Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: gächəp

Sentence: Rudy fell for a whole bottle of gotchup. He was a great fan of practical jokes. He was constantly pulling stunts on his roommate. Finally it was Billy's turn. After observing Rudy's habit of turning the catsup bottle over and giving it a good thunk before opening the cap, Billy knew what to do. He loosened the cap and sat back to see the results. Sure enough, Rudy proceeded to empty about half the bottle on his pants and new shoes with one good whack. The whole thing was made that much sweeter by the fact that Rudy insisted on buying the cheap runny catsup instead of the brand that Billy liked. His only regret was that PitterPat, his cat, was well within the spatter zone as the prank ensued.

Etymology: gotcha (an instance of publicly tricking someone or exposing them to ridicule) + catsup (a spicy sauce made chiefly from tomatoes and vinegar, used as a condiment)

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COMMENTS:

great story - Jabberwocky, 2008-09-19: 09:33:00

Excellent word! - Mustang, 2008-09-19: 17:12:00

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: vin eh ree gret

Sentence: Lettuce reinact the crime. Rosie Roquefort had gone to the fridge cos she wanted to romaine slim by eating a healthy salad. She combined the vegetable ingredients and tossed them into the salad bowl. She retraced her steps back to the fridge to get a bottle of salad dressing. From the array in the door, she pondered whether to pick Paul Newman or something more Krafty as her choy-ce, checking for expiry dates. She picked a bottle of vinaigrette and took it over to shake and pour over her salad. Only she had picked a bottle of vinairegrette instead... because when she tried to shake it, the entire contents of the full bottle sprayed all over her, her kitchen and everything in it. The Usual Suspect, her husband, Basil Roguefort came to mind. Her suspicions were confirmed when she spotted him rolling on the dining room floor with laughter and the video camera in his hand. The beet cobbs would turnip later when she caught Basil and tried to artichoke him. The CSI(Criminal Salad Investigators) measured the spatter patterns and chard the trajectories. Basil was collard when his fingerprints were found all over the bottle and lid of the dressing. He was charged with bottle-ism, a rare form of vandalism involving bottles. Rosie was charged with attempted manslawter. When the case came to court, Rosie beet the wrap because the vegetarian judge thought she got a raw deal. The judge tossed out the salad case, as there was mushroom for doubt. Rosie was later featured on the Okra Winfrey show and has now optioned her life story in a book called "Salad Days"...she will never have to earn a celery again. Basil romaines in custody where he has found Judaism and plans to become a kohlrabi.

Etymology: Vinaigrette (a salad dressing with oil and vinegar as well as mustard and garlic) & Regret (sadness associated with some wrong done or some disappointment)

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Created by: lawlore

Pronunciation: flid-l

Sentence: I loved my girlfriend, but she had so many annoying habits. I got so sick of her fliddling every time we went out to dinner- she thought it was sooooo funny, but I think she just had shares in my dry cleaners.

Etymology: Portmanteau of fiddle (v., in the sense of "to interfere or play with") and lid (n., the top of a container)

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Created by: FreakoSpeako

Pronunciation:

Sentence: the soda bottle exdloped when the lady shook it and opened it.

Etymology:

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Created by: Chickp

Pronunciation: Cap/splatter

Sentence: The lid was just loose enough that I was kapsplattered with Thousand Island Dressing when I shoke the bottle

Etymology: Cap+splatter

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: vina/regret

Sentence: A favourite cafeteria joke is vinairegret which involves replacing the lids on salad dressing with larger ones - especially appreciated by dry cleaners.

Etymology: vinaigrette + regret

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COMMENTS:

Gar!lick at that! Beaten to it on the vinegar-based dressing theme. - petaj, 2007-10-23: 08:23:00

Spicey! - purpleartichokes, 2007-10-23: 11:51:00

Vinnie regrets doing this to me because I've capunked him with vengence threefold. - Stevenson0, 2007-10-23: 12:32:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: howww growww smann

Sentence: Her frenzied shaking of the howgrossman bottle left thousand island dressing dressing the island in the kitchen

Etymology: how gross lloyd grossman sauce

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Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: Lo-bottle-me

Sentence: When she shook the catsup bottle the lid flew off, catsup slattered her forehead giving her a frontal lobottlemee

Etymology: Lobotomy + bottle

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Created by: FreakyDeak

Pronunciation: kän-dɪ-mənt

Sentence: Even the word condement felt slippery in her brain as she fell victim to the unyielding ketchup.

Etymology: condiment (topping or dressing) + dement (to make insane)

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COMMENTS:

Not to mention "con", as in to fool someone. - artr, 2013-01-08: 07:16:00

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Created by: thegoatisbad

Pronunciation: ta-pel-gang-er

Sentence:

Etymology:

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