Verboticisms

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: paw lee graft

Sentence: When the family went on their long vacation, they had left their green conure, Polly, with Uncle Mikey to "birdsit". Polly had developed an good vocabulary saying things like "Hello", "I love you", "Give me a kiss" and of course, "Polly wanna cracker". After they had taken Polly home, they noticed strange words crept into his vocabulary. Phrases like "Hand over all your money", "Just co-operate and no one gets hurt" and "Curses, it's the cops" were liberally sprinkled with swear words through his everyday chats. Horrified, they confronted Uncle Mikey and he admitted that he had pollygraft Polly and had used him in some of his criminal activities. Uncle Mikey was then polygraphed himself and sentenced. These days, Mikey is the one locked up in a cage and Polly now sings "Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna doi when they come for you?"

Etymology: Polly (common name for a Parrot or other talking bird) & Graft (corrupt actions of official: the use of dishonest or illegal means to gain money or property by somebody in a position of power or in elected office or money obtained corruptly: something obtained illegally by taking advantage of high position or office)...Wordplay on Polygraphed (a medical instrument that records several physiological processes simultaneously (e.g., pulse rate and blood pressure and respiration and perspiration) most commonly called a Lie Detector when used in police interrogations)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: swin/dil/brake/ur

Sentence: Joey was supposed to keep our puppy on a rigorous diet while we were away but instead fed it junk food which lead to uncontrolable farting. Henceforth we think of Joey as a swindlebreaker.

Etymology: swindle (take advantage of, cheat) + break wind

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Created by: Banky

Pronunciation: pat-rih-bull-dree

Sentence: Dear Mr. Silverstein, I'm writing to you today concerning the behavior of your son, Andrew Dice, in my morning kindergarten class. He has become somewhat of a distraction to the class, and I have to question whether or not he is being exposed to the proper developmental tools at home. His sense of humor is overly mature for a class of this level, and I don't think it would be inaccurate to state that he has the vocabulary of a longshoreman. When asked to share his favorite nursery rhyme in class the other day, he recited a profane perversion of "Jack and Jill". He laughs alound whenever someone mentions playing with balls at recess, or I chastise a member of the class for eating paste. I caught a member of the class a week ago giving herself a haircut with the safety shears, and Andrew suggested that she use them for a "Brazillian". He routinely pulls the covers off of female members of the class during nap time, throws a handful of change at them, and tells them "you gotta get outta here". Whether patribaldry is to blame or some other member of your family has instilled these poor behaviors, this must be corrected, or we will have no other option but to remove your child from our school. Sincerely, Mrs. Abagail Trenton, Sunny Heights Grade School

Etymology: patri - of the father, ribaldry - obscene or improper behavior

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COMMENTS:

Nice word and story. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-02-26: 16:13:00

Cringed over the sentence. Great word! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:18:00

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Created by: OllyBiss

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: bäbnäkshəs

Sentence: Sending her kids to spend the summer with her brother Robert seemed like a good idea at the time. What Sharon got back was two kids loaded down with Bobnoxious tricks and stunts; everything from ”pull my finger” from Janie, her 4-year old to pails of water over her door from 7-year old Tom. She can’t wait until next summer when she hosts Bob’s kids.

Etymology: Bob (nickname for Robert) obnoxious (extremely unpleasant)

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəsˈtōdēən

Sentence: Sending Billy to spend the Summer with his Grandpa seemed like a great idea at first. It turns out that PaPa is a terrific cusstodian. Sally sent away a cute, sweet 4-year old and retrieved a foul-mouth terror. The first inkling she had was when asked Billy to help collect and load his stuff into the car. "Get it yourself, bitch!". She was stunned. PaPa's snickering didn't make her feel any better.

Etymology: cuss (an offensive word or phrase used to express anger or annoyance) custodian (somebody who is in charge or looks after something or someone)

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COMMENTS:

My dad taught my kids how to spit for distance!!! Great word! - wayoffcenter, 2008-12-10: 08:34:00

Dang it that's a good word! - Nosila, 2008-12-10: 21:36:00

Good one..reminds me of Uncle Phil. - Mustang, 2008-12-10: 22:46:00

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Created by: newmaa14

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology: Mal-meaning bad and Eurido- latin for teach

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Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Mal-a-sit-ter-ism

Sentence: Despite all precautions and checking, one cannot totally avoid the possibility that a child will pick up a malasitterism from the babysitter.

Etymology: Mal- Bad / Sitter- Part-time caregiver / ism- habit or manner

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COMMENTS:

Especially if the baby sitter is Mrs. Malaprop! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 18:59:00

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Created by: libertybelle

Pronunciation: sir-oh-grate

Sentence: I hesistated to let my brother watch my child as he proved his status as a surrohgreat last time when he taught her a score of filthy limericks.

Etymology: surrogate + oh great!

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COMMENTS:

Took me a moment to parse this one, but it made me chuckle when it clicked. - ErWenn, 2008-02-26: 10:12:00

it sort of reminds me of sewer grate which would be a grate place for filthy limericks - Jabberwocky, 2008-02-26: 13:24:00

Wouldn't you like to gate the mouths on the sirs who are surrohgreats! - silveryaspen, 2008-02-26: 19:07:00

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Created by: silveryaspen

Pronunciation: harm you kay shun

Sentence: When Harry met Sally, she was a nice lady, polite, well-mannered, and a delight to see. By example, Harry taught her to pick her nose and scratch her bottom, and to shovel all the food on her plate, to make sure no one else got some. Now, Harry is sorry and sad to tell, his harmucations have made Sally as irritating as ... ahem ... well ... himself!

Etymology: Harm You, Educations - teaching people bad habits is giving them harmucations.

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