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Verboticisms

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Retaildundunce

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: re tayl dun duns

Sentence: Chad was what we call a retaildundunce. He'd come into the store, approach a clerk who was obviously wearing a uniform, complete with name tag and ask them if they worked here? He did this in every department he went into and yet he never bought anything or asked about our merchandise. It turned out that Chad was a "Mystery Shopper" who was hired by an agency to check on our customer service levels. How did we find out what he did? When our security department apprehended him, under his jacket he wore a uniform complete with name tag that said, "Chad, Mystery Shopper!" DUH!

Etymology: Retail (the selling of goods to consumers; usually in small quantities and not for resale) & Redundant (repetition of same sense in different words; use of more words than required to express an idea) & Dunce (these words are used to express a low opinion of someone's intelligence)

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kluhtz tom errrrrr

Sentence: If another klutztomer asked him if he was the manager despite his large laminated photo I.D, has $500 dollar suit, his genuine crocodile shoes and his hide briefcase, he would cut out their liver and bring it home to mother for dinner.

Etymology: customer, klutz

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COMMENTS:

LOL Mine is a MORON and yours is a KLUTZ! Everybody is being hilarious on this word :) - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:17:00

muchly enjoyed the humor in your sentence and your word - funtastic! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:35:00

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Customoron

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmôrän

Sentence: ”It must be National Idiot Day” Debbie said to herself as one customoron after another took up the challenge of asking the stupidest question. ”Do you work here?” was beat out by ”Is this stuff (on the clearance table) on sale? She can’t wait to see what they come up with today.

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + moron (a stupid person)

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Querylyevident

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: kweer/lee/ev/i/dent

Sentence: Even though Sam stood at the crosswalk in his bright orange vest with the yellow reflective stripe which said Crossing Guard, holding a giant stop sign, pedestrians would still pose the querlyevident question "Are you the Crossing Guard"? Sometimes it made him feel like running amok in traffic.

Etymology: query + evident + 'clearly evident'

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COMMENTS:

LOL! made him feel like running amok in traffic. GOOD ONE! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 22:49:00

Funny! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-28: 00:00:00

play on the oft said 'fairly evident', too. Excellent word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:00:00

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Klutztomer

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: klutz tum urrrr

Sentence: trying to keep this particular klutztomer satisfied was like trying to herd cats

Etymology: customer klutz

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Cusdumber

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kus dum mer

Sentence: If you have ever worked in retail or other service jobs, you know who they are. Sure, not the nice 95% of Customers who actually pay your wage, happily, but the 5% who are the Cusdumber...the ones that usually don't end up spending, just making your life harder. They cannot read signs (like "Final Sale, No refunds"; "One per Customer" or "Do not Open Packages"). They ask foolish questions, "This is the only one in my size, will it still be here next week?" or "Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" or "It's 9:00 pm, does that bell ringing mean you are closing? But I just got here!" Sometimes they are rude and say hurtful things like,"Don't you know how to operate a till?" or "When I ask for a sparkly rainbow thingy with bright lights on it, you should know what I mean...did you flunk your training class?" After one of these frustrating encounters, I console myself with the fact that I am not that person and try to not be a cusdumber myself when it is my turn to be a consumer!

Etymology: Customer (someone who pays for goods or services)& Cuss (swear at)& Dumber (slow to learn or understand; lacking intellectual acuity)

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COMMENTS:

Awesome job! - kateinkorea, 2009-03-27: 04:16:00

"Do these emeralds come in any other colour but green?" LOL!!!! - abrakadeborah, 2009-03-27: 05:19:00

great word!! - mweinmann, 2009-03-27: 14:45:00

Did she wish the cusdumber went right on buyher? Super marketing word! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:07:00

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Jackask

petaj

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: jack-ass-k

Sentence: Jill wandered around K-mart looking for help with door hinges. Eventually she went to the service desk to ask a question. The assistant called over the speaker system "Hardware to the service desk, Hardware to the service desk". When the hardware expert appeared at the service desk, Jill made a total jackask of herself saying "do you work here?"

