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DEFINITION: n., Forced small talk used by professional caregivers to put patients at ease. (Not usually effective.) v., To ask insipid questions while subjecting a person to an intimate, awkward or painful procedure.
Verboticisms
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Yackattack
Created by: Mustang
Pronunciation: YAK-uh-tak
Sentence: When Bertrand went in for his dental appointments he knew he was going to be bombarded with a yackattack from the dentist who never seemed to run out of inane questions and commments.
Etymology: Blend of 'yack' (Prolonged, sometimes senseless talk; chatter) and 'attack' (to set about (a task) or go to work on (a thing) vigorously)
Afflictscussion
Created by: amandaprater
Pronunciation: uh-flixs-cuss-shun
Sentence: As the dentist poked around in the patients mouth, he asked the patient about his family. The afflictscussion was obvious as he tried to answer.
Etymology:
Jabwitter
Created by: TJayzz
Pronunciation: Jabb-wit-er
Sentence: Dr B. Kindly always resorted to the tried and tested method of jabwitter to put his patients at ease while injecting them. He would ask them trivial questions, such as, where they were going for their holiday or what they intended to have for lunch to distract their attention away from the pain. After twenty years in the profession he found this was the best tactic to use on most people.
Etymology: Jab(a hypodermic injection) + Witter(to speak about trivial matters) = Jabwitter
Izeartless
Created by: brimuth
Pronunciation: is - art- less (is heartless)
Sentence: As soon as the the medico inserted the needle the izeartless smalltalk poured from his mouth.
Etymology:
Splatterpatter
Created by: galwaywegian
Pronunciation: sp latt ur patt ur
Sentence: She engaged in constant splatterpatter, interjecting euphemisms and repatree through the constant stream of gristle and gore
Etymology: patter, splatter
Medirap
Created by: fourgirls
Pronunciation: Medi rap
Sentence: Craig was challenged by the medirap of his dentist. His usual big mouth was frustrated.
Etymology: Medical, rap
Obligastory
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: oh/blig/a/story
Sentence: Every six months I am muzzled and forced to listen to the dentist's obligastory about his three sons - almost as boring as his drill.
Etymology: obligatory + story
Spitchat
Created by: mrskellyscl
Pronunciation: spit-chat
Sentence: Harold hated having to spitchat with the dentist when he had a mouth full of drool from novicaine and dental instruments jammed under his gums.
Etymology: wordplay on chitchat: an informal conversation
Communicache
Created by: Nosila
Pronunciation: kom myun i kayke
Sentence: Every time Eddy went to see his Dentist, Dr.Iva Payne, he had to endure their usual communicache exchange. She would communicate with him inane questions about the weather, politics and his family and he would endure the ache. He honestly did not know how she understood him, but after years of doing this, she could understand the answers of her victims, er patients.
Etymology: Communicate (transmit thoughts or feelings or information) & Ache (pain)

Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you again remistram! ~ James
OZZIEBOB - 2007-10-16: 05:32:00
Great definition and cartoon. Recently, I have had the need to attend a variety of medical professionals, and find that they engage in a fair bit of small talk. Dentists , by far, chatter and, also, seem to recommend the use of a wide range of products.
Thanks Ozziebob! I too have been at the dentist and walked out not only with a sore tooth, but also with a sore ear. ~ James
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:50:00
whynecology
lumina - 2008-09-11: 00:56:00
Sorry bout that...didn't meant to comment...hit wrong button.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James