Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: megətoōl

Sentence: Gene believes in the megatool approach to life. If a task requires the use of a tool bigger is always better. He has a military surplus flame thrower that he uses to start his charcoal grill. You have a rusty bolt? If his jaws-of-life can't loosen it, they can lop it off so you can replace it. His wife drew the line when he started talking about a pneumatic hammer fly swatter. She has 911 on speed-dial.

Etymology: mega (very large; huge) + tool (a device or implement, esp. one held in the hand, used to carry out a particular function)

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COMMENTS:

Perhaps Gene is a megatool for Black & Decker. - otherguy, 2009-03-09: 06:43:00

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Created by: Wampeter

Pronunciation: He-ter-o-tool-io

Sentence: "I cannot find the corkscrew. Watch out for thís screw instead, its my Heterotoolio!"

Etymology: Hetero: lat. different io: onomatopoesia

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp le ment

Sentence: Janice had finally hit on the next great thing. She modified her belt sander to plane off the zits and blackheads on her T-Zone. She called it a pimplement. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but was never picked up by any of those companies who mass market new inventions. It seems their doctors and lawyers took exception to removing a layer of dermis in a painful manner with a rusty tool from the garage. Go figure!

Etymology: Pimple (zit;acne) & Implement (tool,instrument)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: oh-ver-skil-saw

Sentence: Susan is not one to shy away from a challenge. Her father always told her, "if something doesn't work don't force it, get a bigger hammer". With that in mind Susan goes after her "need-to-be-trimmed" nails with her overskilsaw.

Etymology: overkill (an excess of what is required or suitable, as because of zeal or misjudgment) + Skilsaw (popular brand of circular saw)

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: lim ple ment

Sentence: Eileen was attemting to use her recycled saw to trim her nose hairs. Unfortunately, it slipped and severed her leg, making it a limplement. She now spells her name I-Lean...

Etymology: Limb (arm or leg or tree branch) & Implement (tool, device, instrument)

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COMMENTS:

Are you sure her name wasn't Noeleen? - galwaywegian, 2013-07-04: 07:29:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ad ap ded lee

Sentence: Her array of adapdeadly tools included the cheesecuttercontraceptivewire, which took all risk of pregnancy and enjoyment out of the proceedings

Etymology: adapted, deadly

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: ee lek tro CYU til ize

Sentence: Stumpy likes to electrocutilize power tools for more mundane purposes. Last year, he electrocutilized his belt sander to polish his shoes - while he was still wearing them. That's why his nickname is Stumpy.

Etymology: electrocute + utilize

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: gad jet lag

Sentence: Ever since Wilbur & Orville had sent air travel to the next plane, A.Fred O'Travel worked night and day to find something to help passengers get over the fear of flying. More specifically, he found passengers were not as much afraid of flying and as afraid of getting the dreaded jet lag, which could immobilize them upon disembarkment. So Fred made a device which helped passengers to calm down and not shout out as embarrassing statements as "They are going in the wrong direction" and turn them into positive statements, like, "We don't care where the pilots land, as long as it is on Earth!" Not only did this tool (which was placed in each passenger's drink, act as an anti-gadgetlag, it made the passengers remember a happy, ethereal experience, which made them want to book again and again with NirvanAir.

Etymology: gadget (a device that is very useful for a particular job) & Jet Lag(fatigue and sleep disturbance resulting from disruption of the body's normal circadian rhythm as a result of jet travel)

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COMMENTS:

Egad! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 14:57:00

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Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dizz-ASS-turr-ISK

Sentence: Hacko's imported car had broken down on the Antelope Freeway, and as his deceased vehicle shuddered with the passing of each tractor trailer, he rummaged through the "hell box" of assorted utensils which took the place of a proper tool kit. Hacko was mechanically compromised, but he decided to DISASTERISK an amateur repair. Fortunately, he was not alone in his peril. Hacko's girlfriend and co-pilot/navigator was there with words of encouragement and derision to hasten his efforts at improvised repair. She handed him the HAZMOFLANGE, the WOUNDEVICE, the TRYTOFORCEITON, the NONFUNCTOROD, the BASSAKWARTOOL, the GIZMAYHURTCHA, the MISGUIDEPRESSOR, the MAYDAMAGEALLDEBAR and the chrome-plated MUTENSIL. After severing a tendon and skinning his knuckles, Hacko discovered that a DISASTERISK * was the tool most unsuited to to this particular problem. After sever bursting lacerations, he improperly used the DISASTERISK to hammer the engine into a steaming heap, demonstrated his version of "The Pain Dance" and stumbled down a hill onto a secondary road where he hailed a tow truck and ended his motorized nightmare...................................... * Nobody really knew what the DISASTERISK was, but some say it was purchased when Hacko fell under the hypnotic spell of a late-night infomercial and several bottles of fine Australian wine.

Etymology: DISaster+ASTErisk+RISK=DISASTERISK.....DISASTER: a sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction, a sudden or great misfortune or failure; Middle French & Old Italian; Middle French desastre, from Old Italian disastro, from dis- (from Latin) + astro star, from Latin astrum.....ASTERISK: the character * used in printing or writing as a reference to various arbitrary meanings; Middle English, astarisc, from Late Latin asteriscus, from Greek asteriskos, literally, little star, diminutive of aster-, astēr.....RISK: someone or something that creates or suggests a hazard, possibility of loss or injury or peril; French risque, from Italian risco (1661).

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COMMENTS:

Always carry road flares, a roll of duct tape and a cool talisman when motoring. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 01:54:00

http://www.odd-tools.com/ - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:01:00

As the sun describes it's mighty arc over this hapless continent, I await eagerly the many creative wordisms about to appear... - metrohumanx, 2009-03-09: 03:16:00

I love 'MUTENSIL'. - Tigger, 2009-03-09: 11:03:00

Disasterisk...great word! - Nosila, 2009-03-09: 22:56:00

Excellent! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:54:00

Wonderful :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:04:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pimp lem ent

Sentence: Doris had the insane idea that if she cut down the size of her husband`s sander, it would be great for her erupting skin. It could make the surface smooth, slough off dead cells and stimulate the pores to prevent and eliminate acne. She called it her pimplement and after the first disastrous procedure, the paramedics advised her that her foolishness caused them to laugh their faces off, too.

Etymology: Pimple (acne, a zit) & Implement (equipment or tool used for a purpose)

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