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'I thought you'd want a head on a platter'

DEFINITION: n. A punishment which does not fit crime. v. To assign a punishment which is bizarrely inappropriate, and seems totally unrelated to the crime which has been committed.

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Verboticisms

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Felonelevate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt

Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Winston and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.

Etymology: Blend of 'felon' (person convicted of a felony) and 'elevate' (raise).

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Inmaterial

Created by: mweinmann

Pronunciation: in - mate - tear - e - all

Sentence: After Barney jaywalked near the general store, Andy meted out a sentence that was inmaterial to the crime. He threw Barney in the slammer for three days....Barney got to see what it was like being an inmate, except that Aunt Bea brought him supper every evening.

Etymology: Inmate + Imaterial >> Inmate (convict: a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison) Imaterial (extraneous: not pertinent to the matter under consideration)

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COMMENTS:

love the Mayberry reference - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:39:00

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Payadox

Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: pay a dox

Sentence: Today's legal system is broken, for the punishments do not fit white-collar crimes. Madoff runs a Ponzi scheme and instead of being in jail, he is in his million dollar penthouse. Even more absurd, he is not made to pay any restitution, he gets to keep the billions he stole! Ditto, for the criminal mismanagement of bank assets by bank management. In their case, it gets even more perverse, for they are given bail-em-out -billions, and are free to do it again! There are politicians who do not pay their taxes. Instead of jail time, the president perversely appoints them to high political office with good pay and big benefits. The payadox of today is white-collar crime does pay, and pays big!

Etymology: It is a paradox when the punishment doesn't fit the white-collar crime ... and when that white collar crime pays off big-time, it is a payadox! (In the fictionary {fiction-dictionary} a dox is the new human animal: a white-collar fox in sheep's clothing seeking out hi$ prey.)

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COMMENTS:

so true and so sad - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:40:00

Good story...just sorry it is fact not fiction! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 19:04:00

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Misscourtalization

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Miss-cor-tell-lie-za-shun

Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Schemer went to court for his sentencing for committing thousands of felonies and robbing wealthy lil old ladies and retired gentlemen and the rich and infamous. His lawyer Mr. Flippant approached the bench as he stated to the judge that his client's "misscourtalization" was not a just conviction and a true fact that the jury had been too rough on him. So Judge Cramitall over road the jury and ordered defendant Mr. Ponzi Schemer to a lifetime on board a confined luxury yacht out in the Turks & Caicos Islands and to only eat Beluga caviar on toast points and only have Louis Roederer Champagne as his ONLY beverage until...he got sun burned at which time there would be an additional hearing to relocate him.

Etymology: Miss;As in misunderstood. Court;Where you have a legal hearing. A lie;Untruths. Zation;When everything said can and will be twisted around to where it makes no sense and will be used against you...maybe!

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Sissyfine

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: siss eeeeeeeee feye nnnnh

Sentence: He walked into judge Draco's courtroom with the sinking feeling that a sissyfine decision was on its way.

Etymology: fine, Sisyphean challenge" "wikipedia" As a punishment from the gods for his trickery, Sisyphus was compelled to roll a huge rock up a steep hill, but before he could reach the top of the hill, the rock would always roll back down again, forcing him to begin again.[2] The maddening nature of the punishment was reserved for Sisyphus due to his hubristic belief that his cleverness surpassed that of Zeus.

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COMMENTS:

oooh!! very cerebral today - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-06: 09:38:00

Wow! Sissyfine was just fine as a simple combine of sissy and fine and a great create. Then I read the etymology, enjoyed the Greek myth new to me. Not quite an eponym for you spelled it differently from the Greek, but that just made it better. Double meanings are not easily created. Absolutely Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:30:00

Very clever! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:20:00

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Punishmint

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: pənishmint

Sentence: Edward, the financier had bilked millions from people who had invested in his too-good-to-be-true scheme. The plaintiffs wanted blood. The judge gave him punishmint. Knowing that the defendant loathed the taste of mint — peppermint, spearmint, coolmint, any mint — that was all the candy he was to be allowed for the next 2 years. None of his beloved toffees. Not a single truffle. How he was going to get through it Edward wasn't quite sure. His only consolation was the punishmint he was set to make on his book deal.

Etymology: punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense) + mint (a peppermint candy)(a vast sum of money)

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COMMENTS:

OMG no mint? How cruel! - wayoffcenter, 2009-03-06: 05:57:00

Amazing that you took such a harsh word and turned into the sweet treat our justice system is handing out! Very Clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:21:00

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Incompatapunation

Created by: tvguard

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Missedemeanour

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: mist de meen er

Sentence: Judge M. Paired often assigned bizarre sentences that were not suited to the crime or precedent. In fact his missedemeanour way of paying back criminals allowed the worst to escape justice and the most innocent to face the music. Sadly, many of his peers do the same every day...

