Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: imôrtawēd

Sentence: Randy is a fanatic about his lawn. He is constantly on guard against any encroachment by anything other than his beloved bluegrass. He has been known to vacuum his grass to remove possible stray seeds that might have blown into his yard. That is what has him so upset about the the appearance of an a dandelion in the middle of his yard. He sprang into action, first trying to dig it out. It came back. He then tried herbicide. It thrived. This pest is proving to be an immortaweed even exhibiting herbal resurrection. Randy is weighing the use of dynamite.

Etymology: immortal (living forever; never dying or decaying) + weed (a wild plant growing where it is not wanted and in competition with cultivated plants)

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: sh wart zen egg plahnt

Sentence: no matter how many times you take the shears/fork/flamethrower to a schwarzenneggplant, you know it'll be back!

Etymology: schwarzennegger, eggplant

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COMMENTS:

I'll be bok choy. - mrskellyscl, 2009-04-20: 09:58:00

and I'll be brock... - splendiction, 2009-04-20: 21:30:00

(broccoli) - splendiction, 2009-04-20: 21:34:00

Hosta la vista, baby! - Nosila, 2009-04-20: 22:11:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: SAS kwosh

Sentence: Cala had spent many weeks the previous year getting rid of all the different kinds of squash that had grown in her garden. She had made pickles, disguised it in zucchini bread, roasted pumpkin seeds, and cut 20 jack-o-lanterns. She had even simply put some of it in bags which she then dropped off on random doorsteps on her way to work, knowing that her own neighbors would recognize her handiwork. And now it had all returned full force in a spectacularly scary regrowth, with even bigger plants than last year, like Sasquash. Calabashed her head against the wall with the frustration. "Oh my gourd!" she now cried. "It's just not cutecumber any more. It's spaghetting worse every year!" Butternutty ways will have her replanting next summer.

Etymology: Sasquatch + squash

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COMMENTS:

Love it! Your puns are like mine...not for the marrow-minded! - Nosila, 2010-11-02: 22:21:00

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: zämbēnstôk

Sentence: Zack planted some beans that he was told were magic. Little did he know how true that was. Once planted they could not be stopped. After harvesting a few nasty tasting beans he decided to plant tomatoes so he turned over the soil and put in a few nice plants. The next day he found the uprooted ”mater” plants plastered against the shed as if flung by some unseen hand and the zombeanstalk standing in their place. Thus began a summer of battle to reclaim the garden. Pesticides, herbicides, even hoes and machetes were no match for this evil thing. Every assault just seemed to make it stronger. The onset of Winter finally brought Zack the relief he sought. He is now desperately trying to sell his house so that he can be gone by the Spring thaw.

Etymology: zombie (a soulless corpse said to be revived by witchcraft) + beanstalk (the stem of a bean plant, proverbially fast growing and tall)

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COMMENTS:

love it! - galwaywegian, 2010-11-02: 16:06:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: boo-ma-rag-weed

Sentence: Boomeragweeds had taken over the lawn despite every effort to eradiate them. The gardener had developed a very impressive physique from hacking at them with a hoe everytime they returned, but he had also contracted a strange cough from exposure to the cocktail of chemicals that had been sprayed in the preceding months.

Etymology: boomerang (keeps coming back when you throw one with practice) + ragweed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragweed )

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COMMENTS:

LOL. I quite like that I had a typo. Was supposed to be eradicate. But trying to nuke the weeks is another option. - petaj, 2009-04-20: 06:23:00

typos, weeks should be weeds - petaj, 2009-04-20: 06:23:00

Your booming great create strikes the right weedy chords here! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-20: 17:39:00

Boomeragweed...they always come back! - Nosila, 2009-04-20: 22:24:00

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Created by: splendiction

Pronunciation: rhymes with milkweed

Sentence: Henry knew the weedwacker definitely wasn't the answer to their recurring weeds. He wondered which herbicide he would next try. Maybe he'd just dig out the whole garden and start again? Hmmm. Those bilkweeds!

Etymology: From BILK, to frustrate and MILKWEED. Bilkweeds cause constant frustration because they manage to resist removal.

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Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: vej eh mew ta shun

Sentence: Oh no, Genevieve screamed!! She felt that the nightmare had continued as she looked out the window and saw the vegemutation that had spawned overnight. The weeds and vegetation she had sprayed, dug out, pulled or otherwise attempted to eradicate had seemingly turned into larger, denser and more omininous revisions of themselves....

Etymology: vegetation (all the plant life in a particular region or period,the process of growth in plants)+ mutation ((change to adadpt to new conditions;a sudden variation (the offspring differing from its parents in some well-marked character or characters) as distinguished from a gradual variation in which the new characters become fully developed only in the course of many generations))

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COMMENTS:

Terrorific! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-20: 10:02:00

It's like Revenge of the Trifids! - Nosila, 2009-04-20: 22:15:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: der en neeyal

Sentence: Michelle had always known that dandelions were darennials. They dared to grow everywhere and they did. No amount of herbicide or digging got rid of them totally. They grew in cracks in the concrete, in the grass and garden and anywhere else they wanted. These darennials, caused her dispairennials and were unfairennials. Michelle swore that if she actually planted them they were rebelennial enough not to grow where you wanted them. Obstinate and defiant, Michelle thought of them as swearennials. Well, if you can't beat them, join them. Michelle decided to harvest their leaves for salads, their roots for herbal laxatives and their flowers for wine and edible salads. Of course, wouldn't you know it...the year Michelle counted on the bumper crop to start her health food empire, nary a yellow bloom appeared. Somehow they had gotten wind they would be put to work and they disappeared...sounds like Michelle's brother, Michael, the King of the Benefits, the Dole-y Lama!

Etymology: Dare ( a challenge to do something dangerous or foolhardy) & Perennial (A plant lastin g 3 seasons or more and recurring again & again).

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COMMENTS:

Your creative mind blooms like an OH-PUN lotus blossom. - metrohumanx, 2009-04-20: 01:41:00

Excellennial! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-20: 09:53:00

Thanks, metro...it'd due to an abundance of fertilizer! - Nosila, 2009-04-25: 22:09:00

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: ee-RAD-ehck-aynt

Sentence: Over the course of the growing season Livonia had tried all kinds of chemicals, digging, chopping, lawn mower, and with her latest effort of pouring charcoal starter fluid and lighting it, she was distressed to find that this too was one more eradicaint when she saw the plant flourishing a couple days later.

Etymology: Blend of 'eradicate' (eliminate, dispose of, wipe out) and 'aint' (is not)

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: dam-de-lye-on

Sentence: Trevor spent the better part of the day treating the golf course for various weeks. All was going well until he reached the green at the 15th hole. He tried everything in his arsenal to kill the bright yellow flowers only to come back to find them standing as tall as ever. Finally, he decided to put on his gloves and yank the weed out by its roots. The joke was on him though - the next morning he found that the damndelion had fought back and brought an army of yellow crusaders to invade the green. Trevor looked upon the field of yellow and exclaimed "Damndelions!!".

Etymology: Damn + dandelion

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COMMENTS:

beauty! - galwaywegian, 2009-04-20: 11:26:00

Damn Excellent! - silveryaspen, 2009-04-20: 17:40:00

YELLOW CRUSADERS! Great imagery. - metrohumanx, 2009-04-20: 20:16:00

If I said I din't like it, I'd be delion! - Nosila, 2009-04-20: 22:12:00

Wish I'd thought of it! Great word! - artr, 2009-04-21: 05:06:00

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