Verboticisms

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ass ayls mahn

Sentence: the assailsman had no job convincing sheepish sheila it was a baahrgain

Etymology: salesman assail

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Created by: toadstool57

Pronunciation: com-mission-ary

Sentence: David is a blood thirsty commissionary, attacking any unsuspecting customer that might stroll into his section at the electonics store. His tactics are ruthless, just to make the "sale" and get the commission.

Etymology: commission/missionary, as in propagator of religion or a relentless soldier

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COMMENTS:

I wonder if he always assumes the commissionary position - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-16: 12:29:00

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Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: shopper-block-it

Sentence: I was mad keen to cash in my coupon for the low-rise, stretch, stonewash, studded, stovepipe legged jeans at half-price, but when I reached the store I cowered in the doorway before the salesresistant. There was Ursula, a shopperblockit par excellence with her stentorian voice and sergeant-major mannerisms bearing down on me.

Etymology: shopper docket (sales promotions printed on the back of receipts) + block (obstruct/hinder)

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Created by: serendipity9000

Pronunciation: SALES-grey-ter

Sentence: I was all excited to look at the latest styles they got in last week - but then their salesgrater started following me around and I had to get out of there.

Etymology: Sales (as in salesperson) + Grate (to annoy or rub the wrong way.. also a play on the standard 'sales-greeter' label for sales people charged with greeting every customer')

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Created by: surfstang

Pronunciation: shop/er/stalk/er

Sentence: I wasn't able to browse peacefully because the shopperstalker decided I was his next victim.

Etymology: shopper + stalker

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Created by: artr

Pronunciation: sīrəˈnād

Sentence: Melody is a wonderful salesperson. Even her detractors have to admit she is hard to resist. Once she starts her sirenade, the sale is all but final. The first verse usually starts with **How may I help You Today?** The final chorus... **Come see us again**. Her song can be soothing, flirting, or annoying but always unrelenting. Anyone who wanders too close buys something. A customer once tried to return an ugly green sweater and returned home with two sweaters, one blue and one yellow. **Blue and yellow make green** made sense when Melody said it.

Etymology: siren (Greek Mythology each of a number of women or winged creatures whose singing lured unwary sailors onto rocks) + serenade (a piece of music sung or played in the open air, typically by a man at night under the window of his lover)

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Created by: Jabberwocky

Pronunciation: ped/lur/push/urs

Sentence: Our local video store is full of peddlerpushers who sneak up behind you when you're deep in thought and then shadow you relentlessly as you peruse the movie selection

Etymology: peddler + pusher + pedal pushers

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COMMENTS:

funny AND fashionable! - galwaywegian, 2007-05-16: 06:06:00

how did you see that so fast - you must work in our video store - Jabberwocky, 2007-05-16: 06:09:00

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Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: ohn komm ish yun err

Sentence: he was so obviously an oncommissioner, his nose would start to twitch even before the customer had opened the door.

Etymology: co commission, commissioner

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Created by: zrotv

Pronunciation: mĭs'chən-thrōp

Sentence: bobby did want to offend the customers. But whenever he saw people casually perusing he was filled with a mischanthropic urge to demonstrate his favorite products. Mischanthropy was the only sales tactic he was capable of, blathering and rambling a high pressure sales at every opportunity. Sometimes he would try to avoid customers who looked as though they did not need assistance, but he could rarely contain his urge to wave strawberries in their faces. He was a true mischanthrope.

Etymology: mis (bad) + merchant (latin: mercari "to trade") + thrope (Latin: anthropos "man." as in misanthrope)

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Created by: whipspeak

Pronunciation: geh-stah-poh

Sentence: The dealership was crawling with Guestopo and I had to get out of there before I was spotted. They have ways of making you buy.

Etymology: Gestapo: the German state secret police during the Nazi regime + Guest: visitor or patron + stop: to interrupt, arrest, or check

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