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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Splattermine

Created by: ErWenn

Pronunciation: /ˈsplædɚˌmaɪn/ /splatter-mine/

Sentence: He hated April Fool's Day as his girlfriend would always booby-trap the entire house, filling it with splattermines, powdersnares, gluetrops, tapewires, squirtbombs, featherfalls, boobie traps, stinkpits, and pie cannons.

Etymology: From splatter + mine (as in the explosive device)

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COMMENTS:

No, I did not misspell "booby trap". A "boobie trap" is something else entirely. I'll leave it up to you to decide what it actually is. - ErWenn, 2007-10-23: 12:12:00

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Tophersplat

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: Top-her-splat

Sentence: Paulie Prankster always set his wife up with a tophersplat every time she used Verbotomy Salad Dressing.

Etymology: Top- a lid of a container. Her- Female. Splat- a wet slapping sound.

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Sausprize

Created by: tdhall56

Pronunciation: saw sprize

Sentence: She got a sausprize when she tried to put ketchup on her fries.

Etymology: sauce surprise or prize (something extra)

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Salambush

Created by: mustkeepsanity

Pronunciation: Sa-lam-bush

Sentence: Carmen found a salambush waiting for her in the kitchen; the lid on the salad dressing looked screwed on but wasn't. Was it an accident, or was someone at the party deliberately trying to stain her?

Etymology: Salad and Ambush

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Pneumanzone

Created by: Kyoti

Pronunciation: New-mans-own

Sentence: "Who was that guy in the 'Butch and Sundance' film who donates all the profits to charity?", asked Alyssa as she brusquely reached for the bottle, squeezed, and fell victim to yet another heartless pneumanzoning from her grinning boyfriend.

Etymology: Pneuma: prefix meaning "full of air", man: as in "manual", zone: referring to the splatter area as a ratio of the release of air in direct proportion to valuable family heirlooms and furniture.

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Kiiriskits

Created by: damaribj

Pronunciation: fruity and smeell like booty

Sentence: me and cusins made it up in a club we made and we in a tree and called peple kiiriskits and kiiriskits means your fruity and smeell like booty

Etymology: fruity and smeell like booty

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Shookenfreude

Created by: pungineer

Pronunciation: Shoe/ken/froy/duh

Sentence: Part of the Nazis' dastardly masterplan to conquer America during WW2 was to spread confusion and terror across the land by recruiting waitresses to act as Shookenfreuders

Etymology: Shook (as in all shook up) + Schadenfreude (to take pleasure in the misfortunes of others mwah ha ha ha etc)

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COMMENTS:

libertybelle now that's clever!! - libertybelle, 2007-10-23: 09:14:00

Thanks, i'm liking yours too, sounds more exciting than a caesar salad somehow.. - pungineer, 2007-10-23: 09:19:00

Thanks, i'm liking yours too, sounds more exciting than a caesar salad somehow.. - pungineer, 2007-10-23: 09:26:00

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Asaltandsplattery

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: əsôltandsplatərē

Sentence: Gerry is a real practical joker. In a case of asaltandsplattery he loosened the lid of the salt shaker and ketchup bottle as he served fries to his guests.

Etymology: A play on assault and battery

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COMMENTS:

:) - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:18:00

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Slyaladize

Created by: Kevcom

Pronunciation: sslye-aghlla-dyesz

Sentence: Mr. Wiggums gradually came to realize that the best prank he could play on his salad addicted friend whould be to Slyaladize the salad dressing bottle, so that when his friend went to shake it, he would get a faceful of (IDEAS Verbotomy Create-a-word!)

Etymology: Sly + Salad + Ize

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 02:57:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram! ~ James

petaj petaj - 2007-10-23: 08:19:00
Definitely Krafty behaviour!

remistram - 2007-10-23: 09:52:00
I had to marry the loose lidder...I'm a shake first, tight lidder thus the birth of this definition.

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-10-23: 10:19:00
Time to throttle the bottler? ~ James

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:29:00

galwaywegian - 2008-09-19: 06:30:00
very high standard so far today!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-02-18: 00:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James