Verboticisms

Created by: mplsbohemian

Pronunciation: SAL-luhd-ree-grehs-sihng

Sentence: Neither Alex's date nor her white dress appreciated his foolish act of saladregressing.

Etymology: salad dressing + regressing to the level of 12-year-olds

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ka/puhngk/d

Sentence: Jeremy capunked three different people at dinner last night leaving ketchup, mustard and oil and vinegar on the walls, ceiling and floors, not to mention his victims.

Etymology: CAPUNKED - verb - from CAP (a close-fitting covering for a bottle, or jar) + PUNKED (to "get" someone in a practical joke; someone caught unaware in a practical joke)

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COMMENTS:

CAPUNKED: A Mob Hit. What Al Capone's show would have been called. - zxvasdf, 2008-09-21: 21:24:00

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Created by: lawlore

Pronunciation: flid-l

Sentence: I loved my girlfriend, but she had so many annoying habits. I got so sick of her fliddling every time we went out to dinner- she thought it was sooooo funny, but I think she just had shares in my dry cleaners.

Etymology: Portmanteau of fiddle (v., in the sense of "to interfere or play with") and lid (n., the top of a container)

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Created by: maggiejohnle

Pronunciation:

Sentence: "I left you a capfool in the fridge, ha ha"

Etymology:

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sal-ad-mes-sing

Sentence: Jim, a perpetual five year old, played one too many practical jokes on his wife when he fixed the lid on the salad dressing, what he called saladmessing, so that it would completely ruin her new sweater. She packed her bags, and handed him a letter from her lawyer. "How's that for closure," she asked before slamming the door.

Etymology: wordplay on salad dressing -- salad + messing: to mess around with or make a mess

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COMMENTS:

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:12:00

like it...don't mess with the dressing! - Nosila, 2010-02-18: 17:22:00

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Created by: zxvasdf

Pronunciation: gul-li-cap

Sentence: Susan's husband pulled a gullicap; he loved to dress her at the most surprising moments. Susan was gullicapped by her husband, at the amusement of her children. Gullicapping is an art form practiced by professional pranksters around the world. Gullicapturing denotes a prankster's success.

Etymology: Gullible (easily deceived or cheated) & Cap (covering)

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Created by: lawvol

Pronunciation: Slippt-ôh-lidd

Sentence: Jake was careful to sliptolid the bottle such that his roommate was unaware that something was afoot with the "Ken's Steak House Ranch Dressing".

Etymology: Slipped Lid

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: howww growww smann

Sentence: Her frenzied shaking of the howgrossman bottle left thousand island dressing dressing the island in the kitchen

Etymology: how gross lloyd grossman sauce

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: may-non-aaaaaz

Sentence: I have some vinregrets, but listening out for the maisnonaaaaghs always cracks me up, when I've carefully sabotaged the condiments.

Etymology: mayonnaise + mais non (fr. but no, exclaimed loudly, followed by) aaaaaghs

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COMMENTS:

aaaaghs - good word petaj - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-23: 12:27:00

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