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'I need to feel sexy again! Give me Britney's abs!'

DEFINITION: v. intr., To compensate for emotional rejection by trying to change one's appearance through aggressive dieting, exercise and/or plastic surgery -- common among aging divorcees.

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Verboticisms

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Vexyoursize

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: veks yor syes

Sentence: When Vicki left Victor, he knew he had to vexyoursize and change his appearance in order to win her back or attract someone new. He tried diets, exercise and really could not afford surgery. Depressed he went into a bar to drown his sorrows. Feeling a little tipsy and slurring his words a bit, he stumbled home in the dark. He passed a church and decided to pray to the angels for a new look. He awoke the next day in the church and was stunned to see his reflection in a mirror. He looked worse! How could this be? At that point an old Irish Priest appeared at his side and said, "My son, you must be careful what you ask for when praying to the angels! Your speech was so slurred that they misunderstood you. You asked for a rose, instead of a new nose, so they gave you a big red one. You asked for a gin, instead of a new chin, so they gave you a double. You asked for bigger ears, they thought you said big arrears, so now you're broke. You asked for new hair, they thought you said a good scare, so now you have been neutered. You asked for new legs, they thought you said new pegs, so you can hobble home on two wooden ones. You asked for slimmer thighs, they thought you said dimmer eyes, so now you'll need strong glasses. You asked for a firm jaw, they thought you said a claw, so now you'll look talon-ted!"

Etymology: Vex (change the arrangement or position of;disturb the peace of mind of; afflict with mental agitation or distress) & Ex (former partner) & Your Size (body image, appearance) & exercise (the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit)

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Superfacial

hyperborean

Created by: hyperborean

Pronunciation: sue per FAY shuhl

Sentence: Her tears were beginning to carve channels, but instead of facing her pain, she made another appointment for a superfacial.

Etymology: Based on "superficial": of, affecting or being on the surface. (super: exceeding a norm) + (facial: a cosmetic treatment for the face)

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Chompensate

Created by: bookowl

Pronunciation: chom/pen/sate

Sentence: To chompensate involves aggressively biting down on food to exercise the face muscles as you eat.

Etymology: compensate + chomp + sate

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COMMENTS:

They do that on the Chomps-Elysee in Paris...god word, bookowl! - Nosila, 2008-08-20: 23:34:00

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Tartificialing

Created by: Scrumpy

Pronunciation: tahrt-uh-fish-uhl-ng

Sentence: Bill was tartificialing to impress Monica who was the new girl in the office. But Ken, a guy in the office, became suspicious of Bill's self improvement.

Etymology: tart - (garish,overdone ex. to tart up ones appearance.) + artificial + ing

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he achieved that look with tartificial sweeteners - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:53:00

I hope Bill's not a tartificious tataram! (A foolish old man,esp one with sex on his mind- Rasta slang (1930) - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:51:00

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Abpathetic

DrWebsterIII

Created by: DrWebsterIII

Pronunciation: ab + pə-ˈthe-tik

Sentence: I wish my Uncle Marvin wasn't so abpathetic and just by a new red Ferrari sports car like any normal middle aged divorced man

Etymology: Ab (from abdominals or stomached + pathetic (absurd, melancholy, laughable, or sad)

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COMMENTS:

hyperborean Great word! Welcome back DrWeb! - hyperborean, 2012-10-23: 22:38:00

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Onthemakeover

Created by: rikboyee

Pronunciation:

Sentence:

Etymology:

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Nipsuck

Created by: astorey

Pronunciation: nip-suk

Sentence: In a shameless effort to regain her mojo and show her ex(es) what they were missing, Vanessa went for the full nipsuck...from the "can't-stop-smiling facelift" to the drastic stomach stapling that kept her from eating anything on the many dinner dates she finagled through the ironically named www.divorcedandlovingit.com.

Etymology: Variation of nip and tuck.

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COMMENTS:

Four words! Hil Ar I Ous! - lumina, 2008-08-20: 15:20:00

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Emulateration

Created by: SethelMerman

Pronunciation: em-yoo-LATE-ur-a-shun

Sentence: "My emulateration is complete, should Cher stumble onstage, her tone-deaf back up dancer can step in and save the day. Where did I put my marbles? " ~Shar Bano, Backstage

Etymology: From (Emulate: to imitate to try to equal or excel) + (alteration: the state of being altered. Changed)

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Dumprove

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: dum-proov

Sentence: After the divorce, Bert decided he needed to dumprove his image. He lost his unibrow with the help of Nair, but his beach-ball belly was going to need drastic surgery.

Etymology: dump, improve

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COMMENTS:

I thought the unibrow was fashionable again. Hmmm... Great word! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-20: 10:12:00

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Abpolish

Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ab/poll/ish

Sentence: The only way to abpolish her demons and win back her self esteem was to throw herself wholeheartedly into sculpting a new physique.

Etymology: ab (as in abdominal) + polish + abolish

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COMMENTS:

Anuddergudun'! - Scrumpy, 2007-09-20: 10:02:00

I must abpologize - I found this one tough so I had to milk it for all it was worth - Jabberwocky, 2007-09-20: 10:35:00

Abpolish doesn't have the snarky pejorative connotations. Yours is best! - skeeterzirra, 2007-09-20: 14:23:00

Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab! - OZZIEBOB, 2007-09-20: 17:46:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-09-20: 00:01:00
Today's definition was suggested by staggolee. Thank you staggolee! ~ James

OZZIEBOB - 2007-09-20: 17:44:00
Sure was a tough one. Abfab Jab!

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2011-06-02: 00:07:00
Today's definition was suggested by staggolee. Thank you staggolee. ~ James