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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Drettle

vmalcolm

Created by: vmalcolm

Pronunciation: /dretl/

Sentence: He has drettled this bottle again! How many times will I have to deal with this drettle?!?!

Etymology: DRETTLE. v. tr/ n From Dressing + Throttle

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Paratorque

Created by: milorush

Pronunciation: (tr. v.) pěr'-rə-tôrk (n.) pěr'-rə-tôrk'-ər

Sentence: "Don't paratorque the ketchup before you put it in the fridge," shouted Mom. "Next time you do it you'll have to clean the entire kitchen!"

Etymology: Para- (false) + torque (to twist)

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Creamyitalianbush

Created by: crmow

Pronunciation: kree-me-it-al-yun-bush

Sentence: George creamyitalianbushed Julie, so she had to send her blouse to the drycleaners.

Etymology: Creamy Italian + ambush

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Frenchmessing

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: fren tch messs ihng

Sentence: with a twist of the wrist the french dressing became frenchmessing. magnifique!

Etymology: french dressing, messing

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Gotchup

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gächəp

Sentence: Rudy fell for a whole bottle of gotchup. He was a great fan of practical jokes. He was constantly pulling stunts on his roommate. Finally it was Billy's turn. After observing Rudy's habit of turning the catsup bottle over and giving it a good thunk before opening the cap, Billy knew what to do. He loosened the cap and sat back to see the results. Sure enough, Rudy proceeded to empty about half the bottle on his pants and new shoes with one good whack. The whole thing was made that much sweeter by the fact that Rudy insisted on buying the cheap runny catsup instead of the brand that Billy liked. His only regret was that PitterPat, his cat, was well within the spatter zone as the prank ensued.

Etymology: gotcha (an instance of publicly tricking someone or exposing them to ridicule) + catsup (a spicy sauce made chiefly from tomatoes and vinegar, used as a condiment)

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COMMENTS:

great story - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-19: 09:33:00

Excellent word! - Mustang, 2008-09-19: 17:12:00

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Ketchuprank

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kech-uh-prangk

Sentence: Jill's boyfriend thinks he is a real jokester. He is famous for his ketchuprank where he leaves the cap lightly so that the next user gets a lapful of stains.

Etymology: ketchup (a condiment consisting of puréed tomatoes, onions, vinegar, sugar, spices, etc) + prank (a trick of an amusing, playful, or sometimes malicious nature)

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Saladregressing

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: SAL-luhd-ree-grehs-sihng

Sentence: Neither Alex's date nor her white dress appreciated his foolish act of saladregressing.

Etymology: salad dressing + regressing to the level of 12-year-olds

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Kapsplatter

Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Vinairegret

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: vina/regret

Sentence: A favourite cafeteria joke is vinairegret which involves replacing the lids on salad dressing with larger ones - especially appreciated by dry cleaners.

Etymology: vinaigrette + regret

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COMMENTS:

petaj Gar!lick at that! Beaten to it on the vinegar-based dressing theme. - petaj, 2007-10-23: 08:23:00

Spicey! - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-23: 11:51:00

Vinnie regrets doing this to me because I've capunked him with vengence threefold. - Stevenson0, 2007-10-23: 12:32:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James