Etymology: Missed (got wrong; not caught with the senses or the mind) & Misdemeanour (a crime less serious than a felony)

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Perverdict

Created by: rombus

Pronunciation: pur - vur - dikt

Sentence: Judge Malloy handed down a perverdict in the swindling case against Margorie Vandenspit. After stealing millions of dollars from unsuspecting victims of phishing schemes; stealing their identities and sending them fishheads in the mail, Marjorie got off with community service. If this wasn't a case of perverdict justice, then I have lost more than my sense of humor.

Etymology: preverted and verdict -- perverted: distorted or deviating from what is usually considered to be normal or correct -- verdict: A decision on an issue of fact in a civil or criminal case or an inquest

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Indecentencing

Created by: Negatrev

Pronunciation: in-dee-sen-ten-sing

Sentence: Graham was ecstatic. Due to the judge's indecentencing, he was practically getting away with murder.

Etymology: from indecent ( improper - not suitable or right or appropriate; "slightly improper to dine alone with a married man"; "improper medication"; "improper attire for the golf course") AND sentencing (The act of pronouncing a judicial sentence on a defendant)

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Unfitrable

Created by: ede1994

Pronunciation: Un-Fi-Tra-ble

Sentence: This Word is Unfitrable to this sentence!

Etymology: It is a strange rarely used word.

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COMMENTS:

Nice melding of unfit and trouble, too! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:27:00

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Castivacation

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: cast/i/va/ca/tion

Sentence: While driving totally blind drunk, Joe hit and killed a senior citizen when he ran a red light. The judge's sentence was, to say the least, a castivacation: four consecutive weekends under house arrest in his own home.

Etymology: CASTIVACATION - noun - from CASTIGATION (to punish in order to correct) + VACATION (a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess, or holiday)

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Penrong

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: pen rong

Sentence: When the judge gave the sentence of 30 days in a luxury penthouse jail to the CEO of the biggest con job of the century, the defence lawyer filed an appeal called a penrong. Afterall, it was a victimless crime, no blood was spilled and such a sentence was cruel and unusual punishment for a mere bookkeeping error. Forcibly placing his client in such a primitive environment constituted a penal implant, which undermined his client's basic human rights and dignity.

Etymology: Pen (short for penitentiary or jail) & Enron (Billion dollar fraud scandal)& Wrong (incorrect)

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Misdemeanie

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: miss-de-mean-ee

Sentence: Parker copped a misdemeanie for parking his car in a no standing zone for 5 minutes. His punishment was to stand in the said zone for 3 days with no sleep in the pouring rain.

Etymology: misdemeanour (minor infringement) + meanie (a brute or bully)

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COMMENTS:

very clever! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-10: 15:01:00

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Maladaequojudicate

conflan

Created by: conflan

Pronunciation: n. mal'-ə-də-kwo-joo'-də-kət; v. mal'-ə-də-kwo-joo'-də-kate

Sentence: n. The O.J. Simpson trial was farcical, resulting as it did in an obvious maladaequojudicate. v. The teacher maladaequojudicated the student for eating in class with three years in an oubliette.

Etymology: mal: from French mal; from Latin male, meaning "badly." adaequo: from Latin adaequo, meaning "equalize" or "equal to the" judicate: from Medieval Latin judicatura, meaning "to judge" (judic-)+(-ate), a suffix occurring in loanwords from Latin.

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COMMENTS:

conflan In the twitter bar, the word is mistyped: it's maladaequojudicate, not maladequojuzicate! Sorry. :-( - conflan, 2015-09-17: 19:11:00

conflan Oops! It's also misspelled in the entry! - conflan, 2015-09-17: 19:14:00

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Punytivedamages

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: pewnee/tiv/dam/aj/es

Sentence: Punytivedamages amounting to a cutback of .025% of the Bank President's bonus for the year seemed unfair to the dispossessed living under the bridge who had been sold useless investments by his bank.

Etymology: puny (feeble, undersized) + punitve damages

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COMMENTS:

It makes you lose interest in banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:44:00

Master of the one letter change to form a perfect verbotomy! Brilliant! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:11:00

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Funishment

Created by: Ratty

Pronunciation: f-UN-ish-ment

Sentence: Barry's drunk mother (who had a high well-paid job in court) simply had to do something as a punishment after Barry chopped both her arms off. When Barry got a final sentence of doing community service for the most ridiculously generous rich old lady, his mother realized her rather regretful punishment was in fact a funishment.

Etymology: fun, punishment

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Fauxtence

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: foe-tense

Sentence: Mr. Ponzi Fakkier, your fauxtence requires that you have a staff of thirty people to make sure you abide by the rules of the court, to maintain a lifestyle of luxury...via our tax payers.

