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'Why can't you get it up?'

DEFINITION: n., A Christmas tree, ornament or caroler that, no matter how it is tied, tethered and tilted, refuses to stay upright. v., To be so full of Christmas cheer that you simply sparkle, twinkle and tip over.

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Tipsel

libertybelle

Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: tip-sell

Sentence: It seemed our 8 foot inflatable Santa Clause was full of tipsel, as he even managed to droop over despite the bungee cords wrapping him to the banister. No more egg nog and cookies for him!!

Etymology: tip + tinsel

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Needleviagra

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: nee dil vy ag ra

Sentence: When Dick brought the scraggly Christmas Tree home, he knew as soon as he brought it in the house that it was not as straight and bushy as it had looked in the tree lot. He also knew he'd never hear the end of it from his wife,Carol, who criticized him for bringing such a crooked tree home. "What kind of a conifer do you call that, Dick? It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa." "It's a new breed of fir called Needleviagra. One little blue pill in the water and it will soon be the lovely erect tree you wanted!"

Etymology: Needle (the "leaves" on a coniferous tree;to goad or prooke) & Viagra (Male virility drug)

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Listletoe

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: list ill to

Sentence: When Yul & Holly decorated their apartment for Christmas, they had trouble getting anything to hang up straight. They ended up calling one particular thing the listletoe because it meant you had to lean into your partner to get a better kiss. Hmm, maybe it was not such a bad idea...and maybe putting some Viagra in the tree water might spruce up their Christmas Tree!

Etymology: List (to lean to one side) & Mistletoe (Old World parasitic shrub having branching greenish stems with leathery leaves and waxy white glutinous berries; the traditional mistletoe of Christmas, which people have to kiss each other when under it)

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Christmasculated

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: kris/mas/kyuh/leyt/ed

Sentence: During our annual neigbourhood caroling, John's six eggnog and rum completely christmasculated him and it took two carolers to drag him around from house to house.

Etymology: Christmas + emasculated (to be deprived of strength, or vigor; to be weakened) To deprive of strength or vigor; weaken

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Ornapisa

Korinne

Created by: Korinne

Pronunciation: Orna-pee-sa

Sentence: Helen was frustrated because the normally upright tree ornaments now looked like ornapisas.

Etymology: Ornaments + Leaning Tower of Pisa

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Scrackerwhiff

Carla

Created by: Carla

Pronunciation: skrA-kuh-wif

Sentence: No matter how much Anne tried, she could not make the scrackerwhiff angel sit straight atop the tree. Eventually Anne gave up and turned to the sherry, in an attempt to get scrackerwhiffy herself.

Etymology: Cracker + Skew-whiff

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Orneryment

Created by: xirtam

Pronunciation: awr-nuh-ree-muh nt

Sentence: Sometimes you just don't want to deal with those orneryments. First you can't find the hooks, then the loop that the hooks attach to come out. Once you find the perfect spot, it's too heavy for the branch.

Etymology: Ornery: stubborn. + Ornament: an accessory, article, or detail used to beautify the appearance of something to which it is added or of which it is a part.

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Pissedmas

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: piss d niss

Sentence: he was on the pissedness diet. driink everything. Eat only solpadeine.

Etymology: christmas, pissed

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Yulean

Created by: dochanne

Pronunciation: Yule-een

Sentence: With merry songsters crouding tight, festive tinsel left and right, the christmas spirit shining bright, well lit by festive table-lights. Mulled wine and eggnog warm and sweet, keeps blood flowing to your feet, but if you much indulge, you'll bulge, and droop with festive meats and treats. You'll cant, careen, recline and lean. In festive repose, you'll be yulean.

Etymology: Yule - of the older Yuletide solstice celebration now encumbered with modern chrisisitudes. Lean - to share one's weight with an object or person, cant, careen or recline. Herculean - descriptive of the large amount of effort put into festoonery, jollity and family gatherings at christmas. Elan - impetuous ardour, like that demonstrated by over-eggnogged carollers and others similarly afflicted with Yulean droopishness.

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COMMENTS:

You live, Yulean :-) - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:51:00

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Pisaster

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: peez as ter

Sentence: Brad and Kate's first Christmas together as a married couple had been one misfortune after another. It apparently is better to remove the turkey innards before stuffing the bird. Who knew eggnog was made with raw eggs? Pet poodles should not eat fresh mistletoe. Plus Brad had picked out a spindly Christmas Tree which leaned and wobbled under the weight of its decorations. It was a Pisaster Pine, decorated with bows of folly, fa la la la la la, la la la la! It was unfirgiveable, needleless to say. Kate got busy and tried to hide its flaws with tinsel and garlands, but there was no hope of making it a stately evergreen. It was a Tannenbum! When both sets of parents arrived for Christmas dinner, Kate & Brad were surprised not to be criticized for their coniferous conundrum. Brad's gruffy Dad said the only thing to do in this case, was to put some Viagra in the tree water to keep it upright. Apparently his bark was worse than his bite!

Etymology: Pisa (The leaning Tower of) & Disaster (a state of extreme (usually irremediable) ruin and misfortune "His policies were a disaster";an event resulting in great loss and misfortune)

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COMMENTS:

Love the reference! - emdeejay, 2008-12-15: 02:52:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-12-10: 01:39:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes Thank you purpleartichokes ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-17: 00:14:00
Today's definition was suggested by purpleartichokes. Thank you purpleartichokes. ~ James