Etymology: jackass (fool) + ask + K (as in kmart)

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COMMENTS:

mrskellyscl laughing out loud...great word - mrskellyscl, 2009-03-27: 08:58:00

super word - Jabberwocky, 2009-03-27: 12:24:00

Hilarious! THanks for such great word! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:14:00

Easy to remember, meaning apparent, great blending, clever pun, ... Superb Won! - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:32:00

petaj thanks all - petaj, 2009-03-30: 06:40:00

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Inquisidolt

metrohumanx

Created by: metrohumanx

Pronunciation: in-QUIS-i-dolt

Sentence: Just got this one in "under the wire"...(electrified cattle fence)...I don't really know if this is "appropriate", but i TRUST all you crazy Verbotomists not to judge me too harshly... PAMBO wore his best "hoodie" while out shopping, and when he spotted the slinky young lady sporting a semi-commercial looking outer garb reminiscent of his favorite Progressive Insurance Representative (Stephanie Courtney), PAMBO cast all caution to the wind and asked her if she could get him a discount. PAMBO was rejected like a transplanted baboon heart, but it didn't cramp his style, because he was a dyed-in-the-wool INQUISIDOLT!

Etymology: One who makes obviously redundant inquiries....INQUISITION: a severe questioning;Middle English inquisicioun, from Anglo-French inquisition, from Latin inquisition-, inquisitio, from inquirere .....DOLT: a stupid person; probably akin to Old English dol foolish 1553....

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COMMENTS:

metrohumanx Where can i get a fish license? - metrohumanx, 2009-03-28: 00:19:00

Excellent....Pambo was master of the duhblivious... - Mustang, 2009-03-28: 03:29:00

Maybe you can get a fish license at the office of the justice of the deeps. - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:17:00

Great job of using James' cartoon for the basis for your sentence. Pambo is lucky he's not facing a sentence for his inquisidolt! You put a fresh spin on an old thing and got a big grin! As the old man in the old tv show Laugh In used to say "very interrrresting!" - silveryaspen, 2009-03-28: 15:29:00

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Excusemebutt

mrskellyscl

Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: ex-kuse-mee-but

Sentence: Karla was still stinging about losing her job at the securities firm when she started her shift at the discount store. Not only did she have to give up her salary and benefits, but instead of having a latte with the girls in mailing she was stuck with spending her days trying to communicate with the idiot teenagers who worked there. On top of everything else she was ready to take a swing at the next excusemebutt that came up to her to see if she was an employee when she was obviously wearing a disgusting brown shirt with a moronic pink and orange logo on it. They would look directly at her name tag and say, "Excuse me, but, do you work here?" She wanted to scream,"Do you really think someone would intentionally go out of the house in this shirt?"

Etymology: Excuse: pardon, forgive; Butt: (slang) buttocks

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COMMENTS:

Very funny! - splendiction, 2009-03-28: 11:12:00

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Customyeranidiot

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kəstəmyoŏranidēət

Sentence: Spring has come to the Mall. There is a sense of renewal as the new product lines are displayed. Gone are the Winter doldrums of the Christmas left-over sales and inventory sales. Maybe, just maybe the next customer who comes through the door will be engaging, funny, insightful, interesting... but alas each entrant into the customer-of-the-year competition seems to find a way to transmogrify from patron to customyeranidiot with insipid questions like, "Do you work here?" "Are these (the display with the strobing 50% off sign) the sale items?" or "This item that I just dropped on the floor has a chip. Can I get a mark-down on it?" The clerk soon retreats to thoughts of after-work diversions and mentally seeks a "happy place" instead of the "uzi on the rooftop" place. Retail is swell!

Etymology: customer (a person or organization that buys goods or services from a store or business) + "You're an idiot" (self- explanatory)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-27: 00:01:01
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

ladyiggy - 2009-03-27: 09:46:00
You are very welcomed. Great words. It's hard to pick.

kateinkorea - 2009-03-28: 10:16:00
Good word!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-03-29: 15:46:00
Thank you! And really, it is hard to be polite to retail staffers without being stupid. ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2010-10-11: 00:12:00
Today's definition was suggested by ladyiggy. Thank you ladyiggy. ~ James

'Hey, do you work here?'

DEFINITION: v. To ask someone who is clearly in a store uniform, perhaps on a ladder creating a display or running a cash register "Do you work here?" n. A person who doesn't know how to ask for assistance in a retail store without asking a stupid question.

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