Etymology: Faux - Not genuine or real; being an imitation of the genuine article. Tense; taken in part from the word Sentence - Court judgment, especially a judicial decision of the punishment to be inflicted on one adjudged guilty.

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Dracomicarceration

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: dra-COMIC-are-sur-AY-shun (DRACOMICARCERATE)

Sentence: Judge Mentill-Case was not elected. He was a political apointee who wielded his gavel with wild abandon. Ever since his pet pug was flattened by a Lexus, he delighted in enforcing the hamlet's no-cell-phone driving ordinance. His punishment for a first offender was removal of all glass on the vehicle. Second offense entailed driving with snow chains on all four tires for a year. Third offense was DRACOMICARCERATION-confinement to a Volkswagon Beetle with the doors welded shut. The Judge's career ended when he crashed into a Starbuck's while texting.

Etymology: DRAconic+COMIc+inCARCERATION= DRACOMICARCRATION.....DRACONIC:of, relating to, or characteristic of Draco or the severe code of laws held to have been framed by him; Latin Dracon-, Draco, from Greek Drakōn Draco (Athenian lawgiver).....COMIC: causing laughter or amusement, funny, of, relating to, or marked by comedy; Latin comicus, from Greek kōmikos, from kōmos revel(1576).....INCARCERATE: to subject to confinement, to put in prison, to punish; Latin incarceratus, past participle of incarcerare, from in- + carcer prison Date: 1560,

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COMMENTS:

Here come da Judge...cute story. It took a latte to get rid of that judge! - Nosila, 2009-03-06: 18:42:00

Great triple word play! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:49:00

metrohumanx Thanks, kids! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 20:46:00

metrohumanx THE BEARS' "CAR CAUGHT FIRE" WINS ALBUM OF THE YEAR AT THE CINCINNATI ENTERTAINMENT AWARDS. On November 26, 2001, just 4 years after being inducted into CEA's Hall of Fame, the Bears won Album Of The Year for Car Caught Fire. Rob Fetters and Bob Nyswonger accepted the award shortly after Rob's solo performance of the Bears' "As You Are". - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:39:00

metrohumanx www.thebearsmusic.com - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 22:40:00

metrohumanx LIVE IT or LIVE WITH IT! - metrohumanx, 2009-03-06: 23:55:00

metrohumanx She was sick and tired of country life. A little country home, A little country folk, Made her blood run cold. Now her mother pines her heart away, Looking for her child in the big black smoke, In the big black smoke. Frailest, purest girl the world has seen, According to her Ma, according to her Pa, And everybody said, That she knew no sin and did no wrong, Till she walked the streets of the big black smoke, Of the big black smoke. Well, she slept in caffs and coffee bars and bowling alleys, And every penny she had Was spent on purple hearts and cigarettes. She took all her pretty coloured clothes, And ran away from home And the boy next door, For a boy named Joe. And he took her money for the rent And tried to drag her down in the big black smoke, In the big black smoke. In the big black smoke. In the big black smoke. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:39:00

metrohumanx Sorry about that. I got carried away. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:41:00

metrohumanx I'd like to thank the JAMES GANG for providing a very entertaining outlet for the mad ramblings of very talented people.. - metrohumanx, 2009-03-07: 00:48:00

Hear, Hear, metro! It's great to tell people you are in a gang! Respect! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:26:00

The creams rises to the TOP :) You're so creative Metrohumanx! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-25: 14:05:00

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Aproposterous

Created by: Filthy

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: Aproposterous is a combination of the words apropos and preposterous. The term has largely replaced it's cousin, moronic justice, since it better captures both the disproportional and inappropriate natures of a crime's consequence.

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Adjudipocrisy

Created by: cdoussett

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Funishment

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: fənishmənt

Sentence: When the starlet got caught for the fifth time her funishment was very severe. She was sentenced to 30 days in frizzon — that’s right, she was locked up in a place that didn’t have proper hair products. She could do nothing but throw on a scarf, dark sunglasses and steer clear of places where paparazzi might catch a glimpse.

Etymology: fun (enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure) + punishment (the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense)

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COMMENTS:

was just about to write that down :) - galwaywegian, 2010-09-17: 08:16:00

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Higohoamercement

RightOnTheWin

Created by: RightOnTheWin

Pronunciation: (Hig-o-ho\mər-smənt);Hig-hi-ho\a-merce-ment

Sentence: John was sentenced to pay a fine of fifteen thousand dollars for speeding; however the judge ruled this higōhōamercement as unconstitutional.

Etymology: Orgin:Higōhō(Japanese romaji), adjectival noun. Illegal; Unlawful. Amercement, noun. To punish by a fine whose amount is fixed by the court.

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Ninjustice

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: nin-juhs-tis

Sentence: Despite the very public nature of his crimes the executive was given a punishment that seemed almost nonexistent. The stealth nature of the judgment caused many to declare it ninjustice. Some, thinking he must have been intoxicated, accused the judge of ginjustice.

