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'Are you just browsing?'

DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Sirenade

artr

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Oversal

Created by: wordguy120

Pronunciation: O-ver-sul

Sentence: the people in that shop were real oversals

Etymology:

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Retailiton

Created by: daisy

Pronunciation: ree-tail-i-ton

Sentence: The retailiton followed us around the circle K as if we were going to steal something.

Etymology:

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Salesassassin

Created by: purpleartichokes

Pronunciation: sailz-ah-sass-in

Sentence: Bob was only in the store for two minutes when he was accosted by a salesassassin who tried to coax him into buying that smart pink sweater that was all the rage on verbotomy.com.

Etymology: sales associate, assassin

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COMMENTS:

petaj That saleassassin ought to get the customerswervist of the month award. - petaj, 2007-05-16: 05:09:00

That salesassassin sounds like a real courtesyjerk. - Clayton, 2007-05-16: 14:54:00

I love the huge number of "S"s - think "The Salesassassin sells seashells on the shore"... - duchessella, 2007-05-17: 03:27:00

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Stalkeeper

Created by: duchessella

Pronunciation: STOCK-kee-per

Sentence: Diminished self-awareness, no sense of humiliation and unfaltering persistence are the most important virtues in a successful stalkeeper.

Etymology: Stalker + Shopkeeper. Because I ALWAYS feel really disturbed by stalkeepers, like they're obtrusing my personal space, stalking me inside a shop, following me everywhere (in the 40 sq. ft. shop) and trying to press me to buy everything I don't need. Argh

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Pushinator

Created by: jonobo

Pronunciation: "push" like in push + "inator" like in terminator.

Sentence: At first sight i thought he would just be an average standard legal pusher, then i had to realise that he was at least one of those new powerpusher models, but when i tried to leave the shop he showed his real potential and i finally came to the only rational conclusion left: he was the Pushinator.

Etymology: Pusher + Terminator = Pushinator.

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Mischanthrope

zrotv

Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: mĭs'chən-thrōp

Sentence: bobby did want to offend the customers. But whenever he saw people casually perusing he was filled with a mischanthropic urge to demonstrate his favorite products. Mischanthropy was the only sales tactic he was capable of, blathering and rambling a high pressure sales at every opportunity. Sometimes he would try to avoid customers who looked as though they did not need assistance, but he could rarely contain his urge to wave strawberries in their faces. He was a true mischanthrope.

Etymology: mis (bad) + merchant (latin: mercari "to trade") + thrope (Latin: anthropos "man." as in misanthrope)

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Ipecaclerk

Created by: heartnsoul

Pronunciation: ip/i/cac/lurk

Sentence: I thought I had made it through the perfume department undetected, but when I turned down the next aisle, there stood a grinning ipecaclerk with her finger on the trigger of a perfume bottle!

Etymology: ipecac (from Syrup of Ipecac) + clerk (the kind who tends to also lurk)

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COMMENTS:

Aaah! Run! - heartnsoul, 2007-05-16: 19:43:00

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Keendean

Created by: Rhyme79

Pronunciation: keen-deen

Sentence: OMG, he was such a keendean that I legged it out the shop as soon as he turned his back. Keendeans are such a pain in the arse. They make me uncomfortable.

Etymology: Keen - eager, enthusiastic Dean - male name

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Asswholesaler

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: all hoel say lor

Sentence: He suggested to the asswholesaler that he park his car of the week somewhere it was anatomically impossible to so do.

Etymology: asshole wholesaler

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COMMENTS:

:) - Nosila, 2011-04-20: 21:34:00

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Comments:

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2007-05-16: 03:36:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire! ~ James

Verbotomy Verbotomy - 2009-12-01: 00:16:00
Today's definition was suggested by iwasatripwire. Thank you iwasatripwire. ~ James