word 'owned' denoting domination by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force. The combination sounds like 'pinned', meaning to hold something fast in a spot or position.

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Musculartorture

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: mus/cah/la/tore/chur

Sentence: Musculatorture occurs when the muscles are strained beyond endurance which often happens trying to open the heavy gym doors.

Etymology: musculature + torture

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Gymaimium

Created by: stache

Pronunciation: jĭm-mām'ē-əm

Sentence: He figued it was just a HALF-marathon, surely it would be no big deal. After all, before he'd laid off running-what was it, three and a nalf years now?-he'd had quite a few fun runs and even that one ten-K under his belt. Predictably, however, the event resulted in extensive gymaimium, from severe shin splints to bleeding, chafed nipples.

Etymology: Gym, var. of Jim, after workout guru Jum Belushi; maimi, var. of Mamie, after famous Jack LaLane mistress, Mamie Eisenhower; um, speech filler related to 'uh.'

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COMMENTS:

Galway's workouch goes well with your gymaimium. - Jabberwocky, 2008-05-06: 12:32:00

good word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:44:00

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Callistrainics

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

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Pathleticism

Created by: OZZIEBOB

Pronunciation: PATH-let-uh-siz-uhm

Sentence: Bob, whose only regular exercise previously was a walk to and from the car, seem certain to be heading for a fitprang, if he didn't immediately cease his obsessive, new found pathleticism.

Etymology: Blend of PATHETIC: (colloquially) pitiful, hopelessly inept or inappropriate; so stupid as to be ridiculous; PATH: element in many medical words meaning illness, injury disease of the body etc., & ATHLETICISM: characterized by, or involving physical activity or exercise & ISM: fad, esp of extravagant nature.

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COMMENTS:

petaj nice one and fitprang made me LOL - petaj, 2008-05-06: 06:37:00

didsbury Nice one OB! - didsbury, 2008-05-06: 16:27:00

Fantastic entry! - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 22:02:00

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