Verboticisms

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: not-thees [thin]

Sentence: Mr. Crooks always had a problem with his ears. One day, he went to the doctor and asked, "Doctor, my ears are semi-deaf. Hell, I can't even hear my own farts." The doctor gave him a wonder medicine that was described to miraculously heal the ears. One day, the meds kicked in and he was rushed to the emergency room with the wife screaming, "Notthis! Notthis!" The emergeny room was in a mess when the medicine that the doctor gave Mr. Crooks intensified his flatus rather than aid his hearing.

Etymology: not this

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Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: spry-pra-duct

Sentence: The therapy had the weirdest spryproduct - he started doing cartwheels after every session!

Etymology: spry (lively or active) + product; pun on byproduct (side effect)

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COMMENTS:

Wonderful! - ErWenn, 2007-06-18: 12:22:00

Though I think your pronunciation has one too many syllables. - ErWenn, 2007-06-18: 12:23:00

I fixed the pronunciation guide - thanks! - serendipity9000, 2007-06-18: 12:30:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: rep tyle dis funk shun

Sentence: "Doctor, Doctor" said Maude into the phone, "Those pills you gave Ed are making him act like a horny toad and an iguana who wanna...what's wrong with him?" The Doctor calmly replied, "He's just suffering from reptiledysfunction. He will go through stages where he will become a lounge lizard, play "Karma Chameleon"; vote for Newt Gingrich and redo your home in Art Gecko style. Just Monitor him and call me in the morning".

Etymology: Reptile (cold-blooded vertebrate) Dysfunction (any disturbance in the function of an organ or body part) & Wordplay on Erectile Dysfunction (impotence resulting from a man's inability to have or maintain an erection of his penis)

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COMMENTS:

Lol, how many reptile puns can you fit in?! You are clearly talented! ;) Made me smile. - Rhyme79, 2012-10-11: 10:23:00

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Created by: marinus

Pronunciation: geri-pee-di-o-morph-ism

Sentence: Grandpa said the pills made him feel twenty years younger, but after he broke his hip mountain biking we began to suspect that it was that geripediomophism the new commercials warned about.

Etymology: geriatric (old). pediatric (young). ideo- greek prefix "image" morph- form

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Created by: sanssouci

Pronunciation: Ree Flick Sir Lies

Sentence: I hesitated outside the brightly decorated shop and peered through the window. The shop was called Medimagic, it had only been trading for a month but already the business had got quiet a good reputation here in our little village of Greenwood, especially amongst the older community. Just the other day, while I was sitting on my wooden bench, relaxing in the afternoon sun outside my old little cottage. I was flabergasted to observe an energetic figure running towards me, my old mate Harold, 85 years old and there he was full of life like a sixteen year old lad! "They sell this herbal remedy George! They call it Relixerlize, I don't know what they put in it. It must be magic, look at me! I'm on fire" he loudly proclaimed, dancing around on my daffadils. Now here I was, curiosity got the better of me and I wanted a bit of what Harold had got. I stepped inside, I was getting myself some Relixerlize.

Etymology: reflex + elixer + revitalize = relixerlize reflex 1. noting or pertaining to an involuntary response to a stimulus 2. occurring in reaction; responsive. elixir 2.A substance believed to maintain life indefinitely. Also called elixir of life. 3. A substance or medicine believed to have the power to cure all ills. revitalize 1. to give new life to. 2. to give new vitality or vigor to.

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: tess-TOST-ehr-ram-paij

Sentence: Harleigh was a very sedate and well behaved senior citizen until he began taking some 'new age' suppliments he got thru a TV offer and after a few days on the therapy he went on a testosterage, not only frightening his wife, Heloise, but wearing her to a frazzle as well.

Etymology: Blend of 'testosterone' (n. the sex hormone, C 19 H 28 O 2 , secreted by the testes, that stimulates the development of male sex organs, secondary sexual traits, and sperm) and 'rampage' (n. violent or excited behavior that is reckless, uncontrolled, or destructive)

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Created by: Pythias

Pronunciation: vi-a-tro-gen-e-sis

Sentence: Your husband's behaviour may result from a rare side effect sometimes referred to as clinical viatrogenesis. This is not necessarily a bad thing.

Etymology: Viagra + iatrogenesis ( means "brought forth by a healer" )

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Created by: ajcor

Pronunciation: as it sounds

Sentence: Cyril suffered delightedly from PhonyPubePoints after taking his herbal remedy for hair loss and ingrowing toe nails.

Etymology: Phony - as in fake Pube as in pubescent = youth Points as in an unexpected hardening of personal protubing muscle = tent pegs

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: ther-age-pew-trick

Sentence: The tragedy was that her older husband had only wanted to surprise her for her birthday, but instead the theragepeutrick resulted in him spending the weekend sucking on a pacifier and wetting his pants.

Etymology: therapeutic + age + trick

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COMMENTS:

gives a whole new meaning to the endearment 'Baby' - Jabberwocky, 2007-06-18: 14:23:00

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Created by: guesser

Pronunciation: Amor + oops

Sentence: Jenny, bothered by her husbands new "condition", called his Doctor to ask, "How many more mornings am I going to have to put up with his desire for Fruit Loops and Amoroops for Breakfast"?

Etymology: Amorous ( passionate ) + oops ( mistake )

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