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'Oh no! I hate it when my husband tries to dress me!'

DEFINITION: v., To carefully place a lid on a bottle, especially a salad dressing bottle, so that it appears closed and will not spill unless the bottle is moved or shaken. n., A bottle which has been prepared in such a manner.

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Verboticisms

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Saladmessing

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sal-ad-mes-sing

Sentence: Jim, a perpetual five year old, played one too many practical jokes on his wife when he fixed the lid on the salad dressing, what he called saladmessing, so that it would completely ruin her new sweater. She packed her bags, and handed him a letter from her lawyer. "How's that for closure," she asked before slamming the door.

Etymology: wordplay on salad dressing -- salad + messing: to mess around with or make a mess

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COMMENTS:

nice - galwaywegian, 2010-02-18: 07:12:00

like it...don't mess with the dressing! - Nosila, 2010-02-18: 17:22:00

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Faketite

Created by: KenM2

Pronunciation:

Sentence: He carefully performed faketite on the bottle, then hid in the back to watch the victim.

Etymology: Fake+Tight

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Vinairegrette

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh re gret

Sentence: The case: Rosemary shook the salad dressing only to have it Russian all over her and the kitchen. The lid had been left loose. The Prime Suspect: Her husband Ceasar, a real Rocket Scientist, who went too far this time. Lettuce examine the motives: Ceasar had been carrying on with the cute tomato next door, Arugula Caprese. Rosemary discovered them undressing one day. She told Arugula's boyfriend, Radicchio Romaine, of the infidelity and he ordered Ceasar to be tossed in the Thousand Islands area. There was not mushroom for doubt in the jurors' minds when they heard that Ceasar had bean artichoked and Rosemary was acquitted for her part, filled with vinairegrette; she just wants everyone to leaf her alone. For his escarole in the slawter, Radicchio Romaine is waiting on Death Row to be Chard, cos he was found guilty. Endive story.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (oil and vinegar with mustard and garlic, used as a salad dressing) & Regret (be sorry;contrite;remorseful)

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Capunked

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: ka/punk/ed

Sentence: Jeremy capunked three different people at dinner last night leaving ketchup, mustard and oil and vinegar on the walls, ceiling and floors, not to mention his victims.

Etymology: cap + punked

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COMMENTS:

very funny!! - Jabberwocky, 2007-10-23: 12:09:00

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