Etymology: ninja (a member of a feudal Japanese society of mercenary agents, highly trained in martial arts and stealth) + injustice (violation of the rights of others; unjust or unfair action or treatment)

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Nonsentence

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: nohn sen tensss

Sentence: the judge told the pervert that he would have to wash miss jones' underwear for a year. complete and utter nonsentence

Etymology: sentence, nonsense

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Convictimization

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kon vik tim ize ashun

Sentence: It was pre-ordained. His name was Rob and by gosh, that is what he did for a living. He also wrote very bad checks. When he was caught and sentenced to 25 years in the pokey, he thought he had fallen prey to convictimization. He was incarcerated at Sing Sing, where contrary to the name, they did not sing, often or well. Warden Gordon Borden thought it would be ironic if Rob wrote the new Prison Newsletter, since he was so good at writing (bad checks). Rob called this literary marvel, "Sentences" and worked hard at it to make it informative and entertaining. He carried regular features, such as a column on advice to the lovelorn..."In-Mates" with such pertinent features as "Are you suffering from Penal Dysfunction?";The Daily Horrorscope ("Your life has settled into predictable routine but just wait, the new screw in Cell Block 4 has his eye on you. Prepare for excitement."); a singles column "Cell-ABC" and recipes from the prison kitchen, "The Garden of Pleadin'" ...for Chili CON carney...take 500 pounds of ground meat, throw in 18 cups of saltpeter,...etc. He also added news items that affected his readership: "Care and feeding of your pet Cockroach"; and he used the digital camera to get candid snaps of daily life column, "I've been framed". Rob became a publishing ty-con and made the most of his pun-nishment!

Etymology: Convict (a person serving a sentence in a jail or prison; a person who has been convicted of a criminal offence; find or declare guilty) & Victimization (adversity resulting from being made a victim; an act that exploits or victimizes someone (treats them unfairly))

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COMMENTS:

written with conviction!! - galwaywegian, 2009-03-06: 05:56:00

Top Notch Job creating this 'con' job and 'con' verbotomy! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:15:00

So funny!!! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-08: 10:30:00

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Ojsimpsoned

Created by: whazat29

Pronunciation: o.j. simpsoned

Sentence: o my gosh, I was so o.j. simpsoned for dating becky's mom.

Etymology: o.j. simpson

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Felonelevate

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fel-ehn-ELL-eh-vayt

Sentence: The jury was certain the judge had come completely unhinged when he decided to felonelevate the punishment of Elmer and sentenced him to a year in jail for littering.

Etymology: Blend of felon and elevate.

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Justdesserts

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: JUST de ZURTZ

Sentence: Charles explained his deranged, pie in the sky plan to rob a bank to his brother Simon. Always jealous of Charles, Simon hoped the plan would fail and Charles would get his just deserts. If Charles was in jail for his bungled attempt to pull off this heist, Simon could take his place in the family bakery business and win some attention from his mother, who clearly favoured Charles of the two. Simon called the police and revealed Charles’s plan. Charles would be using the family bakery truck so that anyone seeing the van there would think he was just delivering pies, and he would be on his way out of town at 2 pm in the van, with the money. Simon hoped to assist in bungling the plan but forgot his basic mathematics, that two negatives make a positive. When Charles stopped off at the family bakery to say goodbye to his mother, after robbing the bank, he accidentally left in the wrong van. He took Simon’s van. Simon got HIS just deserts as he ended up in jail. In Charles’s vans were…just desserts. Charles felt he got justdesserts-plenty of sweet deals-after Simon went to jail: a raise and a promotion; Simon’s girlfriend; and the icing on the cake...a constant reminder from Mom that he was the “good son”.

Etymology: DESSERTS: sweet food served at the end of a meal JUST DESERTS: (the combination of the rarely used definition of the word DESERT: that which one deserves and JUST: for justice) to mean that which is considered to be deserved or merited; a just punishment or reward; poetic justice

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COMMENTS:

Intriguing word ... more please! Waited all day for the pronunciation, sentence, and etymology! But I understand you might have been called away and are superbusy. Will check back again tomorrow! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-06: 19:40:00

Thanks for your devotion. This one is as silly as ever. :) (Yes I was very busy. These always come out at a bad time of day for me.) - kateinkorea, 2009-03-07: 01:14:00

love your story & word, kate! You'd think 2 guys in a bakery would make enough dough without robbing banks! - Nosila, 2009-03-08: 22:32:00

It was worth waiting for! Admire the great and humorous twists on 'justdesserts' - silveryaspen, 2009-03-09: 01:24:00

Very good! - Mustang, 2009-03-10: 02:55:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-06: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-09-17: 00:22:00
Today's definition was suggested by metrohumanx. Thank you metrohumanx. ~ James