Verboticisms

Created by: heartnsoul

Pronunciation: ip/i/cac/lurk

Sentence: I thought I had made it through the perfume department undetected, but when I turned down the next aisle, there stood a grinning ipecaclerk with her finger on the trigger of a perfume bottle!

Etymology: ipecac (from Syrup of Ipecac) + clerk (the kind who tends to also lurk)

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COMMENTS:

Aaah! Run! - heartnsoul, 2007-05-16: 19:43:00

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Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Created by: mrskellyscl

Pronunciation: sales-jerk

Sentence: The salesjerk at the car dealership turned the big "Sellabration" into "sellabrasion" when he kept trying to sell me a gargantuan gas guzzler that was painted green that he wanted to get rid of, even after I told him I wanted a "green car" to help the environment.

Etymology: wordplay on salesclerk -- jerk: foolish, rude or contemptible person

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COMMENTS:

Like sellabrasion too! - artr, 2009-12-01: 07:05:00

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Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: kumm ish yon errr eeee

Sentence: He tread the sales floor with commissionary zeal, emptying it within minutes

Etymology: commission, missionary

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COMMENTS:

cute - Nosila, 2009-12-01: 11:04:00

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Created by: DaddiezGyrl

Pronunciation:

Sentence: The commisher bombarded me as I entered the store.

Etymology: Combo of commission and pusher

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Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: o ver selz us

Sentence: The guy was everywhere. We were grocery shopping, in the produce aisle, when this geeky associate thrusts a box of strawberries at us and says, "Try these, they're berry nice!" We demer, but he's back 2 minutes later with green onions, saying, "Repeat after me, I'm the Italian Scallion!" He then shows us a potato ("Don't his eyes have a peel?") and a husk of corn ("Meet the kernel, he's all ears.") Finally, "Orange you as glad as I yam that you decided to turnip in my department?" and finally, "It's bean great to "C" you, you're hard to beet!" "Do you wanna date?"... At that point, I snapped and said, "Lettuce see what your Store Manager has to say about your oversellsus behavior!" To which the Store Manager replied, "Don't worry about Romaine, cos he's just trying to get a head. When he's not taking a leek here, he goes to comedy school as a caper. He wants to earn a higher celery and get a plum job. I just can't squash his dreams!"

Etymology: Overzealous (marked by excessive enthusiasm for and intense devotion to a cause or idea) & Over (too much) & Sells Us (persuade somebody to accept something; do business; offer for sale as for one's livelihood;deliver to an enemy by treachery)

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COMMENTS:

overclever! - mweinmann, 2009-12-01: 07:50:00

nice - galwaywegian, 2009-12-01: 09:48:00

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Created by: karenanne

Pronunciation: SALES rep tile

Sentence: The slimy salesreptile stalked me like a crocodile who has realized that a delicious juicy fawn is drinking at the edge of the water. I felt him coming before I actually saw him. Then, like the crocodile, only his eyes appeared over the clothes racks. Like the fawn, I skittered away as he approached, pretending to take an important call which I could only hear by leaving the store.

Etymology: sales rep + reptile

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COMMENTS:

Good story...his prices were probably too deer anyway! - Nosila, 2009-12-01: 20:07:00

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Created by: Osomatic

Pronunciation: Clerk.

Sentence: That damn clurk keeps popping up out of nowhere and bugging me - no, I don't need help! Let's just go.

Etymology: clerk & lurk

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COMMENTS:

Sounds really creepy. Clurk Kent has the hightest, fastest, strongest sales record of all. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 23:12:00

I like it - surfstang, 2007-05-18: 00:48:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: shopper-block-it

Sentence: I was mad keen to cash in my coupon for the low-rise, stretch, stonewash, studded, stovepipe legged jeans at half-price, but when I reached the store I cowered in the doorway before the salesresistant. There was Ursula, a shopperblockit par excellence with her stentorian voice and sergeant-major mannerisms bearing down on me.

Etymology: shopper docket (sales promotions printed on the back of receipts) + block (obstruct/hinder)

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