Vote for the best verboticism.
DEFINITION: v. To arrive at a meeting completely unprepared and then work diligently and obviously to distract yourself from the proceedings. n. A person who attends a meeting but does not believe that they are paid enough to actually pay attention.
Verboticisms
Click on each verboticism to read the sentences created by the Verbotomy writers, and to see your voting options...
You have two votes. Click on the words to read the details, then vote your favorite.
Nontributor
Created by: mweinmann
Pronunciation: non - trib - you - tore
Sentence: When Lenny didn't get the raise he thought he deserved, he became a nontributor at all of the meetings he was forced to attend. He brought in nothing that could be interpreted as a contribution to the meeting. Instead, he brought in crossword books, playing cards or even his Nintendo DS. Once in awhile, he would say something like "does anyone know a four letter word for someone who misbehaves in company meetings ending in the letter K?" Or "Yes, the Red Jack goes on the Black Queen", just to irritate those who made him attend.
Etymology: Contributor (To help bring about a result; act as a factor, giving in common with others for a common purpose) + Non (Negative form of a word or group of words)
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COMMENTS:
excellent - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-14: 11:31:00
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Recalcityroaf
Created by: metrohumanx
Pronunciation: ree-cal-sit-TIE-roaf (recalcityroafette)
Sentence: The Library Dominatrix had forced Jeff to abandon his personal feifdom and attend a typically bogus meeting at the Megastructure. Unkemp and unconcerned, Jeff was only a RECALCI-TYROAF compared to the rest of us who had suffered through endless vapid meetings totally devoid of meaning or productivity. Jeff's casual insolence marked him for what he was...a mere amateur at the subtle art of boss-baiting. His five-minute Pornopoint Presentation only brought him a week in the cooler. Years of administrative harassment had converted our workplace into an academic version of a prisoner of war camp, and our subtle sarcasm, subliminal suggestions and underground campaign of disinformation had led to the total breakdown of more than one camp administrator. Totally lacking subtlety, Jeff's blatant insolence and goon-baiting drew the Commandant's attention while we discreetly falsified memos, released budgies, and planted several alarm clocks timed to disrupt our annual Staff Appreciation Day. So even a RECALCI-TYROAF has a place in the great SCHEME of things. They never DID discover the tunnel.
Etymology: RECALCItrant+TYRo+OAF=RECALCITYROAF....RECALCITRANT:: obstinately defiant of authority or restraint,difficult to manage or train,not responsive to treatment; Late Latin recalcitrant-, recalcitrans, present participle of recalcitrare to be stubbornly disobedient, from Latin, to kick back, from re- + calcitrare to kick, from calc-, calx heel.....TYRO:a beginner in learning,one inept at insubordination;Medieval Latin, from Latin tiro young soldier, tyro.....OAF:a stupid person, a boob,a big clumsy slow-witted person; alteration of auf, alfe goblin's child, probably from Middle English alven, elven elf, fairy, from Old English elfen nymphs; akin to Old English ælf elf.
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COMMENTS:
Rats! The word "city" seems too pronounced- I wanted more emphasis on "tyro". I'll try to do better, gang. - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 01:21:00
Free online books here:
http://www.gutenberg.org/catalog/ - metrohumanx, 2009-01-14: 02:05:00
I tried to say that three times and broke my tongue....but I still like it. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:57:00
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Onslacker
Created by: leechdude
Pronunciation: on- slaker
Sentence: The onslacker didn't mind the meeting until his boss had fired him.
Etymology: onlooker, slacker
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COMMENTS:
Lot of originality in your choice of words for your etymology. Good verboticism. - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:18:00
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Rotwhiler
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: rot while er
Sentence: Not one to bring a thing to the table, nor one to go and fetch, he never worked like a dog. He would sit for hours. He idled away the weeks, like they were all, dog days of summer. He was not a springer into action, and certainly not a pointer of the way. To meetings, he would go, but he was just a setter. He was a rotwhiler! Dog gone him!
