Verboticism: Phlegmzard

'Oh-oh, I'm surrounded '

DEFINITION: n. A pile of used and discarded tissues; may constitute a bio-hazard. v. To drop a used tissue on to the floor beside your bed or chair, because you are so sick you can barely move.

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Phlegmzard

kashman

Created by: kashman

Pronunciation: Flem-zard

Sentence: Fighting with cold left George so numb that he became indifferent to the phlegmzard created in the living room of his shared apartment; this apparent "coldness" resulted in exodus of his roomate to less hazardous environment.

Etymology: Phlegm (viscid mucus secreted while suffering from cold) + Hazard (source of danger).

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Masturgration

Created by: idavecook

Pronunciation: MASS-TER-GRAY-SHUN

Sentence: Steve was so sick he couldn't believe the enormity of the masturgration that had occurred when he came to.

Etymology: Those dirty little tissues that seem pile up when you're feeling really sick.

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Tisspew

Created by: zabxuq

Pronunciation: tiss-sp_u

Sentence: The flu was simply too much. Fixing his own lunch was out of the question. With barely enough energy to tisspew, Gil could do nothing but wait for chicken soup reinforcements to arrive under their own power.

Etymology: Tisspew: v. combination of tissue: a thin gauzy paper + spew: eject or cast away.

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COMMENTS:

Souper! - Nosila, 2009-01-02: 18:06:00

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Phlegmbuoyancy

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: flem boy ansee

Sentence: Even when deathly ill, Marcus exuded a certain phlegmbuoyancy. Although he felt he was on death's doorknob, he wore his silk pyjamas and monogrammed silk robe, along with his designer slippers. He used not paper hankies or toilet paper to remove his mucus, but a supply of monogrammed silk handkerchiefs, which his butler gathered up to send to the CDC in Atlanta. Marcus reclined on his chaiselongue, under a mink throw and suffered through this ague. With a full table of aspirin, cough syrups and decongestants, everything that modern medicine could afford was laid out at his bedside. His butler brought him hot toddies in gold or silver goblets and had steamy moisture piped into his sick room. He winced when his doctor had told him he had the Common Cold...how could that happen to one of such superior breeding? Beside his bed lay one of the classic books he currently read, called Great Expectorations, printed in its original Phlegmish language!

Etymology: Phlegm (nasal mucus) & Buoyancy (cheerfulness that bubbles to the surface;irrepressible liveliness and good spirit;the property of something weightless and insubstantial) Flamboyancy (richly and brilliantly colorful;elaborately or excessively ornamented)

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COMMENTS:

Eleveating the common cold to the royal pain it truly is! The grandiose elevated to the grandinose! - silveryaspen, 2009-01-02: 07:43:00

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Snotzone

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: snot-zone

Sentence: Seeing Bob lying there with a cesspool of snot rags beside him, Sue knew what she had to do. She quickly donned her self-contained breathing apparatus and fully encapsulated Level A suit, entered the snotzone, and began to gingerly pluck the mucousy mess from the floor.

Etymology: hot zone (in HAZMAT response, the area of contamination), snot

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle hee hee - you beat me to it! - libertybelle, 2008-03-10: 09:30:00

gross, but funny - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:26:00

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Encompasnot

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: en-kuhm-puh-snot

Sentence: After he removed the encompasnot from the entire floor of his bedroom, he hesitated to dispose of it in the composter, perhaps it would contaminate the earth? Maybe grow into a big mucus tree of snot?

Etymology: encompass + snot

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Kleenexsport

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kleen ex sport

Sentence: Lying in his sickbed, watching the Olympic Sports Channel all day, Ernie knew that he could win a gold medal for his country in the pathogen pentathlon: his nose runs, his eyes soar, his lip curls, his fever pitches and his body heats. He could do a slalom down the mountain of kleenexsport by the side of his bed. He would have to do a viral spiral to get to the bathroom before he had to luge again. Yes, his biohazard biathalon would end if he could only get some schuss time. His ailing body was truly an international competition: He put the "Germ" in Germany; the "chill" in Chile;the "I Ran" in Iran; the "Catarrh" in Qatar;and he had been feeling "Laos-y" all day!

Etymology: kleenex (a piece of soft absorbent paper usually two or more thin layers used as a disposable handkerchief) & export ( to transfer goods or to cause to spread) & sport (an active diversion requiring physical exertion and competition)

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COMMENTS:

petaj His Doctor gave him vitamin C and said get it India. He also put the malaise in Malaysia and the 'ails' in Wales. - petaj, 2008-03-10: 10:03:00

great sentence - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 13:27:00

Great read and word! Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-10: 23:03:00

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Viralysis

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: vi-RAL-a-sis

Sentence: Although Kevin was in danger of asphyxiation by tissue, his viralysis was total and he could do nothing more than drop another tissue onto the sodden snotscape.

Etymology: viral + paralysis

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COMMENTS:

kashman Brilliant...quite "snoty" analysis of the "paralysis" :) - kashman, 2008-03-10: 13:00:00

this word really grows on you - Jabberwocky, 2008-03-10: 16:57:00

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Tissueissue

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: TISS-yew-iss-yew

Sentence: Lyndon was feeling rotten all over from the bug he was fighting and though he realized he had a potentially dangerous tissuissue with the growing pile of infectious kleenex he felt too lousy to make the necessary effort to deal with it.

Etymology: Blend of tissue and issue

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Inphlegmatory

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in flem a tor ee

Sentence: The Fire Marshall was certain to declare that the bedroom floor of Sal Iver's house was definitely an inphlegmatory risk. Sal had been sick with the flu for 2 days and had neither the skill nor the will to put all his used tissues in a receptacle. His bedroom was the site of much hankie pankie and the normally phlegmboyant Sal was reduced to that of a bronchialbuster who had not lasted long enough to win the big purse. The irony was that 2 days ago, he had planned to phone in sick to play hookey from work. He figured the word Gesundheit meant "serves you right". All this while his catarrh gently weeps...sniff, sniff!

Etymology: Inflammatory (characterized or caused by inflammation;unhealthy, detrimental to health) & Phlegm (Mucous,expectorated matter;saliva mixed with discharges from the respiratory passages)

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COMMENTS:

Ack !! I wanted to use "phlegm" for this one. Let's see... there are three more body fluids, right? I mean, phlegm, blood, something and something else... Gosh this is going to be difficult. - XMbIPb, 2010-05-19: 02:48:00

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