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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Verboticisms

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Guestopo

whipspeak

Created by: whipspeak

Pronunciation: geh-stah-poh

Sentence: The dealership was crawling with Guestopo and I had to get out of there before I was spotted. They have ways of making you buy.

Etymology: Gestapo: the German state secret police during the Nazi regime + Guest: visitor or patron + stop: to interrupt, arrest, or check

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Asswholesaler

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: all hoel say lor

Sentence: He suggested to the asswholesaler that he park his car of the week somewhere it was anatomically impossible to so do.

Etymology: asshole wholesaler

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COMMENTS:

:) - Nosila, 2011-04-20: 21:34:00

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Impeddler

Created by: Discoveria

Pronunciation: imm-PED-lur

Sentence: The impeddler was so obnoxious that I stormed out of the shop, accidentally breaking some cheap plastic products on my way out.

Etymology: impede (to obstruct or hinder) + peddler (a travelling seller of goods)

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Antishoppest

Created by: remistram

Pronunciation: ann-tee-shawp-pest

Sentence: If Rudy saw any antishoppests around he would hide in the changeroom until the coast was clear.

Etymology: anti-shop-pest

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Counterassistant

Created by: katytee

Pronunciation:

Sentence: Tired of being trailed round the store by counterassistants, Ed resolved from that moment to do all his shopping online in his underwear and eating pizza , free to scratch himself and 'look a bit too scruffy for Jenners' to his heart's content.

Etymology: Someone offering counter-productive assistance (Counter + assistance, with a nod in the direction of persistent)

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COMMENTS:

It rolls from the tongue lightly... - Scattercat, 2007-05-20: 19:34:00

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Clurk

Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: Clerk.

Sentence: That damn clurk keeps popping up out of nowhere and bugging me - no, I don't need help! Let's just go.

Etymology: clerk & lurk

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COMMENTS:

petaj Sounds really creepy. Clurk Kent has the hightest, fastest, strongest sales record of all. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 23:12:00

surfstang I like it - surfstang, 2007-05-18: 00:48:00

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Stalkeeper

Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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Emnnoyee

ohwtepph

Created by: ohwtepph

Pronunciation: em - NOI - ee

Sentence: Though Gilbert is a real good friend of mine, I have to admit that he was being a total emnnoyee when he kept asking me if I was going to get that jacket or not. I've said "Maybe" a thousand times and I swear he said "Are you taking that jacket?" a million more times. I could have sworn he was just being an ass just because that jacket I was trying on was the jacket he stashandcarried a month ago and worked hard for in that shop. Now, that makes me think. He wasn't being an ass by being a totally sucky emnnoyee... it was me who was the ass! I feel like I'm getting to know Gilbert and his emnnoyeeness more with this rational sentence construction.

Etymology: employee (someone who works for) + annoy (to disturb or bother in an irritating way)

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COMMENTS:

A totally annoying sentence! Good job! - purpleartichokes, 2007-05-16: 12:04:00

ohwtepph Or ENNOYEE would also work. Darn, it's just one of those late ideas! - ohwtepph, 2007-05-16: 21:24:00

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Commissionary

Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: com-mission-ary

Sentence: David is a blood thirsty commissionary, attacking any unsuspecting customer that might stroll into his section at the electonics store. His tactics are ruthless, just to make the "sale" and get the commission.

Etymology: commission/missionary, as in propagator of religion or a relentless soldier

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he always assumes the commissionary position - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-16: 12:29:00

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Mischanthrope

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: mĭs'chən-thrōp

Sentence: bobby did want to offend the customers. But whenever he saw people casually perusing he was filled with a mischanthropic urge to demonstrate his favorite products. Mischanthropy was the only sales tactic he was capable of, blathering and rambling a high pressure sales at every opportunity. Sometimes he would try to avoid customers who looked as though they did not need assistance, but he could rarely contain his urge to wave strawberries in their faces. He was a true mischanthrope.

Etymology: mis (bad) + merchant (latin: mercari "to trade") + thrope (Latin: anthropos "man." as in misanthrope)

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James