Etymology: ROT, WHILE AWAY. Rot - to spoil; as in to spoil the meeting or the day. While away - to pass time idly.
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COMMENTS:
at least he went to meetings - our IT guys are all laptop dogs - Jabberwocky, 2009-01-14: 13:41:00
I had a dog just like that, but he was a pit poodle. - Mustang, 2009-01-14: 17:56:00
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Spectraitor
Created by: Jabberwocky
Pronunciation: spec/tray/tur
Sentence: John attended the morning meeting merely as a spectraitor. He successfully sabotaged establishing the agenda for the day.
Etymology: spectator (onlooker) + traitor (subversive element)
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COMMENTS:
Wow! I admire the way you select words and put them together in your sentence and verboticisms so that we don't just read and understand ... they also evoke feelings and emotions ... of all kinds. Not only is your sentence and word right on the definition, but evokes that antipathy we all feel when it happens. Outstanding verboticism! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 10:32:00
Cleverly constructed word. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:49:00
...now if he could only get the competition to pay him for sabotaging the meetings. Hmmm. Nice word! - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00
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Offassoffender
Created by: silveryaspen
Pronunciation: off - ass - uhf - end - er
Sentence: Once in awhile, an office has an offassoffender, who slacks off, and sluffs off, his work onto others. He is unready and unwilling to go to the meeting table. Off-timed, he strolls in with nothing, and mouths off, spewing off the cuff, off the peg, off the wall remarks, many of them off key, off color, and offensive. The boss finally had enoff. He offed him ... he took him off the books, and right off the job! That was the end of awful Mr. Offalhead.
Etymology: Office, Ass, Offender,
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COMMENTS:
That horse's patoot was no doubt the butt of many jokes over the water cooler. The boss was right to expel that stinker from the offeces. - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 05:31:00
Those puns are just offal. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:05:00
Offally amusing! - spotthecat1, 2008-03-24: 16:28:00
Very clever and amusing. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-03-24: 19:53:00
Don't think I've ever heard anyone being called an "Offalhead" before. It's very 'PC'and I may just use it when talking about some Offassoffenders I know. ;) - Tigger, 2008-03-24: 20:18:00
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Slacktendant
Created by: arrrteest
Pronunciation: slak-tend-ent
Sentence: Everyone who arrived at the meeting on time took a poll as to see what Jeff would bring with him to prove he was worthy of his slacktendant title. Two out of the four members who were there thought he would bring a copy of the latest anime or manga magazine he was sharing with Whistler from accounting. One said he would probably write emails and text his girlfriend on his Blackberry, while another said it had been a while since the last time he clipped his fingernails and toenails and plucked his nosehairs. Last Monday he brought the New York Times crossword puzzle and kept shouting out the words when he got them or muttering the clues under his breath.
Etymology: slacker (one who shirks work) + attendant (one who is present)
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COMMENTS:
Your sentence and word fit together, and fit the definition, like a hand in a glove Very well done! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 01:40:00
You've no doubt met my brother in law, Mervyn? Great word! - Mustang, 2008-03-24: 06:13:00
Sorry, Mustang, I misspelled 'Mervyn' in my sentence. - stache, 2008-03-24: 10:10:00
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Slactor
Created by: readerwriter
Pronunciation: Sl-ak-tore
Sentence: The management team had to assume from his body language that notorious office slactor, Simon Sez, didn't realize he was attending his own exit interview.
Etymology: A blend of SLACKER, meaning a person who shirks work + ACTOR, a theatrical performer; feminine = slactress
Poohpoohbah
Created by: artr
Pronunciation: poōpoōbä
Sentence: Bob attends meetings as directed. That doesn’t mean he feels the need to contribute anything useful. He is the self-appointed poohpoohbah of the conference. If anybody makes a suggestion he will begrudging look up from his Blackberry long enough to utter something like ”That won’t work” or ”That’s a stupid idea” and go back to ignoring the proceedings.
