Verboticism: Karatcake

'I knew you didn't want anything fattening...'

DEFINITION: n. A valentine gift which does not cause weight gain. v. To give a non-fattening gift as a symbol of love, which should not be interpreted -- under any circumstances -- as a comment on the recipient's weight.

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Karatcake

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Lovelite

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: luv lyte

Sentence: On their first date, he took her to a fast food restaurant. She left the ordering up to him, while eyeing the juicy triple bacon burgers, milkshakes and fries. He came back with exactly that as his order, but got for her instead a Coke Zero and a lettuce and tomato salad with no dressing. What she saw as his lovelight turned out to be a lovelite.

Etymology: Lovelight (a brightness of the eyes characteristic of someone in love) & Lite (diet, low calorie)

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Smattening

Created by: abrakadeborah

Pronunciation: sma-ten-ing

Sentence: Steven Stoopifidis, made sure to give a smattening Valentines heart to his sweetie, Miss Bootie Badonkazonker.

Etymology: Smack - To strike or slap smartly, with or as if with the open hand. Fattening - To make plump or fat.

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Yomammasoghurt

GlobalGallery

Created by: GlobalGallery

Pronunciation: yo-mumma-sow-gurt

Sentence: Brandon had made a special effort cooking for his wife Kylie for their 10th wedding anniversary. A seafood salad and some fine wine followed by fresh fruit and yomammasoghurt. "What's this?" asked Kylie. "Urm, the kids ate all the double choc-fudge ripple icecream" he sheepishly replied.

Etymology: 1. A play on the Yo' Mamma so fat jokes. eg 'Yo' Mamma so fat she aint got a waistline, she got an equator'. 'Yo' Mamma so fat they gotta take her licence picture with a satellite'. 2. yoghurt - a food product made from curdled milk.

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COMMENTS:

Never heard any Yo' Mamma jokes before, so thanks for for something new. Yoghurt is a word I'll be using as I don't like it. Well-crafted, punsome, funsome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:35:00

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Choconots

Created by: Nuwanda

Pronunciation: chalk-o-nots

Sentence: After hearing me lament about the Christmas weight gain and the impending doom of swimsuit season on the horizon, my husband really thought he was being considerate when he found a healthy alternative to Valentine's Day candy. However, he learned that the choconots were just the first of many denied pleasures of that holiday.

Etymology: The word "chocolates" altered to incorporate "not"

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COMMENTS:

Super funny! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:50:00

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Joulery

Created by: readerwriter

Pronunciation: jool-er-ee

Sentence: As Carmella stared at the softly gleaming string of pearls in front of her, she knew she had invented the perfect Valentine's gift. She would apply for the patent today! The hard, round vitamin-packed, sugar-free morsels she had meticulously drilled holes in would be called "joulery." Her company would be called Aunty's Joules because, of course, she was against anyone gaining weight from eating her creation. She knew she had a winner in these tough economic times. Dinner and a gift, all in one!

Etymology: A play on JOULE, meaning the energy created by caloric intake.

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COMMENTS:

When Carmella discovered her pearls weren't real, was she shocked? - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:47:00

Yes, especially as they were cast before swine! - readerwriter, 2009-02-09: 15:14:00

LOL - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 19:48:00

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Karatcake

Created by: Nosila

Pronunciation: kar at kayke

Sentence: Eddie always gave Shirley a karatcake for Valentine's day. It was a no-cal styrofoam corn cake with a piece of gold jewellery lying on it. But the price of gold kept going up, so next year he would probably get her a caratcake instead... you know the marriage proposal type of diamond ring.

Etymology: Karat (the weight of gold) & Cake (small flat mass of chopped food)

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Covertcarbcurber

Created by: kateinkorea

Pronunciation: CO vert CARB cur bur

Sentence: I know my boyfriend is worried about me getting fat like the other women in my family, so he was kind of sneaky about how he gave me my present. That covertcarbcurber gave me chocolates but he made sure I opened them around my mother and sisters...and they ate most of them.

Etymology: COVERT:to do something and try to go unnoticed or stay hidden CARB: short for carbohydrate CURBER: a person who curbs, or stops or limits an activity or thing

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Lowcalentine

Created by: skampy

Pronunciation: low-cal-entine

Sentence: I got you this lowcalentine to show you how much i love you and the fact that you just lost 19 pounds on the master cleanse.

Etymology:

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COMMENTS:

I like it! - kateinkorea, 2009-02-10: 09:12:00

Perfect blend of low calorie and valentine ... right on the definition ... superb verbotomy! Welcome! - silveryaspen, 2009-02-10: 18:07:00

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Xerofatgy

Created by: Stevenson0

Pronunciation: Xe/ro/fat/gy

Sentence: A xerofatgy Valentine gift is perfect for that Jenny Craig bound partner.

Etymology: XEROFATGY - from XEROPHAGY (a fast observed among the primitive Christians) + FAT

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COMMENTS:

Thanks for introducing me to another new word. Apt and unique! Super originality. - silveryaspen, 2009-02-09: 10:44:00

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Carborater

Created by: Mustang

Pronunciation: CAR-bo-rayt-ehr

Sentence: Much to the chagrin of his wife Lucy, Clarence was overly concerned about her health and her weight and he was a meticulous carborater and only upon careful examination of the listing of ingredients would he buy the least fattening foods, including Valentines day candy offerings.

Etymology: Blend of 'carbo' or (carbohydrate) and 'rater' (one who rates or assesses) A play on the word 'carburetor' (a device that meters 'fuel' to an engine)

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