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Verbotomist's Delight

This is a Darwinian greenhouse. To see the top verboticisms for each definition, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.

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DEFINITION: n. An overbearing or pushy salesperson who makes you want to leave a store rather than look around and buy something. v. To aggressively sell something to someone who doesn't want it.

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Is this shrink wrapping a new security feature?

DEFINITION: v. To injure oneself physically, or to be reduced to a state of mental incapacity, when attempting to open shrink-wrapped CDs, DVDs or software. n. Packaging that is painfully difficult to open.

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My mother is a washing machine

DEFINITION: n. The sacrifice a mother makes when she gives everything to her children, including life itself, and then simply lets them go. v. To give someone everything and then watch them walk away.

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Ahhh! My hair! Don't let them see me like this!

DEFINITION: v. To remain calm, steadfast and ploddingly systematic in the midst of a huge freaking disaster. n. A person who systematizes everything from their morning routines to personal relationships.

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Look at that big smile!

DEFINITION: v. To have difficulty recognizing, and correctly interpreting, human facial expressions. n. A person who cannot read faces.

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Yeah, I do have a lot of online friends.

DEFINITION: v. To be so immersed in a virtual world that you forget about your responsibilities to the physical world -- like your job, your family, or even feeding and washing yourself. n. A person who lives exclusively in their imagination.

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Hey, you're copying me!

DEFINITION: v. To copy and share an idea, thing, or person because you think that it's so wonderful that everyone should have one. n. An open source clone.

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I quit! I'm free!

DEFINITION: n. A feeling of euphoria which occurs when you finally quit your boring, mind-numbingly dull, and emotionally unrewarding job. v. To quit your job and feel good about it.

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To see the favorite Verboticisms of the day from the past, visit the archives on the Verbotomy Blog.