Etymology: Pooh-pooh (dismiss (an idea or suggestion) as being foolish or impractical) + Pooh-bah (a person having much influence or holding many offices at the same time, esp. one perceived as pompously self-important)
Dislaction
Created by: Biscotti
Pronunciation: dys-lack-shun
Sentence: John was a severe dislaction when he showed up to the quarterly report meeting dressed up in a gorilla suit and screaming "Guerilla warfare, recruit the monkies!!" Needless to say, he was dragged away on possible terrorism charges and lost his job.
Etymology: distraction (getting other's attention away from the problem at hand) + slacker (one who is consistently lazy)
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COMMENTS:
Entertainalicious! - doseydotes, 2008-03-24: 17:08:00
Roared with laughter ... Great creates! - silveryaspen, 2008-03-24: 21:16:00
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Comments:
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 07:46:00
This is a poem I actually wrote in a meeting:
Meeting Hell
By David E. Selvin
As I sit here in this meeting,
My mind's attention span is fleeting,
I contemplate actually retreating,
From this place in meeting hell.
But from the clock, it's click and clocking,
My state of mind, it keeps on mocking,
My inner scream, to me, is shocking,
As I hallucinate the ending bell.
Still, I came with no allusion,
Complicit in my blind collusion,
For my schedule’s planned intrusion,
That I’ve come to accept, but dread.
I arrive and check the seating,
Politely smile and say a greeting,
Knowing sanity will take a beating,
Within the confines of my weary head.
Still, although, I'm stuck here sitting,
My stomach lining must be pitting,
A straight jacket soon just might be fitting,
And only time will surely tell.
I hope a response is not required,
They might notice sanity expired,
And ability to reason duly mired,
My interest level a labored sell.
I awake: Is it a nightmare?
I catch myself with an insipid blank stare,
Hearing talking though the stale air,
Not all sure where it’s coming from.
Try to focus. What is the topic?
The planner’s plans were quite myopic,
My mind is on an island tropic,
My body sits here limp and numb.
I hope I don’t get called to answer,
My pulse would rise as if a dancer,
My body pained as if full with cancer,
Reacting like a hammered thumb.
A sympathetic nod of head,
Seems to follow just what is said,
But an EEG would read out "dead,"
An indication not all is well.
I'm not sure what I gain from training,
For what topic that it's pertaining,
The whole experience is very draining,
My angst is what I need to quell.
My angst is what I need to quell.
Excellent poem arrrteest! It insubordinuttily captures the disenwaged spirit of a slacktendant agendabender. ~ James
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 09:19:00
Quoth the employee, "Nevermore!"
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:07:00
Remistram and James, your definition and cartoon are a big hit! They not only inspired great verboticisms (not a bad one in the bunch again) but even poetry! Laughter, too! Great job!
silveryaspen - 2008-03-24: 11:10:00
Did you write your poem in a meeting hell, arrrteest? It is a wonderfully well done rhyme and adds much to our time here today! I'm so glad you shared it with us.
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 13:36:00
Write it in meeting hell? Yes, I did! It was a mind numbing, pointless, poorly thought out, going through the motions, no followthrough afterwards, dead in the water, series of meetings/"trainings" that is enherent within large organizations. It was complete with "activators," "capture sheets" and "group participation." Aaaah phoey. You bet. Am I sarred for life? Well let's just say the poem saved me from $$$$ of therapy. If you want to be productive and positive in a meeting, don't sit next to me. LOL!
purpleartichokes - 2008-03-24: 16:00:00
Great poem arrrteest! I think I was at that meeting.
Jamagra - 2008-03-24: 16:41:00
Wow Arteest! Glad you have writing as an outlet from meeting hell! I really do NOT miss those days!
arrrteest - 2008-03-24: 17:22:00
"inherent"-ah an errant moment
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:40:00
but your word is not in your sentence...
wayoffcenter - 2009-01-14: 04:46:00
Sorry, comment in wrong spot (and I used to laugh at people who made this mistake) Comment was meant for Illoiterite.
Today's definition was suggested by remistram. Thank you remistram. ~ James