Verboticisms

Created by: artr

Pronunciation: kaləstrāniks

Sentence: After years of general neglect, Jim decided to get back to the gym. Of course, as with most things, he overdid it. His callistrainics left him on his back on the sofa just like before he began.

Etymology: callisthenics (gymnastic exercises to achieve bodily fitness and grace of movement) + strain (a force tending to pull or stretch something to an extreme or damaging degree)

| Comments and Points

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: hurt ills

Sentence: Frankie's new fitness routine was self-designed and not well thought out. He tried to force ten years of inactivity into one afternoon at the gym to get in shape. Of course he instead caused himself a series of hurtills which required medical attention.

Etymology: Hurdles (to jump a barrier)& Hurt (injured;feel pain or be in pain ) & Ills (not in good physical or mental health)

| Comments and Points

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: wayt for sur juree

Sentence: Smedley was determined to turn himself from a bookish, skinny nerd into a bronzed, buff love god. Unfortunately, he did not prepare himself properly...his bid to get laser surgery to correct his myopia failed and he needed even stronger glasses. His day at the tanning salon was also a disaster since he looked like a buttered lobster when done. And his weight training at the gym made him tear tendons, ligaments and caused him to become a weightforsurgery case. With any luck he'd be back to his old nerdy self in 6-9 months. He should have left well enough alone!

Etymology: weight (sports equipment used in calisthenic exercises and weightlifting; a weight that is not attached to anything and is raised and lowered by use of the hands and arms) & For Surgery (a medical procedure involving an incision with instruments; performed to repair damage or arrest disease in a living body) Rhymes with Wait for Surgery...all too common and lengthy a wait these days, sadly)

| Comments and Points

Created by: galwaywegian

Pronunciation: were couch

Sentence: The annual january workouch proved as painful as always, the treadmill became a headmill, the bench press got a stranglehold which didn't release it's grip until he had peed on the pilates ball. The visit was followed by the annual visit to the chiropracter.

Etymology: workout, ouch

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Ouch indeed! - TJayzz, 2008-05-06: 20:56:00

Good one...do you think chiropractors own shares in gyms? mmmm - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 20:06:00

Excellent word! Simple yet versatile. - Tigger, 2008-05-07: 21:57:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: petaj

Pronunciation: train-crash

Sentence: Connor's traincrash was the worst I'd ever seen at the gym. After two full days of repetitions on the machines, he was so exhausted that he fell asleep against the weights rack, which caused the weights to roll along the floor taking out half the yoga class, the rest of whom ran screaming towards the treadmills causing one of the joggers to lose his footing and suddenly shoot backward wherein he splashed into the pool causing a huge puddle to flood the floor beneath the weight rack giving Connor a terrible electric shock resulting in burns to 75% of his body and a nasty tremor that he'll have for the rest of his life.

Etymology: train (undertake a fitness program) + crash (incident that often causes injury) + train crash (something that is awful to witness)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

I've had a couple of those. Guess you could say I'm a 'trainwreck'. Great word. - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:49:00

too much loco motion, I suppose - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:49:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: arrrteest

Pronunciation: in-ten-dun-eye-tis

Sentence: Bill was right back where he started: on the couch next to a half-eaten box of meat-lover's pizza. But this time, he was unable to lift his arm to point the remote on account of his intendonitis. You see, earlier in the day he saw an infomercial about how to lose all that flab and he decided he was motivated enough to waltz into the gym and start off where he left the last time in college 15 years and 70lbs ago. He thought he begin with benching 240, the weight he used to do, but could only muster 3 reps of 80lbs. He didn't even need to use a pin to set the weights on the equipment circuit and didn't last 5 minutes on the treadmill.

Etymology: intend, to have in mind + tendonitis, inflamation of the tendons, often because of overuse

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

xcellent - galwaywegian, 2008-05-06: 07:47:00

He might finish up with Adonitis! - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:47:00

Good one, as they say, the path to Hell is paved with good Intendonitis... - Nosila, 2008-05-06: 19:58:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: natch hurt o path ee

Sentence: Arnold's naturopathy exercises turned into nathurtopathy exercises when he strained himself on his dumbells...apparently they were aptly named.

Etymology: Naturopathy (a method of treating disease using food and exercise and heat to assist the natural healing process) & Hurt (sore, in pain)

| Comments and Points

Created by: CanadianAndyCapp

Pronunciation: Arobe-Ego-nakker-ism

Sentence: At the age of "he should have known better", Richard's desperate desire to recapture his (self-deluded and fictional) youth and prowess, led him to the foolish act of joining the local gym. Once there, the sight of all the highly flexible and youthful "Gumby" girls and the muscular posturing of the male "Hunk" brigade led him to the disasterous effort of trying to compete with those a generation his Junior. The next day in the intensive care wing of the local hospital, his medical chart was filled in by the docter with the phrase "Suffered from an acute case of Arobegoknackerism during an overenergetic kneebend"

Etymology: Arobe- Arobic- (Self-inflicted pain) / Ego (Delusional self opinion) / Knacker (to bring something or oneself to the point of destruction or injury)

| Comments and Points

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: in ex zer sha

Sentence: Randy decided that five years away from his fitness club was too long. Inspired by infomercials and a waistline that kept thickening, he decided to re-enroll and get back the hard body he once proudly showed off at the beach. He carefully parked his car as close as possible to the gym - no sense risking a fall on icy pavement before he even started. When he arrived, a cute redhead was working out on an exercise bike. Without stretching or warming up, he mounted the bike beside her and peddled like the wind. After 10 minutes, he threw his leg up to dismount and pulled his groin muscle so hard that 3 attendants had to pull him off the machine and lay him on the floor, where he waited in agony until the ambulance arrived. What did this inexertia end up costing him altogether? $100 gym fee; $500 ambulance ride;$2,500 hospital fees;$500 for pain meds; $200 for having his car towed; $500 to reclaim it later at the impound yard; new shorts $50 (the old ones had to be cut off);and a date with the cute redhead who had visions of her potential suitor being unable to give her children: Priceless!

Etymology: inertia (the tendency of a body to maintain a state of rest or uniform motion unless acted upon by an external force;a disposition to remain inactive or inert) & exertion (use of physical or mental energy; hard work)

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

Makes me hurt all over just reading it. lol GOOD word!! - Mustang, 2008-05-06: 04:48:00

Oh, that's just perfect. - ErWenn, 2008-05-06: 11:24:00

Muscles come and go; flab lasts. - OZZIEBOB, 2008-05-06: 17:46:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: fit - nus - slump

Sentence: Edgar had every intention of quickly regaining muscle tone and getting back on the conditioning routine but found he'd experienced a major fitnesslump and decided to forget the whole thing and return to his couch.

Etymology: Blend of fitness and slump

----------------------------
COMMENTS:

That sounds like a nasty sort of lump. Should get it seen to. - petaj, 2008-05-06: 03:37:00

----------------------------

| Comments and Points